4. Baxter

CHAPTER 4

BAXTER

I stand on the ice, trying not to laugh as I watch an argument between two Mini Mites.

"I'm taller than you!"

"No, I'm taller!"

Their little sticks bang on the ground while the rest of the team skates around them like ants, oblivious to their disagreement.

"I'm older, so I'm taller!" Marty starts to shout, his gloved hand trying to prove his point by banging between their two helmets.

"Don't hit me." Shelby pushes his padded shoulder, and I pick up my pace and move toward them.

"Hey! You two! Get skatin'." They jump a mile, Marty hitting the ice before scrambling back up. Shelby grabs his sleeve to help him, and I can't hide my grin as they tear off around the outside edge of the rink while Ethan and Liam stand on the sidelines cracking up.

I bet those two were just like that at this age.

I know I was.

Or, well, actually… I was probably more like little Josh, studiously working on my stick skills in the middle of the rink.

"Good job, kid." Casey claps and skates forward, directing Timmy around the course we set up so they could practice their dribbling.

I give him a thumbs-up, glad he's on the ice with me today. He didn't have to come down, but when the guys saw me leaving with all my gear, they jumped off the couches and followed me. Casey was offering to help me out before we'd even pulled away from Ponderosa.

It's nice having them around. No one usually practices on a Sunday, but a space came free, and I had some parents asking, so I put out a last-minute invite, and most of the team showed up.

We're running all the best drills—the ones the kids love—and we'll finish with a friendly game that will no doubt be adorably cute and heinously inconsistent of good hockey play. The kids can't help themselves. They see that puck, and they go for it—who cares about structure and effective positioning, right?

I snicker, shaking my head as I come to a stop next to Milo and Claudia, who can't seem to stay on their feet today.

"Come on, you two." I grab a hand each and haul them back up, making sure they're steady on the ice before I let them go and direct them toward Ethan and Liam. "Go and give those two big guys a high five for me and get back here as fast as you can."

I watch them take off, studying their glide and stance. Claudia needs to work on her balance; she's throwing too much weight to her right, and it's making her wobbly. Milo isn't extending his legs far enough either, doing these short, choppy moves that are slowing him down.

The kiddos high-five the giant hockey players, then skate back to me, and I take a knee, explaining what I saw in a way that they'll hopefully understand. I even get up and demonstrate what I mean, but by the time I'm done, they're both distracted by the scuffle breaking out between Shelby and Marty.

"I'm taller!"

Seriously? They need to let that shit go.

Casey's already over there, but I skate across and join him, gently tugging the kids apart. Bracing my hands on my knees, I get down to their level and tell it to them straight.

"There is always gonna be someone taller than you. And there's always gonna be someone shorter than you. It's just the way it is."

"But she's a girl, and I'm older. I should be tallest!" Marty's distress is endearing.

With a kind smile, I wrap my arm around his shoulders and lean in to whisper, "Dude, you're totally gonna be taller than her. Just you wait. But for now, she's got half an inch on you. Deal with it. She's your best friend, man."

The boy lets out a heavy sigh and gives me a withering look before holding out his fist.

Shelby scowls at him before finally pounding knuckles.

"You might be taller, but I'm faster." The boy grins, taking off while Shelby sputters and chases him.

"No fair, you started early!"

I bulge my eyes and share a look with Casey, who's already laughing. "Hey, you agreed to this shit show."

"I didn't mean to," I mutter, leaning against the side of the rink for just a minute and letting the chaos reign. I can already feel it bubbling and escalating, so I'll cut it short soon, and we'll run a quick game to finish.

Checking the clock on the wall, I make sure my timing's good, then watch Casey skate off to instruct Josh on his stick work. My gaze tracks back to Marty and Shelby, still playing chase and now laughing together.

She careens up behind him, checking him against the wall, then laughing hysterically until he grabs her ankle, and she hits the ice with a squawk. The sound that comes out of her cracks them both up, and they're soon lying on that freezing-cold ground, laughing the way only best friends can.

And my mind shoots back ten years… to a different ice rink. To a girl with brown eyes, black curls, and dimples to die for. She'd hold my hand, squealing and wobbling on her skates while I forced her to do my favorite thing with me.

She was always a good sport about it… as long as I then went with her to the nail salon afterward. Yeah, I've had my fair share of pedicures thanks to TT.

My insides shimmer as I remember her sweet face and the way she smiled at me.

She was the prettiest girl I'd ever known.

She probably still is.

And like always, whenever I think about her, I hear that warning in the back of my mind— you'll never love another.

So, what the hell does that mean for me?

She's with someone else.

She can never be mine.

Does that mean I'm destined to a life of solitude?

Sure, there's some appeal to that, but when I see my friends with their ladies, I can't help aching, because I want that too.

The problem is… I only want it with Tammy.