23. Cagan

23

CAGAN

H ayden launches herself into my arms, her lips seeking mine in a desperate, feverish kiss. I'm stunned for a moment, my brain struggling to realize everything that is happening.

But then I'm kissing her back, pouring all my love and relief into the embrace.

"I thought I lost you," Hayden gasps between kisses, her hands clutching at my shoulders as if she's afraid I'll disappear.

"Me?" I ask incredulously, pulling back just far enough to meet her eyes. "I thought I lost you! When you disappeared like that, without a word..."

My voice cracks, the memory of those agonizing days without her still raw and painful. But Hayden just shakes her head, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, her fingers tracing the contours of my face as if memorizing every line and angle. "I never meant to worry you. I just...I had to go. I didn't have a choice."

Before I can ask what she means, a pointed throat-clearing interrupts our reunion. We break apart, turning to see Inzo standing nearby, his expression confused.

"Hayden, you know him?" he asks, jerking his chin in my direction.

Hayden grins, her whole face lighting up with joy and mischief. "I do," she confirms, reaching out to take my hand and lace our fingers together. "Cagan, this is Inzo. He's a friend."

I look between them, my brow furrowing as I try to piece together the connection. "How do you know each other?" I ask, unable to keep the note of jealousy from my voice.

Inzo just chuckles, holding up his hands in a placating gesture. "I think I'll let Hayden explain," he says, already backing away. "You two clearly have a lot to catch up on. I'll leave you to it."

With a final, knowing smile, he turns and walks away, leaving Hayden and me alone once more. She tugs on my hand, her expression growing serious.

"Let's go for a walk," she suggests, her tone making it clear that it's not really a request. "There's something I need to tell you."

I nod, letting her lead me away from the bustling camp and into the quiet solitude of the surrounding forest. We walk in silence for a while, the only sound is the crunch of our footsteps on the leaf-strewn path.

Finally, Hayden takes a deep breath and begins to speak. "I had to come here, to Burning Sun," she explains, her voice low and strained. "For medical treatment. I didn't want to scare you, but… I was sick. Really sick."

My heart clenches, a cold wave of fear washing over me at the thought of Hayden suffering, alone and in pain. "Why didn't you tell me?" I ask softly, fighting to keep the hurt from my voice. "I would have been there for you, Hayden. I would have done anything to help."

She sighs, her shoulders slumping as if under a great weight. "I know," she whispers, her eyes fixed on the ground. "But I was scared, Cagan. So scared. And not just from being sick."

I frown, my mind racing as I try to understand. "What were you scared of?" I ask gently, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

Hayden is silent for a long moment, her expression troubled and distant. "You'll know when we get back," she says at last, her voice barely above a whisper. "When you see...everything."

A chill runs down my spine at her ominous words, but I force myself to nod, to trust in her even as my instincts scream at me to demand answers. "Okay," I agree, my voice rough with emotion. "I'll follow you, Hayden. Wherever you need to go, whatever you need to face...I'm with you. Always."

She looks up at me then, her eyes bright with unshed tears and a depth of emotion that steals my breath. "I know," she whispers, a tremulous smile touching her lips. "That's why I'll always find my way back to you."

As Hayden leads me back to her small home, her hand warm and solid in mine, she keeps up a steady stream of chatter, filling me in on all that I've missed. She tells me about seeing her friend, Hera, again, and how kind Hera’s mate, Xenon, is. There's a lightness to her voice, a joy that I haven't heard in far too long.

But as we approach the front door, Hayden's steps falter, her words trailing off into silence. She turns to face me, her expression suddenly serious and almost… nervous.

"There's one last thing I haven't told you," she says softly, her eyes searching mine as if looking for some sign of reassurance. "Something important."

I frown, a flicker of unease stirring in my gut. "What is it, Hayden?" I ask gently, reaching out to cup her cheek in my palm. "You know you can tell me anything."

Hayden takes a deep breath, then pushes open the door and leads me inside. For a moment, I'm confused, my eyes adjusting to the dimmer light of the interior. But then I see her, and my heart stops dead in my chest.

There, lying on a blanket in the middle of the floor, is a baby. A little girl, with Hayden's delicate features. She gurgles happily at the sight of her mother.

"Cagan," Hayden says softly, her voice trembling with emotion. "Meet Amira. Your daughter."

I'm frozen, my mind reeling as I try to process the shock of it all. A daughter. I have a daughter. With Hayden, the love of my life, the woman I thought I might never see again.

And then, like a dam bursting, the joy hits me. Pure, unadulterated elation, so intense it steals my breath and brings tears to my eyes. I'm moving before I even realize it, crossing the room in three long strides to sweep Amira up into my arms.

"Hello, little one," I whisper, my voice choking with awe and wonder. "I'm your father. And I love you so, so much."

I pepper her tiny face with kisses, marveling at the impossible softness of her skin, the sweet smell of her dark hair. She giggles and squirms, her little hands batting at my nose.

Behind me, I hear Hayden sniffle, and I turn to see her watching us with a watery smile, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," she says, her voice thick with emotion. "I was just...scared."

I frown, shifting Amira to one arm so I can reach out and pull Hayden close. "Scared of what?" I ask gently, nuzzling into her hair.

She sighs, her body sagging against mine as if exhausted. "Of everything," she admits, her words muffled against my chest. "Of how you would react, of what this would mean for your life. You're so young, Cagan, with so much ahead of you. I didn't want to saddle you with the responsibility of a child."

I pull back, tilting her chin up so I can meet her eyes. "Hayden," I say firmly, my voice ringing with conviction. "There is nothing, absolutely nothing, more important to me than you and Amira. You are my life.”

She blinks up at me, her lower lip trembling as a single tear slips down her cheek. "But what about your father?" she whispers, her voice small and afraid. "What will he say when he finds out?"

I shake my head, a fierce protectiveness surging through me. "I don't give a damn what my father thinks," I growl, my arms tightening around my little family. "He doesn't get a say in this, in us. And if he can't accept it, then that's his problem, not ours."

Hayden stares at me for a long moment, her eyes searching mine as if looking for any hint of doubt or hesitation. But there is none to be found, only love and certainty and an unshakeable commitment to the two most precious beings in my world.

And then, like the sun breaking through the clouds, a smile blooms across her face. Radiant and joyful and so beautiful it takes my breath away. She surges up on her toes, capturing my lips in a kiss that is at once tender and fierce, a promise and a vow all in one.

I kiss her back with all that I am, pouring every ounce of love and devotion into the press of my lips, the glide of my tongue. Amira coos and babbles between us, and we break apart with a breathless laugh, our foreheads resting together as we gaze down at our perfect, miraculous child.

"I love you," I whisper, the words at once too simple and not nearly enough to encompass the depth of my feelings. "Both of you, more than anything in this world or any other."

Hayden smiles, her eyes shining with a love that matches my own. "We love you too," she murmurs, her hand coming up to cradle Amira's downy head. "So much, Cagan. More than you could ever know."

And there, in that little house in the middle of nowhere, with my entire world in my arms, I feel a peace and contentment that I never knew was possible. A sense of rightness, of belonging, that settles deep in my bones and wraps around my heart like a warm embrace.

This is where I'm meant to be. With Hayden, with Amira, with the family we've created against all odds and expectations. And no matter what challenges may come our way, no matter what obstacles we may face, I know that together, we can weather any storm.

Because this? This love, this unbreakable bond that ties us together?

It's everything. And it's more than enough.