Chapter 15

ATTENDING THE CONCERTwas not, Ash discovered very shortly upon arriving, what he'd thought it would be. He'd imagined a room with a stage where the musicians with their instruments would play and everyone would clap politely and then they would leave.

Moving through groups of mingling guests in a massive room with tables of food, Ash found himself clinging to Laurel out of fear that he'd be swept away into a whirlpool of glistening diamonds and gossip. He'd known, somewhat, that Laurel was socially relevant in the local aristocracy, but he hadn't been fully aware of the extent.

When Laurel pointed out his parents, across the floor from them, Ash felt a curl of nerves in his stomach. "We'll be sitting with them," he explained. "So there's really no point in avoiding it."

"I'm fine," Ash assured him, forcing a casual smile onto his face. At least the tense wait would be over with quickly.

It was not over with quickly. They were stopped by various peers and acquaintances of Laurel's what seemed like a dozen times on the way. Though he could feel Laurel's patience for the social situation was sort of thin and a bit ragged, and he knew very well that the blonde hated being casually touched, he made polite small talk, accepted handshakes, and introduced Ash as his date.

It was a surprising relief to him, as he hadn't realized how worried he'd actually been about how his presence would be explained to the high society crowd. He'd half expected to be referred to as a friend, or even worse, not acknowledged at all. He knew all too well the tailored jacket and trousers he adorned weren't enough to fool anyone into thinking he belonged there, but Laurel seemed completely unconcerned with that aspect of their situation.

Though his introductions and casual conversation before easing away from each person was tactful and proper, it was obvious to Ash that Laurel didn't enjoy the song and dance of it all. Another surprise to him. As irritable and hot-tempered as the sorcerer could be, he'd somehow held onto the image of him as a popular socialite. It wasn't until they were approached by two men, an odd pair that looked as different from each other as humanly possible, that Ash felt Laurel's mild displeasure fade into a pop of delight. Intrigued and charmed by it, Ash's smile was genuine as he was introduced.

Ramor, a dark-skinned, broad-shouldered man with an athletic build and neat braids of black hair, had a charismatic grin on his handsome face as he shook Ash's hand. Easy, affable energy. In stark contrast, Cedar was olive-toned and slender, with hollow cheeks and a sculpted mouth that smacked plainly of noble genetics, much like Laurel's own sharply attractive face. The piercings that looped between his nostrils and the back of his tongue did little to detract from the bred-in elegance, instead giving Ash the impression of a spoiled, petulant teenager rebelling against nothing.

Cedar's eyebrows quirked a bit, though subtly as Laurel gave them Ash's name. "The therapist, then."

"In a manner of speaking. I'm not really a licensed doctor."

"Right. Of course not." Cedar regarded him with what he could only describe as a measuring stare.

"Is this your first time hearing Ingrid play?" Ramor asked, nearly rubbing his temples with his fingertips already. He wasn't oblivious to the sudden tension and Cedar's light jab, but he didn't have much patience for it. He'd been enduring Nero, Laurel, and Cedar's petty little jabs at each other's dates for years. He'd never understood it, but it made him glad he preferred women.

"Yes, it is. My first time at any concert, really," Ash admitted. "I'm really grateful that Laurel invited me."

Cedar responded with a hum and a nod. "None of your other patients bring you to concerts? That must make it difficult to spend time with them outside of a professional setting."

"I don't spend time with patients outside of a professional setting," Ash responded, taken aback. Heaving a deep sigh, Ramor rolled his eyes to the ceiling.

"Oh, right. That would be strange, wouldn't it?" Cedar asked blandly, rubbing his chin. Blinking, Ash opened his mouth, but closed it again before speaking.

"It isn't like that, Cedar." Laurel explained, his voice drier than a desert. "Anyway, I have to go see my parents. We're all meeting up when Nero and March get back from their honeymoon, right?"

"Definitely," Ramor said, with a warning glance at Cedar.

"Maybe I'll bring my dentist," Cedar quipped thoughtfully, giving Laurel an equally dry look.

"Nice meeting you, Ash," Ramor called out to the pair's retreating backs. When he shifted his gaze back to Cedar, the man's face was all innocence.

"Sorry about that," Laurel apologized, giving Ash a sidelong glance as they continued the arduous trek to the other end of the room.

"Those are your friends, and Nero's too, right? You've all known each other a long time." And longtime tight-knit groups didn't like being jostled around and altered. Ash wondered how March had handled the awkwardness of trying to insert into the group.

"Really long, since we were little kids in school." Pursing his lips, Laurel blew out a breath. "I didn't think about how it would seem with us being a thing now, and the whole therapy deal… I hope he didn't upset you."

"It's alright. I can understand how he feels. He probably thinks I'm taking advantage of you." Despite Cedar's attitude toward him, Ash was glad Laurel had another friend that seemed to want to protect him.

"Well, you aren't."

"You don't have to tell me," Ash assured him, secretly pleased by the vehement insistence in Laurel's voice. "But there's no point in getting angry about it. You can explain the situation when you see him with Nero."

"We can explain the situation."

"You want me there, too?" Ash asked. The sudden excitement in his voice had Laurel's heart tumbling in his chest and blood rushing to his face.

"Well, you're staying in the castle anyway and we're meeting there, so it would be stupid if you didn't come," he mumbled, embarrassed. "It's normal to want you there anyway, isn't it? I mean, we are… together, aren't we? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Am I allowed to kiss you or is that kind of thing discouraged at these events?"

"I…" Swallowing in an attempt to moisten a throat that had suddenly become very dry, Laurel's fingers clenched. "What, did that turn you on or something? You're too easy." He tried to make his words sound dismissive, but couldn't quite manage it.

"Turn me on?" Ash asked, amused by his very transparent reaction. "You're just very adorable."

"It's not a religious ceremony or anything. If you're that desperate to kiss me where everybody can see."

Ah, he thought, remembering Laurel's confession to him about his reputation and how he'd worried Ash wouldn't want to be seen in public with him.

"Something sweet, then," he decided.

In a move so smooth Laurel almost couldn't anticipate it, the healer slipped an arm around his waist, tilting him back just the slightest bit, just enough to flirt with the illusion that they were horizontal, if only for a moment. He felt Ash's mouth brush over his, firm but gentle, lingering there just long enough to tease him and force the idea of possibilities into his head. The tug of arousal in his stomach was unexpected, a flutter of heat that spread out to his limbs as his lips were toyed with. When Ash pulled back, Laurel's eyes were glassy with adoration.

"I hope you know everyone's going to be talking about us now," he muttered, righting himself, though Ash's hands stayed comfortably cupped at his waist. He could feel dozens, if not more, pairs of eyes on them.

"Oh no," Ash said mockingly. Laurel hadn't realized how comforting sarcasm could be until that moment. "I'd hate it if everyone here got the crazy idea that we're seeing each other."

"Yeah, but…" He could feel that he was smiling, and probably looked like an idiot, despite the protest that thumped in his brain. "My parents are-"

"Laurel?" Perfectly on cue, the sweetly flowing cadence of Minael's voice made its way into their ears, words colored with surprise and, if Ash wasn't terribly mistaken, a bit of enthusiasm. When Laurel's face blanched, Ash watched over his shoulder as another oddly contrasting pair of men approached them. All of the tact and diplomacy Ash had been so impressed by seemed to disintegrate in the face of his parents as he stuttered out hasty introductions.

"So you're the reason Laurel's been notably absent around the house lately," Helio theorized, maneuvering Ash into a handshake with a grip so firm he wondered if his bones would explode under the pressure.

"I probably have something to do with that, yes. Sorry to monopolize him." After Laurel had taken those few days off for himself, they'd spent every day since together at the castle.

"Don't be silly," Minael lilted out, fluttering his lashes when his hand was shaken as well. In a way that reminded the healer very much of Ingrid, he pinked up prettily. "You're very charming, no? And very handsome."

"Dad," Laurel ground out, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Tell us about yourself, Ash." Helio's voice was firm, politely curious. But his eyes were coolly alert. "And how you came to meet our son."

The sharp blast of worry from Laurel's aura said all it needed to. They weren't aware of the arrangement to help treat the sorcerer's damaged magic.

"I'm more of a jack of all trades than any one particular thing," Ash explained, hoping the concept wasn't too foreign or off-putting. "Back home, I get commissioned to build and fix things. And I'm a healer, so I travel around to treat injuries and illnesses."

"Oh!" Minael realized, somewhat excitedly. "So your magic is different from ours. What is your family name?"

"I, ah… My magic comes from the Erisola bloodline. Healing magic," he repeated, hoping to give them something to focus on other than his strange phrasing.

"So you're just visiting here," Helio concluded. "Are you here for work?"

"I came here to do some work for the prince."

"So that's how you met Laurel, then! Through Prince Nero," Minael assumed, all sunny smiles when Ash confirmed it with a nod. When the lights in the room dimmed, signifying that the concert was soon to start, he made an excited little noise in his throat. "We've already been to our seats earlier, so we can lead you."

HE HADN'T EXPECTEDto feel moved by the tearful strains that swirled from the instruments onstage. But when the notes slithered over him, hauntingly, Ash thought maybe he could understand the ache of whoever had composed it. It sounded like heartbreak. When the first song finished, he took the opportunity of the light clapping to lean in close to whisper to Laurel.

"Your parents don't seem to despise me or anything." A hugely welcome relief in a relationship where it seemed every force, both tangible and intangible, seemed determined to wedge difficulties between them.

"My dad obviously finds you to be very charming."

"He's terribly cute. I can see where you get it from."

"Oh my god, shut up," Laurel hissed, glancing over to where Minael and Helio were clapping. "If he hears you he'll invite you back to our house so you can keep flattering him."

"And that would be a bad thing why?"

"Because." The edgy embarrassment in the answer had Ash glancing over to him curiously. He was blushing, bordering on a pout, staring straight ahead at the stage.

"You don't want me to come over?"

"I want to be alone with you tonight."

The implication in the statement had the muscles in Ash's stomach clenching, but he only gave a nod. "Any particular reason you're so eager to be alone with me?"

Laurel turned, glowering for a moment, before looking away again, as if the eye contact was too much for him to bear. "You're the one who kissed me like that in front of everyone."

When the applause died down, the musicians launching into another set of notes, happier this time, sharp little staccatos that made him think of darting hummingbirds, he stayed silent. But he couldn't stop himself from glancing over, subtly, to watch the steady rise and fall of the sorcerer's chest as he listened.

When all was said and done, the audience rising from their seats to rain applause over the orchestra, Ash followed their lead. Afterward, when they all came backstage to congratulate Ingrid, she was flushed with excitement, and visibly beaming as Laurel and her parents fawned over her.

"Laurel didn't tell me he'd bring you!" She said breathlessly, wrapping Ash in a hug when she finally noticed him. "Did you like it?"

"Of course!" He answered sincerely. "You're so talented. I've never really heard music like that."

"I'll play for you anytime!" She told him, then her eyes widened again as she absorbed the meaning of his presence. "Did he introduce you to our parents?" She asked, lowering her voice a bit.

"Before the concert. Seemed like it went alright."

"I'll put in a good word for you, now that they know you exist and everything," she promised, giggling a bit when he mimed a gesture of gratitude, bringing his eyes comically wide to show her the depth of his feeling.

"You're heaven-sent. I couldn't ask for a lovelier sister-in-law."

She goggled at him, though his compliment had her fluttering. "Does Laurel know you say things like that?"

"He's getting used to it," Ash assured her, before his mouth twitched up into a grin. "Slowly."

ALL IN ALL, the night had gone splendidly, and Ash had no complaints. Until they'd gone to leave, Laurel's hand tucked and threaded tightly through his arm, clinging to his side. He was chattering a bit, high on the smooth sweetness of the night, and how he hadn't butted up against a wall of problems with his parents meeting his date.

Because he found the sugary, unguarded mood incredibly adorable, Ash let him babble on without answering as they loitered near the exit. They'd said their goodbyes, with the healer trying to look as chaste and virtuous as possible, as if he'd never once even pondered the idea of sex, when Helio had asked if Laurel would be coming home tonight.

And then suddenly, as he was gliding in the cotton candy-colored clouds of Laurel's soft mood, a wave of icy dread crashed over him with such intensity he nearly choked. Looking around wildly for the source of the feeling, as if defending himself from an attack, he felt the sorcerer's body tighten in a fierce shudder against his side.

"Hello, Laurel. I wondered if I would see you tonight."

The man was tall, even an inch or so taller than Laurel, a fairly impressive feat on its own. But his rigid posture and the thinly veiled superiority in his eyes gave him the illusion of even more height. He was handsome, the uncanny sort of attractiveness that Ash had already begun feeling sick of.

"Malory." Laurel's voice was weak, thin, as if it were coming from far away. As if his very essence were fading away, Ash thought, unnerved.

When Malory leaned in as if to kiss Laurel's cheek, Ash felt his hand tighten on him, could hear his soft intake of horrified breath. Subtly shifting his form to tuck the sorcerer behind him, Ash flicked a warning glance at the dark-haired man. Seeming to understand, Malory eased back, though one of his eyebrows cocked in surprise.

"Pardon me. I don't believe we've met." His voice was polished, and cultured, but there was a bite lingering on the back of it. Another man, younger, with softer features and dark skin that gleamed like dusky gold in the dim lighting of the event hall, looked supremely uncomfortable at Malory's side.

"No, I don't think we have. I'm Ash." Unable to stand the harsh edges of Laurel's unencumbered terror, Ash let a few drips of his cooling, calming energy flow from his fingertips into the sorcerer's consciousness. Just enough that he could breathe again.

"Malory von Aurant. This is my fiancé, Avi Kliodne."

"Congratulations on your engagement." Ash gave a nod to Avi as well, keeping his voice easy as he assessed the speed at which his magic was dulling Laurel's horror.

"Congratulations," Laurel added, though the word had a practiced feel to it, as if he were reading off a script.

"I told your parents you're welcome to come to the wedding. I hope they passed on my message. You're welcome to bring your… date as well, if you'd like."

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm busy that day." Much to Ash's relief, Laurel's voice had regained a bit of the spine he was known for having.

"Oh?" Malory tilted his head curiously, as if he was owed some sort of explanation.

Used to the older male's sense of entitlement, Laurel only stared coolly as he obliged. "I'll find something to do, I'm sure."

"I see. If that's what you want. I'm sorry you seem to find it so difficult to be in my presence. I hope it hasn't caused you any problems in any of our social circles."

"We don't share any social circles," Laurel reminded him. "You always hated my friends, remember?"

Acknowledging the truth of the statement with a light sound, Malory nodded. "Unpleasant, but true. I heard you've been attending therapy. It seems to agree with you. You look much happier than the last time I saw you."

"That was an eminently low threshold to surpass, but thank you. I am much happier."

"I'm glad to hear it. Your sporadic little moods always worried me. On the ceiling one day, plunged into the depths of despair the next. You must be very patient," he added, glancing to Ash, who only blinked.

"I must be," he agreed. The rage churning in him was like a snarling hound, straining to break free of the choke chain restraining it. But his face was placid, like the surface of a lake in the dead of night. "I've heard it's a virtue."

"For doormats who would forsake their own needs to cater to the needs of others, perhaps." Malory buffed his nails on his finely threaded coat, allowing a moment to pass before slyly dragging his gaze to Laurel's. "I've always preferred taking what I want, and dealing with the inevitable backlash later."

"A bold strategy," Ash spoke up, though the words, the hissing threat behind them, had tossed a chill over his skin. "Though I find causing indiscriminate bouts of backlash tends to blow up in one"s face eventually. Regardless, you caught us as we were just leaving."

"Of course." Malory gestured to the door. "It was lovely seeing you again, Laurel. We'll have to do it again soon."

"I hope not. Have a good night. And best wishes," he added, with a polite nod to Avi.

With a brisk pace to the carriage, Ash could hear Laurel's breath begin to heave out in ragged rips. "Don't," the sorcerer ground out when he attempted to put an arm around him. "Just wait for us to get out of sight. I don't want to look weak. Please."

Obligingly, Ash let Laurel load in before him. Once they were inside, Ash drew the curtains on the windows to the center, so they were safe from the eyes of anyone who may have been passing by. It was dark in the carriage, but the moonlight that seeped in through the edges allowed him enough sight to scoop Laurel up and hold him to his chest, settling them securely onto the cushioned bench.

Unprotesting, Laurel allowed himself to be held, pressing his face into the healer's shoulder, grateful for the darkness they were submerged in.

"Do you want to talk about it, gorgeous?"

He did, and he didn't. It was like a poison bubbling inside him, eating away at him. But he wasn't sure if releasing it would drain the venom from his body and heal him, or if it would only infect Ash, too.

"Can you just… Hold onto me for a little bit? While I talk?"

"There isn't a force on this planet powerful enough to get me to let you go right now, Laurel."

Satisfied with the answer, and with his trust in it, Laurel gave a small nod. "Thank you, for… For calming me down back there. I wasn't expecting to see him, and I was overwhelmed. And you handled it very well."

"Of course. It scared me, how you were feeling. I couldn't stand it. Who is he?"

"He's my… Well, that's the guy I was telling you about. I dated him for awhile, a few years ago. My parents, and his parents, set us up."

"This is the one they had a hard time accepting your breakup with."

"Right. Everyone thought we were perfect for each other. I think everyone still does, probably."

"Are you upset that he's getting married? I mean, did it hurt you to see him with someone else?"

To Ash's surprise, Laurel let out a sharp laugh, tinged with a mild hysteria.

"No. God, no. It's not like that. I don't care who he's with."

"Did he break your heart?"

Only Ash, Laurel thought, would hold him and stroke his hair and murmur softly into his ear, even if the reason for his anguish was heartbreak over another guy. "Yes. But not in the way you're meaning it. I broke up with him. And I was glad. I've never, ever wanted to be back with him."

"How did he hurt you?"

Inhaling deeply, Laurel nuzzled more deeply into the juncture of the healer's neck and shoulder, like he wanted to sink into him. Understanding, Ash gripped him tighter, stroking light lines onto his skin with his thumbs.

"He… Didn't treat me very well. That's what I'm in therapy for." Even admitting that, that his therapy was the result of Malory's mistreatment, had Laurel's head spinning. Grateful for the lingering calmness from Ash's magic, he continued. "It wasn't my fault, I didn't deserve it. That kind of thing. You know what I mean."

Like Malory's words inside, the ominous threat that lurked had Ash's skin going ice cold. "What did he do to you, Laurel?" When he received no response, he felt the chill sink into his skin and fill his veins with ice. But he didn't need a response. Clips of strained conversation, flashes of Laurel's haunted expressions, sensory memories of dread and fear and despondency, were playing in his head like a fireworks show.

The way he'd jerked back from being touched at their first meeting. Nero's hesitance to explain the source of his trauma. The hopeless mistrust he'd had to barrel through. The broken magic. The hesitance to open up, the fear of what Ash's response would be when he finally did.

I've always preferred taking what I want.

The knowledge exploded in his head like a shattered window, leaving jagged, broken shards scattered in its wake. Fury, like he'd never experienced, roared through him like a wildfire, leaving him scorched. But there was no outlet, nowhere to channel the blistering, hateful emotion. There was only Laurel, trembling a bit now at the stretch of silence.

"I'm sorry." It was pitiful, disgustingly so, but he had no other words. "I could kill him, if you want. I mean, I don't think I could get away with it, but I'd be willing to do that for you. I could make it slow." And for the first time in his life, he thought he could truly revel in the suffering of another human being.

Laurel shook his head, quivering now with the effort to hold back his tears. "Please don't. I know everyone always says this, but he isn't worth it. Truly. If I lost you because of him, I don't know what I'd do."

"You can cry. You'll feel better. I promise you."

He'd known it, but the quiet reassurance in Ash's words broke his resolve not to, so he did. It didn't hurt quite as badly as he'd once thought it would. There was a wild sort of freedom in it, and the distinct lessening of pressure, like a tight knot in his chest he'd only vaguely been aware of was unraveling, dissolving. Still, he wasn't the type to wallow in the indulgence, so when his tears were done, he shivered, dragging his face across the healer's already dampened shoulder.

"I didn't want you to know about this. I don't want you thinking of me as some victim."

"You're one of the strongest people I've ever known. And you know what I think of you." When Laurel's face finally lifted to his, the power that simmered in the meeting of their eyes was staggering. He moved his hand to nudge golden bangs off the sorcerer's forehead. "My brooding, forlorn fairy king with tears like crystals on your cheeks. This doesn't change anything between us. You know that. I showed you what I feel for you."

"I know. And I believe you. It's just… It's going to be so hard. For you to… To see that. In my head. I don't know if I can stand it."

"Don't think of it that way," Ash begged, framing the other man's face with his hands. "I'd do anything for you. Anything. You deserve so much, Laurel. You deserve everything that's good in this world. You know that, right?"

His heart was floating in his chest, like it was suspended in the sweetest, thickest nectar known to mankind. "You're kind of already making me feel like I have everything."

I love you.The words formed in Ash's brain, took flight to his mouth. Snatching them back ruthlessly, he felt his fingers tense on either side of Laurel's jaw with the effort. It wasn't the right time.

"I'll take you home tonight. Or you can stay with me. Either way is fine. Whatever makes you feel okay, sunshine."

"Will you keep holding onto me?"

"For as long as you need me to," he promised. "That goes for forever, not just for tonight."

"I'll try to remember that."