Chapter 13

THANKSGIVING - THREE YEARS AGO

The empty bottle makes a loud thumping noise as it falls from my grip. Did I really hear what I think I just heard? Kristen left?

"She what?" I ask, eyes wide with confusion as I stand in the kitchen.

Chase takes CeCe from Abby and walks her down the hall toward the spare bedroom where he has her diaper bag and I'm practically running after him.

"Chase, what the hell did you just say?"

"I think you heard me loud and clear." His brows crease together as he lays CeCe on the bed to change her diaper. Her cries start to calm down when he looks at her and her tiny hand wraps itself around his index finger as he smiles at her.

"Well where did she go?" My question seems to only add to his frustration as he gets CeCe changed. Her cries turn into coos as he softly talks to her and smiles. His hands look gigantic next to her little body and he scoops her up so effortlessly, holding her like a football and she relaxes into his arms.

"Do we have to talk about this now?" He sighs as he rubs her back, and I take a seat on the bed, feeling confused and upset, as if I'm the one Kristen left. But Chase and CeCe are family to me, and Kristen—hell, anyone—doing anything to hurt them makes some kind of protective lioness instinct come out of me.

"No, of course not. You don't have to talk to me about it." My head shakes back and forth, realizing this isn't really my business. Plus, I'm aware I wouldn't be his first choice as someone to confide in.

He moves restlessly around the room. "I didn't mean it like that. I just feel so tired of talking. I couldn't change her mind. It's all just so fucked up." I've never seen Chase look so… lost. The dark circles under his eyes and the extra scruff lining his jaw give it away so clearly. He looks exhausted and defeated.

"I understand." I get up and walk a few steps closer to him. "I'm around if you need anything."

He nods at me and instincts tell me he's about to walk out the door, so I move first, giving him space. But he doesn't move. He stands there, still as can be. It looks like maybe this is the first time he's had some silence in a while and he wants to just relish in it for a moment.

CeCe twitches a little against his arm, I can see she's fighting a nap she desperately needs based on her tired eyes too.

"Here, let me," I say, grabbing CeCe's pacifier from the bed and pulling her into my chest. Chase doesn't resist and lets me take her, bringing her to the other side of the room. Abby showed me a while ago how to swaddle her for naps, so I jog my memory to get CeCe nice and snug before placing her in the small bassinet Abby has set up in here. The shades are closed and this room is far enough away from the kitchen so any noise from the group shouldn't carry over here to wake her up.

When I give her the pacifier she squirms a little bit, making a few small noises before she soothes herself and settles into a comfortable position, closing her eyes again and seemingly drifting off.

A deep sigh from Chase on the other side of the room makes me turn my head and he slowly takes a seat on the bed.

"Do you want a nap too? I could try to swaddle you," I say, giving his shoulder a playful shove.

"I'll pass on the swaddle, but I will probably just rest my eyes a little in here." His legs swing onto the bed and he lets his head fall back against the headboard, eyes closing before he's even fully settled.

"I just can't believe this is my life," he mumbles before I'm out the door, causing me to stop my feet and turn to face him.

"You'll be okay, Chase."

He scoffs, shaking his head. "Yeah? How do you suppose that?"

I pull the door completely closed and walk to the side of the bed where he's lying. His eyes are closed and his breathing has evened out. For all I know, he could've fallen asleep in the last ten seconds.

"Because I know you," I whisper. "And I know that you feel really alone right now, but you aren't. She left and that sucks. Becoming a single parent probably feels like you're now carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. But I promise you can do this. I'm here for whatever you might need, we all are."

Without saying anything else I take a few more steps toward the door before Chase whispers when I turn the doorknob.

"Thanks, Kincaid."

I want to say more. I want to tell him I'd do anything for him. For CeCe. I want to confront Kristen, ask her what the hell she's thinking. He looks so hurt, so confused, and just helpless. I know he's hurting more for CeCe than himself, though. Instead of saying anything more, I simply nod my head, smile, and quietly exit the bedroom.

I've never been Kristen's biggest fan. And it has nothing to do with my personal feelings toward Chase and everything to do with how I've seen her treat him in general. She always gave the impression that she felt she was too good for him. Like his fame and money were appealing, but Chase personally wasn't someone she wanted to be with. When Chase told us he was having a baby and Kristen was the mother, I instantly felt sorry for him. I didn't feel excitement like a normal friend should have, and at first, that made me feel bad. And the more I got to know her, the clearer things became to me. I never voiced my opinion to him directly, I think it would've been perceived as jealousy. But I always had my doubts about her intentions. I always wondered if she would walk out on him when she got bored or maybe he lost his appeal.

It's heartbreaking to see that regardless of whatever her feelings were toward Chase, an innocent baby still wasn't enough for her.

I played nice, for the most part. I knew they had their ups and downs, but I never expected him to drop the bomb one day that she just up and left. I could see the two of them breaking up, but leaving CeCe?

My heart hurts as I walk back down the hall and leave him in the room. Maybe one day, he'll want to tell me what happened, but until then I'll keep showing up for him. He's been in my life for decades, he's kind and thoughtful and he doesn't deserve to be hurt like this.

PRESENT

I feel like I've entered the twilight zone. Chase is being playful and fun tonight, like he's high school Chase all over again and instead of watching him be this way with another girl, I'm the one on the receiving end and I'm chomping at the bit to have more of it.

I meant every word I said, though. Chase has done a great job raising a kid on his own. It wasn't his choice to do it this way, but he's built a life for CeCe where she knows she's loved and cared for. He's a better man than he gives himself credit for. He doesn't have to live so on edge, so terrified that he's doing things wrong or so specific that he thinks if he does one thing off plan the world will end.

My feet run through the rug on the floor of his living room, feeling the pieces of carpet between my toes, forcing myself to think of how that feels instead of focusing on the way Chase is looking at me. The corner of his lip curves up, followed by a rumble of his chest. He stands from the couch and pulls both arms behind his back, making his chest stretch against the fabric, ready to cause a rip right through the center and my eyes are glued to the motion.

"I need some more water," he abruptly states.

His arms go above his head briefly and the candlelight casts a perfect glow on his stomach, giving a small glimpse of the way his abs look beneath his shirt as it rises and then falls with his movement. An involuntary sigh leaves my lips, and I know he catches it by the head shake that follows.

"What's your workout routine like?"

Nice one, Summer.

"My workout routine?" He stops walking and turns around with a throaty chuckle. "You're interested in my workout routine?"

No, I'm interested in being your workout routine, but I can't exactly say that… can I?

"Sure. Your physique is… notable so I'm just curious."

"My physique is notable?"

"Okay, are you just going to repeat everything I'm saying?" I stand, popping a hand on my hip.

His hand pulls at the back of his neck.

"That depends, are you going to continue asking questions you know the answer to?"

My nose scrunches up as I walk past him and attempt to force away the warm, blushing feeling from my cheeks.

"Well, this has been fun. I'm going to bed."

This time he laughs. Not a small chuckle, or a subtle smirk, no. Chase laughs.

"You can dish out the smart remarks, but can't take them? That doesn't seem like you."

My teeth clamp down on my bottom lip as I stand in the darkness of the kitchen. Chase doesn't talk to me like this, he doesn't joke with me and he definitely doesn't flirt with me.

I open my mouth to challenge him but the kitchen light flickers on and the TV screen comes back into view. The power returning seems to have snapped us both back into reality and Chase quickly looks anywhere but at me, finally focusing on the hallway where CeCe's bedroom door slowly pulls open.

"Hey, Peanut, it was just the lights coming back on." He begins walking toward her and ushers her back into her bedroom, closing the door behind the both of them.

I lean my elbows on the counter and run both hands down my face, feeling flushed and aroused and exhausted all at once.