Chapter 4

BEFORE BED, Garvin made a snack of some crackers and cheese. William wasn't too hungry, but he nibbled a little. "You need to eat. Up here, the cold has a way of catching up with you, and after what happened this afternoon, your body is going to need the calories to heal." Garvin also gave him a glass of juice that he gulped down quickly.

"It's so dry here. I didn't expect that." William sat back down.

"Cold air doesn't hold moisture. There's no room. So it snows and then becomes very dry. I'm told that if it's cold enough and you throw a mug of hot coffee in the air, nothing will come down. It will vaporize instantly because of how dry it is."

William kept finding himself wandering nervously to the window to look at the light show and then to the kitchen area again before going back to the window. Maybe Garvin was right. He hadn't actually said it, but his tone carried more than enough rebuke. Maybe this was the stupidest idea he had ever had… and goodness knows he'd had more than his share of doozies. How he got himself into these situations was beyond him. William knew he wasn't a bad person, and he never set out to do the wrong thing—it just seemed to happen to him. His grandmother always told him that he was a "leap before you look" kind of guy. That sort of decision-making seemed to work for him, at least as far as his career was concerned.

Most people knew it was a long shot to break into show business in any way. It took talent and a great deal of luck. William knew that now, but at the time he was starting, he just figured he had what it took and that doors should open for him… and they did. That was the amazing thing. Maybe they shouldn't have, because William hadn't struggled. Everything just fell into place. Maybe he expected that everything else would do that. Even though he knew he was lucky, part of him still thought he was some sort of golden boy .

"Have you ever tried the coffee thing?" William asked, pulling his mind out of thoughts of himself. His mind always went there.

"No. It doesn't get that cold here, but it does farther north," Garvin said. He added more wood to the fire and closed the stove door. William tried to stifle a yawn, but fatigue was quickly catching up with him. "Let me get you something to sleep in." Garvin trudged off with Sasha right behind him.

William once again looked out the window. The aurora still lit up the sky, and he wondered at the beauty of this place. He could see how it could entice you. It had lured William into coming up here and then getting out of the car. Maybe this was the stupidest thing he had ever done in his life, and he should go back to the city and the warmth and let Garvin go on with his life.

With his host out of the room, William took a closer look around. The walls held a few pictures. A taxidermied squirrel sat on a shelf, and there were a few photos, mostly Garvin with people William didn't know. One thing that jumped out at him was that there were no pictures of John, William, or anyone from back in California. Even on the simple bookshelves in the corner, there were just books and a few knickknacks that might have been in the cabin since it was built. But there was little of Garvin or, particularly, his earlier life.

"You can use these," Garvin said from behind him.

"Thanks." William took the clothes and used the bathroom to get into the sweatpants and T-shirt. He also cleaned up a little before joining Garvin in the bedroom.

The truth was he was a little nervous. Garvin was already under the covers, and Sasha lay curled up on the other half of the bed. "That's enough. You need to give William room."

The dog huffed and jumped down. William climbed in the other side and pulled up the thick covers, waiting for the warmth to build.

"I'll probably get up a few times in the night to add wood to the fire. I usually do. The heat will kick on if it gets too cold in here."

"Thanks, Garvin." William rolled over. "For everything." He closed his eyes as Sasha jumped back onto the bed and walked over near his feet before thudding down on top of them. "Your dog is trying to squish my feet." He bumped his feet upward, determined the dog wasn't going to beat him for bed space. Sasha growled when William moved his feet higher. "Stop it, you giant ball of hair. I'm way more diva than you are." He pushed harder, and Sasha shifted over.

"Well played," Garvin said. "Now go to sleep and get some rest. You need it." His voice was cool, but then he lightly stroked William's shoulder under the covers. "We'll deal with everything in the morning."

Exhaustion caught up with him in minutes, and William went right to sleep.

IT WAS still dark when he woke again. Sasha had worked his way upward, pressing William right next to Garvin, who had an arm around his waist. They were almost spooned together. The important thing was that William was warm. He shifted slightly, and two things became immediately apparent. The first was that something thick, long, and very hard pressed against his butt, and the other was that Garvin's hand was an inch away from his own excitement, which throbbed when he thought of Garvin's cock pressed to him. William considered rolling over and making the most of this development, but no. He lay still, deciding it was best to ignore the situation. Then Garvin nestled closer, and that became impossible.

William stifled a groan and tried to close his eyes, but all his attention centered on certain pieces of his anatomy that seemed to have a mind of their own. Garvin had made it pretty clear that he wasn't interested in William, at least not sexually or in any way other than William being his pain-in-the-neck friend. Besides, Garvin was asleep, and things like that happened. It didn't mean anything.

Sasha stood up and jumped to the floor. William slowly slipped away from Garvin and then got up. It was still dark, even though the clock read after seven in the morning. He stepped on the floor and did his best not to groan at the cold. The furnace was running, so at least the house was minimally warm. William used the bathroom and found his socks, which he pulled on before going to the living room.

The stove had nearly gone out, but William put in some of the smaller prices of wood. They caught, and he added some larger logs and closed the door to let the stove heat up. Sasha stood by the door. " I suppose you want me to let you out." William was almost afraid to check the temperature. He cracked the door just wide enough for Sasha to get through and then closed it again, shivering at the frigid air. William wondered if he should wait, but a scratch told him Sasha was back, and he hurried right inside again.

"Thank you for letting him out," Garvin said as he came out of the bedroom. "And for starting the fire." He was already dressed and even had his hair combed. "I need to get online and get my students started for the morning," he explained as he poured two mugs of coffee and brought one to William. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Like a log. I guess I was tired, though I did wake up to something poking me." William figured he'd jab the bear to see if he got a reaction.

"Sasha does that sometimes." Garvin put another log on the fire and closed the stove door.

William cleared his throat. "Somehow I don't think it was Sasha." He couldn't keep his mouth shut.

Garvin hesitated for only a moment before going to sit in the corner of the room at a desk in front of the bookshelves. He started his computer and, after a few seconds, peered around the side of the screen. William pretended not to see him and sat on the sofa, pulling a blanket over his legs. Sasha jumped up and settled next to him. It seemed William had made his first doggie friend, and he stroked Sasha's thick fur, watching Garvin for a few minutes before getting something to read to pass the time.

"ARE YOU done?" William asked, stretching. He'd dozed off with his book. It was nearly one in the afternoon, and his belly was starting to eat itself. Normally William had a minimal appetite, but not today.

"Yes. The lessons are done, and the homework assignments are already starting to come in. I've corrected those and sent them right back. I'll have to work again this afternoon to finish grading their assignments. I also called the trooper in this area about your car. It was towed out, and they brought it to the trading post. One of the guys will get it running for you. Enrique said that there didn't seem to be any body damage."

"I see. That's good." Last night William had been so confident about Garvin and staying, but maybe he should just drive back to Anchorage and get a flight home. "I don't know what to say. That was very nice."

"Everyone helps out here. Let's get you dressed properly and we'll head out." Garvin got him a heavier coat and other snow gear. They were a little big on him, but he put on a few other layers to fill out with some bulk. Garvin banked the fire and checked that William was all set. Sasha sat by the door, bounding out as soon as Garvin opened the door to a frigid winter postcard. Snow drifted down from everywhere, covering everything. The gray clouds hung low over the lake. The light was even more muted than yesterday, and it felt like it was late in the day rather than the middle of it.

"You want me to ride on that?" William asked, taking the helmet Garvin handed him before jumping onto the snowmobile.

"Yes. Now get on. It's the best way to get around this time of year." He started the engine, and William got on behind Garvin, slipping his hands around his waist. Something like this should have been a dream, but as soon as Garvin started forward, William held on tighter and prayed he didn't die or freeze to death.

Neither happened, and after a few minutes, William relaxed a little. Though occasionally cold air found its way in, he was still warmer than he had been traipsing through the woods. To stay warm, he pressed closer to Garvin and used him as a windbreak. It was nice being this close to him. They slowed when they reached the highway, and then continued onward before pulling up in front of a rustic but sturdy building. William didn't know quite what to make of it, but the inside was warm, and that was the most important thing. He hung up his gear next to Garvin's and took a few seconds to look around.

"Guys, this is William, a friend from a previous life in LA. It was his car that was stranded." Garvin motioned William to a small table, and William sat down, grateful that Garvin hadn't highlighted his stupidity .

A huge man slipped off his stool. "I'm Big Bob, and I'll look at your car for you to make sure it starts. We found your gear in the back seat, and Enrique brought it inside for you."

"Thanks. I appreciate that. I intended to surprise Garvin with a visit, but I guess we both got more than I bargained for." He shrugged, and Bob clapped him on the back.

"I don't doubt it. This is the Alaskan bush, and plenty of folks get more than they were counting on out here." He laughed. "Just be glad you made it in one piece."

"Thanks. I'm glad I'm here." He glanced around again and then sat down. This really did seem like a totally different world. Guys sat at the bar with beards that hadn't been trimmed in days, or maybe ever. Guys back home made sure everything was perfect before they stepped out the door, and here, these men were just as God made them… so to speak.

"The menu is on the board. It's pretty basic, but everything is good."

"Why don't you order for me." He rubbed his hands together. "And I'm going to do what I do best: shopping." He spotted racks of winter gear and figured he would make sure he stayed warm. He wandered over and began looking through what they had.

"You seem like a fish out of water," a handsome man said, and William wondered where he'd seen him before.

"I am a little." He held out his hand. "William. I'm visiting from LA, and I need proper gear. I borrowed what I'm wearing from Garvin, and as you can see, it's a little big." They shook hands.

"Devon."

William gasped. "You're the artist." He grinned as Devon nodded. "I knew I recognized you. I saw you at your show in Hollywood last year. Your work is amazing. I bought one of the pieces and have it hanging in my condo. It's my favorite of all time." He restrained himself from going complete fanboy all over the place. Still, he pulled out his phone to show Devon the work he had and where he had placed it.

"That scene is from this side of the lake, less than a mile from here. It's near the library." Devon seemed pleased.

"I think I read you live here."

Devon smiled. "My husband owns the trading post. He's working in the back right now. And you're visiting Garvin." He looked at William strangely.

"We're old friends," William said .

"I see." Devon had one of those gazes that left him wondering just how deeply he was looking. It was almost unsettling. "I'm glad Garvin has some company. He spends a lot of his time alone. We tried fixing him up with a friend…."

William wanted to growl. He had no right to be possessive of Garvin, but he felt it anyway. Devon nodded, and William wondered how much his expression had given away.

"But he's a tough nut to crack."

William snickered. "I'm good with that." He glanced at Garvin, who was talking to a couple of guys. Their gazes met for a second, and William swallowed at the momentary heat that flared and then slipped away.

Devon seemed to understand. "You'll have to be. I attempted to paint Garvin last summer. He was sitting outside his cabin by the lake. I rowed across and sat in the boat, looking and drawing."

"Did he get upset?"

Devon shook his head. "It wasn't that. As I watched him, he looked up, and my hands stopped midstroke. His eyes were filled with pain and loneliness. It hit me hard, and before I knew it, I had drawn him that way. I still have it, but I can't bring myself to paint him, because every time I look closely enough, it's all I see."

William wiped his eyes as laughter filled the room. Garvin sat next to the other guys, who had all shared something funny, and there it was, those brooding eyes. Garvin's lips had turned upward and he was laughing with the rest, but it didn't reach that far.

"You see it too," Devon said, and he nodded. William had to admit that until this moment he hadn't, but as soon as Devon mentioned it, William wondered how he could have missed it all this time.

"Yeah, I do now, and I know the source of it." He wasn't going to talk about Garvin's past. That wasn't his information to share. "But I don't know if there's anything I can do to help." Or if Garvin would ever let him, or anyone, in again.

"Will you try?" Devon asked.

William nodded. "I'll do my best." It seemed that maybe what he wanted and what might be best for Garvin lined up. At least that was what Garvin's friends thought. But with Garvin, the hard part was getting him to unclench long enough for anyone to make it past his sphincter-tight defenses. "But if I'm going to stay, I'm going to need proper winter gear that will fit me."

"I can help with that. But don't expect anything to be very fashionable."

As cold as it was outside, fashion was the last thing William was worried about. Devon helped him find a dark coat and pants that actually fit and didn't look hideous, so William considered that a win. He also got some extra-heavy socks. The boots Garvin had loaned him fit well, so he was lucky there. None of the ones at the trading post fit. By the time he was done, he'd racked up quite a bill. He handed Devon his credit card and joined Garvin at the table.

"Get everything?" Garvin asked as their lunch was brought.

William nodded, his mouth watering. He thanked Angie and dug into the cut of meat with gusto. He was pretty sure it wasn't beef but didn't ask. It tasted good—slightly earthy, but he was hungry enough to eat a bear… even if he hoped he actually wasn't.