Chapter 53

fifty-three

ISLA

I'm not sure what I expected to happen after Griffin showed up at my house, unannounced, on Sunday, but it wasn't this radio silence. Some stupid, hopeful part of me imagined Maddox calling me or showing up at my door immediately after.

But that's not what's happened.

"Isla?" Trish pops her head in my empty classroom. When she notices that I'm just sitting at my desk, staring off into space, she frowns. She might be my boss, but ever since things imploded with Maddox, she's felt more like how I imagine an older sister would. She was understanding when I told her I needed a few days off. And since I've been back, she checks on me a few times a day.

"Hey," I reply. My voice comes out flat. I hate it. No matter how often I tell myself things will look up eventually, I can't make myself believe it. "What's up? "

Trish wrings her hands as she steps into my classroom. "I need to talk to you about something."

My stomach flips. Am I being fired? Did I speak too soon about her level of understanding? "Okaaay…"

"As you know, the Rogues donated quite a lot of money to our after-school programs." She winces when I flinch. "And since then, we've developed a relationship with the team. They have gotten a lot of positive publicity from our partnership, and would like to do more."

I force myself to smile. "That's great, Trish."

And it is. Really great. But any mention of the Rogues makes my eyes well up with tears. I miss Maddox. And I miss his teammates and Mira. But mostly, I miss Maddox.

"They have a home game on Saturday night, and they'd like to announce our next joint initiative live after the game. Since all of this came about due to your generous idea, the team's owners have requested that you be present."

O h, god.

"Trish, I don't think that's a good idea." Bile climbs up my throat and my hands tremble. Cold sweat beads along my spine. "I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack just thinking about it."

My boss gives me an understanding look and squeezes my shoulder. "I know, and I'm sorry for asking, but we can't risk this falling through. They've offered to replace all of our outdated computers and technology. Not only that, but they'll be providing laptops and hot spots for every single student. They want everyone to have a way to complete assignments and prepare for college."

Despite my nausea, Trish's excitement is contagious. This is more than I ever could have hoped for when Maddox bribed me to finish our auction date. Things may not have turned out how I wanted with him, but at least some good came out of our relationship.

If I have to be in the same building with him one more time to ensure my students have a shot at a leg up, I can suck it up. It'll just be for a few hours. I'm sure Maddox will be just as motivated to avoid me as I'll be to avoid him.

And when I get home, I'll cry my eyes out, then drown myself in wine and cookie dough ice cream.

"No one else can do it?" I know the answer before I ask, but I have to try.

Trish shakes her head. "I'm sorry, Isla. They specifically asked for you."

My head begins to throb. Right behind my eyes. I rub my temples. "It seems I can't say no. Just email me the details and what I have to do."

"Thank you, Isla. I'm sure you'd rather be anywhere else, but you're doing a great thing. Lives will be changed."

All I can do is nod my head. "I'd do anything for these kids."

"I know," she says affectionately. "I only hope you do something life-changing for yourself when the opportunity arises."

"Of course." I'm not holding my breath. Life doesn't seem to be my biggest fan these days. The most change I can hope for is the kind that involves clean clothes every morning.

Well, most mornings.

Trish gives my hand a squeeze. "Things will get better, Isla. I just know it."

"Thanks." I offer her a strained smile as she waves and leaves for the day.

I'm glad someone thinks things will get better.

I sure as hell don't. Not anymore.

Me

Hey. So I have to go to your game on Saturday because of this thing with my school. Could you help me get tickets for my two best friends? I hate to ask, but…

Griffin

But you don't want to see Madds alone.

Pretty much.

Don't worry, Teach. I gotcha covered.

Thank you. Please don't say anything to him.

Your secret's safe with me.

How is he doing? Has he stopped getting himself into trouble?

He's been better. But he'll be okay. He knows what he has to do now.

The more important question is how are YOU doing?

I've been better. I'll be relieved once this whole thing is done and over with on Saturday.

Mira asked me to find out if she could sit with you and your friends .

My chest squeezes. Mira wants to sit with me after everything? A rogue tear slips down my cheek.

"Stupid tears. We've cried enough."

Me

Of course. I'd love to sit with her if she wants to.

Griffin

She says, "Hell yeah, I do."

LOL. Okay then. Sounds fun.

Well, sounds less tortuous.

Hang in there, Teach. You let me know if you need anything, okay?

Thanks, Griffin.

I want to ask him if he told Maddox everything. Did Maddox believe him? Why hasn't he called me? Does he simply not care? Maybe everything between us was all in my head. If that's the case, I might as well give up on finding love altogether. Clearly, I'm shit at seeing things for how they really are.

Griffin

Night, Isla. See you on Saturday.

Me

See you then. Night.

I have two days to psych myself up. Two days to build up my defenses so I don't crumble like a sandcastle in a rainstorm when I see Maddox for the first time since he dumped me. I can do this. Sitting by his sister will be fine, too. Totally fine.

Everything is fine.

I collapse onto my bed and stare at the ceiling.

Who am I kidding? I'm the furthest thing from fine.

Fake it 'til you make it, though. Right?

Right.