32. I’m Going to Kill Him

32

I’M GOING TO KILL HIM

LATCH (ACOUSTIC), SAM SMITH now I want you to listen to what I’m saying too. I know you hear me, but can you listen?”

If there’s something I learned at a young age it’s how to do exactly that: listen. And I do, loud and clear. I know her choices were never respected before and I want to do that. I want to respect everything. Every boundary and every limit.

So I say, “Okay.” Maybe she doesn’t need saving from him, just listening ears and a hand to hold, and I can be both even if I can see her physically getting ill over this whole situation.

“I’m going to run to the potty real quick and then I’ll be back and we can finish dancing, okay?” she asks, standing up and squeezing my shoulder. When I nod, she smiles at me and walks away disappearing behind the narrow hallway that leads to the bathroom. I hit my fist on the table and shake my head. I know she’s not okay, I know it. How does one balance in the line between respecting her wishes and protecting her? How do I show her that I would kill for her if I have to but that I also respect her wishes, no matter how bad I want to do the opposite?