8. Jumping Deer

8

JUMPING DEER

MILES ON IT, MARSHMELLO FT. KANE brOWN

Cara

Stop 1: Matthiessen State Park

For the past hour we’ve been on the way to the park to see the waterfalls, riding in comfortable quiet. Taylor Swift dominates the playlist with a sprinkle of other pop songs and some Wisin as Manny’s standing, taking it all in with his hands on his hips, I grab my phone and snap a picture. Putting my phone away, I get the picnic blanket out of the backpack and lay it on the ground. We have the perfect view of Giant’s Bathtub Falls and as its name says, it looks just like a tub. I sit, grabbing a couple of juice boxes from the bag, and wait for Manny to notice.

I wait to say anything because I’ve never seen him so in tune with what’s going on around him. His shoulders are not as tense as they usually are, and he hasn’t checked his phone once. That’s also a first. He’s been walking and watching. Taking it all in. His dark green shirt is tight against his arms, and it stretches across his back showing off his muscles. For someone who works as much as he does, his body is book-boyfriend-worthy. All chiseled, like a sculpture. He knows it too because every chance he gets, he flexes his arms or lifts his shirt to tap his abs. He’s so damn confident, and sometimes, I just want some of that for myself.

He finally turns around and when he sees me, he smiles at me a moment before speaking. “Cara, this place is beautiful.” He sits next to me, putting his backpack down and taking the juice from me. He raises his eyebrows at the Capri Sun, and I have no other choice but to smile back.

“The taste of a five-year-old, remember?” I say, popping a grape into my mouth. I brought a snack tray in my cooler backpack, and it was the best decision. Because even though it’s not really lunch time yet for regular grown-ups, I’m still on an internal school schedule and our lunch tends to be early, so I’m starving.

“I didn’t know you liked hiking this much,” Manny admits, grabbing some vegetables and holding them in a napkin.

“Do you want the long story or the short?” I ask, hoping he says short because I don’t know if I truly want to go into full detail…but also secretly hoping he does say long because he’s a great listener.

“Long, always.” He smirks and I throw a grape at him.

“Grow up, Manny.”

“You’re the one eating a ham and cheese Lunchable with a Capri Sun, and you want me to grow up?” he adds, shaking his head. He lays down on the blanket and puts his arm behind his head. His arm flexes just right to show how well the shirt hugs it—making me almost drool. The story, Cara, the story.

I clear my throat and explain, “When Allie and I moved to California, most of the people our age wanted to party all the time, but your dear sis was mourning after losing Jake. She wouldn’t talk to anyone. So, at first, I did try to go to parties and do what everyone else was doing, but it just wasn’t all that fun when I was constantly worrying about her. I started reading on ways to cope with loss, because even though he was alive, she did lose him. One of the things I found was that being in nature helps.” I stop talking and eat some crackers and cheese, closing my eyes and letting it all in. The memories, the hardships, the moment we’re in now and everything in between.

“She of course didn’t want to go anywhere, and bugs scare her half the time so I would take her on little outings to spend time outside. She was okay with it and eventually she started enjoying going out with friends—dinners and small gatherings. Those are my jam too. So of course I was happy, but I realized that I missed being outside more than I thought. I was reading a book about the benefits of nature on mental health and found that for some people medicine and exercise makes them happy; for me it’s this.”

I wave my arms around, gesturing to the world around us, and lay down next to him. He tilts his head toward me and smiles. I return it and add, “With dirt under my toes and the sun above my head, I’ll be as happy as I can be for the rest of my life. It recharges me. A few years ago, I found a yearly challenge where people try to spend at least one thousand hours outside in a year and I’ve been trying to hit that goal ever since.”

“Like a sunflower,” he says. His eyes sparkle as he searches mine. Dark and haunting, calling me to him.

“Wh—what?”

“You’re like a sunflower; you need your feet on the ground and your face toward the sun.” Manny brings his hand to my eyebrows, smoothing them. I hadn’t noticed I was frowning, but he did, and judging by his expression he doesn’t like it. “No need for that frown on your pretty face. I was just echoing what you said.”

I hadn’t noticed how close we are. Now I’m acutely aware of his feet near mine, barely touching but still there. His eyes—oak brown just like the trees behind him—are focused just on me. And his scent, spicy but almost sweet, engulfs me completely. I drop my gaze to his lips but lift it back up to his eyes and when I find nothing but kindness in them, I snap out of it. He’s Allie’s brother, Cara. He’s your friend and he’s just being kind.

I clear my throat and lay on my back. Closing my eyes and letting the sun warm my face hoping to blame the blush I’m surely sporting on the sun and not to the fact that I’m attracted to Manuel Zabana way more than I knew and definitely more than I should be.

“Cara, Cara.” A distant voice says, and at the same time, soft hands touch my shoulder. I open my eyes and see Manny’s face right in front of mine. Looking around, looking as dumbfounded as I feel, I notice we’re in the same picnic spot, but now there are some people standing near the water, and the sun has gone down a little. Not enough for it to be sunset, but definitely enough to let me know that I fell asleep.

I look back at Manny and smile before saying, “Well, good morning to you, too.”

He chuckles and gives me his hand, pulling me up to sit. “I wish I could tell you it was still morning but that would be a lie. We both fell asleep, Cara. Out here, in the wilderness.”

Wilderness. I chuckle at that. “What better place to take a nap than surrounded by all this beauty?” I tease, bringing my knees up to my chest and laying my head on top of them.

“You do that often, sunshine? Fall asleep surrounded by nature?”

“Often enough that I’m not worried about it anymore, Manny. There’s something about the sound of the water falling and the birds chirping. The soft breeze that carries the trees and flowers’ scent. Nature below me and nature above me—that’s where I want to spend my days.”

He looks at me with wonder. I know it comes as a shock to him, especially growing up in the fast paced family he did, but I just don’t want that for myself. I want slow days under the sun. Coffee early in the morning outside while the world sleeps and nature awakens. I want to count stars and catch fireflies.

“Did you add that into your bucket list?” he asks and I look at him confused. Did I say that out loud?

Manny smirks. “Counting stars and catching fireflies, did you add that to your list?” I did, I did say it out loud.

“Ha, no, I do those things often. And in Baker, it’ll be even easier. Why?” I ask him .

He takes a deep breath and touches his forehead. Bringing his hand through his hair and back in front of him. “Can I add things to this road trip bucket list? Because I’ve never done any of those.”

I bring my legs down and into a butterfly pose, perk my chest up and say, “You’ve never counted stars, Manuel Zabana? Not even when you were trying to woo girls into dating you in high school?” I wiggle my eyebrows at him and he smirks. Before he speaks, I know the snarky remark is coming. I can feel it.

“When you’re trying to build an empire, there’s no time for stargazing. And I didn’t have to woo anyone with stars, Carita. I am the star.” He looks up when he says that, throwing his fist in the air like he won something.

I roll my eyes at that and laughing softly, I say, “Alright, hotshot, let’s clean this mess up.”

We pack up our stuff in silence and start hiking back toward the van. I can’t believe he’s never stopped for one second to look for stars or to catch bugs. To appreciate what’s around him. Now, I’m adding to my list to make sure Manny writes his own too. I just need to get him to let me.

I had it in my plans to head toward Ohio today so we can explore for a few days but there’s a cool place nearby that I would love to take him. Perfect place for stargazing and getting lost with nature. I pull out my phone, and call to see if there’s availability, and when they tell me they have one spot left I take it.

“Where to next?” Manny asks as we put our bags in the back of the van.

“Camp Aramoni, please.” I climb onto the front seat and we head out in that direction.