Chapter Seventeen

Brooke

I’m sitting at the small kitchen dining table, nibbling on the lunch Stella made me.

It’s been twelve days since Xavier stormed out of the house and I still haven’t heard from him. I’ve given myself a migraine trying to wrap his reaction around my head. He switched right before my eyes, turning into a different person entirely with an ashen face and crazed eyes. I get that he detests the idea of having a baby that much, but surely by now he would have calmed down enough that we can at least discuss it like normal adults. But as he’s not picking up calls or returning any of my messages, he obviously doesn’t want anything to do with me.

I tell myself the reason I keep trying to reach him is that I’m worried about him and not that, in spite of everything, I’m so lovesick I’m craving the sound of his voice.

I can’t not have this baby. Still, I wait for him. To tell me to go jump off a bridge, or that he’ll play his part… anything, just talk to me. Stella and I have worked out I’m around seven or eight weeks. I started to take pregnancy vitamins and booked myself into antenatal already because I want this baby with a fierceness that shocks me. And part of the reason is that it’s Xavier’s.

How pathetic is that?

I pick up my phone and start scrolling down my recent calls.

“Brooke, don’t do that.” Stella has been hovering, making sure I eat my dinner. “Don’t obsess. You’ve sent him enough messages. Any more and you’d be begging. And I will not let you do that.”

She’s been so angry I worry she’ll give herself a heart attack. I guess she feels responsible for pushing me toward the guy in the first place. Although she didn’t make me have unprotected sex. No, that part is all on me.

“It’s been almost two weeks, Stella. I’m worried about him.” I nibble on dry toast. As if in tune with my roiling emotions, the morning sickness has worsened in the past couple of weeks.

“Brooke, he’s fine. If he’d died it would have made the news.” Stella sees the stricken look on my face and softens. “I mean, of course nothing’s happened to him. He’s probably just—working… okay, I don’t know what the hell he’s doing but he better have a fucking terrific excuse for pulling this shit.” Stella grabs a large mug from the cupboard. “Here, I’ll get your ginger tea.” She stomps around the kitchen.

Everyone is so angry these days, I think. I’m just hollowed out. I wish I could be angry, but all I do is cry and worry. Stella says it’s the hormones. I can’t even speak to Mom and Nan, I wouldn’t know where to begin. I feel like I can’t tell anyone else until I’ve spoken with Xavier.

I look at my phone again. “Maybe if I speak to Zoey?”

Stella gives me a look .

“I just need to know, Stella. Yes, he might tell me to go to hell and he might be cold and uncaring, but I can’t live in this limbo. The silence is killing me. Maybe if I know for sure, then I can move on.”

Stella is still shaking her head when I wipe the stupid tear hanging onto my lower lash and dial Zoey’s number, putting the phone on speaker.

“Hey, Brooke!” she answers. “It’s so nice to hear from you. I’ve been meaning to call.”

Stella and I look at each other.

“Hi, Zoey,” I say.

“We’ve missed you, so much. Lisa most of all. I think she’s been saving her art project for when you come by, but Xavier is just besotted with you. It appears Lisa isn’t the only one who needs to learn how to share…”

“Um, Zoey,” I begin, “have you… seen Xavier?”

“Xavi? Is he not with you?”

“No, I’ve not seen him in almost two weeks.” My voice breaks. “I just want to know, Zoey, is he alright?”

“He called me from work today and he seemed alright.”

“I see.”

“Did you say he’s not contacted you in two weeks?” Zoey sounds incredulous.

“Yes, well, we had an argument and he walked out. He’s not responding to my messages. I don’t even think he’s reading them.”

“That’s very unusual behavior for Xavi. He’s not one to let quarrels fester.”

Zoey continues, “To be honest, I haven’t seen much of him either. Dan and I have been out of town and his parents have had Lisa for the past week; we only just got back this morning. Brooke, if you don’t mind me asking, what was the fight about?”

“Um.” I lose the courage to speak. I look at Stella and she nods. “I’d appreciate it if you kept this between us.”

“Of course,” Zoey says.

I let out a sigh. “I found out I’m pregnant.” I hear Zoey’s gasp. “I told him…”

“And he didn’t take it well. Figures.”

“What do you mean?”

“Brooke, you can’t imagine how grateful I am that you’ve told me this. I’ll check in on him and let you know. But would you do me a favor and meet me for coffee or lunch tomorrow? I don’t mind if it’s closer to yours, just in case you want to get back to work. It’ll just be us two.”

“Um, okay.” I think of Libby’s. “There’s a place not far from Regal Elementary that I sometimes have lunch at.”

“Right, and your school is on Howard Avenue, isn’t it?”

“Yes, I’ll text you the address, although I’m not sure I’ll be able to take a lunch break tomorrow.” The new arts and music club assistant starts tomorrow. “Perhaps around four o’clock?”

“Definitely. And, Brooke? Thank you. See you tomorrow.”

I hang up.

“What do you make of that?” I ask Stella.

“I don’t know but it sounds like a lot of baggage.”

In the past couple of weeks, Libby’s Kitchen’s homemade cookies have been the perfect solution since I discovered that skipping breakfast altogether in favor of sweetened ginger tea helps me avert the dreaded morning sickness. I’ve taken to having my lunches at Libby’s, which is just a few minutes walk from work.

I’m munching on the third cookie when Zoey walks in, looking elegant in a chocolate-brown pencil skirt, a tan silk shirt, and matching pumps. She’s come straight from work. She spots me and saunters over, her heels clacking on the tile floor. She’s gorgeous. So beautiful , I think, tears stinging my eyes because she looks like Xavier who I haven’t seen in two weeks. She beams at me and I have to look away from the dimple that flashes in her cheek. I take a calming breath as she hugs me tightly.

“Sorry I’m late. Traffic was a bitch.”

“It’s alright, I finished later than I thought, so I haven’t been here long. What would you like?”

“Oh, I had lunch earlier. I ate much more than I should have. Perhaps some water. And those cookies look divine.”

“Yeah, actually, although don’t take my word for it, my tastebuds and sense of smell have gone rogue.”

“Sweetheart,” Zoey says gently, “that bad? Do you know how far along you are?”

“Around eight weeks. Actually, it’s manageable as long as I don’t eat too early in the mornings and I have no meat.”

“Well, you look great. And it’ll pass soon, I promise.”

I say nothing. I don’t feel great. And I’m impatient to hear about Xavier. She notices my silence.

“Are you going to keep the pregnancy?” There’s a desperate plea in her eyes. She needn’t bother. I’d lay down my life to keep it. To Zoey, I say softly, “Xavier…?”

“Yes, Xavi is fine, physically at least. He’s been staying at one of his hotels, the Crowne.”

Wow, okay, I didn’t know he owned the Crowne on Fifth Avenue. One of the hundred million and one things I don’t know about my boyfriend. Who apparently has moved out of his house to avoid me. I’m suddenly glad for Stella, who lent me some backbone these past couple of weeks, otherwise, I could have seriously embarrassed myself.

“Do you know why he moved out?” I ask.

“He didn’t move out. He just needed to clear his head. My guess is that his apartment reminds him of you.” Pain lances in my chest. I nod repeatedly as if I understand. I don’t.

“Brooke, it’s not you he’s running away from. It’s himself.”

Funny that phrase, running away. That’s exactly what he told me not to do. Hypocritical jackass.

“It seems like he’s doing everything he can to avoid me.”

“To avoid hurting you!”

I don’t get it. “What are you talking about?”

“Did he tell you about Taylor?”

“His ex-fiancée?” Oh my God, not Taylor again. “I understand she died a few years ago.”

“Yes, but how?”

“No, he didn’t tell me.” My heart starts to pound.

“Exactly six years ago this month, Taylor died in a car accident in which Xavi was the one driving. It was two weeks before their wedding. She was pregnant.”