35. Tammy

CHAPTER 35

TAMMY

By the time the boys get home, the game of Truth or Dare is over—thank goodness. Although, it was kind of fun to learn that Lina's goal when she was six was to become the first female POTUS, and Rachel used to write love letters to her eighth-grade teacher and hide them under her bed.

"What? He was the first male teacher I'd ever had. He was so dreamy."

Caroline's big truth came out, and we all fell over in hysterics when she told us how she once bought her parents "special" brownies from a guy on the street.

"I was like sixteen, and I had no idea why he was selling these cakes. I didn't even know what ‘special' brownies were, and they smelled delicious. He said it was a secret, magical recipe. It was Dad's birthday, so…" She shook her head and snorted. "He got so high."

Jolie giggled. "Was that the night he did that really weird sermon at the youth event?"

Caroline snorted and started nodding.

"He was talking total smack, and we had no idea what was up with him."

"Then we sang him ‘Happy Birthday,' and he started dancing on the stage!"

Jolie gasped while Caroline's mouth opened with one of those silent laughs that was so strong she couldn't even make a sound.

She flopped against her cousin, who was close to hysterics as well, and then we all couldn't stop giggling.

After that, Mikayla, who was well tipsy on wine tasters by this stage, snorted hot sauce up her nose. Tears were pouring out her eyes, and her nose didn't stop running for like fifteen minutes. The funniest part of it all was that she'd dared herself to do this. So, yeah, maybe she was drunker than I thought.

Thankfully, she's currently in the shower and hopefully sobering up so my sweet little four-year-old doesn't have to see her totally hammered.

Caroline and Jolie have left now. I think they're meeting up with Casey and some of the other guys at Offside. Lani and Ray are in the kitchen finalizing their thoughts on wine, which doesn't really interest me.

I skip down the stairs, pushing up my sleeves as Kai and Baxter walk in. My little boy comes racing over to me, and I catch him in my arms, lifting him high and swinging him around.

"How's my boy?"

"I want to be a hockey star!" he shouts. His loud enthusiasm surprises me, and I can't help laughing as I share a quick look with Baxter.

"Do you now?"

"Yeah, I want to be like Casey and go fast and get goals like Ethan."

"Or you could be a goalie like Baxter. Saving the day all the time."

I love the way Baxter's cheeks splash with color whenever someone gives him a compliment.

Kai tips his head in thoughtful consideration, then wrinkles his nose and wriggles out of my arms. "No, I want to score the goals and go fast!" He takes off, running for the kitchen, and I turn to Baxter, my eyebrows rising high.

"Okay, who is that kid, and what have you done with my son?"

He gives me a shy smile. "He loved being there today. You should have seen his face."

I'm instantly disappointed that I didn't join them. Not that I'd been invited. Kai was clear it was a boys' trip, and it was so freaking adorable, I couldn't argue with him.

"Maybe we should take him to a game sometime."

"I'd love that." Baxter's eyes start to dance as he glances around us, checking the coast is clear before pulling me into his arms and lightly kissing my lips.

I chase his mouth when he pulls away from me, giggling and palming the back of his head, forcing him to deepen the kiss and give me some more of his delectable sugar.

He obliges, and my insides simmer with desire.

We haven't shared another night since the weekend. With the house full and Kai sleeping in the same room as me, it's a little awkward. But the girls all know now, so maybe it's okay for me to sneak up to Baxter's room tonight.

I pull away from him, ready to tell him about my afternoon when my phone starts ringing. Tugging it out of my back pocket, I glance at the screen and deflate.

Baxter frowns, looking at the screen too.

"Oh," he murmurs. "I guess you better get that."

"Do I have to?" I mutter.

"He's Kai's father, so… yeah, you have to." His voice is flat as he lets me go and walks away without a backward glance.

With a heavy sigh, I slide my thumb across the screen and shuffle into the parlor for a little privacy.

"Hi, Hudson."

"You're divorcing me now? What the fuck, Tamara? Were you even going to talk to me about this?"

I grit my teeth. "I take it you've been speaking to my mother."

"Actually, my mom told me."

"Of course she did." I roll my eyes. Our parents are way too close, sitting in the background trying to organize our lives for us. It doesn't matter that we've moved away from Gladstone and are grown-ass adults now. They still want to control everything.

"You can't do this."

"Actually, I can."

"You said you wanted space, and I've given you that. You can't just cut me off, ignore me, and then decide you want a divorce without giving me any say in the matter. This is ridiculous." I clench my teeth again, gripping the phone as he lets out a huff, then lowers his voice. "It's time for you to come home. I don't know where you've been, but it's obviously given you no perspective. You've had plenty of time to process what you saw, and now we need to be mature adults and work through this."

Frowning at my reflection in the window, I open my mouth to deny him, but he just keeps going.

"I need to know where you are."

I shake my head.

"You need to tell me where my son is." His tone gets harsh and snappy.

I blink in surprise. "He's with me. Safe and happy. You can talk to him right now if you like."

"I called to talk to you!" he barks. "Tell me where you are. Right now."

"I—" Biting my lips together, I force air through my nose, willing myself not to start yelling into the phone and alerting everyone in this villa of the heinous phone call I'm enduring. "I don't want to tell you where I am, but if you'd like to talk to Kai, I can pass him the phone."

"It is my right as his father to know his physical location. You are essentially kidnapping him if you don't tell me that."

"What?" I squeak. "You're accusing me of kidnapping my own child?"

"He's my kid too!"

"Really? Because you know, we've been away for three weeks now, and not once have you texted to ask how he's doing or called to talk with him. Every communication I've had with you has been about us, not him." I tut. "Where is this even coming from, anyway? You work such long hours, he barely knows who you are. It's not like you ever play with him or?—"

"He's my kid, and I miss him. I want to see him. I want to see you ." He sounds so desperate that it makes my heart stutter.

I snap my eyes shut.

"Don't make me take you to court over this, Tamara."

The sudden threat and his icy change in tone makes my heart go from a stutter to a dull thud. My breath catches, my brain pulsing with a sickening beat that makes me want to throw up.

"You can't just divorce me and walk away with my kid. I have rights too. He's my son, and I'm not just handing over custody without a fight. You know I'll demolish you. Why would you risk losing him?"

My insides run cold. What the hell is he doing? Why is he saying this stuff? Where is?—

I go still, a dull ache spreading through my system like a virus when it hits me. Hudson's parents. His mother is a force to be reckoned with, and as soon as my mother mentioned the D-word to her, she would have gone into battle mode. She's probably demanding Hudson step up and start getting tough with me.

I can just hear her voice in my head. "Stop pandering to her need for space and rattle her cage, Hudson! Kai's your son, and you will fight for him. Do whatever it takes!"

"You don't have to do this." I wish my voice was coming out stronger, but it's getting shaky as I rest my head against the cold glass and try not to cry.

"Don't think for a second that I'll just back down and let you do this to us. What do you think a judge is going to say when he hears you just took off with our kid and refused to tell me where you were?"

"What do you think they'll say when they find out I left because you cheated on me?"

"That has nothing to do with parenthood. Now stop denying me access to my son!"

"I'm not denying you access," I argue, feeling sick to my core. "I can go and get him right now. You guys can talk."

"You know he's allergic to talking on a phone. He'll just stand there saying nothing."

"But he could hear your voice."

"Tell me where you are. I need to know where you are for my own peace of mind. You've got my kid. I deserve to know his location."

With a heavy sigh, I murmur, "We're in Nolan. It's a small town in Colorado."

"Why'd you go there?"

My insides pinch so tight it actually hurts. I fist my sweater and agonize for a moment over what to say.

If I mention Baxter, will he freak out?

It's none of his business anyway… is it?

"Tammy? You still there? Why Nolan?"

"Because it's a safe, happy place," I blurt. "We're staying in a beautiful old villa that's about to be opened up as an exclusive bed-and-breakfast. It's peaceful here. And Kai's doing really well." I suck in a breath, then say what I know I'm supposed to say even though I really don't feel like it. "Now, if you want to see him, let's set a time and I'll bring him to you."

His stony silence settles into my bones, and I shudder when he finally breaks it in a gruff voice. "I'll check my schedule and get back to you. But stop ignoring my messages. I'm his parent too. I… I miss you guys. I want you to come home."

I shake my head, and it's like he can sense me doing it.

His sigh is heavy. "I made one mistake, Tam. Are you going to hold that against me forever? We're a family."

Closing my eyes, I ward off the tears.

A family?

Are we really?

When a wave of raucous laughter reaches me from the kitchen, I have to wonder. How is it possible to feel more at home with someone I haven't seen in years and a bunch of strangers I've only just met?

How is it that speaking to my husband fills me with zero warmth, yet one smile from Baxter can make me feel like I'm glowing?

Family. This old villa filled with hockey players and their girlfriends… that's family.