Chapter Ten

The relief which washed over Louisa when she saw Lady Julia was so great, she felt tears spring into her eyes. "Julia. How glad I am to know you are here."

"And you are more than welcome to stay with me for this evening's soiree, should you need to," Lady Julia replied, quietly, taking Louisa's hand and squeezing it. "Are you quite well?"

Louisa nodded, trying not to let the memories of the ball rush into her mind and overwhelm her. "I have my two sisters here this evening also, of course. I must make sure to take care of them." Her lips twisted for a moment as she saw Lady Julia frown. "Father has not stepped into his responsibilities towards them despite the fact that I am now betrothed," she explained. "Though there is certainly more interest in our family now."

Lady Julia scowled. "Which will be good for them, I am sure, but not necessarily for you." She looked carefully into Louisa's face, as though trying to make certain that she truly was as well as she had said. "The ball was last week now, was it not? Have you seen him since then?"

Louisa shook her head. "And I have no desire to."

"I quite understand."

"I did see Lord Quillon again, however," Louisa continued, "and I thanked him for his kindness." Seeing how her friend's expression immediately softened, she tilted her head just a fraction. "You have been in his company again recently, also?"

A touch of color came into Lady Julia's cheeks. "We were not acquainted until he brought you to my company on the night of the ball but yes, since then, we have been in conversation a few times. I think him an excellent gentleman."

"I quite agree." A small tug of sadness on Louisa's heart made her smile sorrowfully. "Would that I could say that about my own betrothed."

Lady Julia's frown returned. "You are still going to marry him?"

Spreading out her hands, Louisa let them fall to her sides as she sighed. "I have no other choice. If I refuse, if I end the betrothal, then all that will bring will be disaster."

Her friend's frown lingered. "And by that, you mean your sisters."

"I do."

"You cannot always think of them, you know." Lady Julia tossed her head. "It seems to me as though you are never to be truly considered, my dear friend, as though you will never have anyone truly care for you!"

"I have you." Louisa tried to smile but it was something of a sad one, her gaze tugging away as Lady Julia's words burned into her soul. That was precisely how it felt, for though Ruth was kind, neither Rachel nor Ruth were truly able to sympathize. They were both now considering what might happen to them, given that Louisa was to marry the Duke of Yarmouth – and that had come about simply because Louisa's father had given her no consideration when it came to matching her with a rogue! The Duke himself did not care one iota for her or for her feelings, that much was apparent and thus, the only person Louisa could think of who truly cared for her was her dear friend.

But even Lady Julia could not stop the match.

"I think that – "

"Lady Louisa, there you are. I have been looking for you these last few days but have not managed to find you. Might I speak with you for a few minutes?"

Louisa bobbed a curtsy, her heart suddenly twisting. "Your Grace, good evening. Might I present my friend, Lady Julia? Lady Julia, this is the Duchess of Yarmouth."

"The Duke of Yarmouth is my son," the lady clarified, as she curtsied towards Lady Julia. "A son who has brought me nothing but mortification and upset, just as he has done to you, Lady Louisa." She turned back to Louisa, her eyes holding hers. "I come to you to apologise."

"Apologise?" Louisa repeated, a little surprised. "I did not think that you had done anything wrong, Your Grace! At least, certainly not to me."

"Ah, but I have." The Duchess set a hand to Louisa's arm, her eyes still holding fast to Louisa's. "I was the one who approached your father, who asked that you become engaged to my son. Had I not done anything of the sort, then you might now be a good deal happier rather than carrying such a heavy burden of embarrassment and sorrow." She took in a deep breath and released Louisa's arm. "I thought that you would be an excellent match for my son because I have never seen anyone speak to him in the way that you did. However, I did not account for my son's selfishness and arrogance and, in that, I believe that you have been grievously injured. If there was something that I could do to free you from his arm in such a way that would not bring your family any sort of damage to your reputations, then I would do so."

Louisa, recalling that she had once wondered whether or not the Duchess of Yarmouth was as selfish as her son, felt shame bite hard at her. "Please, Your Grace, you need not feel any sort of guilt in that regard."

"Oh yes, I do." The Duchess frowned slightly. "I am fully aware of my own inconsideration. I did not think that your father would be as willing as he was to consider you as a match for my son so quickly but it appears that I was wrong in that regard. As I have been wrong in all of this, unfortunately."

Louisa's heart squeezed with a sudden sympathy for the lady. She could scarcely conceive of the burden the Duchess must bear, enduring such shame on account of her son's unseemly behaviour. That had to be something of a trial, at the very least.

"There is nothing that I can do save for trying to convince my son to end the betrothal," the Duchess continued, her eyes a little glassy now, clear emotion written there. "I know that he has expected you to be the one to do it and I greatly admire your refusal. I know that it comes from a consideration of your other responsibilities."

"How… how do you know all of this?"

The Duchess smiled, albeit a little sadly. "I am a Duchess, Lady Louisa. It does not take much for me to be able to find out whatever I wish from whomever I wish. In this situation, however, it was Lord Quillon who told me all. I understand that he is just as upset as I am over the Duke's behaviour towards you and he has, in addition, ended his friendship with him."

Surprise caught Louisa's breath for a moment. "He has?"

"Oh yes." The Duchess smiled again but it did not reach up into her eyes. "Perhaps my son will now begin to realise just how poorly he is thought of here in society and it might, though I doubt it shall, bring him to truly consider his selfishness and his arrogance. I must hope that, with myself stepping back from him also, he will end the betrothal and set you free."

"Stepping back?" Louisa blushed as the Duchess' eyebrow lifted. "Forgive me, I do not mean to pry."

"No, not at all." The Duchess laughed but it was a sad sound. "I thought I had explained myself clearly but it seems I have not." She took in a deep breath. "I am to stay elsewhere for the remainder of the Season. Thereafter, I think that I shall remove to the Dower house, even though my son is not yet married, simply because I believe that I would enjoy my own company a good deal more than the company of my son. I shall no longer pressure him to marry, shall no longer even encourage him to do so. He is free from all of that. Therefore, there can be no reason for him not to end the betrothal."

"I see." Louisa let out a slow breath, a sense of relief curling around her heart. "Then our betrothal may not stand much longer. There will be some rumours and whispers that follow, no doubt, but if the Duke is the one to end our connection, then –"

"I have no intention of ending our betrothal."

Louisa let out a gasp of surprise, whirling around to see the Duke of Yarmouth standing a little behind her, his arms folded across his chest and his brows low. Quite how long he had been standing there for, she could not say but the thought that he had been listening to their conversation was not a pleasant one.

"Are you eavesdropping?" The Duchess came to stand closer to Louisa, almost in a protective manner. "Lady Louisa and I were speaking privately."

"About me. You were speaking about me."

"As is almost half of society, so it should not come as any surprise to you." The Duchess arched an eyebrow as Louisa swallowed hard, still unsteady from the surprise of seeing him. "You say you will not end the betrothal? Why? You can have no reason not to!"

The Duke's chin lifted just a little, his gaze settling on his mother and then turning to Louisa instead. "We are just now engaged. The ton know of it and there is to be a ball thrown in our honour, is there not? I can hardly decide to end our connection before the ball and to do so thereafter would cause a great many people in society to whisper about me, would they not? And to whisper about Lady Louisa and her family and, given that her sisters are still to be wed, it would not be fair nor right for them to be affected in such a way. Thus, the engagement will stand."

The faint hope which had begun to pull into Louisa's heart immediately sank low as she took in the Duke's firm gaze, dark expression and obvious determination. She did not understand why he had decided to continue on with their betrothal when he so clearly had the opportunity to free himself from her. This explanation made very little sense, coming from a gentleman who had never given any real thought to the ton nor to his reputation beforehand. Why should he do so now?

"You do not care about my sisters," she found herself saying, the bluntness of her manner seeming to surprise the Duke given the way his eyes rounded. "You did not even listen to me when I first expressed my reasons for refusing to end our betrothal – in fact, you dismissed all that I said and practically berated me for considering them and my own standing! And yet now, you appear to be standing here and informing me that my two sisters – sisters that you do not know the names of, no doubt – are a consideration when it comes to our engagement?" She shook her head. "Forgive me, but I do not think that I believe your words to be true."

The Duke grimaced. "And yet, I find that I care very little as to whether you believe me or not, Lady Louisa. This is what I have decided and this is what shall be."

"Can you do it, then?" When the Duke frowned at her question, Louisa tried to explain herself again. "Can you tell me the names of my sisters?"

The frown the Duke wore dug all the more deeply into his forehead. "Their names are irrelevant to me. You are right to say that the ending of our betrothal would affect them."

Louisa did not know what to say, her mouth falling open in shock, though she shut it quickly. This was not the Duke of Yarmouth, not as she knew him! Why was he pretending now to be so considered, so caring over her two sisters and, in doing so, refusing to end his engagement to her? It was so simple for him to do, for if he ended it, then the ton would think poorly of him rather than of her and given how much stain his reputation already wore, what difficulty would that be for him to bear a little more?

"You are much too confusing, Yarmouth." For the first time in some minutes, the Duchess spoke up, though her voice was soft now, filled with the very same confusion that Louisa herself felt. "I give you the chance to break your engagement, I tell you that I will no longer berate you for your lack of responsibility in this matter and instead of accepting that and joyfully breaking the connection between Lady Louisa and yourself, you determine to continue on with it? To marry?"

"Yes, I do. And I shall." The Duke sniffed, then looked to Louisa. "Might we take a turn about the room, Lady Louisa? And perhaps, we should also stand up to dance."

Everything in Louisa pulled back from him as she shook her head. "I shall not dance with you, Your Grace. Not after what you did to me the last time we stood up."

The Duke inclined his head. "I give you my word, I shall not do the same thing again. I shall be the most perfect gentleman that has ever graced the floor."

Louisa shook her head again. "I do not believe you."

"Please." The Duke took a step closer to her, his eyes searching her face and, for what was the very first time since the beginning of their conversation, Louisa saw something else there in his eyes. It was not the arrogance she had expected, nor the boldness which he carried about himself. Instead, there seemed to be some sort of desperation in the way that he looked at her, in the way the edge of his voice curled up as he spoke.

"Please, Lady Louisa. Let me prove to you that I shall not do such a thing again," he said, moving closer to her again. "I see that what I did in stepping away and leaving you alone was very wrong indeed. It must have been mortifying for you."

"Which was precisely what you wanted."

The Duke shut his eyes tightly, his jaw flexing for just a moment. "Yes." The word came out heavy, as though he had to force himself to say it. Opening his eyes, he took a third step closer to her and Louisa shivered lightly, a little unwilling still to be near him. "I will not do such a thing again."

He is asking me to trust him. The realization made her want to laugh aloud for what sort of gentleman would do such a thing after behaving as he had done? Was she truly to believe that, this time, he would not treat as he had done before, simply because he said he would not? "Is this not yet another ploy to try and embarrass me, Your Grace?" she asked, as the Duke shook his head. "Is this not another way for you to bring me so much shame, I will do whatever I must to end our betrothal?"

"I need not do such a thing any longer." The Duke gestured to his mother and, frowning, Louisa glanced to her. "My mother will not push me into matrimony any longer, that much she has said. There is no reason for us to remain connected and yet, I have decided not to end our betrothal."

"Perhaps you do not want the ton to continue to think poorly of you. In ending the engagement, they would add another stain."

The Duke's lip curled. "Stain upon stain."

Louisa tilted her head just a little, looking at him. This was all most peculiar, all very strange indeed and yet there was something about the way he spoke and the desperation that she saw in his expression that made her want to believe him, albeit with a good deal of caution.

"I confess that I do not understand him, so I cannot give you any advice." The Duchess's eyes sharpened as she looked at her son. "Though all the same, I would be careful."

"Mother, please." Casting an angry look towards her, the Duke shook his head. "I know that you have every reason to be frustrated with me but I am being truthful here. I understand that you may not be able to accept that nor believe it but, for the first time in a long time, I am being entirely truthful."

Louisa swallowed tightly, looking from the Duchess to the Duke and back again. "I – I will walk with you, Your Grace," she said, after a few moments of consideration. "The dancing, however, will have to wait. I cannot bring myself to step out with you again and I pray that you will not force me to do so."

Both of the Duke's eyebrows leapt up at once. "I should never force you, Lady Louisa."

"Nor coerce me?"

At this, the Duke's head dropped instantly, his gaze falling to the floor. Louisa was surprised to see him appear so shamefaced but quickly reminded herself that the Duke was a gentleman who would try to garner whatever he could from whomever he wanted in whatever way he chose! That did not mean that this show of regret was in any way genuine but might very well, in fact, be nothing more than a show.

"I will not coerce you." Taking in a deep breath, the Duke lifted his head. "I will not coerce you, I swear it. I give you my word."

"Which means nothing to her, I hope you understand?"

The Duke closed his eyes again as the Duchess' words hit him. Louisa said nothing, however, watching as the Duke's expression grew pained, clearly a little upset with what his mother had said to him. Or was it just an act?

"I am aware it means nothing at present," he said, eventually, his voice rasping with what sounded like a heavy weight of emotion. "But I have nothing else to offer."

Louisa considered, taking in all that he had said and though she felt herself reluctant, chose instead, to step forward and take the Duke's arm. "I will not change my mind about the dancing this evening," she explained, looking up into his face. "I may not change my mind about it in the days or weeks to come! I am afraid, Your Grace, that I have no trust in you whatsoever. I do not say this to pain you but it is the truth and I will never shy away from that. I cannot tell whether you are serious in what you say or if you intend to do something all the more dreadful to me in order to force my hand."

The color pulled itself from the Duke's face as he looked at her, giving her a nod and pulling his eyes from hers. Louisa, all the more astonished at his pallor, said nothing but, with a nod of thanks to the Duchess – who was watching her son with slightly narrowed eyes – permitted him to lead her away and back out onto the floor. Whether he would prove himself to do and to be all that he had said, Louisa did not know, but in her mind, she highly doubted it would be so.