Chapter 17

Mia

Over the next few days, things only got worse. Mia spent time with the children in the morning and fed them lunch, and then Mrs. Jenkins watched them so she could go over to Ella's house. Mia had thought of talking to Caleb, but he was becoming bitter and angry. She wondered if he blamed her for this, but she couldn't tell. He would no longer talk to her.

One day at Ella's house, Mia fixed lunch as Ella sat in a chair, rocking Blake. Hannah was fast asleep in the cradle. Mia had moved it to the kitchen temporarily.

"How are things going?" Ella asked as she burped the baby.

Mia knew she was watching her. She had been wearing her best Poker face all morning, but she should have known better. Ella could always see right through her.

"Not that I don't enjoy your company or appreciate the help," Ella pressed, "but why are you here and not at home with your own family?"

Colton was working in the barn, so they could speak freely.

"I don't have a family."

Ella's mouth fell open. "What do you mean? Of course you have a family."

Mia shook her head, fighting back tears. "They're Caleb's children. Not mine," she said, her voice merely a whisper. "But I want them to be."

"Oh, Mia." Ella walked over and wrapped her arm around her while she held the baby, letting her cry on her shoulder. Mia had been trying to hold it together, but to no avail. "It's not getting any better?"

Mia shook her head, drying her tears. "It's getting to the point where he won't even look at me now. He's angry and getting bitter." Mia pulled the ham she was frying off the stove and sat down with Ella.

"Why?" Ella asked, concerned as she absentmindedly started rocking the baby again.

Mia shook her head. "Because he's still in love with Jessica but he's married to me." She threw her hands up in the air. "Ella, I feel as if I'm fighting a ghost. But I can't fight anymore." Tears rolled down her cheeks. "When I go home, I feel lonely in a house filled with people." She wiped the tears away.

"Mia, give it time—"

"Ella, I have," she cut her off, and then lowered her voice to keep from waking the babies. "I don't know what else to do. People say to be patient, and I'm patient. People say to pray, and I pray. But nothing helps. He's still not willing to open his heart to me." She let out a deep breath. "The only thing I know is that I can't keep going on this way."

Ella reached over and squeezed her hand. "Mia, don't give up. It'll get—"

"Ella, please don't tell me that it'll get better." She sat on a chair, shaking her head. "I'm so sorry. I guess I'm starting to become bitter, too."

Ella patted her hand. "It's okay. You don't need to apologize to me."

"So, how are things going with you?" Mia asked, concerned. "How are you feeling?"

Ella smiled. "I'm feeling better now. Thank you."

Mia was grateful that she let her change the subject. "So, how do you like being a mother?"

A broad grin spread across Ella's face. "I love it. Honestly, I thought I would be a mother to just one child at a time. But I'm so glad that we had twins."

Mia listened, happy that Ella had found true happiness. As she listened, Mia knew that was how marriage and having a family was supposed to be. She was not meant to be a stand-in mother. A stand-in wife. Mia had no idea what was going to happen, but she knew that she couldn't go on like this for much longer. She needed love and wanted a family of her own.

But maybe Caleb and the children could be her family after all. She resolved herself to try one last time, but she had a feeling that she was only kidding herself.

During lunch, she smiled and nodded at the right times, but she wasn't herself. She was beginning to die a little inside each day the longer this went on.

"Ella, I won't be over tomorrow," she said after she finished the dishes. "Will you and the babies be okay?"

Ella smiled as she pulled her in for a little hug. "We'll be just fine. Don't you worry one bit." She took the dishtowel from her hand. "You go on home and talk to Caleb. I can take it from here. But I'm so glad you came to visit."

Mia chuckled. "Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"How did you guess?" Ella teased as she held her shoulders. "I'll tell you what. When you have some free time, let's get together with Madison and maybe a few other ladies. Maybe for an afternoon tea?"

Mia smiled as her eyebrows pulled together in concern. "Are you sure you're up for it?"

Ella shrugged. "Umm… let's see." She placed her finger to her chin as she pretended to think. "Have time with my friends? Always."

Mia laughed. "No matter what happens between Caleb and me, I'm so glad we had this time together."

Ella pulled her in for another hug. "Don't give up, Mia. It's not over yet."

Mia nodded, hoping she was right.