22. Cagan

22

CAGAN

W ithin the Burning Sun Clan’s territory, there I lay, my body battered as the healers tend to me. Agonizing pain washes over me. I try to muster up enough strength to sit up, as my worry for Hayden sets in once more. Slowly, I shift, and my body is able to get upright for a moment. Several feet away, I see two orcs approaching me. They appear friendly and welcoming.

One calls out in a gravelly voice, "Ho there, friend! My name is Logan. We received word of your state and we came to get a better look. Seems like you've had a rough time."

I try to respond but only manage a pained groan. The other orc named Ur kneels beside me, brow furrowed in concern. "Easy now. You're safe here."

He slides an arm under my shoulders, lifting me with surprising gentleness. I gasp out, "Please...my companion...have to find her..."

"Don't trouble yourself about that now," Logan says. "Let's worry about getting you to a dwelling.”

With great care, they lift me between them, one gripping each of my arms. I groan involuntarily as they hoist me up, my battered body protesting even this gentle movement. Logan shoots me an apologetic look as they position me, trying to avoid aggravating my injuries further.

They begin making haste towards small homes. We move at a steady pace through the shaded path. Dappled sunlight filters down through the rustling leaves, the fresh scent of pine enveloping us. My feet drag and stumble, but Logan and Ur keep me upright, bearing my weight when my legs threaten to buckle.

Ur murmurs words of encouragement, telling me I'll soon be lying down, my wounds cleaned and dressed. The thought of rest and care after my arduous trials fills me with profound relief. These patient, kindhearted beasts will restore me to strength in time. For now, I need only focus on putting one foot in front of the other until we reach the solace of a new home. With the clan's aid, I will mend.

Days pass, and thankfully with Logan and Ur's help, I easily become a part of the Burning Sun Clan. It's just as everyone said - the clan is a haven for orcs and humans alike. Though gruff and scarred from lives of hardship, the clan members welcome me with open arms.

They are a found family, bound not by blood but by loyalty and sacrifice. Around crackling fires at night, they share fantastical tales of ancestors long passed and battles won and lost. Their resonant laughter echoes through the fragrant pines as we feast on game, honeyed mead and hearty mushroom stews.

During the day, the orcs greet me like a brother, showing me the bountiful fishing spots along the river and which herbs and roots will best heal an infection. At night, we play raucous games and refashion weapons huddled around the glowing forge.

Though worry for Hayden constantly gnaws at me, I find comfort in the clan’s camaraderie. Their warmth has rekindled my wounded spirit. Each day I grow stronger in body and heart thanks to their kindness. Will Hayden find this place a haven too, if I can find her?

The question haunts me relentlessly. I imagine her here. This rugged yet welcoming place could be the haven she so desperately needs. She could make a home amongst these lumbering, warm-hearted beasts, finding the security she has so long deserved. Free of fear, her radiant soul would flourish, lighting up every shadowy corner. Here she could find happiness. I feel it deep in my bones.

My heart aches with deep longing as I think of how happy she could be here with me. The pain of missing her sinks into my very soul. I am utterly broken-hearted, a hollowed-out shell going through the motions. I cannot simply sit here alone in my room with my anguished thoughts and regrets.

Despite the protests of my still-mending wounds, I need to act. I must do something to find her, anything to fill this void inside me. The next morning, I go to Logan and insist that I must join the patrol immediately.

"My friend, let your body finish healing," Logan implores, but I will not be swayed.

"I cannot rest knowing she is out there, lost or hurt," I tell him vehemently. "I swore to protect her with my life. I have to go out there and search for her."

Logan sees the desperation in my eyes and finally relents. A profound gratitude wells up within me. I will not give up on my Hayden. I shall scour every inch of this vast forest if that's what it takes to find some trace of her.

During the following days, I tirelessly search for Hayden. While I’m searching, I can’t help but reflect on my good fortune in coming upon the Burning Sun clan in my darkest hour. When I stumbled bloodied and broken to the edge of their territory, they took me in without hesitation. They nursed me back to health, offered me food and shelter, treated my wounds with poultices that smelled of sweet herbs and rich earth.

Since arriving here, I've been welcomed as one of their own despite my ceaseless fretting over Hayden's fate. They listen with patience when anxiety keeps me up at night. At meals, they distract me with bawdy jokes and tales of their ancestors’ exploits, recognizing when my eyes grow distant with worry. It's been a week now, and though I still ache for her, I have to admit I'm growing more and more fond of this place.

Yet my enjoyment is bittersweet, tainted by Hayden's absence. I wish I could share all of this with her. Each night, I ache to feel her tucked against me, her breath warm on my skin. To see her eyes dance in the firelight as we swap stories and plans for the future. My heart fills with a longing that physical pain cannot match. I have found a new home, but it feels incomplete without my love beside me.

I don't quit looking for Hayden, not for one single day. I make it a habit to visit the secluded waterfalls we frequented. I pick my way down the fern-lined path, breathing deep the cool mist thrown up by the churning waters. Sitting on our favorite flat rock, I let the roar of the cascade fill my ears, remembering all the carefree hours Hayden and I spent swimming in the frothing pools beneath.

I close my eyes and in my mind I can see her clearly - her golden hair sleek with water, her slender body gliding through the currents. I imagine her surfacing with a joyous gasp, droplets gleaming on her sun-kissed skin. My fingers ache to brush those drops away, to pull her body against my chest and breathe in her familiar scent. But when I open my eyes, it is only me beside these falls.

Still, I come here every day without fail, however fruitless it may be. Some small hopeless part of me insists that if I just wait long enough, wish hard enough, Hayden will emerge from the trees to join me. And so I sit, watching the sunlight play across the rippling water, until the sun sets in the western sky. When the night sky finally appears, I head back to my new comrades of the Burning Sun Clan.

It is on one such return that Inzo, one of the clan's warriors, intercepts me. His eyes are suspicious, his posture is tense with one hand resting on the hilt of his sword. He sharply demands, "Who is it you keep searching for out there?"

My jaw clenches, unsure how to respond, and my tongue remains frozen. What should I say to him? He must think of me as a traitor with my frequent comings and goings these last few days. Fear settling in now, my eyes dart quickly to his injured arm.

Rumors of his ferocity in battle are known throughout the land. He has served the Burning Sun Clan with unwavering loyalty and unflinching valor. The jagged scar on his arm and stiffened fingers on his sword hand bear testament to battles fought and his dedication to the clan. I surely won’t win in a fight against him. If it comes to blows, Inzo could easily cut me down without hesitation or mercy.

My mind races, pulse hammering. How do I explain myself? What words can spare Hayden from suspicion while also protecting myself from false accusations? I cannot endanger her, yet neither can I lie and brand myself a rebel in Inzo's eyes. The clan's trust in me is still fragile - one misstep could see me exiled and alone once more.

As the silence stretches taut as a bowstring between us, I grasp for some sort of explanation. But the shrewd glare of Inzo's eyes warns he will not settle for half-truths. A wave of panic rushes over me. I cannot seem to find the right words.

Impatiently, Inzo repeats his demand, eyes still boring into me. Frantic now, I start to open my mouth once more. But before I can speak, another voice interrupts - one that stirs both elation and dread within me.

"Cagan?"

My heart stops. That gently lilting tone...can it be? I whirl around and there she stands - Hayden. She's real and alive before me.