Chapter 30 - Xavier

Xavier

O ur next six matches were an absolute shit show.

Don’t get me started on the one I watched from the couch or all the media fallout from it.

I had a chip on my shoulder the size of Greenland when I finally returned.

Too bad nothing has gone right since. Especially today’s result.

I’d gladly press a reset button if it fell on the pitch in front of me. Our defenders played awful, including my step-brother, who remained in the starting eleven for some unknown reason. Cade bruised his knee on a cheap sliding challenge from the opponent’s central midfielder. Our left winger got red-carded in the twentieth minute, leaving us down a man for the rest of the match.

And I couldn’t stop a ball from hitting the back of the net if my life depended on it. I could hear fans taunting me from the section directly behind my goal.

Not what I’d call a banner fucking day.

Believe it or not, staying focused on football was the only way I survived the last few weeks. The aftermath of Victoria’s visit weighed on me daily. We still texted as much as we could but it all felt different. More like two colleagues reaching out to see how the other was doing, rather than two people supposedly in love trying to stay connected.

Her season was now well underway. When I heard from her before today’s game started, she was boarding a flight to Seattle.

I barely listened to the post-match lecture. I stared out into the changing room, observing my teammates. Our performance so far this season has been lackluster to say the least. Not living up to expectations started to affect the club’s overall mood.

“We’ll get back to the business of winning after the international break,” Eric, our manager, told the room. “For those of you called up, good luck against the Dutch. See you all in a couple weeks.”

After showering and changing, I walked out with Cade. His knee was wrapped but he seemed to be moving around just fine.

“Bloody cheap shot, that,” he grumbled. “I saw him gunning for me. I’m lucky he didn’t tear my ACL.”

“Think you’ll sit out for the qualifier?”

“Fuck no. I’ll be dead before missing a chance to get England another trophy.”

“Another?” I snickered. “You do realize the last time we won was before you and I were born.”

He rolled his eyes. “I don’t see your point.”

We approached our cars in silence. The thought of returning to my flat to sit and wallow alone pressed down on me.

“Dinner at Black Rose?” Cade asked. “It’s tradition.”

Going to Briarcliff crossed my mind several times the last couple weeks but I never did.

“Sure.”

“Last one there is buying.” Cade punched my shoulder before trotting over to his car. I laughed, knowing full well he’d drive like a nutter to get there first.

Settling behind the steering wheel, I let the events of the day roll off me as best I could. I hated losing. Especially when I know I didn’t do enough to help the club win.

Before I left, I debated on sending Victoria a quick text. I wasn’t sure if she’d arrived yet but maybe she’d appreciate a little hello from me. Or maybe not.

Bloody hell.

Me: Hope the flight to Seattle was alright. Good luck tomorrow

Could I sound like more of a knobhead? And why the fuck was I so nervous to text my girlfriend?

Annoyed with myself, I turned the radio up and started driving.

The more of London I could see in my rearview mirror, the better I felt. By the time the roads became smaller and filled with curves, I relaxed. But as I approached the stretch of road where I first saw Victoria, my heart seized.

I could still picture her, clear as day, pacing in circles. After pulling off the road, I must have stayed in my car and watched her for longer than was socially acceptable. But I was just so damn captivated by her. I’d never felt anything like it. And then when I finally got out and she walked right into me? Jesus Christ, I wanted to take her in my arms right then and there. I didn’t even know her name but all I wanted was her.

Blinking myself out of the memory, I focused on the road.

Ten minutes later I parked near Black Rose. Cade was already waiting for me by the door, surrounded by a few fans. We’d been coming here after matches for years so it’s not surprising to see a small crowd.

We signed some autographs and posed for pictures before going inside.

The pub wasn’t too crowded so we sat at the bar.

“My boys are here,” Dawn exclaimed, flashing her megawatt smile when she walked over. “Just the two of you tonight?”

“You sound disappointed,” Cade teased. “Don’t tell me Bennet is your favorite.”

“Stop.” She swatted his arm playfully. “It’s been ages since you’ve all been here together. I miss my three princes.”

I smiled. “You say that to all the lads.”

“You—” she reached out and ruffled my hair “—can’t charm your way out of explaining why you haven’t been here to say hello. I know for a fact you’ve been spending a lot of time at Victoria’s cottage.”

If there’s one person who knows what goes on in Briarcliff Village, it’s Dawn Halston. She and her husband, Ray, own this pub. Nothing gets past them.

My eyebrow winged up. “Spying on me?”

Dawn tilted her head and pursed her lips. “If I hear one more young lady talking about the dishy guy with tattoos walking around shirtless in front of that house I’ll—”

“I can walk around shirtless in here,” I cut in with a smirk. “Help drum up business.”

“Mate, you’ll scare everyone away,” Cade jeered.

The pleasant smile on Dawn’s face soothed my frayed nerves. One of the main reasons why I haven’t been in here should be obvious. I knew Dawn would mention Victoria and I’m powerless to hide any type of reaction to hearing her name.

She clasped both our hands and told us she’d return with drinks.

A good thing about being out with Cade was his ability to sense when I refused to talk about certain topics. In this case, the banned topic was Victoria. After she left, I shut myself off to any conversation about her with him or Bennet. The only updates I wanted from Bennet involved Jordan. I still didn’t know where he’d flown to. All I knew was he left England.

My hands clenched. When I do see him again, he’ll regret touching her.

“Did I tell you what happened this week?” Cade slapped his hand down on the bar, jolting me from venomous thoughts of Jordan. “Most frustrating thing ever.”

Dawn placed two beers in front of us, took our food orders, and went to assist other customers.

“You found a gray hair?” I asked, casually sipping my drink.

“Arse. No.”

“Well I figured with all the dramatics it had to be something life changing.”

“Like the sulky face you’ve put on the past few weeks? If you brood any harder, I’ll have to create an emo playlist to turn on when you walk in a room.”

“Just bloody tell me.”

“I will. Then you’re going to tell me what has your knickers in a twist.” He took a long swallow of beer. “You know how I went to the children’s hospital for a charity event?”

“Vaguely.”

He frowned at me. “Thanks for paying attention, mate. Anyway, I ran into some of the lads from Holwood FC. We got to talking until their marketing representative sucked the fun out of everything. I can’t remember her name but she was the biggest pain.”

I could already feel myself losing interest in this conversation. “Did she turn you down when you asked her out?”

He ignored my question. “This girl had the largest stick wedged up her ass. She was a bloody ice queen. You know me. I like to finesse my way with the ladies, throw in a few one liners, have a laugh. Nothing worked with her. It drove me mad.”

Now I was fully amused. My best friend wasn’t used to getting snubbed. “It’s called a challenge, Cade. Besides, not every woman has to fall for you. I like the sound of her.”

“Of course you do. Did I mention she’s American? Thought maybe you’d have some words of wisdom since you swept Victoria off her feet with your stupid dimple and all that so-called charm.”

The genuine laugh that fell out of me felt good. I’d never admit it to him, but Cade was right about my lengthy brooding streak. A small weight lifted from my shoulders.

“She wasn’t impressed by your jawline that could…what did that one girl say? Cut through steel like it was butter?”

Cade shrugged, taking another long pull of beer. “Dunno. Shit like this doesn’t usually bother me. I went on a date that same night but couldn’t stop thinking about this girl. And the other thing? She’s older. Like, our age.”

“Now I’ve heard everything.” I smirked, reclining an elbow on the bar. “Cade Gallagher, World’s Okayest Striker, fancies a woman his own age.”

“I will let that half-assed remark slide on one condition.”

“What?”

Cade’s expression turned serious. “Tell me what’s going on with you. And don’t do the fucking Maddox thing you always do with deflecting and avoiding and scowling. You might be able to fool the rest of the lads but I know better. Spill it.”

Any good will or lightened mood I’d felt deflated faster than I anticipated. Hiding this from Cade has been hard and not completely fair, but I also didn’t want to drag him into something so multifaceted.

“I know Bennet knows,” he griped. “And he’s been less than forthcoming with what’s going on in his gilded world of the posh and minted. The two of you keep shutting me out.”

“You’re right,” I admitted. “It’s just—” I paused, preparing myself for what’s to come “—Victoria was here unexpectedly the week I was benched.” I stared at the food one of the bar staff slid in front of us. “She’d gone to see Jordan.”

I glanced at Cade. His full attention rested on me. Taking a deep breath, I told him what happened. A streak of anger flickered through his eyes when I relayed the part about Jordan putting her in a chokehold. His shoulders sagged a bit when I mentioned the party years ago.

I didn’t leave out one detail.

More than a few minutes of silence elapsed between us.

“Our past selves weren’t model citizens, were they?” A chagrined smile pulled at Cade’s mouth. “We’ve both done a fair amount of maturing since then. Sounds like Victoria just needed some time to sort through it all. You still speak everyday though, yeah?”

“We do but nothing feels right.”

“In all the years I’ve known you, I have never once seen you admit to your shortcomings or weaknesses so readily. At least not out loud. She sees you, mate. All of you. More than Bennet or I could ever fathom.” He knocked back the rest of his beer. “I’ve said it a million times but I’ll say it again. You’ve worked too fucking hard to get yourself right. Victoria is an amazing woman. Create a future with her. What’s past is past. Let it stay there.”

Confiding in him actually eased some of my discomfort. Our conversation turned away from past mistakes to the upcoming qualifier against the Netherlands. We both agreed it will be a tough match but not impossible to win.

“I’m telling you, we’re taking the tournament next summer. Football’s coming home.” Cade’s enthusiastic declaration was contagious, if not bordering on unrealistic.

“What if we do? Any idea what happens after we lift the trophy?”

“Make millions in endorsements. Retire a global phenomenon. Perfect ending to my career.”

Hearing Cade mention retirement surprised me to a certain extent. We weren’t getting any younger. Several commentators already planted seeds of doubt regarding our ability to play at a high level. We both turn thirty-seven later this year. Not that I ever let my age interfere with my desire to excel.

“Retirement, huh? I can’t imagine having extra time on your hands is a good thing. Too much temptation out there.” I took a bite of cottage pie.

“Nah. I’d go right into coaching. Start developing young talent for the next generation of—” he gestured at me and himself “—us. Reckon your kids will play better than you.”

I choked on my food. “Kids? Fucking hell, Gallagher. You’ve actually gone mad.”

“Deflect all you want. My predictions are never wrong.”

Ridiculous comments aside, Cade is one of the best strikers to ever play the game. I never pictured him becoming a coach though. Maybe it’s not such an outlandish idea.

By the time we finished dinner, I was in a significantly better mood than when the day started. Sitting alone in my house wasn’t quite what I felt like doing, so I stuck around after Cade said his goodbyes. Dawn came over for a brief chat and mentioned someone wanted to meet me. A gentleman sitting at the other end of the bar lifted his glass when she gestured to him.

“Yeah, sure,” I said. “Tell him it’s fine.”

The man made his way over slowly. He appeared to be around the same age as my dad. Tall, salt and pepper hair, well-dressed. There was something oddly familiar about him but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

“Sorry for the interruption. Didn’t think I’d be running into England’s number one at this pub.” He extended his hand. “I’m Trevor. Nice to meet you.”

“Xavier,” I responded, shaking his hand. “Pleasure’s all mine. Can I refill your glass?”

Something warm and comforting reflected in his eyes. “I won’t say no to that. Thank you.”

Trevor and I chit-chatted about random things. I learned he grew up in Leeds and was definitely not a Royal City supporter.

“I am more than happy to cheer for you in England’s jersey but other than that,” he shook his head, “I’m afraid you’ll get no support from me on the pitch.”

I laughed. “You’re not the first person to say that to me.”

“Ready for the Dutch?”

“Think so. They’re tough but I’m confident we’ll get the points we need.”

“Good.” He looked down, turning the glass in his fingers. “So what brings you so far from London? I figured a popular young man like yourself would rather be out in the big city.”

“It’s a standing ritual for Cade and I. He was here with me just before. We always have dinner here after a home game.”

“Cade Gallagher? The striker with the golden boot.” Trevor smirked. “Same goes for him, you know. Love him in an England jersey. Will taunt him on the pitch every other time.”

“Too bad you missed him. He loves a spirited debate.”

Dawn came over to refill our glasses. “You gentlemen getting on alright?” Her genial tone matched her affectionate gaze.

“Always a pleasure coming here, Mrs. Halston. I’ll be sure to stop in again when I’m back in town.”

My phone vibrated while the two of them swapped travel stories.

Tori: Seattle is drizzly but good. Saw the final score for your game. Yikes.

Me: Yikes? We only lost by a goal

Tori: Only teasing. What are you up to?

Me: Dinner at Black Rose with Cade. Chatting with Dawn now

Tori: Tell her I said hello

Me: Will do

When she didn’t respond straight away I figured this was the end of our polite discourse. Trepidation and misery strangled me from the inside out. I missed her with a vengeance. The skin she’d kissed beneath my ear tingled and burned. The sensation spread until every cell in my body threatened to detonate.

Tori: I miss you

Those three words stole the breath right out of my fucking lungs. The phone landed with a thud on the bar. I glanced up to see if Dawn or my new friend noticed. They were far too engrossed in conversation.

Me: I miss you too, love

Tori: I know you’re in Birmingham next week for training but can we try to make time for a video call?

Me: Just tell me when and I’ll be ready

Tori: Will do :P

“Look at that smile,” Dawn exclaimed, grabbing my hand. “Did you just hear from your lovely girlfriend?”

“I did. She says to say hello.”

“You better bring her here next time she visits.” She turned to Trevor. “Have a good flight tomorrow. Don’t be a stranger.” Dawn excused herself to tend to other customers.

“I should be going,” Trevor said, standing up. He regarded me with interest before saying, “Dawn is right about that smile. You haven’t stopped since getting that text. I remember always having a silly grin on my face when I met my wife.” He laughed at a memory only he could see. “Quite the spitfire, she was. My daughter takes after her.”

“Sounds like you had your hands full.”

Heartache passed briefly in his eyes. Again, I had the weird sensation of there being something oddly familiar about him.

“I did.” Placing a hand on my shoulder, he squeezed it gently. “Your girlfriend is lucky to have you. Nice meeting you, Xavier. I’m sure we’ll run into one another again.”