34. Baxter

CHAPTER 34

BAXTER

As soon as Casey invited Kai to one of the Cougar practices, the little kid was begging to go. We're technically not allowed in here, but of course Casey pulled a few strings, and Asher helped him sweet-talk the coaches into letting us watch one practice. So here we are, sitting in the stands and watching my friends speed across the ice. Kai's snuggled up on my knee for a better view, and because the kid's so skinny that staying warm in the arena is nearly impossible for him.

I tuck my arm a little tighter around him, loving the way he cheers and keeps glancing up at me with a huge grin. His eyes are like "Did you see that?"

"They're pretty fast, right, buddy?"

He nods, his gaze glued to the rink.

The practice finishes up with a short game, and Kai flinches every time someone gets checked, then laughs as they tussle for the puck.

When Ethan flicks his stick and the puck goes firing into the goal, Kai lifts his hands in a cheer. Nothing comes out of his mouth, of course, but I can tell he's excited.

"Think you might want to play hockey one day?" I murmur.

He whips around to look at me. "Like that?" He points at the rink.

I nod.

His thoughtful little face is adorable, and I wait him out while he slowly thinks about it.

"Do you think I can?" His voice is so soft, I nearly miss it.

I lean my head a little closer. "Kai, I think you can do whatever you want. With a little hard work and determination, anything is possible."

It's like I'm handing him a gold star. His face lights with the sweetest smile, and I'm pretty sure I just made his day.

His back straightens with a proud grin, his chin rising just a little, and I'm pretty sure I'm falling hard for this lil' dude. I'm already in love with his mother, so it makes sense, right? But I never thought I could love a kid so much as well, especially one that isn't mine.

But this quiet, sweet boy on my lap is turning my heart to putty.

Assistant Coach Fisher blows the whistle, ending the practice and shouting at everyone to hit the showers. He's one of the younger coaches, just started this year, and seems to be pretty capable. He's strict and no-bullshit. I watched him working with the defensemen this session, and he seemed pretty switched on and decisive. Hopefully, he'll be a good asset to the team.

Casey skates to the edge and beckons us down. "Come on, kid, I'll give you a spin on the ice."

Kai's eyes pop wide, and he turns to check with me.

My heart pinches with affection, and I nod, letting him off my knee so he can walk down the stairs.

He gets to the edge of the rink, and Casey picks him up, nestling him on his hip and skating around the sides. Kai squeals and clings tight as Casey builds up speed, laughing at Kai's reaction.

"Pierce! Get that kid off the ice!" Fisher shouts at him.

"Just one more lap, Coach." Casey raises his arm and flies around the rink for a final round, ice spraying off his skates when he comes to an abrupt stop next to me.

Kai's laughing, his eyes sparkling like he's never had so much fun in his life.

"Did you like that?" Casey ignores Coach Fisher's fuming and grins at Kai.

The little guy bobs his head, then wraps his arms around Casey's neck in a hug that must be his form of thank you.

Casey grins at me over his shoulder, patting his back before handing him over to me. I grab him, throwing him over my shoulder and scoring a bunch of new squeals as I spin him around, then walk him out of the arena.

Like Casey, I ignore Coach Fisher's glares. The guy must only be a year or two older than me, so I don't find it that intimidating, although the good boy in me does hustle to get out the doors. It was a privilege to even come to this practice, and the only reason I got in is because the head coach likes me. He's always loyal to his players—past and present.

"Can we go again?" Kai asks me when I tip him back, resting him on my hip and walking him to the car.

"Not sure we'll be allowed. That was a special treat. But…" I bounce him on my hip. "You can come to my practices anytime you want. I'm sure your mom won't mind."

Kai nods thoughtfully.

"You know…" I stop by the car and hand him the keys so he can press the button to unlock it. "Once your skating gets better, maybe you can join my Mini Mite team."

"Really?" His eyes bulge wide, his small mouth popping open.

"Yeah, totally. If you're into that idea, maybe we can go skating tomorrow, get your practice up."

He nods, then swallows like he's a little nervous.

I smile at him, placing him on the ground so he can climb into the car on his own. He buckles his booster seat, and I check that it's secure before sliding behind the wheel. I catch his eye in the rearview mirror. "You're gonna be a great skater, Kai. It's all about confidence and time on the ice. As you get better, your confidence grows, and then you can do even more. You're gonna be awesome."

He grins at me, then bites his bottom lip, looking out the window and humming to himself as we drive back to Ponderosa.

I've never felt more like a dad in my life. And shit, it's a great feeling.

Too bad he's not my kid.

I glance in the rearview mirror again, the thought sitting like an ugly weight in my chest.

He's not mine.

But, oh man, I wish he was.