Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Rae

I tried my best to calm my racing heart as I brushed Sassy down, focusing on slowly counting to ten on each inhale. The anger I felt toward Zach was still at a boil, setting me on edge. I couldn't believe that asshole's nerve, accusing me of not behaving like an adult.

"Why are some people such jerks?" I asked Sassy, knowing full well she didn't understand a single word I was saying. "I mean, can you believe he said that? Talk about being a hypocrite."

I held on to the rage he'd ignited with both hands, refusing to let it go. Anger was so much easier to deal with. If I clung to that anger, I could forget he'd hurt my feelings. I could forget, despite the humiliation I felt when he ran out on me, I was still harboring a crush that couldn't seem to go away. Anger was safe. Sadness was something a person could get sucked into and drown. That was a risk I couldn't take, so anger it was.

As if sensing my mood, Sassy kept hooking her chin over my shoulder and pulling me in like she was trying to give me a hug. Each time she did it, I laughed, feeling my mood lighten bit by bit. She really was the most perfect horse in the whole world.

"All right," I giggled when she nuzzled at my pockets, looking for peppermints. "I've got you covered, sweet girl, don't you worry your pretty head about it."

I pulled a mint from my pocket and held it in the flat of my palm for her. She deserved it, for sure. With Hal's guidance, I'd started my training with her, doing what he called ground work. A few days ago we'd moved to saddling her so she could get familiar with the equipment, but today was the first time I'd actually gotten on her back. I would have been lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I'd seen her toss a couple of the guys off her with the ease of swatting at a fly when I first got here. I didn't think I'd bounce back from that kind of fall as easily as they did, but just like she'd been from the start, she was different with me. There had been a moment when I climbed on that she'd tensed up, but she relaxed quickly enough after some soothing words and a few strokes of her mane .

We'd taken it slow, just like Hal had told me to do, keeping her at a slow, steady pace until we were comfortable with each other. She'd followed every one of my commands without throwing any of her signature attitude around. It was like she knew when I was on her back, it wasn't safe for her to mess around, so she saved that for after.

She trusted me and I trusted her, and as I'd guided her around the enclosure, pride had swelled in my chest. That kind of thing wasn't something you could demand, loyalty and trust like that had to be won. I'd earned that from this magnificent animal by being a safe place for her, as she'd been for me all these weeks I'd been at Safe Haven Ranch.

"None of these guys around here know what they're talking about," I said softly, wrapping my arms around her neck and giving her a hug. I breathed in deeply, pulling in a lungful of distinct barn smells, surprised that I actually liked it. The smell, just like the cabin, was becoming a comfort to me. "You're just the sweetest thing, aren't you?"

"You're really good with her."

I whipped around with a surprised yelp at the unexpected voice. "Oh my God." I pressed my hand to my chest, resting it over my racing heart and blew out a gust of air. "You scared the crap out of me. "

The man held his hands up in surrender as he continued in my direction. "Sorry about that. I thought you heard me," he said with an easy grin that dripped with charm. I'd seen that kind of grin a million times. It was a playboy's grin. The kind that could make a woman believe he was pure innocence before he lured her into his bed and showed her the side that was all sin.

I had no doubt this man was skilled when it came to the art of seduction. That smile, his easy swagger, and the confidence that bordered just on the right side of cocky were proof enough. But no matter how attractive he might have been, there was no flutter in my belly or heat building beneath my skin as he directed that charm at me. Not like there was every time Zach entered a room I was in.

I threw him a quick smile before turning back to Sassy. "It's fine," I said as I rubbed the curry comb along her side in a circular motion. One of my favorite parts of this whole experience had been learning to groom my girl. I found the steady rhythm of brushing her out with each different comb helped to clear my head, and I loved how much she enjoyed being pampered. My Sassy girl would have been content to stand there and let me groom her for hours. "You just caught me by surprise is all. You're Connor, right?"

He stopped a few feet away, resting his shoulder against a wooden beam. His hands were shoved casually in the pockets of his jeans, one booted foot crossed over the other. "That's me. And you're Rae."

"Yep."

"Pretty name for a pretty girl."

I shot him a flat look. "Are you flirting with me right now?"

One corner of his mouth hooked up in a smirk. "Depends. Is it workin'?"

I had to give credit where credit was due. The man certainly wasn't lacking in confidence. Before I came here, I would have fallen for this guy's game in a matter of seconds. I was glad to see I'd managed to grow up in that aspect. "No. Not really."

He laughed, the sound far from unpleasant, and pushed off the post to come closer. Sassy let out a snort that didn't sound all that happy as she shifted to the side, pushing against me like she was trying to put her big body between me and Connor.

"Easy girl," I said with a laugh, giving her a pat. "He's harmless..." I cast him a narrow-eyed look, raising a single brow as I added, "mostly."

"Completely," he admitted with a chuckle, reaching out a single hand so Sassy could get a sniff. When she didn't go in for a bite, he slowly stroked her muzzle. "Your owner's got nothin' to worry about from me, fierce girl."

"Oh, Sassy's not mine."

Connor grinned again, and this time the innocence was real. He'd made his move, got shot down, now he was perfectly content to move on to his next conquest. "Not so sure she agrees with that. I've been around my fair share of animals, and it's clear as day this horse has picked you."

My chest puffed out slightly, a smile tugging at my lips. "You think so?"

Just then, Sassy butted my hip with her nose, her way of communicating that she wasn't happy that I'd stopped brushing.

"Absolutely. Some horses like everyone, or at least tolerate them. Then there are some who can't be broken. Refuse to let a soul on their back. Then you have horses like this one right here. They pick their person, and that's it for them." He gave me a considering look. "Like some people. It's you and no one else."

My cheeks heated and the tips of my ears caught fire under his scrutinizing gaze. I ducked my head, pulling my gaze away from him and concentrating on making perfect, precise circles against Sassy's coat with the curry comb. "Yeah, well, I'm not so sure Zach would like me staking claim to one of his horses. "

I caught another flash of Connor's grin from the corner of my eye. "Sweetheart, I'm almost certain he'd sign ownership over to you this very moment if you asked."

My head whipped around in his direction. "What do you mean?"

He shook his head good-naturedly, but also with an air about him, like he was holding onto a secret. "Not really for me to say. Guess that's something the two of you need to figure out."

That flutters that had been missing at Connor's attempt at flirting suddenly filled my belly at his implication, but as difficult as it was to ignore the tiny threads of excitement trying to sprout, I stomped them and reminded myself what Zach had said after our kiss. I knew better than to let myself get carried away in a fantasy. It never led anywhere good.

Quickly shifting the topic to something safer, I said, "You know a lot about horses. Are you a rancher too?"

"Nah. I'm here to catch up with an old buddy and kill some time. I'm a bull rider."

My eyes bugged out and my jaw dropped. "Like, you climb on the back of a big, scary pissed-off bull? You can do that for a living ?"

He chuckled again, nodding his head. "Sure can. A pretty decent one if you're good at it. "

That cockiness was back. Either this man was destined to be a bachelor for the rest of his life, or he was going to meet a woman one day who knocked him on his ass so hard he wouldn't know up from down.

"And I take it from that arrogant smirk on your face that you're good at it?"

The man actually preened, and I couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, sweetheart. I'm not just good. I'm the best. You'll have to come to a rodeo and see me in action."

If I felt like a fish out of water coming to this ranch, I imagined walking into a rodeo would be like stepping into a whole new world.

"I don't think so. I'm sure you're as good as you claim, but I don't think I'd be able to sit there and watch guys try not to get murdered by an animal that weighs almost as much as a Fiat."

"You'd be surprised. It's an adrenaline rush, not only for the man on the bull, but for the people in the crowd too."

Oh, I was sure it had to be. Connor struck me as the kind of man who thrived on adrenaline. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? I wasn't sure.

"So, if you're supposed to be some hotshot bull rider, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in an arena somewhere, trying not to get gored in the ass?"

His grin widened. "I'm here while I let my knee heal, but I'll be back at it soon enough. I try to come for a visit every chance I get. It's always nice to see Zach, and there's just something about this place, you know?"

I let out a long, slow exhale as I looked past the open barn doors to the land beyond. "Yeah," I said quietly. "I do know. This place is kind of incredible."

His brows dipped in at the center, his head cocking to the side as he studied me. "You say that like you're surprised."

I bit down on my bottom lip. "I kind of am. I didn't really expect to like this place when I first got here. It's... not really what I'm used to. But it kind of grows on you. I actually like it better than the city. It'll be an adjustment when I have to go back." Realization dawned as soon as those words fell out of my mouth.

This was temporary. The cabin, Sassy, the jeans and boots, my new friendships... Zach. It was all temporary. This wasn't actually my home, even though it might feel like more of one than L.A. had.

Something slid across Connor's expression, dulling a bit of the shine on his charming, good-old-boy fa?ade. "So you aren't plannin' on stayin'?"

My shoulders came up in a shrug, the knots that had suddenly formed in my stomach feeling like led weights. "I don't really have a plan for what comes after this." That admission left a sour, unpleasant taste on my tongue. "My move here wasn't exactly permanent."

"Yeah, well, maybe not, but this place has a way of stickin' with you, whether you stay or not."

With that ominous statement, he pushed off the workbench, knocking his knuckles against the wood as he took a step back. "Well, I'll let you get back to it. You gonna be at dinner tonight?"

I nodded. "I'll be there shortly. It's my turn to cook."

He hit me with that signature smile of his once more as he continued to back out of the barn, pulling the ballcap from his head and slapping it against his thigh before tugging it back into place. "Then I'll see you there."

I watched as he walked out of the barn, staring at where he'd disappeared before Sassy eventually nudged me back into the present.

I let out a snort and shook my head as I re-focused my attention on her. "That guy's kind of weird, huh?"

I liked to think the snickering sound she made was her way of agreeing, so I gave her another peppermint for being such a good girl, then did my best to push the strange conversation out of my mind as I finished grooming my favorite animal on the planet.