Chapter Twenty

J acob sensed Anna was standing in the doorway before she knocked. Her scent infiltrated the room, an intoxicating blend of roses and lavender, but that wasn't all of it. Jacob could also smell himself on her. Sleeping together had created a unique mixture that clung to her, spicy and sweet, that would forever alter his consciousness. He'd been reduced to a bloodhound. He could locate Anna anywhere.

"Are you going to come in?" he asked, pretending to study the papers on his desk. It was all a ruse. He couldn't concentrate when she was so close. Hell, he'd barely been able to write a complete sentence since she had set foot in his house.

Anna lowered her hand, which had been poised to knock, and stepped lightly into the office. She made a point of wandering around the space, lifting random tomes from the shelves. Jacob watched her fingers trip along the various articles, gliding over book spines and smooth wood. He wanted those fingers to skate over his body; he wanted her to explore him with equal curiosity.

She lifted a stack of papers from his desk with a playful grunt. "I didn't expect this. It's much more cluttered than your cottage." Your . The word stung him. He'd begun to call it "theirs" in his mind.

Jacob took the stack out of her grasp and placed it neatly back where she found it. "I inherited it this way," he said gruffly. Straightening his shoulders, he shoved his hands in his pockets. "I don't care what it looks like, not enough to go to the trouble of changing it."

Anna nodded, though her brow pinched in between her eyes. She crossed her arms, scrutinizing his space. Jacob followed her lead, regarding the room that he spent most of his waking hours in. He'd never taken the time to judge it before. The yellow and red wallpaper and dark brown molding seemed fitting enough. He didn't particularly enjoy the color scheme, nor the fact that the old viscount had an obvious affinity for jungle animal figurines, but who was he to complain? If it was good enough for the old man, then it was good enough for him.

She lifted an onyx jaguar statue from a side table, scrunching her nose as she inspected it. "This doesn't seem like you."

Jacob scowled. Should be offended? Shouldn't all men want a woman to compare them with a sinewy beast, a king of any forest? He tried to pull forth indignation, but it proved too difficult. Jacob hated that ridiculous piece. Small red gems were inserted in the eye pockets, giving it a satanic appearance. It was why he always positioned it to look away from him. How could anyone expect him to think with that monstrosity directed at him?

"As I said," he replied, "it came with the house."

Anna returned it to its place. "And the house is now yours."

"And?"

"And you should make it feel like yours." She came toward him, and the more space she ate up between them, the more vulnerable Jacob felt. Was it what she said or her mere presence that did this to him?

Both . It was both.

Anna walked around his desk, stopping in front of him. "Maybe if you made this home feel more like yours then you wouldn't have to hide in the cottage so much."

"I thought you liked our little cottage," he teased. It was the only way he could put her on the defensive. Jacob didn't want to speak about his lack of decorating skills. He didn't want to discuss why he assumed the old viscount's dismal taste was probably better than anything he could dream up. With Anna so close, smiling so mysteriously, all he wanted to do was throw her down on his desk and ravish her. He only cared about the function of his furniture. Would it hold their weight? He didn't give one fuck about the form of it all.

Finally, Anna's little smile faltered, and he noticed her growing skittish.

Jacob took pity on her. "Did you have something you wanted to ask me?"

She lowered her head, seeming to need a moment to gain her confidence. Now he was truly intrigued. The past few days had created a fellowship between them, a bonding of mind and body. What could she be contemplating that would make her so nervous?

Jacob could no longer restrain himself. He reached out and wrapped his hands around her forearms, but when he tried to bring her closer, Anna resisted.

"No, wait," she said, placing her palms on his chest. Jacob stretched his neck from side to side. He loved it when she touched him there, usually because she would unbutton his shirt slowly, unmercifully next. However, her fingers didn't budge this time. They stayed exactly where they were.

"I need to thank you for inviting the ladies over," she began after a fortifying breath. "They were just what I needed."

"Of course," Jacob returned gruffly. It was difficult to accept thanks when visions of her naked body were dancing in his head. He felt like a degenerate wastrel.

Anna went on, "But I need to ask for more of your generosity."

"Yes?"

"The club has asked me to spearhead a cricket clinic for the young girls in town. I want it to be a success, and the only way I will be able to do that is if we get the word out."

Did she know her fingers were moving? Because Jacob surely did. They were playing with his button. How could her fiddling with such a small, inanimate object make his cock stiffen to attention so quickly?

He shifted his weight on his feet, flattened her palm on his chest, and lowered his forehead. "If you want me to actually listen to what you're saying then you should stop doing that."

"Oh! Yes … sorry."

"Go on."

Anna frowned. "Right. Yes…"

Jacob lifted his brow. "You want the clinic to be a success…"

She slapped her hand against him. "Yes! A success. So, we need as many families to know as possible, which means an article in the newspaper. So would you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Write an article about the clinic?"

Jacob was stumped. She was asking him to write about the club? His natural response was to say no. He had already told her that that life was behind him. Viscounts didn't have professions. But the way she was staring up at him, her green eyes hopeful and wide as she bit into the side of her cheek, Jacob felt like he was seven feet tall. He felt like a knight of the Round Table. He felt like he belonged… to her.

So he wasn't as bewildered as he should have been when he heard himself reply, "Of course." It was just one little article. Surely he could do that much without causing a stir.

Jacob knew he'd made the right decision when her grin, so wide and beautiful, struck him straight in the heart like Cupid had shot an arrow with all his might.

Anna wrapped her arms around his neck. "Oh, thank you, thank you," she cried. "I didn't want to ask because of what we'd talked about before, but I was desperate and I really want this to go well. I have to show the others that I can be a leader, and you're the only person I know who works for the papers, and I can't believe I'm going to do this… I really don't have that much time. I better get started… maybe I should ask Beatrice to help, although I'm not sure if that's a good idea, since her mind is stuck in the kitchens. What do you think? Oh, don't answer that. You're busy. Here I am taking up all your time. I should let you get back to whatever it is you were doing."

Jacob laughed through the whirlwind of words. He didn't even try to make sense of all that she said. He was just happy that she was happy—and doing something. Who would have thought that having a purpose meant so much to women? Perhaps more men should register this important fact.

"All right. All right," he said, unwrapping her arms from his neck. "Don't you know I'm a viscount? I'm a very important man with very important things to do."

Anna smirked. "Oh, yes, how could I forget?" She rose to her tiptoes and brushed a kiss on Jacob's cheek. He jerked back as if he'd been scalded. Didn't she know what she did to him? How could she expect to do that and then just leave as if it were nothing? Was it nothing to her?

She edged around the desk toward the door, her hips swinging merrily along the way. Jacob was just about to fall into his chair when she turned around suddenly.

"Oh, I should mention that I've moved out of the cottage," she announced.

The ease with which she said the words were like a knife in Jacob's gut. Was it all over? And so quickly? She didn't need him anymore… and that was that.

He struggled to keep his cool, to stay nonchalant with the unexpected report. "Right," he replied placidly. "Yes… that makes sense. Now that you're feeling better."

Anna's expression fell, but he couldn't read it. To be fair, Jacob was having a difficult time looking at her. He was afraid that if he gave her the chance to peer into his eyes, she would see how upset he was.

"I can't thank you enough for what you did," Anna said. Even those simple words made him burn with shame. They were laced with sympathy… for him.

"It was nothing," Jacob said, his face like stone. He picked up the papers on his desk once more and shuffled them straight. God, he felt like an idiot, but he needed to do something while the woman ripped his heart out of his chest and threw it on the ground. "Good day, Anna."

"Oh, oh, yes… good day," she replied slowly. After a pause, she turned once more to the door, as if she still had more on her mind. Why wouldn't the woman leave? What more could she possibly have to say to him?

Jacob sat down in his chair, hoping that would be enough to encourage her out of the room for good. Yes… for good. He didn't need her ever coming back in. It would hurt too damned much.

Anna's skirts fanned as she twirled back to face him.

Jacob couldn't hide his grimace. In frustration, he dropped his head, just narrowly missing hitting his forehead on the wood.

"What now?" he asked pathetically. A man could only take so much distraction!

"I would like to come to you tonight… in your room," she said quickly. She folded her hands primly in front of her. "I would like to… be intimate… have relations… If that is agreeable to you?" She didn't wait for a response. "So, you should expect me after dinner, after everyone has gone to bed. Good? Good. Have a pleasant afternoon, Jacob."

Anna finally fled the room.

She wasn't there to see Jacob's forehead hit the desktop.

*

"What's wrong with you tonight? You've already broken one glass, and if you aren't careful, you're going to break another!"

Jacob blinked, staring down the table at his mother, who had just chided him in front of the entire party. A few snickers were heard as he muttered an apology. He released the stem of his wine glass and carefully slid his hand away from the precious crystal. Drinking wasn't as good an idea as he'd thought it would be. He'd hoped it would settle his nerves, but it was making him feel like a discombobulated child.

"Is anything wrong?" Anna asked. She sat two places away on his right, but Jacob could still spot the suggestive half-smile she wore as she tucked into her sole. The little minx. She knew what she was doing. And she was enjoying every bit of his discomfort!

"I'm fine," he returned, showing her his teeth. Anna looked away. Yes. Very smart . Be careful, little one. This wolf likes to play but he can also bite.

Mrs. Wright spared them each a shrewd glance; clearly, his mother knew something was going on between them, but she hadn't figured out what it was yet. Thank the Lord for small mercies.

"We're so happy to see that you are feeling better, Anna," she said. She smiled at Sir John, who couldn't contain the glee he felt in having his daughter back with the group.

"Yes," David added generously, elbowing his sister playfully in the side. "It wasn't the same without you."

Anna brushed away the attention with a little laugh. "I was just tired. A little peace and quiet was all that I needed. The last few weeks have been rather stimulating."

"I think we can all agree with that," Aunt Iris said. "But we did miss you."

"I missed you too," Anna replied shyly.

Phillip shifted self-importantly in his seat. Jacob noted how he adored being the center of attention. The man had a knack for bringing every conversation back to him. "You know, I learned something in India that might be of use to you," he said, waiting for all eyes to float his way. "It's something the mystics teach. Apparently, you sit quietly alone and empty your mind. A meditation of sorts. It's supposed to be rather helpful for settling the nerves." He sniffed. "Or so they say."

"What do you mean, ‘empty your mind'?" Beatrice asked.

Phillip leaned toward her conspiratorially, his lips contorting into a smile. Jacob darted a glance at Sir John, who didn't appear to appreciate Phillip's closeness to his young daughter. Why was the blasted man still here? For Anna's sake, Jacob refused to ask him to leave, but his presence was such a nuisance. Didn't the man have his own home to return to? What more could he need from Sir John's family?

"Well, I have to confess that this is where it gets confusing," Phillip explained. "One must sit for long periods of time and try not to think of anything." He pretended to pluck something from Beatrice's hair and toss it up in the air. "Cull your thoughts the moment they come to you."

"And then what?" Beatrice asked.

Phillip shrugged, returning to his plate. "And then something happens."

"But don't you have to think about something to happen for it to happen?"

Aunt Iris picked up her wine glass. "This is getting much too philosophical for me."

Phillip chuckled. "Forgive me. This isn't a proper conversation for ladies. I should have known that you would have a difficult time understanding the concept. It's ridiculous anyway. The people who do this meditation also believe in reincarnation. It's complete nonsense."

Anna's eyes narrowed into slits. "How lucky we are to have you always looking out for our best interests," she said, her tone chilly.

Phillip raised his glass to her with a tight smile, but she didn't repeat the gesture.

"Oh, do go on, Mr. Williams," Violet implored, leaning her elbows on the table. "What is supposed to happen if you clear your mind?"

Phillip stared at the offending elbows before continuing. "I must admit, I'm not an expert on the topic."

Anna snorted.

"I think I can answer," David said. "From what I've been told, one must clear one's mind in order to reach Nirvana."

"Nirwanna?" Sir John asked.

"Nirvana, Father," David explained patiently. "It's a term for spiritual enlightenment. Many religions in the east believe it."

"Well, I daresay enlightenment most certainly could be useful," Sir John said cautiously. "Even the spiritual kind." Mrs. Wright patted his arm in agreement.

David smiled. "It's supposed to be incredibly difficult to achieve. I've tried meditating, but I need lots more practice if I ever hope to master it."

"You practice this?" Beatrice asked. "Clearing your mind?"

David nodded. "It's actually incredibly calming. It can be beneficial especially if one has scattered, errant thoughts."

Jacob chuckled to himself. He doubted that all the meditation in the world could help his disjointed thoughts at the moment. He couldn't get Anna out of his mind. Would she truly come to him tonight? Why now? Did the answer have to matter so much?

"What does it feel like to reach Nirvana?" Beatrice asked.

"I have no idea," David replied. "I've never experienced it. But I read that it means complete peace, a release from suffering, a departure from the physical world."

Beatrice studied her brother, growing more animated. "Like heaven?"

"I think so," David said slowly.

"Do we have to die if we reach it?"

"I don't think so." The poor man was completely out of his element.

Beatrice looked around the table. "Oh, well then, that's lovely to hear." She clapped her hands. "I want to do it. Let's find it tonight, shall we? This Nirvana!"

Aunt Violet raised her glass of wine. "Oh yes, I want to find Nirvana. I'm sure this meditating can't be that hard—no offense, David. Let's do it in the drawing room!"

"Ooh!" Aunt Iris squealed. "I'll bring biscuits in case anyone gets hungry! Meditating will be so much more fun than another card game." She turned to her nephew. "What about you, Jacob? Any interest?"

"Christ, no," he stated firmly. "No offense, David."

"Not at all, but I really must warn you all—"

But it was too late. The horse had bolted. David had sold the activity too well.

He attempted to rein in the excited conversations. "Ladies, no, I… I'm not sure that's how it works…"

However, the determined chatter could not be broken. A goal had been set. Nothing would stand in the way of the party's feverish belief in its capabilities. Nirvana would be reached tonight, no matter what.

For his part, Jacob sat back and enjoyed the frenzied discourse. He would thank David later. With the house focused on achieving this new endeavor, he could slip out early and wait for Anna to come to his room in peace.

Though he wished them luck. He wouldn't need it.

Jacob had no doubt he would find his own source of enlightenment tonight… in the crux of Anna's thighs.