7. Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should

7

JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN, DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD

WORK SONG, HOZIER

Manny

Saved by the ring. That’s what I’m calling what just happened. Cara is stunning, funny, kind, and loyal. Growing up around her gave me an appreciation for true friendship like nothing else. Not that I would consider her a close friend, but she’s best friends with Allie and we got friendly by default. I’ve always known how gorgeous she is and when I was sixteen, she was the only girl I could see. It was so bad, Gus joked all the time that I had a thing for older women. Cara is not even two years older than us so he can chill, but yeah.

Through the years that crush never went away. But rather than being mature and doing something about it, I decided to bother her and do anything to get a rise out of her instead. Her cheeks get all flushed when she’s annoyed and I love nothing more. However, whatever that moment was in there, and whatever has been happening every time I touch her recently, has got to stop. I can’t be going on a road trip with my sister’s best friend and constantly wondering—what she would look like screaming my name, what she would look like with my dick buried inside her pussy. Constantly wondering if she tastes as good as she smells. Questioning if her blushing throughout today was because of her annoyance or because she felt the same spark.

Part of me thinks it is the latter; that Cara felt the connection we’ve always shared and that I wish it was more. I do know for a fact the physical attraction I’ve always had is rising again and my dick thinks the same, considering that it’s hard against my jeans. I could go out and bring a girl home to take this edge off but I don’t think it would work. Right now, all I can think of are green eyes and soft blonde waves falling on pretty curves. Waves of hair that would look damn good over the charcoal sheets covering my hotel bed. And against the wall in my bathroom. And bent over my desk. Que maldito desastre. ? 1

I drop my wallet on the desk in the hotel room and walk into the bathroom, undressing as I go, leaving the clothes on the floor. I’ll get to work planning out my week after I handle the dick issue.

I turn the water on in the shower, making it as hot as possible because if I’m about to jerk off at the thought of my sister’s friend, I might as well suffer a little too. There are so many things wrong about it, but damn it, it doesn’t feel like it right now. Right now all I want to do is get some relief and hopefully get it out of my system.

The bathroom is steamy. Small droplets of water fall slowly on the tile walls. The mirror’s completely fogged, hiding the reflection. Like it also knows how fucked up this situation is. I step into the fogged glass shower under the scalding hot water, my skin tightens under the spray. It’s too hot, but not as hot as my thoughts right now. I lean back on the wall, letting the water fall on my body as I grab my hard aching dick. It’s been fighting with me all day, and the time has finally come.

My hand grabs the tip and I slowly slide it back, gripping it with slight force down to the base. I repeat the movement until I can feel pre-cum on my fingertips. I increase the tempo and close my eyes, but all I can see is Cara’s smile. All I can hear is her voice. All I can think about is how she would feel. It doesn’t take long after that for me to explode. I let out a guttural grunt and ask myself how I’m going to get out of this mess. As I shower, I hope that this will be enough and that I can go back to not thinking about bending Cara over the nearest surface every time she walks by me.

I’m sitting on the hotel bed with my computer on my lap when my phone lights up with a FaceTime call from Gus. We talk most days; sometimes it’s about work and sometimes it’s about life. I guess when you’ve shared everything with someone from the womb, it makes it hard to live completely independent lives. Add that to the fact that we own this company together and there’s always something we need to talk about. His face lights up on the other side of the phone and I nod to him.

“Keloke? 2 manin,? 3 ” Gus says on his side of the line. He’s wearing a suit and his hair looks put together, so that means he’s either coming back from somewhere or is about to leave to go out.

“Aqui tu sabe, leyendo correos y viendo como voy a dividir el tiempo en este viaje con Cara.? 4 ”

“You don’t have to worry about work, manin. This shit, this empire we built? It runs on its own. You have to let it, Manny, or it’s gonna eat you alive, man,” he says.

“Lucia and everyone else who called me today disagree, Gusti. I don’t want to let people down—they expect me to do things,” I retort, rubbing my face and shaking my head.

“When was the last time you went on vacation? Let me answer that for you. Years. You took a weekend away a few months ago, and then you took a week off three years ago when you had the flu. That’s it. You’ve earned this vacation, so take it.”

“Esa mierda se va echar a perder sin mi, Gusti,? 5 ” I say, now more annoyed than anything.

“If our company collapses because you take three weeks off, then we did something wrong. Go to sleep and enjoy the time away. Learn something from Cara; she lives carefree enough for two people. You could use some of that in your own life.”

“Adios. Hey, call Allie and check on her, okay?” I ask.

“Okay, don’t call Lucia to check on the company. Bye.”

He hangs up and I set my phone and my laptop on the nightstand. Tomorrow’s another day to finish reading those emails. Right now, I need to get as much sleep as possible to be ready for whatever craziness Cara has planned.

I make it to Cara’s place before she has a chance to pick me up. I know she’s an early riser—she always has been. When we were kids, I would always find her playing by herself in the living room of whatever vacation home we were in, or hiding in the kitchen snacking on something before everyone else was awake—so I know she’s up. I knock on her door and before I’m done with my third knock, Cara opens the door with a big swing and the first thing I notice is the huge smile on her face.

Her hair bounces with her, not at all being held down by the bandana with orange dots that she has on top of her loose waves, as she moves up and down clapping and making a squeaky scream. She has a slew of bracelets on her arm in orange, pink and teal and one of those old-style shirts with a washed-out bus that looks just like hers.

After she’s done with the most adorable jumps, Cara throws herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! I don’t think I’ve even said that once in the past two days. But this morning I finally realized that you’re making my dream trip come true and I’m so grateful. Gracias Manuel, gracias, gracias, gracias!”

I hold her close to me and I really don’t want to let her go because she feels incredible against me, and she smells like sweet summer days. Her hair is so soft against my cheek and neck and I’m not sure if it’s her shampoo or what, but she smells like a lemon blueberry scone.

“Alright, alright,” I say as she steps back into her house. I drag my suitcase with me—I had Lucia pack it for me since I didn’t come prepared for three weeks of travel—and set my weekender bag on top of it. She has a suitcase and a couple of bags by the couch too, all pastel colors of course.

“I’m just doing one last sweep and then we can go. I do need to take the key to Colleen before we head out.”

“You got it, Carita,” I reply and lean against the wall. I check my phone, and I don’t have any emails or phone calls from work, which is weird. I send a quick text to Lucia before putting my phone in the pocket of my jeans.

Me: All good over there? Send me an update when you can.

It’s early, I know that, but emails are usually flooding my phone by 6:00am every day. I’m not waiting for her to reply; I said I was going to try and relax so I will. This is why I’m here wearing slacks, a T-shirt, and a baseball cap on a Saturday in June. Relaxed Manuel activated.

She tries to grab her bags, but I look at her and order, “Don’t, I’ll be back to get those. You, my darlin’, worry about yourself.”

“I can take my own bags, Manny.”

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should, sunshine. Just come on, let’s get this into that vibrant bus of yours.”

“Fine,” Cara huffs before walking toward her bus. She slides the door open for me, allowing me to set our suitcases in.

“Well thank you, my lady,” I say, adding a bow and winking at her.

She rolls her eyes and says, “You’re so annoying, let’s go.”

Cara waits for me to get the rest of the bags, locking the door of the house behind me. I think she’s following me out but when I turn around, I find her with her forehead against the door, eyes closed. The breeze is blowing gently, taking her hair with it, and making the moment seem serene. Holy. I feel bad even witnessing it, especially when she brings her hand up to the door, her palm flat against it as she whispers, “Thanks for the memories.”

She turns around with her eyes still closed and lets out a soft sigh before snapping her eyes open and finding my gaze on her. “Have you never said thank you to a place that saw you grow? Because this—” she points at her place “—was more than a place to live,” she heaves, and that’s when I realize she thinks I might be judging her.

“I’ve never been in the same place for more than a couple of years. That was just beautiful,” I admit, and Cara softens, lowering her shoulders and relaxing her brows. “The only thing that has seen me grow, grows with me,” I wink at her, trying to lighten the mood. She scoffs and walks toward the bus.

I get in the driver seat, putting the keys in the ignition and cranking the motor up after I shut the door next to me. I’m still not over the realization that this is what I’m going to be driving around for the next three weeks. Cara’s fidgeting in her seat, clearly uncomfortable about something and I can bet money is because we’re about to go on this trip and she’s not the one controlling it all. Yes, she has the itinerary—but I’m the one behind the wheel and this, after all, is her baby.

I place my hand over her bouncy leg and ask softly, “So where are we going first?” I want her to let her know even though I’m driving, it’s her call. She’s the one in control.

“After Colleen’s? Matthiessen State Park,” she replies, and I add the coordinates to my phone.

“We’re only two hours away from there; are you sure this is the first stop you want to make?” I ask, pulling out of the parking lot. She has her journal from last night open in her lap, with a list of things to do on each stop carefully drafted across the pages.

“Yep, this is one of my favorite places and I want to start our trip there. Now, Manny,” Cara adds, pulling her phone from her bag and connecting it to the stereo. “Any particular song you’d like to add to the playlist?” She smiles at me and wiggles her eyebrows, and I do the only thing that I can in this moment—laugh. I have to laugh so I don’t keep thinking about this adorable woman sitting next to me; how we’re about to spend three weeks together, without anyone else, and I’m not sure if I’ll make it without trying to kiss her or touch her. Yo nada más que me jodí ? 6 .

1 ? Que maldito desastre: What a fucking disaster

2 ? Keloke: Commonly used in the Dominican as a what’s up or hello

3 ? Manin: slang for brother or bro

4 ? Here just reading emails and trying to figure out how I’m supposed to split this time with work and Cara.

5 ? That shit’s gonna go bad without me

6 ? Yo nada más que me jodí: I’m so fucked.