Chapter 15

I can't explain what's happening, but Chase is kissing me and I feel like I've just been swept into a dream. A really magical fucking dream I never want to wake up from.

His hand immediately grips the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him as I stand here in his kitchen, very aware of the fact that I'm not wearing shorts under this t-shirt. His free hand roams my back, as if he's exploring a place he's never been before, and I whimper every time he digs his fingers in. His tongue collides with mine in what feels like the most natural movement ever. Like kissing Chase is something I do every night without practice or rehearsal, it just feels easy and expected.

We break apart briefly, and I inhale a deep breath, feeling sated and yet needy for more as our foreheads rest against one another. Both of our breaths are heavy as our eyes lock and a sense of realization over what just happened begins to set in. His skin is hot to the touch and I can feel mine ready to burst into flames.

The need to have just one more taste of him overcomes me. I grip his neck, pulling his lips back to mine and he comes without any resistance. My hands entangle in his hair, running my finger nails down toward the nape of his neck. He groans into my mouth and as if I'm weightless, Chase picks me up and sets me onto the counter. My thighs welcome the cold surface of the countertop and he pushes his body against me.

He lets his fingers graze my thighs and all I can do is moan at the touch. His hands rest on the top of my legs and he squeezes firmly, causing me to grind myself against the counter in a way I never thought I would. I need pressure and friction in places I can't ask him for. Because no matter how badly I want him in that way, I know that's not what this is. I know this is just a moment in time for each of us. A small blip that will be avoided in the morning, but right now, in the dimming moonlight, I'm accepting whatever he wants to give me.

My hips move slowly back and forth as he continues leaning into me, letting the kiss mature from hungry and chaotic to something slower, a more relaxed and comfortable rhythm.

It's the way his lips feel against mine, like they own me and I'm simply following his lead. And the minty taste that somehow still lingers even though it had been hours since he brushed his teeth. Kissing Chase is something I've only dreamed of until now and I'm happy to report that the reality far outweighs anything my mind could have imagined. Our lips stay interlocked for much longer than I would have expected, but we both feel so caught up in the moment, so completely consumed by what's happening.

When he finally pulls away slowly, my eyes stay closed for just a moment after we break the kiss. My fingers skim my bottom lip and I calm my breathing, letting myself relish in the brief moment we just shared.

And when I open my eyes, I can see he's fighting it. The urge to go further, even though we both know it won't. His eyes are a dark shade of brown, nearly black as he stands here. But it's his breathing that's the most telling. It's heavy and deep, like a wild animal foaming at the mouth for one more bite, a small taste. I know in the light of day, there's a good chance he'll look at this as a mistake, something he regrets doing. A moment of loneliness that got the best of him, but right now he looks like he's in pain over not being able to go any further. And I'll admit, I kind of like seeing him tormented over me.

Even if it is temporary.

"Kincaid, I—"

I hold my hand up and shake my head before he can go further.

"We can talk in the morning," I say, knowing he's going to hit me with an apology he doesn't owe me.

He nods his head, helping me down from the countertop, and I put my glass in the sink. I can still feel his eyes on me and I want nothing more than to keep kissing him, keep touching him and keep this moment lasting a little longer. But I know better. My smile softens and I force myself to walk past him back to the bedroom.

The fact that I thought I could just go back to sleep after that is laughable. Especially when I had to come back to Chase's bed and once again be wrapped up in his bedsheets that smell like him.

After finally giving up on trying to fall back asleep, I sit up and pull out my phone. The battery is probably going to die any minute now, but mindless scrolling should keep my mind off of the kiss I just shared with Chase, right?

As if the universe is out to torture me, the first post I see is from the Knights social media page. It's a post from a charity event the team participated in the other day. As I scroll through the photos, there's one of Chase next to Alex Farr. He's one of the newer guys on the team but you'd never really know it. He's disciplined, fast, and a great athlete. Not so bad to look at either, except even with Alex's pretty boy smile trying to distract me, the brick wall with a smirk next to him has my full attention. My thighs press together remembering his lips on mine only hours ago and how badly I wanted more, needed more.

I guess I could be angry with Chase for kissing me. After all, he knows how I feel about him, how I've felt for years. I could look at it as some form of a mind game, but I'm not that sixteen-year-old girl anymore who was ruled by emotions. I can recognize a kiss for what it is and sometimes a kiss is just giving in to a momentary impulse, and I think I'd rather have that—even if it never happens again, rather than never having it at all.

I double tap the photo before closing the app and roll out of his bed. Six in the morning seems reasonable to try and leave. I quickly get changed out of the clothing Chase gave me and place them in his hamper before putting my own clothes back on.

The bathroom light in the hallway is on when I walk by and I hear the sink running, but I don't linger to see who comes out. The couch where Chase was last night is empty, the blankets all perfectly back in place and the pillows look fluffed as if they'd never been used.

I pull my hair into a low ponytail and slip into my sandals near the front door, unlocking it and slowly turning the handle in hopes to get out unnoticed. But lady luck isn't in my corner today and Chase emerges from the bathroom as I'm halfway out the door. Our eyes briefly meet so I stop, taking in how he looks in the early morning hours. I dip my head slowly, smiling softly as his eyes sear into me like there are a million things he wants to say, but can't.

He nods just as I finally encourage my feet to move out of the doorway and walk out. Leaving the memory of last night on the other side of the door.