Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

B eth thought she understood her husband, but she was wrong.

He knew she wanted siblings of her own, even if she had told him that she would have rathered a brother, and yet he had hidden the fact that he was keeping one of his sisters from her. He had lied, acting as though it was a mutual decision when all along it had been his own choice. His own, selfish choice, and he had told her of it as if he had expected her to agree with him.

She left the study, but she did not know where she wished to go. What she did know was that she wanted to be alone. She allowed her body to move for her without thinking, and eventually it brought her to the garden, the cold air chilling her in an instant.

At least, she considered, she would be left alone if she was in the cold. That was what she had hoped, but she heard her husband’s footsteps behind her as she left.

“Beth, allow me to explain–”

“I do not wish to see you right now. I do not know why you have followed me, but you should not have. I do not want to speak to you.”

“I need you to listen to me. It isn’t as simple as you think it is.”

“Is it not? Because to me, you have a sister that wants to see you, and you are capable of it, and you are refusing. For all you know, she could be feeling lonely and is hoping you might care for her now that you have returned.”

“I cannot say that is the case.”

“How would you know? You met her husband in passing, and you said yourself that you hardly know the man. What if he is like my first husband, uncaring and unkind, and you are forcing your own sister to have that same life that I did?”

She thought her husband had understood just how lonely her life had been. She thought she had explained that her family did not want her, nor her husband, and that she was so grateful to finally be living in a different way, but she was wrong. He was just as uncaring.

“It isn’t like that! I might not know her husband well, but when I last saw her she was happy. They were going to have their first child, and she was perfectly content with her life. I do not wish to disrupt that, there is nothing more to it. No callousness, and no hatred. I simply think it is best if I keep away from their perfect lives when my own is anything but.”

“We must at least contact them. They do not even know you are married!”

“Enough. I will not be lectured. This is a family matter, and it is how I am choosing to handle it. It has nothing to do with you.”

“It has everything to do with me. We are family, even if it is begrudging on your part and only for a year. Then again, I don’t suppose that word means very much to you, does it?”

“I am not going to listen to your rules about this. I might bend in other aspects, but you will not instruct me on how to speak to my own sisters. It is through no fault of mine that you do not have any of your own, but you cannot lay claim to mine simply because you feel entitled to.”

Beth closed her mouth. She stiffened, looking him in the eye. She held him there with her stare for a moment, just enough time for him to think about his words, before going back into the house, pushing past him as she did.

She stormed back into the study, swiped some parchment and his ink and a quill, and went into her own room. There was a desk in there, and that was the only other thing that she required.

“Dear Samantha,

I shall start this letter by apologizing profusely. I hadn’t known that you were contacting us, and had I been privy to such knowledge I would have written to you sooner.

I suppose I ought to introduce myself. My name is Beth, and I am your brother’s wife. I apologize for the lack of titles, but it is only because I do not know anything further about you. Your letter shall be better than your sister’s at least, for I shall have to address her as “The Earl of Colton’s Sister”, which is far worse.

I do not know how else to find you other than by writing to you, and then investigating further. I’m sure that Mrs Henshaw will know where to find you. I suppose it would have been better to do that first, but I would rather have this ready to send away the moment I know more.

You should know that I am surprised by all of this as you. I was aware of you both, but I thought that you were of the same mind as your brother, and now that I know it is untrue… I do not know what to say to you other than that I wish to make it right again.

Please come to dinner with us on the 20th of October. You can bring your family, and I assure you that arrangements will be made so that we can have room for you all. I truly do wish to meet you, even if you are unsure of me. I understand if you are, after all.

I hope to see you soon, as does your brother. I know that he has made mistakes, but he truly does hope to make everything right once more.

Sincerely,

Beth Winston,

The Countess of Colton”

It was rushed, and she was not proud of it, but it had to be enough. At worst, she would receive refusals. It would devastate her, but at least it would be an answer. It was better than not knowing; anything would be.

She wrote a second, grimacing as she gave the other sister her less-than-worthy name. She took both and went looking for Mrs Henshaw, whom she found dusting in the parlor room.

“My apologies, Mrs Henshaw,” she said, “Might you know the names of the earl’s sisters?”

“That is certainly a surprising question. Why do you ask?”

“We were hoping to write to them.”

“His Lordship knows their titles,” she replied, eyeing her carefully, “Is this another half-truth of yours?”

Beth grimaced. Mrs Henshaw certainly had a point.

“Very well, you can have the truth. His sister has been writing to him. Samantha. She wrote to him today, and he burned it in front of me. I cannot bear the thought of them not speaking, and so I am trying to make that come to an end. It is the only effort that I shall be making, and should it not work then I shall not make any further efforts. I simply… I don’t want him to feel alone anymore.”

Mrs Henshaw sighed, and Beth knew that she felt the same way. It was the truth, after all. She was angry with her husband, but there was more to her actions than that. There was the hope of connection there, and she couldn’t let it slip from her simply because it wasn’t what Adam wanted. If he didn’t want his sisters, then she would gladly have them, but she couldn’t help but feel as though he truly did want to see them again.

Why else wouldn’t he have told his sisters that he wanted nothing more to do with them?

“As with last time,” Mrs Henshaw smirked, “Should this anger the earl, then I had nothing to do with it.”

“Of course.”

“Samantha Pratt is the younger sister, and the Duchess of Gloryfield. The older sister is Diana Novak, the Duchess of Abaddon. I’m sure that I can find their addresses somewhere for you.”

Beth could have embraced her housekeeper then and there.

“Oh, thank you, Mrs Henshaw! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“It is my pleasure. In truth, I have been hoping to see the three of them together again for a long time. If anything is going to work, it is this.”

“Perhaps I should rewrite my letters. They might think me abrasive.”

“Have you been to the point in them?”

“Yes.”

“And not too flattering?”

“I’ve avoided it, certainly. I should change them, I-”

“No, that is perfect. They do not take kindly to being treated like royalty, especially given their upbringings.”

“What do you mean?”

“Should they come, they can tell you themselves. Perhaps the earl might tell you, if you ask.”

Beth simply nodded, knowing that it would never be a question that she dared ask the duchesses and that she couldn’t face her husband to ask him. She was angry with him, but it was more than that. Once again, she was keeping something from him, and it did not matter that she thought it was justified. She was angry with him for exactly the same reason, was she not?

Mrs Henshaw gave her the addresses, and she wrote them onto the letters and sent them away, a wave of unease crashing over the the second she did. There was no taking it back once she had done it, and whatever came next was entirely her doing.

Perhaps that was why she did not speak to her husband for several days. It was easier not to, because if she did she would have to either lie or confess, and she didn’t know which would be harder to do.

She had sent them in a moment of anger, but three days later she had begun to regret it. She had gone against his wishes once, and he had accepted it, but a second time? He was under no obligation to forgive that, and she feared that he would not.

It didn’t matter that she was angry with him. No matter what, they were married, and she much preferred it when that marriage was happy. It had been good, wonderful even, until the moment they argued over the letter. She was furious with herself for taking things as far as she had, but there was nothing that she could do to take it back. The letters had been sent, and until she knew what they thought, she would be as clueless as she had forced her husband to be.

“Is everything alright?” Eliza asked, “You have been out of sorts for the last few days.”

“I believe I have made a grave error. I don’t know what to do, and I do not know if the earl will be able to forgive me for it. I do not know anything, it seems.”

“You know many things,” Eliza smiled, “And no matter what you have done, the earl is an understanding man. He will forgive you, so long as you apologize. What is this grave error of yours, anyway?”

“It appears that it doesn’t matter,” she sighed, “I sent letters almost a week ago, but as yet I haven’t received anything in response. Perhaps that is a sign that I haven’t made a mistake at all. Nothing at all has come from it, and so nothing bad has come from it. Shall I take that as something good?”

“That depends on what is written here,” Eliza explained, “Here, take these.”

She revealed two letters addressed to her, and Beth felt dizzy. Any comfort she felt from not receiving a response came crashing down, for there was a definitive response in front of her. She tore the first one open. It was written beautifully, and Beth laughed at herself for noticing that before anything else.

“Dear Beth Winston,

When I first received your letter, I put it to one side. I did not believe it, and I suppose that is my fault.

I haven’t heard anything from my brother in years now, but it is not as though I tried either. I thought it was better the way it was, and that he and I were happier apart. We hardly knew each other, as I’m sure you already know. My brother has more than likely already told you my sister and I’s situation as a child. It isn’t as though it was a secret; you could ask anyone in London and they would tell you.

I want to refuse your invitation, and forget that I ever received it, but I cannot bring myself to. If nothing else, I am curious as to how my brother found a wife, and what you are like. I think that alone is enough to come to see you both, but it is more than that. All of that to say, I will be there with my husband. I shall leave our children with their nanny, so as to make things easier for the both of you.

Sincerely,

Diana Novak

The Duchess of Abaddon”

It was a reluctant acceptance, but an acceptance nonetheless. Beth sighed, closing her eyes for a moment before opening the other. Surely, if one had accepted, the other would follow suit?

“Dear Beth Winston,

I am so pleased to finally receive a response!

However, it is devastating to me that it had to be you, and not my brother, who has chosen to do so. I was truly hoping that he would change his mind one day, and keep the promise that he made, but I suppose not.

Regardless, I am pleased to hear from you, and to learn of your existence! I am pleased that my brother has found someone that makes him happy, as well as someone that is willing to do the difficult thing. I must honor that, as I respect it too much not to.

It is for that reason that my family and I will attend. My children will not be too much of a handful, but we shall bring their nanny with us so that they can be taken away at a moment’s notice. I shall see you soon.

Take no notice of my sister’s letter, as it no doubt is far less welcoming than she is. We are pleased to have you as a part of our family, I assure you.

Sincerely,

Samantha Pratt

The Duchess of Gloryfield”

She was certainly the gentler sister, but that was what Beth had heard to be the case for all younger sisters. Besides, this was the sister that had been writing to him for ten years even though she hadn’t received a response. She thought about what those letters would have looked like had they been stored away rather than burned. It would have been a mountain.

Then she thought about what she would tell her husband– they were going to have visitors, and he had to know about that sooner rather than later.