Chapter 14

"We should probably get some sleep." I exhale a heavy breath when I walk back into the kitchen, grabbing my unopened water bottle from the counter, taking a sip.

I can feel Summer's eyes on me. She's focused on my throat as I swallow another sip and watch her pull her chin down before she looks away.

"Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks for letting me stay here." Summer walks by me slowly, bumping her elbow into my side as she passes.

The only thing that feels appropriate right now is a firm nod before I exit the kitchen and walk to the living room to get my bed for the night situated.

Summer disappears down the hall and I hear a click as my bedroom door closes. I can't for the life of me explain the way I've acted over the last few hours. I haven't let myself flirt with a woman in years, and never in a million years would I have thought the first woman I let my guard down for would be Summer fucking Kincaid. But I can't deny it's easy to be a little carefree with her. It's easy to not take things so seriously because that's how she lives.

Her little comments and jokes didn't annoy me tonight like they so often do. In fact, I welcomed them, I wanted them. I wanted for a moment to feel like I could be a little like my old self, and Summer made it feel so simple to do. I question if it's because we've known each other so long that there's just this familiar comfort.

Or maybe, I'd like to blame it on the atmosphere, the dimmed lights and the rain outside. The candle burning on the coffee table between us that lit up her presence. Maybe my loneliness officially got the best of me, and Summer just happened to be the woman I was trapped with tonight. Although, it didn't feel like I was "trapped"—I felt comfortable, and dare I say, I enjoyed her company.

I've known for years she has a thing for me, but she's also always dated others, so her crush always felt juvenile. Like it didn't actually mean anything in the grand scheme of things. She makes her comments and does her flirting, but I've grown to take that just as who Summer is. She's flirty, and friendly, and bubbly with pretty much anyone. I know she cares for me and CeCe, that isn't even a question, but tonight I just felt something . And I don't know what the fuck to do with it.

Much to my surprise, I'm having a harder time falling asleep than I thought I would. I'm physically exhausted, my body doesn't want to get up from this couch, but my mind won't stop racing and I can't turn my thoughts off no matter how hard I'm fucking trying.

I groan again, yanking the blanket off my legs and pulling my shirt off over my head, letting the cool air hit my skin now that the air conditioning is back on and running to get the apartment temperature back down. Everything in me feels heightened, and despite my best efforts, there's a pair of blue eyes I can't escape from. When I close my eyes, I see Summer sitting on the couch across from me, narrowing her stare and looking at me with a challenging smirk, and blood pumps through my veins almost forcing me into picturing something I shouldn't be.

When I left for college, I remember saying goodbye to Summer. I don't know why it's stuck with me, but it has. Naturally, she made some joke about not missing her too much, but then we hugged. And it didn't mean anything to me then, I still don't know if it does, but I just remember the hug. It wasn't one of those halfway hugs where you just use one arm, or a quick awkward one. Her arms pulled my sides closer to her and I remember wrapping her up against my chest and holding onto her for a moment. I don't remember hugs often; in fact, I don't hug people often to begin with. But Summer's hugs are always meaningful. She pulls you into her personal space and squeezes tight. It's right on the line of being too much, but it's not. It's completely all consuming, but in a good way. In the way that makes you feel important, cherished. It's like a warm hug, a familiar sweater, it's a feeling of complete comfort.

A similar memory of the Super Bowl win a few seasons ago flashes in my mind when she hugged me on the field, and another when I remember a night in the aftermath of Kristen leaving. I was having a bad day; fuck, they were all bad days for a while. But she dropped off a can of formula for CeCe so I wouldn't have to make a trip to the store the next morning. She hugged me in my doorway for longer than necessary, but I must've needed it. I wonder if she even knows she hugs like that.

I've spent the last couple of hours in and out of small bouts of sleep. The rain is still coming down outside, but it's nothing like it was hours ago. It's calmer, almost a drizzle, but enough to hear it gently hitting the patio floor. It's soothing and should help me fall back asleep as I turn over once more with my face toward the hallway.

The lightest sound causes me to peek one eye open as I see a shadow coming down the hall. Too tall to be CeCe, so I know it's Summer and a weird ache in my gut occurs at the thought of her sneaking out in the middle of the night. But when she finally comes into view, I pull the blanket up a little higher to hide my face as I watch her move. I shouldn't want to watch her move around my apartment, but I'm glued to her silhouette in the light coming through the back door. The shirt I gave her hits just at her upper thigh and it appears she must've been warm too as the shorts I gave her to wear are nowhere in sight, causing my mouth to become dry. Her hair is loose, no longer pulled up on top of her head and she slowly opens the cabinet next to the pantry, pulling out a glass before she grabs the milk from the refrigerator.

My body moves without consulting my brain first and before I can turn back around, it's too late. And I'm standing near the kitchen island, Summer's back to me as she pours a little more milk in the cup and takes another hefty sip. I'm finding it hard at this moment to find reasons to convince myself to go lie back down, when every thread of my being just wants to…

"Chase!" she whispers when she finally turns and sees me, jumbling my thoughts. "Gosh." Her hand flies to her chest as she puts the milk away.

"Didn't mean to scare you."

"No, it's okay. Sorry for waking you up. Sometimes, when I can't sleep I chug milk." She raises the glass to me and takes another sip, and all I can do is stare.

I feel like giving into the single side of me for just a moment. Giving into the small part of myself that I keep hidden away in a corner. Because for some fucking reason tonight, I can't stop thinking about Summer.

"You didn't wake me," I say, slowly shuffling my feet closer.

I can see her fingers grip the glass a little harder as I inch toward her, like she's bracing for something she feels coming. Her back leans against the counter as I make my way toward her, settling barely two feet in front of her.

"If you're not comfortable out here, we can switch. I'm sure you'd prefer your bed."

I don't answer and as expected she takes my silence as a reason to keep talking.

"Plus, you really don't fit on that couch."

My chest feels tight as I watch her mouth move. "Kincaid… please, stop talking," I say, breathing heavily and taking one more step toward her.

The pad of my thumb skims the fabric of my shirt on her body as I trace down her arm and I feel oddly territorial. An emotion I never expected to feel when it came to Summer, but tonight something has shifted between us. Her attitude doesn't irritate me, it excites me. Her constant rambling doesn't make me tune her out, it engages me. Her flirting isn't something I want to ignore, instead it makes me want more.

"Chase… what are you doing?" Summer's chest pumps up and down rapidly and her eyes flash to my hand once my thumb hits her bare skin on her arm. She watches my fingers move and then brings her gaze up to me.

She really is beautiful. How have I never noticed?

With her fingers still clutching the glass of milk, I stare down at her, not moving my eyes from hers, and I gently take the glass from her hand, placing it on the counter.

"What are you doing?" she asks again, but this time with a hesitancy in her voice. Her bottom lip quivers slightly.

"What I should have done earlier… years earlier, I'm starting to think." I breathe against her ear as I lean down. I can practically hear her heartbeat jumping from her chest.

"Chase," she breathes out heavily just seconds before I capture her lips with mine.