Chapter 14

TUGGING AT THEnecktie he'd somehow managed to figure out how to put on, Ash regarded his reflection with a bleak expression. His fingers itched to fidget with the cuffs of his jacket, but for what reason he wasn't sure. It fit him like a glove, just as Laurel had promised it would when, just days before, he'd taken the measurements of his arms, chest, and shoulders with a long ribbon of measuring tape.

"It's not because I'm embarrassed to be seen with you wearing your normal clothes or anything," Laurel had assured him. "But there's a dress code, so…" He had trailed off, somewhat awkwardly, as if in apology.

"I'll pay you back," he'd insisted, sounding stiff even to his own ears.

"You know, you're going to have to get over the whole money thing if you really want to date me. I'm not going to pretend to be poor to spare your ego."

"I'm not asking you to do that," Ash had muttered. "If I'm courting you, then I should be the one taking you on dates and giving you gifts."

Laurel had glanced up at him wryly from where he'd been scribbling down the measurements he'd taken. "Of course you would approach it from the most archaic, primitive position possible."

"It's the way I was brought up to think," Ash had answered with a sniff, refusing to feel foolish for preferring to stick to tradition. "Don't pretend you don't like being catered to, anyway."

"I'm not," Laurel gave a shrug, though for once he was the one amused with Ash's oddly stubborn feelings on the subject. "I do like it. But don't expect me to swoon into your arms while you strut around banging your chest like a barbarian just because I want your dick in me. I'd like to buy you gifts, and do things for you, too. And you'll have to get used to it."

Blinking, Ash had watched him set his little notepad aside, and pick up the messily raveled roll of marked tape. "I hope you aren't planning on checking my inseam after saying that. I think you'll find a particular part of my anatomy is going to skew your data and render it mostly unusable."

It had looked to Ash as though the sorcerer was exercising great restraint in not letting his gaze drop down to verify that statement. "I suppose I should be flattered that it's so easy for me to… excite you." Laurel's voice was light, but a shadow had passed over his eyes, and a lick of insecurity Ash couldn't quite decipher had pulsed from him, just for a moment.

Hoping to drag the beautiful blonde back up from the strange and sudden unhappiness, he'd forced a smile onto his face, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "You don't have to be flattered, but I'm certain you'll enjoy reaping the benefits of my excitement."

He'd changed the subject then, and Ash had let him, though part of the healer had wanted to pursue the sudden change in mood.

Pulling himself back to the present, Ash sat on the edge of his bed, in deep thought. Laurel could be shy about certain things, but usually those things were related to emotional intimacy. They'd spoken rather frankly about sex, and he hadn't shown much insecurity about it, other than his number of former partners, which they'd already resolved. So what had been the differentiating factor in that particular conversation?

When he heard Laurel's knock on the door to his room, he mentally filed it away to ponder later. Rising to open it, he found himself stepping back in surprise.

"Gorgeous."

Blinking in surprise at the greeting, Laurel glanced down at himself. "I like to dress up for this kind of thing," he explained, though he was glad Ash seemed to like it. The fitted pants and waistcoat had studs and rivets intricately patterned up the sides, and were snug to his slender form, long thighs made to appear even longer by the boots that laced up to his knee. A fancy little capelet fastened to one of his shoulders with a shiny clasp, fluttering across his chest.

"Well, the clothes, too," Ash said, smiling when Laurel did. "You look really lovely."

"You do, too. Except…" Frowning a bit, Laurel tilted his head. "Let me fix this." Without waiting for an answer, he slid his palms up Ash's chest to loosen his tie and straighten it. "I didn't realize you actually knew how to brush your hair."

"Thanks." Letting the jab about his thick, chronically messy hair slide, he tried not to fidget as he watched the blonde's fingers deftly adjusting the tie. "How's Ingrid? Is she nervous?"

Laurel raised his eyes to Ash's, surprised that he would think to ask. "She's fine, this isn't her first concert or anything. She headed over with my parents earlier to set up."

"Ah." Ash suddenly realized that the sorcerer's family would be there. And would undoubtedly see them together. "Do you… usually go with them?" He asked, testingly.

"Usually." Understanding what Ash was really asking, Laurel ran his tongue around his teeth as he considered. "I told them I would meet them there because I was bringing someone with me."

"And?"

"They were surprised."

"Pleasantly surprised?"

Laurel felt his mouth being tugged into a grin. The nervous tone in the healer's voice was surprisingly adorable, and helped to alleviate some of his own nerves he'd been trying very hard not to acknowledge.

"Undetermined."

"You don't have to introduce me just because I'll be there. Don't feel obligated. I know it's still early. You don't need to rush anything and make yourself uncomfortable."

"I don't think I've ever heard you sound so nervous," Laurel commented. He supposed the healer was right in saying that their relationship was still new, but since he'd gotten a firsthand glimpse into Ash's feelings for him, the amount of time they'd known each other had started to seem very unimportant. "What happened to your unflinching confidence?"

Wincing, Ash followed him out so they could head to the entrance of the castle. "I'm confident about having you as my adored husband, and the eventual doting father to my children. That doesn't mean I'm immune to the suffering and awkwardness of disappointing your parents."

"Don't take it personally if it seems that way," Laurel advised him. "It took them forever to accept that I wasn't getting back with my ex. And since then I haven't really involved them in any part of my, uh, love life. I'm not sure how they'll react to us, honestly."

"Nero?" Ash wondered. He'd been under the impression that their relationship had been rather brief, and more recent. Then again, having your son date the crown prince was probably noteworthy in a parent's mind regardless of the length of the courting.

"Huh?" Laurel answered absently, before his eyes widened. "Oh. No, not Nero. A different ex. I, um…" Uneasiness, thicker than fog, permeated the air around them as he spoke. Instantly alert, Ash slipped a hand around the Laurel's slim waist, pecking a quick kiss onto his shoulder.

"Don't get upset. We don't have to talk about this now. We have all the time in the world to exchange ex-boyfriend horror stories."

Nauseated by the thought, Laurel wondered if Ash could hear his heart thumping in his chest. "Do you actually have any ex-boyfriend horror stories?"

"Sort of," Ash admitted, keenly aware of the severe tension. He knew it was a selfish thought to have, but he'd be glad when Laurel finally opened up to him about all of his insecurities, so that he would know which subjects to avoid. "I don't know that I'd call it horror exactly, but I've been walked in on. Twice."

"Walked in on… Having sex," Laurel determined, coughing out a shocked laugh. As Ash had hoped, his tension dissipated a little at the confession. "I'm surprised he let you do it again after getting caught the first time. I think I might have devoted my life to celibacy."

"Different guys."

Shaking his head, Laurel couldn't hold back his mildly appalled grin as he climbed up into the carriage he'd already rented to take them to the venue hall. It was funny, but part of him churned with dread at the realization that this was what Ash considered a horror story related to a past relationship. Still, he was determined not to ruin their night with his baggage.

"I hope you figured out how to lock your bedroom door after the second time."

"Well, I put a lock on my door after the first time. The second time was outside." He threw his head back and laughed at Laurel's expression, which somehow managed to convey both exasperation and repulsion all at once. "What can I say? I'm spontaneous."

"I might spontaneously murder you if anyone ever walks in on us."

"Well, it takes two," Ash pointed out, grinning. "And I'd never push you, sunshine. So just fend off my advances until we're somewhere secure and you'll be fine."

"You make it sound like I'd have any trouble doing that," Laurel scoffed, flicking his eyes out to the window, where the nighttime scenery passed in a soft blur. "Not to kill your excitement or anything, but I've never been the kind of person that gets swept up with… that sort of thing." When he glanced over to see Ash's eyebrow raised, he felt his skin go pink. "I'm not challenging you or playing coy or whatever. I just don't want you to end up disappointed if you're expecting a lot from me in that department."

"You're the sexiest person I've ever met."

"I know you think that. Just don't expect the way I look to translate into… practical application." Considering the subject closed, Laurel shifted his gaze back out of the window, though he found he couldn't focus on anything in particular.

"I'm sorry," Ash spoke up, after a stretch of silence. Laurel's stormy emotions were sizzling on the air, clouding his brain a little. "I keep bringing things up that make you unhappy tonight, and that's never been my intention."

Immediately contrite for being irritable, Laurel turned back to him. "No, I'm sorry. I guess I'm just on edge."

Rising from his seat, Ash crossed the small space between them to settle onto the other side of the carriage, where he could put his arm around the blonde. "You're fine. Like I said, we don't have to talk about anything difficult. Just enjoy yourself tonight. We have all the time in the world for the hard conversations."

Appeased as usual by the healer's patience with him, Laurel found it all too easy to burrow into Ash's side. He'd missed this feeling, deeply, though allowing himself to feel so safe and secure with a man had given him nothing but agonizing pain and grief the first time around. And yet here he was, allowing it again. Was he really so weak, he wondered miserably, or just human?

Desperate for anything to distract him from that question, Laurel remembered something he'd been wondering about but had forgotten to ask.

"Hey, remember the first day when you told me you'd be treating me? When we were with everyone at the castle?"

"Of course."

"When it was just us, you said there were risks with the procedure. What did you mean by that?"

"You don't have to worry about any of that," Ash assured him. "There are only risks when this type of magic is used without the proper… I guess I'd call it preparation."

"Preparation?" Laurel asked. "You mean, like, getting ready?"

"More for the patient than the healer," Ash explained. "Like I said before, your brain has a way of defending your memories from being breached. If I were to try my method on someone that I hadn't sufficiently gotten to know and garnered their trust, then it could be really dangerous for them."

"Dangerous how?"

"Well, trying to force your way in without satisfying the proper requirements can result in serious mental damage. I could erase your memories, or erase your personality traits. I could destroy parts of your mind that make you who you are."

"That's… Horrifying," Laurel decided, cringing at the description.

"I promise you that you have nothing to worry about," Ash swore again, his voice intense now. "I've never, ever had that happen with a patient. And I would never put you at risk."

"No, I know," Laurel said quickly, snuggling his body into the man's side again, as if to remind him. "I know you would never hurt me."

"This is why I insisted we get to know each other. It wasn't only because I find you so incredibly charming, you know," Ash teased. "It's necessary to negate the risks."

Laurel gave a slight nod in understanding, before letting out a light chuckle. "You know, it really goes to show what an honest guy you are, being so cautious about all that. If you really wanted, you could just hop into my brain and fix all the stuff you don't like about me. You could make me be nice to you all the time."

Leaning forward so he could give the other man a very pointed look, Ash shook his head. "I think I'd get bored if you were nice to me all the time. I like you just the way you are. Attitude and all."

"I'm going to remind you of that one day," Laurel warned.

He was answered with a light kiss on the bridge of his nose.