Chapter 22

Twenty-Two

"Take two drops in some tea every evening, all right?" I told the elderly Allavari woman. I stoppered the vial, making sure the seal was tight. "It'll help with your mobility."

"Does it matter which tea?" she wondered, a concerned look on her face as I helped her stand from the bench. The soothing light of the guild hall's front room was golden, meant to replicate fire light. It was calming, but I remembered Eymaris as always being a worrier. She hadn't changed in nearly ten years. "Because I cannot stomach that tea blend the shops stock. Tastes like flowers! Who wants to drink flowers?"

I bit back my sigh and gave her a soft smile instead, ushering her to the door since I needed to get back to my cottage.

"Any tea will do," I assured her, opening the door, watching her clutch the black bottle of concentrated lovery leaf oil and night nettle, my own special blend, like her life depended on it. "Try the skyberry one. They have it at Griffel's shop."

"Griffel's," Eymaris repeated, as if she needed to speak it to remember it. She gave a long sigh. "I'll go now and see if they have any. I simply cannot stand that flower tea."

I bit back my smile. "Hurry, then, before they close. Remember—just two drops in the tea."

"Two drops," she repeated.

I watched her walk down the cobbled pathway, my lungs squeezing a little when she stumbled over a dislodged rock before she managed to catch herself. She went on her way, and I set out to the path, stamping down the rock and covering it with a heavy layer of soil to keep the edges close to the ground.

When I looked up at the sky, I saw night was approaching and fast. And so I went back inside the Healers' Guild hall, made sure everything was in order in the front room before I left. The next healer scheduled would arrive in mere moments, and I had no more patients for the evening.

As I walked through Rolara at dusk, I admired the brightly lit shop windows, calmed by the thud of my boots on the paved roads, and took in the chatter from passing families and the laughter pouring through windows.

It had been my favorite time of day in the last two weeks, ever since I'd given Lorik the hive heart. The time where the world quieted, people returned to their families, shops closed their doors, and warm light illuminated the darkening streets.

"Good evening, Marion," called a familiar voice. Gwilor, an older Kylorr male who I had treated at the guild hall the week prior.

"Evening," I greeted back as we passed, giving him a small smile.

Another called out to me toward the end of the street. Winnand, an Allavari-Ernitian female, with thick, long blue hair and yellow eyes. She was a baker of Ernitian delicacies and had sliced her hand open on a sharp knife a few days ago.

"How's it healing?" I asked as we passed.

She held up her palm, flashing me a smile. It hadn't quite deep been enough to require stitching, but I was pleased with the progress.

"Almost back to normal!" she reported. "I'll drop off some pastries at the guild hall for you tomorrow. The ones I told you about."

"I'm looking forward to it," I told her. I smiled and waved her off, my strides a little more upbeat. Even as I passed Grimstone's Tavern tonight, laughter and conversation filtering from the windows, it didn't dampen my mood.

My footsteps hushed as I stepped on the dirt-lined path of Market Row, where I sold my goods every month, and then the Black Veil loomed before me. For once, it didn't seem like a relief to enter its shadowed depths. For once, I wondered if I should go back to Grimstone's, order a goblet of wine after the day, sit in a back booth, and not think of Lorik.

When I'd made the decision to return to the Healers' Guild, to take on a shift every single day, I hadn't quite known what to expect. Only that I'd needed to. I'd felt that need so strongly in my chest that it had felt crushing.

It was partly to do with Lorik. My aching heart hadn't been able to withstand the quiet of my cottage and the familiarity of the daily routine I'd created there. I'd been restless, grieving, overthinking, heartbroken, and angry…and I knew if I didn't change something, it would drive me mad.

Lorik had been the catalyst…but I'd known for a long time, hadn't I? I'd known that if I didn't start living a different life, if I didn't start filling it with things I wanted, not things that were comfortable and familiar, then I would die alone. I would never know love. I would never have a family of my own. I would become bitter and angry. And I didn't want to be.

The night after I'd given Lorik the shadevine-hive heart, I'd had a dream that I'd transformed into a Shade. A lifeless, soulless Shade, wandering the Black Veil, in search of something but never quite being able to find it.

I'd woken in a cold sweat, crying, gripping my chest as if I could've squeezed my hand around my heart like I had in the hive.

That morning, I'd gotten dressed…and I'd gone straight into Rolara. Nothing had deterred me from my path to the Healers' Guild hall, tucked against the north end of the village, and I'd gone straight to Salladar, the head of the guild. I'd told him I wanted a daily shift, one he'd hesitantly given me. It'd had nothing to do with my ability. Salladar knew my ability better than anyone…he'd trained me himself, after all, when I'd first started my studies after leaving Correl's.

But the sudden change in me had likely startled him, whereas all I'd felt was determination and desperation. I'd taken an oath to help the people of Allavar. I'd turned my back on it in the last decade. I could understand his reluctance. I didn't know what he'd seen in my eyes that morning, but he'd let me stay, on the condition that I helped with the guild's glowflies once every week.

The pay was meager, but it gave me a renewed sense of purpose again. I talked to more people in a day than I had in the previous month combined. People began to greet me in town, the whispers beginning to die out though I did still catch a few now and again—no doubt curious why I was in Rolara every day. I'd even caught sight of Veras a few times, but he'd only nodded at me, his familiar guard always trailing him. There was an unspoken truce between us. Tentative but there.

And in the evenings, I returned to my cottage. If Peek was displeased that I was away from the cottage for longer some days, he didn't show it. My only worry in returning to the cottage every night was that I'd be gone too long.

After I'd taken the shadevine-hive heart, I'd done my absolute best to keep the remaining glowflies alive without the queen. I heated a large spherical river rock every morning and every evening. I woke in the middle of the night at least once too. It was large enough that it kept the entire hive warm for hours, and I figured it must've been working because the glowflies were still alive. Even without the queen, they still worked for me, tending to the shadevines.

I didn't know how long it would work. But I would wake up every hour in the dead of winter if it meant saving them. I owed it to them.

Walking through the Black Veil now, I wondered what I would do in a few weeks when the sun would set long before my shift at the guild hall ended.

Veras had said that more and more Shades were roaming the Black Veil, and while I had yet to encounter one on my walks home, I knew it might only be a matter of time. I'd always seen them, here and there. They stayed far away, and I knew that Peek would protect me. But knowing that there was unrest in the Below, that Lorik was frightened about something…it had made me uneasy every single night.

I never breathed a sigh of relief until I stepped beyond Peek's boundary, and I wondered if I should start bringing him into Rolara with me for extra protection come winter.

Peek might even like it,I thought. He could wander the streets and spy on people while I worked in the guild hall.

A branch snapped in the Black Veil, and I froze on the path, my heart pounding in my chest. My hand went to the dagger I kept hidden at my hip, curling my fist around the hilt.

I scanned the darkening forest without moving my head, my eyes darting back and forth between the wide tree trunks, trying to look for shadows that might be unnatural.

"It's only me," came the voice. "Don't worry. The branch was more brittle than it appeared."

My heart squeezed in my chest, a jolt of sorrow and heartache hitting me harder than I'd thought possible.

Lorik.

"Have you been following me this whole time?" I asked, not bothering to raise my voice, looking in the direction I thought he might've been hiding.

"I just want to make sure you get home safely."

"This is ridiculous," I said, my hand dropping away from the dagger. "Why are you hiding?"

"Because you said you never wanted to see me again."

I pressed my lips together. Yes, he was right about that.

"And you won't—I promise," Lorik continued. "I just wanted you to know that you have nothing to fear in the Black Veil, Marion. I'll always make sure Shades stay away from your path."

I didn't reply, and Lorik said nothing else. I continued on, winding my way home even as my mind raced. I felt flustered, knowing he was watching me, watching over me. How long had he done this without me knowing?

And if it thawed a tiny part of my icy heart, I ignored it.