Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

Lala

I felt like I might jump out of my skin.

Lord knows nothing was holding me back, since most of my flesh was already on display. I took one last look in the mirror and drew in a deep breath. I look good… No, I don’t look good. I look hot, if I do say so myself. After thirteen days of not seeing Holden, he was finally coming home today. To celebrate the occasion, I’d stopped at a lingerie store and picked up something spicy. I’d initially tried on a pretty white baby-doll nightgown, which had probably fit my personality better. But then I’d decided to go outside my comfort zone and try on something I thought Holden might like. In the end I bought a red, one-piece teddy with a tie-neck halter, side cutouts, a thong back, easy-access crotchless panties, and a quarter-cup bra top that my breasts literally spilled out of. The get-up was completed with a garter belt, fishnet stockings, and a pair of matching satin high-heel mules with whimsical faux-fur pom-poms. I couldn’t wait to see Holden’s face when he walked into his apartment and found me waiting for him like this.

Luckily, I didn’t have to wait long. Less than half an hour later, I heard a key in the lock at the front door of his place. Feeling bold in my outfit, I positioned myself leaning against the kitchen counter in the sexiest way I knew how and waited for him. My heart thumped in my chest as the door opened and Holden stepped inside. But it stopped beating when I realized he wasn’t alone...

“Oh shit,” Holden said. He spun around and smacked his hand over his bass player’s eyes.

I immediately bolted to his bedroom, though I was grateful he’d done that since I was just as naked from the back as I was the front. Mortified, I grabbed my clothes from the top of the dresser, yanked the shirt I’d worn earlier over my head, and started to tug on my jeans. They were halfway up my legs when Holden opened the bedroom door.

I closed my eyes. “Please tell me a giant hole has opened up in the center of your living room that I can go jump in.”

“Take those pants back off,” he said. “Shirt too.”

I shook my head with my eyes still squeezed shut. “I think the moment has passed. I’m so sorry. I had no idea you were bringing someone home with you.”

“He’s gone. Now take those clothes back off and let me look at you in that outfit.”

“I’m too embarrassed, Holden.”

“You have zero to be embarrassed about, sweetheart. But you do have less than five seconds to get undressed, or I’m going to do it for you.”

I finally opened my eyes. The way Holden was ogling me went a long way toward restoring my self-esteem. His eyes were dark, and there was an undercurrent of something dangerous as he bit down on his bottom lip.

I shook my head again. “I cannot believe that just happened.”

“Forget anything but right now. You have no idea how much I fucking missed you.” Holden paused and cocked his head. “Do you know how magnificent you are, waiting for me to come home dressed like that? How insanely sexy you looked?”

I have no idea how the man managed it, but I started to put what had just happened in the kitchen out of my mind and began to believe I was everything he said. The heat in his eyes made me feel so wanted. So I did as he asked and slipped out of the clothes I’d thrown on to cover up.

Holden ran a hand through his hair as he dragged his eyes up and down my body. “Jesus Christ. I’m the luckiest son of a bitch on this planet.” He shook his head. “I definitely don’t deserve you, but I’m way too selfish to give a fuck anymore.”

The air in the room crackled as Holden approached. If I’d had any doubt about whether he was only trying to make me feel better, that went out the door when I saw the bulge in his pants. It looked like his arousal was trying to escape by forcing the zipper teeth on his jeans apart.

Holden reached around to my ass with one hand and hitched me up and off my feet. My legs wrapped around his body as he took my mouth in a kiss that quickly grew out of control.

“Holy shit,” he groaned. “I can feel how wet you are through the crotch of your outfit and all of my clothes.”

“No, you can’t.” I bit down on his bottom lip and tugged. “Because this outfit has no crotch.”

“I want to tie you up. Every night for the last week, I’ve had a recurring dream of binding your hands together. But tying you up in this outfit? I couldn’t possibly have dreamed of something this good.” He pulled his head back and caught my gaze. “Are you good with that, sweetheart?”

I swallowed. “Yes.”

A wicked smile curved his lips. “Then let’s get you on that bed.”

Holden set me down on the mattress. He walked over to one of his drawers and pulled out a belt. Folding it in half, he snapped the leather together, making a loud whip-smack sound that was the most erotic thing I’d ever heard.

“Arms over your head. Clasp your hands together.”

He shook his head, staring down at me as I did what he asked. “I could look at you like this all day, sweetheart.”

Holden stripped out of his clothes, never taking his eyes from me. I grew hotter at the sight of his beautiful, tanned skin, decorated with all of his sexy tattoos. His six pack was sculpted, and his muscular arms each had a thick vein that ran the entire length of them. But when he slipped off his pants and underwear, my mouth went dry watching his thick erection bob against his stomach. He lifted a knee onto the bed and crawled up, straddling my waist as he leaned and fastened the leather belt around my wrists.

“Try to get out,” he said when he was done.

I attempted to unclasp my hands, but couldn’t.

Holden smiled. “Don’t pull too hard. The leather might chafe your skin and leave marks. I need to get something softer for next time.”

“Okay.”

He propped a pillow under my head and then looked around the room before climbing off the bed. “Give me a minute.” Inside his closet, he unhooked a full-length mirror hanging on the door, then positioned it on top of the dresser at the foot of the bed, laying it sideways.

“Can you see yourself with this angle?” he asked.

I nodded. “Part of me.”

“Which part?”

“The top half.”

He fiddled with the angle of the mirror again. “Now what do you see?”

“From my waist to my feet.”

He smiled. “Perfect. Spread your legs. I want you to watch while I eat you.”

“Uh, okay.” I was barely coherent as he climbed back onto the bed and positioned himself between my legs. Holden gently blew against my wetness, and a shiver ran from the top of my head down to my toes. His eyes blazed as he looked up at me and licked me from one end to the other.

“Oh God,” I whimpered. His tongue moved to my clit, and he sucked hard. Without thinking, I went to reach for him, forgetting that my hands were bound together, and the leather strap bit into my skin. The ache shot directly down between my legs.

Oh wow. I had no idea I liked a little pain. Holden speared his tongue inside me, and I pulled at my wrists again, this time a little harder.

I moaned. “Holden…” My orgasm was going to happen embarrassingly fast. I already felt it brewing. “Slow down…please…”

But my plea only made him go faster. Holden sucked and licked, adding two fingers as I headed over the edge. When it hit, I cried out so loud, I was pretty sure the people on the street three floors below me heard.

After, I panted as Holden climbed up my body.

His eyes sparkled. “My girl likes to be tied up.”

“I think it’s just you,” I breathed.

He brushed a hair from my face. “That’s good. Because I think it’s just you for me, too.”

***

“How’s your mom doing?” An hour later, Holden and I were lying on our sides. It was the first time we’d had any real conversation since he’d walked in the door.

I tucked my hands under my cheek. “She’s doing really well. She had a doctor’s appointment yesterday, and they said her incision is healing nicely and all her vitals are stable. She doesn’t need another check for three months now. But they’re keeping her on blood thinners, so she has to be really careful not to fall or anything because it would be hard to stop any bleeding.”

“Wow. Is the bubblewrap next door in your apartment?”

My brows dipped.

Holden smiled. “I figured you’d have ordered a shitload to wrap her up in case she bumps into anything.”

I laughed. “Trust me, I would if I could. Getting that call was one of the scariest moments of my life. I think I’m going to drive down to Philly to see her again in two weeks.”

“I’ll go with you. While you spend time with your mom, I can work on getting to know your dad as an adult. Now that you’ve told him we’re together, I think it’s important that I show him I’m not the same teenager he knew back in the day.”

It was a sweet impulse, but… “I’m not sure that’s such a great idea. I don’t think my dad is ready for that.”

Holden frowned. “Why not?”

“I don’t know. It just feels like it’s too soon.”

“Too soon after your breakup with Warren? Or too soon because you haven’t figured out if I’m really a changed person yet?”

I hated to hurt his feelings, but I needed to be honest. I bit my lip. “Maybe a little of both?”

Holden mulled that around for a minute. “Can you see a future with me, Lala?” he finally asked. “I get that it’s too soon for you to jump into anything serious, but can you see something more than just fooling around happening between us down the road?”

I placed my hands on his chest. “Holden…”

“You look like you’re afraid to answer because you don’t want to upset me. But I’d always rather have the truth from you.”

I nodded. “It’s not that I don’t want to see a future with you, but I guess I have trouble imagining what that might look like. Your lifestyle is so different from mine, and I’ve only ever seen you in that light. It’s difficult to imagine you being happy in a long-term, monogamous relationship.”

Holden looked down and nodded. “I hate that you feel that way, but I guess that’s fair. You only know the person I’ve shown you. And if I’m being honest, I’m not sure I knew there was another side of me until recently.” He lifted his eyes to meet mine. “I need to prove to you that I’m not the same guy I was. I know that won’t happen overnight, but will you give me the chance to do that? Keep an open mind?”

I’d known Holden practically all of my life, so I was pretty good at reading him. I could see his heart was in the right place. I just wasn’t so confident that he wouldn’t change his mind once the fun was over. Relationships weren’t easy, especially not ones where one of the people traveled as often as he did. Not to mention, he was a drummer, gorgeous, and women had always thrown themselves at him. I wanted more than anything to not have that doubt, but my inner self-protection mechanism was afraid. Holden Catalano was the one man who could swallow me whole and annihilate me if he spit me back out. I knew that in my bones.

But Holden was watching me and waiting for an actual answer. So I offered my best positive smile, even though my insides were laced with hesitancy. “Sure.”

***

“Oh my gosh,” I said, setting my keys on the kitchen counter the next evening when I arrived home. “I got nervous when I opened the door. I didn’t even realize it was you and thought maybe I’d walked into the wrong apartment.”

Holden was in the kitchen with three burners going on the stove. He had on a button-up cardigan sweater and slacks, and his always-wild hair was slicked back and neat. He also wore horn-rimmed glasses, though I didn’t think he had a vision deficiency. Basically, he was dressed like Warren.

He walked over and placed my slippers at my feet. “Good evening, darling.”

Darling?I squinted. “What are you up to, Catalano? Did you accidentally break something or buy some new sex toys you want to try out?”

He gave me a quick peck on the lips. “I’m not up to anything. Just wanted my lady to come home to a nice dinner after a long day of work.”

“Mmm-hmmm.”

Holden placed his hand at the small of my back and ushered me into the living room. “Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes. Would you like a glass of sauvignon blanc?”

“Sure.”

He disappeared and came back a minute later with wine. Handing it to me, he guided me to sit on the couch, then lifted my feet up onto the coffee table and slipped a pillow underneath. “Give me two minutes and I’ll join you. I just need to check on the chicken cordon bleu and saffron rice.”

I raised my brows. “Are you sure you don’t mean chicken nuggets and tater tots?”

Holden went into the kitchen and fiddled with the knobs on the stove before returning again. He took the seat at the other end of the couch, leaving a large gap between us. I might’ve been able to believe his wardrobe change was a new style, and that he was secretly a good cook, but Holden Catalano did not leave three feet of distance between us when we hadn’t seen each other all day.

“So, what do you think of the political turmoil going on in Bosnia?”

I laughed. “What?”

“You know, the threats of secession that are causing instability for the Balkan nation.”

I sipped my wine. “No, I don’t know. I guess I’m not up on my Balkan news.”

“That’s okay. What about the financial crisis? A pretty big hedge fund just warned that hyperinflation might lead to a major collapse of our economy.”

“Did you hit your head, Holden?”

“No, but I read The New York Times from cover to cover today.”

My brows raised. “From cover to cover? How long does that take?”

“About six hours.”

“Why on Earth did you spend six hours reading the Times?”

Holden shrugged. “You’re smart. I want to be able to discuss things with you.”

“You don’t need to do that. I like you the way you are, Holden.”

He shook his finger at me. “Ah… But that’s not true. You need more from me to see that I can be a good partner, and I want to show you I can give you what you need.”

Grinning, I set my wine down and crawled over to his side of the couch, lifting one knee over his legs to straddle him. Then I shimmied my hips up to sit on his crotch. “You already give me exactly what I need.”

Oddly, Holden didn’t take the bait. His face grew solemn. “I’m serious, Lala. I want to make you dinner, take you out, have meaningful conversations with you… I want to show you I can be more than just a good fuck.”

I shook my head. “That’s not all I think of you.”

He looked down at his lap where I was perched. “Sometimes it feels that way.”

I started to climb off, but Holden stopped me. “No, don’t go anywhere. Let’s talk.”

I shook my head again. “I’m sorry, Holden. I didn’t realize I was making you feel like a piece of meat. I feel bad.”

“Don’t feel bad. I understand why our relationship would be about sex. Hell, that’s the only man you’ve ever known me to be. But I meant it last night when I said I wanted more than that. I want a lot more, Lala.”

“Why?”

“Because I…” He stopped and cleared his throat. “Because I like you a lot.”

Adrenaline sparked through me. Was Holden about to say he loved me?

He pushed a lock of hair behind my ear. “Listen, sweetheart. Maybe I went too far trying to change things up this fast. But I really would like to try to shift the focus of our relationship, to show you I can be more to you than you think.”

“You are more to me than just sex.”

“Can you let me prove it to you? Do something for me?”

“Of course. What?”

“Let’s not have sex for the next two weeks.”

My eyes widened. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was astounded Holden would ever want to abstain that long, or because I wasn’t sure I could go that long myself. The man was more addicting than drugs.

“Really?” I said. “You mean no intercourse or no…everything?”

“How about we stick to kissing?”

I’d already made him feel like all he was good for was sex, so I couldn’t let on how disappointing the thought of two weeks without it sounded. So I forced a smile. “Sure. Of course. Whatever you want.”

Holden looked relieved. He leaned forward and gave me a tender, closed-mouth kiss. “Thank you.”

A minute later, he got up to serve dinner. The food he’d made was delicious, and after we ate, we snuggled together on the couch and watched an incredible movie he’d picked out. When I yawned, Holden kissed my shoulder.

“I’m gonna go. You should get some sleep.”

“You’re not going to stay?”

He sat up. “I think it’s better if I don’t.”

I pouted. “Okay.”

Holden rubbed his nose with mine. “You’re cute when you’re celibate.”

“I might turn hangry. Except the h is for horny instead of hungry.”

He laughed and stood, offering me his hand. “Come on. Walk me to the door so you can put the safety lock on.”

At the door, Holden gave me a peck on the lips.

“You said we could kiss. Can I at least get a real one?”

His lip twitched, but he hooked a hand around my neck and pulled me to him. Then hit me with a kiss so passionate, I blinked a few times when he let go.

“Goodnight, sweetheart.” He smiled.

“Uhh… Yeah. Goodnight.”

After he was gone, I leaned my head against the closed door, still reeling from that kiss. It’s going to be a long-ass two weeks.