Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

I t was anything but wonderful.

It was disconcerting, perhaps, and bizarre, and the most concerning state she had ever known her husband to be in, but it was certainly not wonderful. That was not one of the words that Beth would have used to describe her husband and his two sisters drunkenly singing along to assorted songs from elsewhere, slurring their speech and stumbling over their own toes.

“Dance with me, Brother!” Samantha shrieked, giggling, and he swept her up in some spirited jig.

These were not duchesses, not like the ones Beth had heard about, at least.

“You must remember your eldest sister, too!” Diana laughed, insisting that she join in with them, and soon enough the three of them were in a heap on the floor, pulling themselves up with wicked grins across their faces, ready to do it all over again.

“Adam,” Beth said tentatively, approaching them, “Perhaps it might be best if we call it a night?”

“As for you,” Diana said, pointing at Beth, “You simply must dance with us too. After all, it is thanks to you that we have found each other again.”

“Oh, it was nothing, truly.”

She wouldn’t have minded the gratitude, and she would have been flattered, had it not come from a lady who hardly even knew who she was herself.

“It has meant- everything to me- and my- sister.”

On each hesitation, she stumbled, but suddenly she found the strength and coordination in herself to grab Beth’s sleeve and pull her forward, the three of them taking hold of her and making her join their festivities. Beth wanted no part in them, not anymore. She simply wanted everyone to rest so that they could approach the following morning with clear minds, but it appeared that they would be preoccupied until the morning at the rate they were carrying on at.

Eventually, she pulled herself free from their grasp and hurried away, trying to fix her hair back into place as she left them. She decided to find refuge with the dukes, who seemed to be in far better shape than the others.

“Are they… alright?” She asked.

“Very much so,” Colin nodded, “They shall be right as rain by morning.”

“I wouldn’t have said that,” Graham chuckled, “I imagine they shall be worse for wear tomorrow. Very fragile indeed.”

“Because of the over-indulgence?” Beth asked, and the two gentlemen laughed.

Suddenly, Diana dug her elbow sharply into Adam’s side, and when he bent over to her level she grabbed his face in her hands, staring wildly at him.

“Should you go into hiding again,” she warned, laughing, “I shall find you myself. I would advise against that, Dear Brother, for should I be the one to hide you again, you may well not be found!”

The three of them laughed, but Beth staggered backwards. The tensions through their dinner had been frightening, but this was something else entirely, and it was far worse. They were not acting like nobility. They were acting like…

“Savages. Do they not embarrass you?” She asked, quickly covering her mouth with her hand.

Both dukes looked at her, and she could feel their eyes burning her. That was certainly not the correct thing to say about one’s wife, especially not someone with as high a rank as they had.

“Is this your first time in this sort of situation?” Graham asked, to which Beth nodded.

“That is no surprise to me. Well, what you must know is that this is completely normal. They are happy, and we are happy to see our wives like this. Are you not pleased to see your husband in such a state?”

“I cannot say that I am. This is improper, and with all of the rumors about him, and the fact that there is someone out there staking claim on our home, he really ought to think more on his behavior.”

“And if there were people that you did not know well here, I am quite sure that he would,” Graham laughed, “But we are family. I certainly would never say a bad word about my wife’s brother, nor would Colin. Why would we do anything to make our wives unhappy if we love them as much as we do?”

Beth thought about the duke’s words. It was true that no word of their improprieties would ever leave even the room, and it was not as though anyone was in danger, or even in low spirits.

“Ladies are raised,” Graham explained, “To be these perfect little things, dolls, almost. That might be how you are taught to be, but it is not who you are. You are people, and anyone who expects you to sit silently all of your life does not expect you to have much of a life at all. They are happy, and we are happy, and therefore your work as a hostess for the evening has been a success”

“I suppose.”

“Not only that, but you are missing festivities simply because you are afraid to be anything other than perfect.”

“I cannot be any less, not in the position that I am in.”

“You see? I did not say ‘less than perfect’, I said ‘other than’. I refuse to believe that perfection is the be all and end all, and even if it was– whose vision of perfection should we all aspire to be? What if my perfection is my wife there, drunk as a skunk and likely not even aware that she is standing on a table right now? Is that to say that she is perfect now?”

“Do you think she is?”

“She is my wife. Of course I do. Adam likely thinks the same of you.”

Beth smiled and nodded, for it was the easier thing to do. She couldn’t tell them the truth, if anything because it would be too difficult to explain in a way that they would understand. They had clearly married for love, not out of duty or necessity.

Then Adam looked at her too, and she crumbled. His smile made the earth drop from underneath her, and in that moment she didn’t care if he and his sisters were savages. He was her husband, and that had been the greatest act on a whim she had ever committed.

“Very well,” she nodded, “Perhaps the two of you are correct. I shall take the evening in stride, and see what happens from there.”

“Excellent,” Graham smiled, raising his glass in acknowledgement, “Now the festivities have truly begun.”

When Adam awoke the following morning, his head felt as though it had been split in two, and it was pounding.

Groaning, he burrowed his head beneath his pillows, trying to avoid the sun in any way that he could, but nothing helped. It had been a long time since he had drunk so much, but it had been necessary in order to pull himself through the evening, and then pleasant when the night had become easier.

He vaguely remembered it all. He pictured his sisters leaning into their husbands, protesting that they did not need sleep and that they were fine to return home, and Beth protesting that they had made space for them all to stay, and then all of them going to bed.

He snapped his head up to attention, immediately regretting it when he felt the shooting pain travel through him. Slowly, he pulled himself out of his bed and dressed himself, walking down to breakfast with his arm above his eyes and squinting to avoid the sunlight.

He hated burnt toast.

“Graham said that it would soak up the alcohol,” Beth said gently, pushing it towards him, “I cannot say that I envy you.”

“Everything hurts,” he moaned, and his wife giggled softly.

“Colin told me you would say that.”

“Are my sisters…”

“They are in their rooms. They are not yet prepared to come down, be it because they are in similar states to you or simply mortification. They need not worry themselves, however, for I am a quick learner with all of this.”

“You most certainly are,” he mumbled, chewing through his charcoal breakfast, “Does that mean you have yet to see them this morning?”

“Thus far, yes. I might suggest they stay a while longer, though I do not know how Diana would feel about leaving her children for longer than she already is.”

“It is quite alright, we can have them stay again, should they wish. I’m sure that now we have done this once, it will be easier. That is, if you can stomach seeing the three of us doing all of that again.”

“I cannot claim to have enjoyed it, but it made you happy and so it was bearable.”

“I certainly needed it. I believe my sisters did too. I hadn’t expected them to be so ferocious, and I certainly didn’t think that they would forgive me so quickly.”

“Is that how they forgive?”

“I believe so. It might take time, but you were right. It is necessary. I have been a dreadful brother, but I will not be anymore. I have to be good to them in the same way that they were good to me.”

Beth nodded at him, and he struggled with the rest of his food. It was his punishment of rhis behavior, which he had no doubt had shocked his wife. She had always encouraged him to be at his best, and he had let her down. Then again, she seemed rather understanding.

Diana and Samantha dared to appear by the afternoon, both looking worse for wear. One of Samantha’s children raced by, giggling, and Diana sighed painfully and hushed them, which the child took great delight in. He had missed so much of the little ones growing up, and it pained him greatly.

“We are all quite fragile this morning,” he assured them, “And Beth has suggested that you stay a while longer if needs be.”

“No, no, it is quite alright,” Diana grumbled, “I cannot leave my children longer than I have.”

“She thought you might say that.”

“I can stay,” Samantha nodded, “The children are happy here, which I must admit is quite bewildering to me. This place only ever brought me misery.”

“I certainly know that feeling,” Diana nodded, “Colin and I will be leaving shortly, but we will return the moment we receive an invitation.”

Adam nodded sadly, and when Diana saw this she gently embraced him.

“It was wonderful to see you again,” she whispered, “Even if it has been years, you haven’t changed at all. You do look a lot more like an earl, though. Shall I thank your wife for that?”

“I suppose you should, yes. She has taught me a lot.”

“I am glad– not so much about the changes she has made, as you were wonderful as you were, but I am pleased to see you this happy. You weren’t like that before.”

Adam had to admit that his sister was right. He had been closed off when he first came to England, as he decided he had a job to do and a title to take and sisters to protect, but not a life to enjoy. It was his duty, and that simply did not come with an invitation to find any pleasure in it.

Against all odds, it had been the only other person to see things that way that had proven him wrong. He was enjoying what England had to offer, and he owed Beth gratitude for that every bit as much as his sisters did, more so even.

When Diana and Colin left, Samantha reappeared, seemingly partly recovered. She was pale, and carried herself gently, but she was not as unwell as she had been that morning.

“Last night was wonderful,” she said gently, “I have not enjoyed myself that much since… well, the last time you attended a party with me.”

“It was certainly necessary,” Adam nodded, “And I would love to do it again. What say you?”

“Yes, but not for a while. I do not think that I could take another night of that. I do not know how our father did it every night.”

It was as though she then realized what she had said in front of Beth, but Beth did not say anything in response. She likely knew better than to ask questions about such an admission.

“It is alright,” he said gently to his sister, “She can know.”

“He was awful,” Samantha sighed, “That is all there truly was to know about the man. I hope that, when you have children, you have boys.”

“Why?” Adam asked.

“Because, if you have girls, they will always wonder if they are good enough. For Diana and I, at least there was never any doubt. We were not. It couldn’t have been simpler than that.”

Adam turned to Beth, who seemed as though she was still considering what Samantha had said about having only boys.

“I am the only child of my parents,” she said softly, “And I know precisely how you feel. Everything had to be perfect if I were to marry into a good family. My husband would be my father’s son, after all. I was the only hope for our family, and then…”

“And then you married my brother?”

“Not exactly. They married me off to a stranger, and then he died. Then I married your brother.”

“I cannot imagine that your family is too pleased, then,” she laughed emptily.

“They hardly ever were. It was my birthright, I suppose, to be in a miserable family.”

“I could drink to that, if I did not fear that it would be the death of me.”

Adam sat back and smiled. At least Beth and Samantha had found some common ground. He was aware of Beth’s family but to no good amount. There hadn’t been any need to ask, for they would be going their separate ways soon enough, but it was then that Adam realized that he did not truly want that to happen. He liked Beth, he truly did, and if he were to be with her for the rest of his life, would that be so bad?

That is, if she had any interest in keeping him close, which he could not be so certain of.

Samantha and Graham left that evening, their children as lively as they had been throughout, and before she left Samantha hugged him tightly.

“You will have us over again soon, won’t you?”

“Of course.”

“Good, for I cannot bear the thought of another ten years passing us by.”

“That will not happen. I couldn’t do it, not anymore.”

“In which case, keep your wife close. She has been the best thing to happen to you since Diana and I.”

With a wink, she disappeared into her carriage and they all disappeared. Adam watched them go, and Beth sighed wistfully.

“What is it? Did you not enjoy hosting?”

“Oh, I did! No, I simply… I always wanted sisters. It was lonely as a child, but I’m sure you know that considering your own childhood. I am simply grateful that we can now start again, and I at last have siblings. Diana might take a while longer, but Samanta, well, she and I could be very good friends, I think.”

She was thinking of the future, and his sister was in it. Did that mean she might have left some space for him, too?