Chapter Twenty-Seven

Shelby

Life settled into a holding pattern after Carter left. There was a pall over all of us, though I couldn’t pinpoint why.

Most nights, I stayed with River and Rain, but sleep was all we did. From the day after the big blow-up, all four of them were kept conveniently busy and out of the lodge to the point that I barely saw Gavin or Blake in more than passing. Each time, they looked tired, nearly haggard, so I waited on some sign that they’d welcome my company. I was afraid to take the initiative and push the issue. I’d break if even the small amount of trust I'd put in them turned out to be a manipulation to gain my compliance. Would they ditch me just on Carter’s say-so?

After his warning about relationships, I just didn't know what to do. Everyone else gave me a wide berth, but I could feel something building intrinsically, a knowing that something was going to come to a head and change my life forever, again. So it was a surprise when Gavin told me he was taking me out for the afternoon.

“We’re leaving the property?” I asked, both excited to do so and to spend more than two minutes with Gavin, but then I hesitated. “I don’t have another medical appointment, do I?”

Gavin laughed, shaking his head at my sudden caution. “No, nothing like that. I told you, I wanted you to take up a hobby. After… things , I decided to pick for you.” He winced a little before forging on. “If you hate it, you can pick something else, but I’d like you to try it first.”

I raised a brow at his caginess before nodding. If nothing else, I’d go along with it just to get out of there.

***

Gavin

I could all but feel the distance growing between me and any chance I might have with Shelby. It didn’t matter how quickly we worked, neither Blake nor I could keep ahead of Carter’s sudden demands. We knew it was a ploy to keep us away from the woman he perceived as his even though he didn’t deserve her. Neither did she deserve whatever Hamilton had in mind for her. They could both go to hell.

What Carter didn’t know was that I had River and Rain laying the groundwork to get her out of the country until it was safe for her to return one day. I couldn’t let her go without knowing how to protect herself though, and we wouldn’t be there to rescue her if need be, as much as it pained me to admit that.

So I made the time to handle it and swore to myself I’d keep it professional. I should have known nothing ever went to plan where our broken girl was concerned.

“Are you taking me to an empty warehouse to find out all of my secrets?” she teased, looking over at me after we parked in the dilapidated lot. “You could have skipped the drive and had Dimitri make that cheesy pasta if that’s the case.”

She was keeping it light, but I could sense her wariness. I didn't like that she felt uncomfortable being alone with me.

“Not quite, but I'll text him and have him make you some more.” I had pulled out my phone to do just that when she turned ten shades of red and shook her head.

“Gavin, don't you dare! I don't need special treatment.” Her admonishment was all the cuter when she reached out without hesitation to stop me.

We both froze with her hand gripping mine. I glanced down at hers, smaller and pale, against my larger, tanned, and work-roughened one.

“Sorry,” she rasped, yanking it back. “I didn't think.”

That admission got a genuine smile from me. “I'm glad you didn't—think, that is. I'd like to believe that means you trust me at least a little.”

She studied me, that whiskey-brown stare pinning me in place until she slowly nodded. “I think I just might.” Clearing her throat, Shelby gestured to the building. “Should we?”

I didn't want to break the spell of whatever was happening there in the front seat of my car, but we were on a timetable.

“Yeah, we should,” I said after a few seconds of silence then got out of the car to go around to her door. “It should all be set up, so we just have to go in.”

“Right,” she drawled, pulling her brows down as she pursed her lips. “And what, may I ask, are we doing?”

I held my arm out for her to take, pushing the bubble of pride down when she accepted it. “You'll see when we get in there. It's a surprise.”

We made our way in, the clang of the door shutting behind us echoing down the hall. Shelby's little hand tightened on the crook of my elbow, but I only reached over to pat her hand. The next turn had us coming out into an open area. She stopped once she could see the whole of the empty shooting range. I looked down at her, hoping she wouldn't be pissed that my surprise was more for my peace of mind than her.

“Uh, Gav,” she said. A thrill shot down my spine at the shortening of my name. “I'm not sure I like guns.”

Shifting to look at her, I gauged her uneasiness and decided to push.

“Most people don't, but I want you to know how to use one.” When she looked like she was going to refuse, I played dirty. “Please? What if I told you that Blake and the cousins helped get me the free time to bring you down here? Besides, I printed out special targets. You need to at least put a few holes in them.”

To be honest, I wasn't sure how she'd handle the pictures, but I'd wanted to try anyhow.

“Fine, but only because everyone went to all the trouble.” She bit her lip and scuffed the tip of her shoe against the concrete floor before peeking back up at me. “Thank you for the surprise.”

I barely kept a straight face as I nodded. She wouldn't understand if I laughed, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but the woman was polite to the point of pain when she wasn't pissed or traumatized.

“You're welcome. Now, let's get you geared up.”

As predicted, she'd initially balked at the pictures of her dead abusers, as well as Carter and Winston Sr., but after I talked her into giving it a try, she filled the targets’ heads and chests with holes. Except for Carter, Dirk, and Milo, who all also sported multiple groin shots.

“Damn, girl, maybe I shouldn't have tempted you. You sure you haven't done this before?”

“No,” she muttered with that ever-present blush, “but I was pretty good at archery in highschool. Aiming is aiming. Just don't ask me to clean them. I'm not that comfortable.”

I raised my brows at the candid drop of information. She’d rarely opened up or allowed us insight into her life before Dirk. Did this mean she'd begun to truly trust us? It was going to suck letting her go.

I cleaned up, storing the firearms and pulling the targets in before putting them in an envelope for her to do what she would with them. Hell, I didn't care if she hung them on the wall and threw darts at them. I'd patch the holes with pride.

It was when I turned that I caught her staring. I knew I was only going to break my heart by addressing that it wasn’t me she wanted, but Carter, yet I couldn't let it go.

“Shelby?” I called out, stepping forward when she started to turn away. I didn’t expect her to also step into me, leaving little space between us. “Why do you look at me like that?”

***

Shelby

Lost in the moment, his gray-ringed blue eyes staring right through me, I didn't hear him the first time. But I felt his breath whisper against my lips when he repeated himself. “Why do you look at me like that?”

Realizing I had no logical excuse to be so close, I quickly drew back. “I have to remind myself you're not him,” I whispered, the lump in my throat making it hard to get out.

“Him as in Carter?” Gavin was quick to guess, so I imagined it was a common occurrence to be mistaken for the other man. At my shaky nod, his gaze softened. “I figured as much, but I wanted to make sure. Is that why you act as if you don't like me sometimes?”

My mouth went dry, but I forced out a denial. “I don't dis like you, Gavin. I just can't always remember you're not him when I'm startled.”

Brows knit together, he thought about it for a moment. When he looked up, his gaze was earnest.

“Hit me.” I balked at his demand, shaking my head, but when I tried to back away, he shifted to box me in. “I mean it, Shelby. What will make you feel better? What will make you let yourself give me a chance?”

“I'm not going to punish you for Carter's misdeeds,” I hissed, annoyed that he'd suggest it.

“I can't take you flinching away from me anymore. If it will help you, I'll let you do it.”

“I wasn't—is that what you just thought?” He nodded and looked down. “Gavin, no, I was uncomfortable that I was all but up against you uninvited.”

His head shot up as he blinked in disbelief. “You're worried about invading my space?” I nodded. “Not because you're afraid of me ?” I shook my head. “I think I've stuck my foot in it,” he said with a rueful grin.

I laughed in agreement but wasn't really feeling it. “I know you and Carter are two different people, Gavin. I don't want to hit you. I kinda wanna do the opposite, if you must know.” I held up a hand to keep him from opening his mouth. “I'm not afraid of you, not really afraid of Carter either, but of what he let happen. I'm afraid to make a mistake again, and I don't know that I can trust my judgment.”

“Shelby, you don't have to—”

Tears filled my eyes as I shook my head and cut him off. “You don't understand. He let them hurt me, and then… Then he did it, too, after Dirk threatened him. The disgust on his face when he looked at me, an-and then he told me to go clean up and—” Struggling to breathe, I couldn't finish, but Gavin reached out to pull me close, ignoring my flinch. I melted into his chest while he rubbed circles on my back until I settled down to the occasional hiccuping sob. “I'm sorry. Seeing them, it brought up a lot.”

“Don’t be—sorry, that is. I have to admit that was a concern.” His voice hardened as he continued. “Carter is a bastard. He never should have touched you in the first place, no matter what Dirk tried to hold over his head.” I stiffened in his hold. I didn't want to have that discussion, but something in the way he said it tickled my suspicions.

Voice raspier than usual from my crying, I whispered, “In the first place, like before I met Dirk, or after I got married?”

Exactly how much did he know? My head was too muddled to remember everything I'd said or done around them.

Gavin shifted back and used a finger to tip my tear-stained face up to his. “I don’t want to upset you further.”

“If you're only going to keep me in the dark, I'd like to leave, please.” I couldn’t abide more secrets, not when I was being asked for so much more.

“Carter knew—” He paused, but I was certain he had been going to say something else than what he came out with. “Carter knew better. Dirk hated him, which wasn't a secret, to be clear, and he… He just knew better.” His misery at having to explain stood out, but I was glad it aligned with what Carter had said. I didn’t think Gavin would lie to me for Carter’s benefit, not anymore. “I'm sorry. You deserve more than what I can say.” He stepped back to gesture toward the hall, honoring my wish to leave.

I felt like it would be wrong to stop there, though, like I was losing a chance I didn't know I had. It fed back into that uneasy anticipatory whatever that had been hanging over me for the last week.

“Would you consider yourself a reasonable man?” I asked, throwing caution to the wind.

“I suppose so…”

“Good, then drop it.”

I arched my brow when he sputtered, “Wait, what?”

“I'd like to consider myself a reasonable woman, so, here we are, two reasonable people. I have my own baggage. I don't need to deal with yours too.”

The shock on his face would have been comical if it wasn't such a sore topic.

“Shelby, are you okay?” he asked tentatively, like I was a wild, wounded animal about to turn on him.

“What?” I snorted. “Surprised I have a backbone?”

“I– Yes? No. Maybe?” He shook his head, and I gave him time to gather his thoughts. “You were so…not you when—” He shrugged. “I don't know how to say it without sounding like an ass or making less of it.”

I took pity on the idiot since I could understand the whiplash that my mood swings caused. I had to live in my own head after all. “Once upon a time, I had plenty of backbone, hope, all the things nineteen-year-olds generally have, even if my mother wasn't the…best. I mean, I had to have had something to go back to some hot guy's hotel room, right?”

“You and Carter. When you were together before you met Dirk.” He wasn't really asking, but I answered him anyway.

“Yeah, the only time I deliberately went against what I was told, except for when I met Dirk.” My voice was wistful as I recounted that night. “I knew he wasn't gonna stick around, he told me as much, but there was an instant connection. I couldn't believe we’d never cross paths again one day. We felt almost…meant to be.

“It's hard to describe, but I didn't even tell him I was a virgin. I was so hung up on him, afraid he'd be a gentleman and back out.” I blushed, remembering exactly how ungentlemanly he had behaved after he found out.

“I don't think I want to know what put that look on your face or the color in your cheeks,” Gavin said, a wan smile pulling at his lips. It only made me blush harder, earning a laugh from him. “Okay, maybe I do.” He apologized when I shook my head. “I'm just teasing, Shelby. And trying not to be terribly jealous that the man who's my family, that wears my face, met you first.”

My mouth fell open, but my voice strangled in my throat.

“It's fine. You don't have to return the sentiment. My baggage, not yours, remember?” He smiled, but it didn't reach the sadness in his eyes. “I'm gonna get you out of here,” he said suddenly, a new purpose and determination lighting him up.

“What?” I asked, my brain having trouble catching up to what he meant. What it hoped he meant. Hope could be a fickle bitch.

“When we get back. I’m- we’re already figuring out a way. You'll have to disappear. You can't contact anyone you've ever known, but I think it's doable.”

“Gavin… I don't know what to say.” On the one hand, it was for the best, on the other…I'd miss them.

He shrugged like it wasn’t the biggest thing anyone had ever attempted to do for me. I shook off the brief thought of Carter telling me to run on my wedding day. He didn't count considering he'd had ample time to warn me prior to that. “You deserve it, darlin’. You don't have to say anything.”

For once, I didn't have the urge to flinch at the endearment. Instead, I threw my arms around his waist, scared of what the future would bring and my heart hurting for what I would leave behind without ever being able to know or explore.

“Thank you,” I rasped against his chest.

I felt his chin come to rest on top of my head while I listened to the pounding of his heart in his chest. It belied the nonchalant tone he tried to force into his answer. “Of course, Shelby. We'd rather you be happy and away from here, than stay for whatever those assholes want to use you for.”

***

Shelby

Gavin hesitated as we stepped, arm-in-arm, back into the lodge. It took a second for my eyes to adjust enough to make out the two figures. One leaned against the wall with his ankles crossed, and the other, the one I was fully focused on, sat on a wingback chair with his forearms propped on his knees, staring at where Gavin and I were joined.

Surreptitiously, I slipped my free hand into my pants pocket and pressed the hell out of my panic button. Gavin’s phone buzzed in his pocket, but he didn’t do more than squeeze my arm before he released it and silenced the phone.

“Carter?” Gavin asked, surprise in his voice. “What are you doing back so soon? And with Rafe?”

My ex-lover and bodyguard looked over to his side as my brother-in-law pushed away from the wall. Rafe held out a manilla folder, not that I was about to step forward to take it.

Gavin tried to pull me behind him, his body stiff with tension, but Carter shook his head. “It's not time,” Gavin snarled.

Carter simply shrugged before getting to his feet. “It is. You fucked up, Gav.” There was some sympathy in his voice that had the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end.

I didn't understand what was happening, but looking over my shoulder at Gavin, he seemed to. While I was trying to sort out how we'd gone from having a good time to…whatever the apparent ambush was, Gavin spoke up.

“I didn't mean to,” he said.

Carter shook his head, but I didn’t trust his act. “Didn't figure you did, but you were seen embracing a supposedly grieving widow.” The blood drained from my face as I recalled throwing myself at Gavin. How did Carter know? We’d been alone. “Thankfully, there's not any proof to show it wasn't me since it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary to give self-defense lessons to, or comfort, my protectee, but you know how he is about appearances. It's one thing for a bodyguard to offer comfort, but a whole other matter for the leader of a known—”

“Shut the fuck up, Carter,” Gavin snapped at him.

“Wait!” I attempted to intervene with a modicum of success. “What the heck is going on?” I studiously ignored Rafe, but he was the one who answered, so I had to acknowledge him.

“It's time to go home, Shelby.” He didn't sound any more pleased about it than I felt, but he wasn't the one in shock.

“No,” I whispered, backing away, but I didn't exactly have anywhere to run to. As if sensing my mounting anxiety, Blake, followed by River and Rain, came from the hall in a hurry. I sighed in relief.

“You're not taking her,” Rain started, but Carter shook his head again.

“Shelby is legally bound to honor the contract she signed,” he informed us, though he spoke to Rain. “Or face the consequences. Are you prepared to pay the penalties, Shelby?”

Rafe stepped forward, and Gavin met him, accepting the folder and flipping through it. Gavin’s eyes widened, and he darted them from the papers, to me, then back again. I could see where passages had been highlighted, and from the title, I recognized that it was my prenup.

Surely that can’t still be valid. I didn’t even remember what all was in it. That explained why I hadn’t been allowed access to my money, though. I was broke without it, and they knew it. I couldn’t even hire an attorney.

“Shelby, please tell me you didn’t sign this?” Gavin shoved the papers under my face and I forced myself to focus. It helped that River and Rain came to flank me with Blake guarding my back.

I read through the highlights, recognizing a lot of it. None of it pertained to me not being allowed funds or Carter being able to force me to go back—until I came to a clause I didn’t recognize.

“This isn’t right,” I said, looking Carter dead in the eyes. “I wouldn’t have agreed to that. After all the fucked up clauses I did agree to, that’s not one of them.”

“It has your signature, Shelby, and it’s notarized.” Carter held his hands up like he was innocent.

I snorted at his audacity. “You think I don’t know how simple that would be for you people to forge? There’s a copy filed with my attorney’s office. I understand he’s passed, quite conveniently, I might add, but there’s also one filed with the court.”

I let River slip the folder from my fingers as I waited for Carter to figure out a rebuttal.

“Mr. Caldwell fell asleep with a lit cigar. There are no copies from that quarter, but I assure you, Shelby, this is the same one filed with the courts,” Rafe informed me, just as cold-blooded as his father, while Carter tapped at something on his phone screen.

“If you knew what your brother put me through, I wouldn’t be the enemy, Rafe.” I thought the plea might make him see reason, but he wasn’t having any of it.

“I highly doubt that, Shelby, but if you’re refusing, I need to notify our attorneys.”

“We’ll pay the fines,” River said, Rain, Blake, and Gavin all agreeing with him. Hope lit within me, and something a little warm and fuzzy settled around my heart. They weren’t going to send me back to that house of horrors.

“I thought that might be the case.” Carter sighed and crossed to a window to pull the blinds up.

Before he’d gotten them halfway up, Rain repeated his earlier words, only with a lot more venom than before. “You’re not not taking her.”

“We are though,” Carter informed him, gesturing to the window. “And before you all start a war, consider who is going to be caught in the middle.” His clear threat stopped them in their tracks.

All of them, save Carter and Rafe, moved to scan the area outside, with Gavin keeping me close as he looked out the front door. Even I noticed the increased presence of the guards outside with a quick glimpse.

I swallowed hard then rasped, “Don’t hurt them.” Worry for the men I'd become attached to sat at the forefront of my thoughts. My mind scrambled for a way out of the situation, but my only hope was to get far away from them then try to escape the two who had come to collect me.

Tears welled in my eyes when I realized I couldn’t even give them a proper goodbye. “I'll go. Just don't hurt anyone, please.” Carter's eyes softened as he looked at me, almost as if he were trying to reassure me, but I couldn't trust him.

“Oh come on, save the theatrics. Let's just get out of here. It's a long ass drive back to that hellhole.” Rafe’s anger had boiled over, so unlike the carefree man I’d met a year ago.

“Can I—may I,” I corrected myself, “get some of my things?” Rafe shook his head. “You'll have anything you need back at home, Shelby. You know that. This lot can send up whatever if they don't want it in the way, but we're leaving. Now. ”

My vision began to narrow as my reality ate away at my failing composure. “Baby, it will be okay,” Blake said quietly, cupping my face in his hands before pulling me in for a hug.

I barely noticed Carter’s head snap in our direction, but I sure heard him loud and clear. “Is that why you got after me the other day? I’ll remind you, once again, Shelby. You’re not at liberty to form attachments.”

“Fuck off, Carter,” I retorted, voice thick with impending tears.

“Grab the harlot and let’s go, Carter,” Rafe muttered, shoving past us, disgust clear in the sneer on his face.