Chapter 17

‘Woah,' Gita said after I had spilled my guts to her and Emily. It was after work and we were at the bar opposite the office again. We'd all stayed late to make sure all our work was finished then headed here for wine. It was much busier as it was Friday night but we'd found a corner table by the window, and I had told them how I really knew Noah. I couldn't bring myself to admit to the kiss outside the bookshop though. We had both agreed it had been a mistake so I had to try to forget all about it, no matter how hard that might prove to be.

‘You can't tell anyone though,' I begged.

‘Well, of course not,' Emily said, waving her hand. ‘I knew there was something in the air between you two. Sexual tension.'

I snorted. ‘Just tension more like.'

‘So, when you walked in that first day…'

I nodded. ‘I had no idea my new boss was my ex-boyfriend. And it's so hard to focus on this new job working with him.'

‘Well, he's more of a dick than I first thought if he dumped you,' Emily said.

‘Yes,' Gita agreed. ‘You were the best thing that happened to him.'

‘How do you know that?' I asked with an appreciative laugh.

Gita waved her hand. ‘It's obvious. I see the way he looks at you; it's like he knows it too.'

‘I don't think so,' I said, wishing she was right about that. ‘But he has said some things… and the bookshop where we met? He bought it. He said he didn't want it to disappear.'

‘Oh, that's romantic,' Emily said dreamily. ‘Who knew our big bad boss had such a sweet, sentimental side to him?'

‘You're supposed to be giving me a pep talk to forget him,' I reminded her. It was such a beautiful gesture though. Damn it. I buried my head in my hands. ‘I can't believe the universe has done this to me.'

‘What will you do?' Gita asked.

‘I keep telling myself I only have to stay for six months and get this experience on my CV then I can look for another publishing job.'

‘Solid plan,' Emily said, nodding along. ‘And we will be joining you if things don't get better. I'm sorry, Stevie. It must suck working with your ex.'

‘It really does suck,' I agreed, draining the remainder of my wine glass.

‘But everyone in the office loves you and hates him so everyone is on your side even though they don't know it,' Gita said. ‘And I bet Noah regrets running off to New York. Seeing you again must have made him see what a mistake he made.'

I smiled. ‘You're too sweet. I'd be lying if I said I didn't hope that was the case, but I don't think it is. Noah is so stressed at work that I doubt he's even thinking about me.'

I didn't like how annoyed that made me feel. I wanted him to be thinking about me as much as I was about him, I couldn't lie.

‘He seems pretty worried about his father coming over,' Gita observed.

‘I never met him,' I said. ‘I don't understand why Noah wants to work with him if he's that bad though.'

Emily shrugged. ‘Family pressure maybe. I guess we have to help and make it go well but after hearing your story, I kind of want to sabotage it,' she said with a mischievous grin.

‘We'd only be sabotaging ourselves though,' Gita pointed out.

‘I suppose so,' Emily huffed.

‘Let's hope we make it out the other side,' I said. I smiled at them. ‘I'm glad I told you both. I thought that I should keep it a secret but it's really hard working with him every day.'

‘Of course it is,' Emily said. ‘I'd hate to even see any of my exes, let alone have them as my bloody boss! You are a braver woman than me, Stevie, and we are now a team, okay? We will get through this together and in six months, we'll find amazing new jobs and stick both fingers up at Noah on our way out.'

We clinked glasses to that but I knew it would be far easier said than done.

Monday morning arrived and I woke up an hour before my alarm after a restless night, nerves high for the morning ahead. It felt important to impress Mr Matthews. And I got the distinct feeling he was not an easy man to impress. At least he knew nothing about mine and Noah's past. We'd never met before. I was nothing to him but a member of staff. And I knew I could do this job. I needed to be confident and get through this.

I put on the dress that made me feel the most capable and the headband my parents got me for Christmas for good luck. And I stopped off for an iced latte on the way in for a caffeine kickstart.

Good luck! You've got this! I'm still cheering you on!xxx

I smiled at the message from Liv. I'd told her what was happening today when we had coffee at the weekend, and she reminded me that however nervous I was, Noah would be feeling much worse, and that was true; he had everything riding on this. I knew we had to put our situation to one side, and that was actually a relief.

When I walked in, Emily rushed out of the office floor and met me in reception. She looked frantic. Not a great start to the morning.

‘Have you heard anything from Noah?'

‘No, why?' I checked the time. It was ten to eight. We were all supposed to be in by 8a.m. I would have thought Noah would have been the first one in.

‘He's not here,' she hissed. ‘But his father is. And we thought Noah was bad tempered…' She shook her head. ‘Anyway, where the hell is he?'

‘Has anyone called him?'

‘No, we didn't think of that!' Emily tutted. ‘Of course we have, and emailed, but nothing. His father is waiting in his office and looks pissed.'

I leaned past her and saw everyone in the office standing around nervously.

I really didn't want to say what I was about to, but I sighed. ‘I could check his flat, I suppose.'

‘Are you sure?' she asked. ‘Will it be too awkward?'

‘I'm not sure we have any choice,' I said reluctantly.

‘It makes no sense him not being here.'

‘No, it doesn't.' I bit my lip, wondering if I should be worried. ‘Okay, tell Mr Matthews that we think there's been a mix up and Noah went to the airport to pick him up,' I said, turning back to the lift.

‘Good thinking! Text me as soon as you find him!'

I stepped into the lift. ‘I will.'

Emily gave me a wave as the door shut.

I was confused. Noah had been so stressed about his father coming to the office, so where the hell was he? I walked out of the building and flagged down a taxi. On my salary, I would usually either walk or take the Tube but this was an emergency. I gave the driver Noah's address that I still knew off by heart, and we set off towards the river.

Noah's flat was in a plush, modern building overlooking the Thames, and yes, he lived in the penthouse. I don't know why I hadn't twigged there was more to his family than he'd told me as soon as I went there but I guess the cliché is true – love really is blind.

Walking into the lobby, I saw with relief that the concierge I knew was still there. I had practically lived here once and seen this man a lot, and he had rung me about a parcel, but that had been five years go so I wasn't sure if he would still recognise my face.

‘I don't know if you remember me?—'

‘Stevie!' He beamed. ‘Of course I remember you. Are you here to see Mr Matthews? You must be so happy he's back.'

I forced on a smile. ‘Yes, is it okay to go up?'

‘You're always on the green list,' he said cheerfully. ‘Go on up, and it's good to see you!'

I thanked him and headed to the lift. My heart was pounding in my chest as I rode up to the penthouse. My mind flashed back to all the times I'd stayed in this flat. I had actually thought Noah was going to ask me to move in when he'd said he had something important to talk about. But then he'd told me he was moving to New York without me.

The doors opened then, and I was in front of his door. I couldn't believe I was having to do this but I thought about all my colleagues and knew they needed Noah there.

I took a breath and rapped on his front door.