Chapter Nine

Blake

“ We’ll tell on you if you can’t do your job, Blake. Take care of her, Blake. Why is she mad again, Blake? ” I muttered under my breath in a falsetto, mimicking the boys that were driving me up the wall. The little fuckers could hold a grudge, that was for sure. They’d been hounding me since Shelby woke up without them. Like I didn’t already feel enough like a piece of shit.

I raked my hand through my hair when it flopped forward, obscuring my vision again, and contemplated buzzing it off as I stalked across the lodge toward my office. It was where the cousins were waiting with their newest obsession because I’d had the audacity to take her pain meds away. She might be hurting still, I couldn’t dispute that, but she was playing them, too. I knew what an addiction in the making looked like. What was more surprising was that by all counts she should have already had one. She’d avoided it this long by the grace of the almighty I didn’t cotton to a bit, and I damned well wasn’t going to let it happen on my watch.

My reflection caught my eye as I passed a tinted window, and I detoured to the nearest bathroom. I’d been helping unload the truck for the kitchen before Rain summoned me, and I looked a mess. Normally, I wouldn’t mind showing up less than pristine, but a pair of haunting, judgmental whiskey-brown eyes would be on me soon enough, and I couldn’t shake the urge to preen like one of those peacocking boys before I had to face their scrutiny.

Is this what he felt like? Was it the beginning of his fixation, or was it jealousy over Dirk?

I didn’t bother to answer the questions my mind formed. It happened every time I was idle enough to think of her and what I knew of what had gone down. Neither I, nor the others, could afford for me to fixate on the girl too no matter how intriguing she was.

No matter how she’s just your type?

I shook the intrusive thought off while I splashed cold water on my face, washed my arms, exposed and streaked with the black dust that accumulated in the box of the delivery truck, and fixed my hair enough to not appear so unkempt. With nothing left to drag my feet over, I got on with it and threw the paper towels in the trash as I left the bathroom off the main dining area. The room would be busy in the evening, but between lunch and dinner most everyone was going about their daily business.

My skin prickled with a rush of awareness when I came within her sight, and I wanted to turn tail and run. Pretend she didn’t affect me in the least. Stifling a groan, I picked up my pace and kept my eyes on my feet until I couldn’t anymore. Then I pasted a friendly but hopefully professional smile on my face before lifting my gaze and promptly sucking in a breath. Shelby looked like shit.

“Took you long enough,” Rain started in on me until Shelby hushed him with the most unladylike grunt of a noise. It startled a laugh out of me, breaking up the tension a bit, but her wince of pain had me crouching down in a hurry.

“Where are you hurting?” I asked softly, peering up into eyes dulled with pain and a pale face coated with a fine sheen of perspiration. It beaded up on her forehead and upper lip, more noticeable the closer I got.

“I overdid it a bit. I know it’s too early, but please, Blake, the Tylenol isn’t cutting it,” she implored, voice soft as she could make it out of necessity but still with that raspy edge from the damage to her throat.

“Come on, then. Let’s get you fixed up.” I straightened and unlocked my office. There was no point in denying her. Hell, I wouldn’t deny her ever, not as long as she had enough discomfort to warrant it. I just wasn’t gonna let her use them as a crutch to dissociate.

“That’s it? She just had to ask? Why couldn’t we keep it to hand out if needed, Blake?” River shot the questions at me rapid-fire without giving me a chance to answer. I didn’t bother until we were all crowded in my office, the wheelchair Shelby was ensconced in taking up the space in front of my desk. Right as River got impatient, I answered him.

“Yes, that’s it. For fuck’s sake, River, she’s slumped over holding her ribs. She hasn’t been this upright with pressure on them for so long since before she sustained the injuries. Of course she’s hurting. If she talked with you chatterboxes the whole time you’ve been out, I’m sure she’s worn out.” I paused while I ducked into the closet I kept as a small pharmacy. It was one reason Shelby was housed in my area; only certain people had full access to my hall. Couldn’t have my closet getting raided at will. I came back out with a small bottle, a handful of pills in the bottom. “Here.” I held it out to Rain, currently the less volatile of the two. “She can have between a half and a whole every four to six hours. I’ll still keep up with the maintenance doses at my usual times, but you hang on to those for breakthrough pain. I don’t want her—”

“I’m sitting right here, you know,” she rasped. Her head was tipped back, supported by the top of the seatback though it had to be uncomfortable, and her eyes were at half-mast, the lids hiding all but the barest hint of her brown glare.

Chagrined, I gave her a nod. “Sorry, Shelby, I didn’t mean to talk over you. I’m used to you ignoring me unless I force the issue, and I can see you’re tired.” Crouching down again so she didn’t have to strain her neck, I dared to put my hand on her knee. She didn’t immediately shove it off, so I hoped she took it as the comfort it was meant to be. “I don’t want you hurting, but I want to be careful so you don’t overdo it because it’s not painful yet. If you’re gonna be up and about, you can’t be chancing getting disoriented with the medication or not realizing it’s too much until they wear off and then it’s too hard to chase it up. Do you understand why I don’t want you having the bottle?”

Relief washed through me when she gave me a knowing look, no matter how shame shadowed it. I hadn’t wanted to have to spell it out and embarrass her. I held out the full-dose pill I’d kept back and gestured for Rain to get a water bottle from the mini fridge behind my desk. He cracked the top and waited while Shelby put the pill in her mouth then hovered while she lifted the bottle from his grip to wash it down.

Cheeks flushed under our scrutiny, Shelby glanced between us. “Thanks for the help, but can I go to bed now? Preferably before that kicks in and I pass out in this chair.”

River and Rain were uncharacteristically quiet, though that might have been because they didn’t want to spew the bile they were surely holding back on Shelby’s account in front of her. It left me to straighten up and lead the way. I was used to the snits the boys could get themselves into, but Shelby had a lot to learn if she was going to be around for any length of time. I couldn’t decide what shitty scenario was better; her staying long enough to get attached or leaving before it would hurt to do so and being dragged back to her old life sans husband. Or, more accurately, sans first husband.

I was about to shut the door when I saw someone headed toward my office, making me quickly check my watch. It appeared I’d lost track of the time. Alarm sent a streak of a distinctly uncomfortable sensation from my sternum to my dick. If the timing had been any different, I had a feeling there would have been a very different conversation with the damaged little redhead that was pulling on everyone’s heartstrings.

Don’t get attached, Blake, I warned myself as the woman passed the trio to stop in front of me where I blocked the entrance to my office. Shelby didn’t seem to have any interest, and I assumed she was too tired or the meds were starting to work so she didn’t care. The cousins glanced back, their expressions mirroring one another, letting me know damn well that they knew why the woman was here.

Now it was my turn to perspire, the little beads building up on my forehead and upper lip just had Shelby’s had done, albeit for entirely different reasons.

“Uh, can I come in, or did I mix up my appointment time?” the woman asked, eyeing me with a mix of concern and confusion.

“Sorry, CarolAnn, been a hectic day. Come on in, and I’ll get set up,” I said, waving her through then firmly shutting the door. My mind was on the occupants heading down the hall and my struggle to ignore the slight similarities between the women. Right, slight . I winced at my overactive conscience, not that it was going to keep me from my plans. It was part of what I was paid to do, after all.

***

Shelby

Blake led the way, looking over his shoulder every so often to check on me, while I shuffled my way behind him with my walker. I’d insisted he let me do it on my own, but he was only willing to allow so much. He wouldn’t go more than a few steps ahead of me no matter how much I’d progressed since I’d gotten upright again.

I was sure I made quite the picture with my hunched, too-thin frame tightly wrapped in a fairly new robe, the edges looking distinctly older and frayed where my hands constantly worried at the fabric to keep it shut. I needn’t have worried since none of them had harmed me, and I didn’t think they would, but the nervous habit had just started up. When I thought about it too much, my mind strayed to Mama and how she’d do the same, her hands fluttering up around her neck or worrying at one another—and then I remembered she was dead.

I must have made a noise, or maybe I’d lagged too far behind, for Blake stopped and waited for me to come abreast.

“You doing alright, Shelby? I can grab the chair if you’re getting tired.” He eyed me like he could see down past the loose loungewear I had on under my robe, like he could see right down to my dirty, demented soul. I’m turning into my mother.

Today was harder than most. Normally, if I felt so low, I wouldn’t get out of bed, but I wanted my own room. The deal was I had to be strong enough and well enough for them to risk it, so out of bed I’d gotten when Blake showed up to exercise me. Walk me like a dog was more like it, but he’d just given me one of those looks when I’d mentioned it. I’d thought it was funny, sort of, but I was also the one being kept like a pet at a boarding kennel. I just didn’t know why or when I could leave.

“Shelby?” he asked again, concern creasing the skin at the corners of his deep brown eyes. I was acting crazy again.

With a sigh, I let one of the walker handles loose and clutched the lapels of my robe together. “Do you ever feel like you’re losing your mind, Blake? Like you’re watching it happen but you can’t do anything about it? You just know it’s only a matter of time until you’re a paranoid zealot bordering on being a hermit.”

Blake blinked rapidly as he digested what I’d just blurted out. “That was oddly specific, Shelby. Should I get the chair, or do you think you can make it to my office?” he deflected, causing me to purse my lips in agitation.

“I’ll walk, thanks,” I said before resuming, then grumbled under my breath, “I’m sure you could carry me just fine if it came down to it.”

Apparently, it wasn’t quiet enough since he answered me. “That would be inappropriate outside of an emergency, Shelby.”

“Pfft! Inappropriate ? You’re all keeping me here and have done some shady shit already. That’s inappropriate. Don’t think I didn’t notice, either. I’m not blind. I just don’t want to stick my nose where it isn’t wanted and doesn’t belong. Look where that already got me.” I paused long enough to gesture at myself and the area around me before picking up my pace in an effort to escape, no matter the ache in my ribs, in case I’d made him mad. He’d not done anything to suggest he’d do much but maybe yell if I got him too pissed, but I’d already made that mistake before, assuming things that quickly became a different reality.

“Shelby, hold up! It’s not a race.” I ignored him and kept on, ready for my walk to be over. “Dammit, Shelby, I said hold up.” Blake grabbed onto my elbow to stop me, having caught up with a few strides, but it was the sharp snap of his command, the irritation in his voice, that froze me in my tracks.

Abruptly, I found myself sitting on the little seat of the walker, not knowing how I’d gotten there, battling to suck air into my lungs.

“Jesus, girl, don’t pass out on me now. The cousins will kick my ass when they find out I caused a panic attack. Unless Carter gets to me first.”

I looked at him through a haze edged in darkness. Maybe he was the crazy one. Had to be with that shit coming out of his mouth. Bringing Carter around would definitely end in a panic attack. Or a murder. I wasn't against putting something pointy in an important part if the asshole gave me the opportunity.

It took a few minutes with him coaching me along, but I finally caught my breath enough to sit up and see straight. As for continuing my walk, well, I wasn’t sure I could make it to the end of the hall let alone back to the infirmary.

Blake apparently came to the same conclusion because he sighed and made sure I was steady. “I’m going to run up and grab the chair. Don’t move, alright?” I gave him a thumbs up which seemed to irritate him, though I wasn’t sure why. He left with a muttered “Damn thumb, again.”

So much for getting my own room anytime soon. I tipped my head back with a groan. He hadn’t even asked what caused me to freak out. It was pathetic how predictable I’d become. I was pathetic.