12. Sneaking Around is Sexy

There was something a little too hilarious about Hayes sneaking me into his hotel room. We were hundreds of miles away from Xander"s disapproving brotherdom, and we were still playing the forbidden lovers.

And this time... I kind of hoped we were actually going to get to the lovers part. Even if I was a tiny bit nervous about it. I"m sure I"d get over it when the time came.

Hayes popped his head out of the stairwell door two floors below Kelsey"s suite, looked left, looked right, and said, "Come on, the coast is clear."

I seriously had to hold in my giggle when he dragged me along the wall, then ducked into the little bay with the ice machine. "Shh... someone"s coming."

He pressed his body against mine, using it to block any prying eyes from seeing me. "You"d better kiss me so they think we"re just some ordinary horny couple who can"t make it to our room and not an escaped running back and his ball bunny breaking the rules."

"Good thinking." He crushed his lips down on mine and I shoved my hands into his hair, not wanting this kiss to end.

The ice machine dropped a load of cubes in a crash, and I jerked away with a gasp. Hayes chuckled and I smacked him on the arm. "That scared the bejeesus out of me. You"ve got me all worked up about getting caught."

"Then we"d better get to safety fast." He stuck his head out of the ice machine cubby, looked around, then turned to me with a finger to his lips. We crept down the hall toward his room, hand in hand, sliding along the walls past any number of doors that could be concealing his teammates or coaches. He made out as if we were hiding from the guards in some spy thriller, and I"d never had more fun.

We stopped, and he tapped his key card against a door, but the light went red instead of green. He tapped it again, and then looked up at the number. "Shit, this isn"t my room."

A voice came from inside. "Just a minute."

"Run, Willa, run." He shoved me in front of him and covered the door like he was protecting me from the bad guy squad hot on our heels. "That"s Coach."

Sprinting was not my usual mode of transportation, but I ran like there was a pack of zombies after us. Hayes burst past me, grabbed my hand, and hauled me around the corner, through the elevator area, and down the opposite hallway. Another three doors down, and he swiped his card over the lock on another door, and it popped right open.

We dashed inside and shut the door tight. I leaned against it breathing fast and hard. Hayes came over and caged me against the door with his arms on either side of my head.

"You," pant, "did," pant, "that," pant, "on purpose." No way I believed he"d gotten the location of his hotel room that wrong.

"Now why would I do that?" He shook his head and narrowed his eyes. "Do you know the consequences of having a woman in our room the night before a game?"

I"d heard about the tens of thousands of dollars in fines that pro football players had to pay for infractions of some of the silliest rules you"ve ever heard. "Worth it for the adrenaline rush?"

"That did get my heart racing and my blood pumping." He ran the back of his knuckles down my cheek and over the pulse point in my throat. "And made you pink-cheeked and out of breath."

"I can think of way better ways for you to get me hot and bothered, Kingman." God, I loved kissing him. I stood on my tiptoes, but I wasn"t tall enough to reach his mouth with mine if he didn"t meet me part way, so I grabbed the collar of his shirt and tugged him to right where I wanted him. "For example, like this."

We came together so fervently that our mouths mashed, our teeth clacked, and our tongues slipped and slid over each other. Hayes groaned into my mouth and pressed me harder against the door, grabbing one of my thighs and lifting it so he could press his body that much closer to mine.

If ever I wished for a magical power, it was right now. It would be really great if I could just wiggle my nose to turn out the lights, make our clothes disappear, and be under the covers with him. Attachments be damned, I wanted Hayes Kingman so badly I ached from the inside out. But he wasn"t a fuck-up-against-the-door kind of guy.

I needed to be more careful about what this would mean to him. If this truly was his first time, it ought to be a little more special than a door banger. The least we could do is make it to a bed.

He stroked his hand up the back of my thigh and I"d never been happier that I"d pulled out my sundresses from Vietnam for this trip to Florida. Bed, schmed, maybe we"d find it later.

I reached for the hem of his shirt and lifted it to pull it up over his head. He snagged it with his free hand and yanked on it so hard the buttons went flying. He tossed the whole thing over his shoulder, fast enough that I took only one breath before our mouths were seeking and searching for each other again.

His bare chest under my hands was more magical than any damn superpowers anyway, and I wanted more of him. I grabbed for his belt, and there was something about hearing a buckle slide free and a zipper go down that made me weak in the knees.

I"d been denying myself the touch, feel, and everything else about this man for so long that now I was practically in a frenzy to finally get to be with him. It was going to be really hard to slow down if he wasn"t actually ready to have sex with me. I should check in with him on that... and I would... in a minute.

With his pants slug low across his hips, I arched my back into him, and couldn"t help the little whimper that escaped as my lower belly rubbed across his boxer-covered erection. Hayes paused and broke the frantic kiss. "Willa, we don"t have to do anything more than this. We don"t have to do something you"re not absolutely sure you want to do."

I pressed my lips together to keep from snort-laughing. "I was just going to... I think I"m the one who is supposed to be saying that to you."

"If you"re worried I won"t be able to," he bit one side of his lip, "please you in bed, I assure you, I have been studying."

First of all, I was dying at how cute he was talking about pleasing me in bed. Who talks like that? Hayes Kingman is who. And also... he"d been studying? Had he been born with all these green flags or was he simply raised this way? "By studying, do you mean watching porn?"

He grinned and shrugged. "Some. There are some very educational things on the internet."

"You adorable horndog." I was looking forward to him showing me what he"d learned. "But you know I meant because you, you"re, you..." How did I put this so I didn"t embarrass him? I knew full well that a man"s sexual prowess was a point of pride, and I didn"t want to wound his right before he got to show me all that prowess.

"Because I haven"t done this before?" He nibbled his way from a sensitive spot on my throat up to my ear.

"Aren"t you, like, saving yourself for the right girl or something?" I didn"t want to admit it, even to myself, but I did not feel like the right girl for him at all. In fact, I was quite sure I was the wrong one.

Hayes laughed at me this time. "Virginity is a social construct, babe. I don"t give a damn about that."

He didn"t? "You don"t?"

But...

He pulled me down the hall toward the main part of the room, where there was a desk, a couch, a TV, and the bed. "No. That is not why I haven"t had sex."

Huh. Why did I think he"d said that? Had I made it up in my mind? Because there had to be a good reason why a hottie like Hayes wasn"t getting laid left and right. "It"s not for religious reasons, is it?"

"Not even close." He turned us so the back of my knees bumped against the bed.

"Old-fashioned values?" I doubted we"d be in this situation if he was a fan of Victorian or even Old West morays. "Because you should know this doesn"t mean we"re getting married in the morning."

He laughed again. "Nope. That"s not it either. Willa? Are you stalling? Because I meant it when I said we don"t have to do anything. We can lay here and watch a movie if you want. I might need a cold shower first, but sweetheart, I only want to do whatever you"re comfortable with. I mean it."

I made the mistake of glancing at the enormous king-sized bed, and with that one look, I knew I was going to look like a huge dork even trying to climb up on this thing. The mattress was almost up to my waist. This hotel definitely catered to giant football players and not short teacher-barista-cat ladies.

Wait, was I stalling? Nooo. Yes? Maybe.

"If it"s not any of those..."

Before I even had a chance to either finish my sentence or look like a roly-poly princess trying to avoid a pea, Hayes grabbed me by the hips and literally tossed me onto the center of the mattress. I squealed like a little girl until he and all those naked, rippling muscles climbed up with me and crawled over me. Then I squealed on the inside like a full-grown woman about to get laid by one of the hottest men on the planet.

"Willa?" He looked down into my eyes, and if I wasn"t already on the bed, I"d have fallen down. Or fallen in love.

"Yes?" That came out more of a squeak than the sex kitten whisper I"d meant it to be. I couldn"t be in love with this man. It wasn"t fair to either of us.

He licked his lips and all I could do was stare. "Can we save the questions for later?"

"Uh-huh." I"d never ask him another question again if he"d just kiss me and not stop.

He blinked really slowly and let out a soft sigh. And... oh my heart, he was nervous. "Good."

His nerves were sweet and lovable, and somehow had my own rearing their ugly head. I knew I was the more experienced one here, but I"d only been with two other guys before him. I didn"t want him to have some unrealistic expectations about what he was about to see and what would happen. "But you know how you said you"ve been watching porn to, you know, get ready for this?"

"Yeah." A dash of pink flashed under each of his cheekbones. I hadn"t meant to make him feel abashed about that. This was about my hang-ups. No, that wasn't quite right. I wasn't ashamed of what I looked like, of my body. But I also knew that the world was a judgy place, and I might as well set the right expectations from the start. Because the sooner I did, the sooner I could get over it and... get under Hayes.

And I really, really wanted to be with him. Here goes.

"Under this dress is not the body of a porn star. I"ve got stretch marks and a squishy belly and my boobs haven"t been perky since I was twelve." I didn't mean for that to sound like a warning label about what I looked like. It"s not like I wanted to warn him off.

We were so opposite, and I didn"t know if I actually believed in the whole opposites attract thing. There was this tiny part inside of me that wasn"t ready to believe that the sexy, over-achieving, celebrity, sports star was attracted to the flighty, chubby, bookworm with only a semi-permanent job.

That mean girl's voice inside my head asked what he was doing with a girl like me.

I didn"t want to think that way. But I had to admit, after years of feeling like a failure at school, with my family, even friends, I did not fulfill society"s expectations on most things. My body just being one. So far Hayes hadn"t seemed to care about any of my shortcomings. But would this be the thing that put that disappointed look in his eyes?

I"d seen it before. My whole life. I never met anyone"s expectations. Maybe this would set the right one so no one was disappointed.

"I don"t want a porn star, Willa. I want you." I looked anywhere but at him. He pushed a hand into my hair and didn"t let me turn my face away. Hayes the one challenging my presumptions now. "Porn and the bodies in it are nothing more than a fantasy. I"m much more interested in reality, especially the reality of you, in my bed, right here, right now."

I closed my eyes. "You haven"t seen the real me yet."

"Haven"t I?" He said that unlike a question, and it made my eyes pop open and stare up and him. There was this sparkle in his eyes like firecrackers on New Year"s Eve. And that was the opposite of disappointment.

He didn"t mean he"d seen my body. When no one else paid attention, he did. Hayes Kingman saw... me. And he still wanted me.

I didn"t always like what I saw in the mirror, I don"t think any woman did. But being a big girl living in an Ozempic world, the expectations were that I needed to change because my body wasn"t worthy of love the way it was. That was almost unbearable and a reality I rejected.

The absolute lust for me in Hayes's eyes made those particular insecurities flee the scene. If he could look at me this way, I could rethink how I looked at myself.

My chest contracted and I forgot how to breathe.

So I didn"t. Instead I kissed him and wrapped my legs around his waist. Who needed to breathe anyway?