26. Hayden

26

HAYDEN

T he next morning, I’m awakened by the sun gleaming through the window illuminating the room in a bright yellow glow. I gently stir, still enveloped in Cagan’s arms from the night before. What a magical night that was! After months and months of missing him deeply and longing for his touch, to finally enjoy each other's body and soul, was just the remedy I desperately needed.

My stirring eventually awakens Cagan from his peaceful slumber. I don’t want to rush this moment and leave his strong, comforting embrace, but I start to feel anxious as I think about our daughter Amira.

“Cagan,” I say softly, running my fingers along his muscular arm. “We should hurry to find Hera and see our little one.”

Cagan’s golden eyes blink open, a smile spreading across his tusked mouth. He tenderly brushes a strand of hair from my face and kisses my forehead. "Of course, my love. You’re right, we should check on our precious girl.”

His gravelly morning voice sends pleasant shivers through me. I sigh blissfully as Cagan continues trailing gentle kisses down my neck.

“Maybe… just a few more minutes,” I murmur, melting into his affections. He chuckles, the sound vibrating against my skin.

“I can never get enough of you either, my love,” he rumbles. “But Amira needs her mother. We’ll continue this later…” The promise in his tone sets my blood aflame.

With monumental effort, I pull away and rise to dress, casting a coy smile over my shoulder. Cagan growls playfully and swats my backside. Laughing, I toss his clothes to him. “Come on, you insatiable beast. Our daughter is waiting for us.”

Soon, we find Amira with Hera in her own home. And we’re thrilled to be reunited with our daughter. After bidding Hera goodbye, we go back to our dwelling as one unit. Our own little family in the making.

That evening, heavenly aromas waft from Cagan's cooking. He serves us generously with piping hot meats and vegetables. As we feast, Amira burbles happy noises. Cagan grins, catching her chubby fingers in his massive hand and kissing them. I watch them, awash in a love so pure I'd never dared dream. Later, he places our sleepy babe into the finest furs to dream.

He returns to find me stoking the fire, lost in thought. Cagan sits and pulls me into his lap, wrapping his strong arms around me. "What troubles you, my love?"

I lean into his embrace. "It still feels like a dream to have this - you both, a home, peace. I'm scared it won’t last."

Cagan lifts my chin to meet his eyes, full of care. "We are real, and this life is yours. No one will take it from you again, I vow it." His words soothe my fears and I kiss him, feeling truly safe.

Over the next few days, we settle into a blissful routine as a family. Cagan dotes on Amira and me ceaselessly, his love washing over us in word and deed. Throughout the day, he finds small ways to make me smile - playing peekaboo with Amira and whispering sweet words in my ear.

In the evening, Cagan cooks hearty stews that fill our home with mouth watering aromas. As I move to help him, Cagan gently steers me away.

"Let me take care of you, my love," he urges. Though I insist I'm happy to help, he simply smiles and plants a kiss on my forehead. I relent, touched by his devotion.

Later, after Amira drifts off to sleep, Cagan draws me a warm, fragrant bath. The herbs swirl through the water – lavender, mint, chamomile – tingling against my skin. I sink into the tub with a blissful sigh as Cagan washes my hair, massaging my scalp with care. His hands glide over my bare skin, tracing my curves, reminding me wordlessly of his love and desire. When he looks at me, his golden eyes radiate adoration.

"You are the most beautiful creature in all the lands," he says.

I reply softly, "I never dreamed I could be this happy."

Cagan just smiles.

I've never felt this content and loved before. Like sunlight after an endless cold night, Cagan and Amira thaw my battered heart. For the first time, I have a true home and family. My only prayer is that we can cling to this peace and joy forevermore.

However, one morning that begins like any other, there comes a loud knock at the door that interrupts our domestic bliss. Cagan answers to find a breathless messenger bearing news that his father and sister still live, having fled to his sister’s new clan.

The messenger states, "Your father requests your presence urgently." Pausing to catch his breath, the messenger continues. “They’ve been searching everywhere for you.”

My heart drops into my stomach. Our happy haven feels suddenly precarious. I know how much Cagan's family means to him. But I can’t help but wonder if this summons will take him away forever? Panic swells within me like a raging sea.

Cagan's eyebrows knit in concern, his golden eyes clouded with worry as he turns to me. "This is… shocking. I thought they died after the raids." He reaches for my hand, enveloping it in his own palm. "But I will not leave you and Amira.”

I squeeze his hand, forcing a smile despite the storm brewing inside of me. "You must go to them. I know their survival brings you much joy." I want to be selfless, to not let him see me falter. But the thought of losing him carves a hollow ache in my chest.

Cagan studies my face, reading my turmoil though I try to bury it. He embraces me tightly, "You are too good, my love. I wish for you and Amira to accompany me. I want my father to meet his granddaughter...and the woman who holds my heart."

My breath catches at the thought. "I… I am not ready for that," I stammer, old fears rising like bile. I cannot face the potential judgment and scorn. "Your father may not approve of… someone like me."

Cagan cups my cheek gently. "You are the brightest spirit I know. But I will not force you. When you’re ready, we’ll go together." His eyes radiate only love and understanding, soothing my doubts.

As we embrace Amira one last time, she burbles and grabs at Cagan's face, sensing something momentous is occurring. He chuckles, kissing her cheeks. "I will return soon, little one. Be good for your mama."

Turning to me, emotion shines in his golden eyes. He kisses me deeply, imprinting himself on my soul. Then with a final look, he strides away to meet his familial duty.

As I watch his towering form disappear into the forest, a dark cloud of worry overtakes me. Our home feels cold and empty without his warm presence. I tidy up blankly, lost in thought. Amira whimpers for her father, her distress mirroring my own. I cuddle her close, breathing in her sweet scent. "Papa will be home soon, little one." But will he? What if his familial obligations keep him away? I fear his father may try to control him again, poisoning Cagan against me. He deserves familial connection, but at what cost to our family?

The days pass slowly without Cagan's steady presence. I keep busy with chores, but at night the enormous emptiness of our bed engulfs me. Amira's cries only echo my own hollowness. I hold her tighter, yearning for Cagan’s thick arms around us both.

One evening, Hera finds me weeping by the flickering fire, its light no match for my inner darkness. "What troubles you?" she asks softly, pulling me into a maternal embrace. Through sniffles I confess my ominous fears, that Cagan may never return to us.

Hera sighs knowingly, her voice gentle as a dove’s. "The pull of a clan can be stronger than vows of love. But Cagan's heart lies here with you. Have faith he will find his way back." Her words provide some solace, but uncertainty gnaws at me.

This waiting with no idea about what’s going on overwhelms me with despair. I take to sitting by the window each day, scanning the treeline for any sign of Cagan’s towering form. But none comes. Just endless silence and stillness.

Is this how it all ends? Did I lose the only love that truly saw me, honored me as an equal? Clutching Amira close as sobs rack my body, I pray to any god that will listen - please, let Cagan return to us once more. Let the forces trying to tear us apart prove weaker than the love we share. I cannot lose my heart again, not when I have finally glimpsed true happiness.