Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Two

Rainier cringed at himself in the looking glass. The sight of his body was never comforting since he kept expecting to see himself getting fatter, and he was sure he’d gained weight now.

He stared at his ribs and was positive they were quite as sharp as last week. Felix had been getting him to eat what he’d agreed to without fail. He’d had to go buy more mellyballs and other fruits to press. Rainier had said he could give his hands a break and skip the juice, but Felix was insistent that he have it.

He turned to look at his back. Was his spine less visible or was he imagining it?

Felix knocked and peeked in. “The physician’s gone. What are you doing?”

Rainier snatched the drying sheet from the stool by the tub to give his wet hair another good rubbing. He wasn’t about to go bald anytime soon, but it fell out easier now.

“I’m sure I’ve gained weight.”

“I don’t think you have.”

“You’re making me eat all day and get fat.”

Felix had avoided saying anything about his weight in the past week, and he frowned. “You’re not fat. I know you don’t believe that, but you’re really not.”

"I feel like it." Rainier pulled up his drawers. “I want to sit.”

He’d learned to get out of the bath much slower, and he wondered if the hot water somehow made the dizziness worse. It wasn’t quite the same as when he didn’t think and stood too fast from a chair.

“You said you don’t see me as fat-”

“You’re not,” Rainier instantly said as he started putting on his sleep pants since it was easier in case he wanted to get in bed. “You’re perfect.”

“Okay, but when you see someone who is actually overweight, do you think they’re lesser or something?”

“No!”

“Then why are you so hard on yourself? Even if you actually were chubby, that wouldn’t bother me. I wouldn’t think you’re lesser either. People have all kinds of bodies.”

Rainier tugged the hem of his shirt down and headed for the door. “I’m not concerned with the bodies of others because I have to live in this body. I have to look at it and feel it. I’ll always have this one, and it’s not exactly cooperating in the way that I want.”

Felix went ahead into the sitting room where another cup was waiting. “That’s yours.”

“I just ate like an hour ago.”

“It’s almond milk with melted cacao. Drink it.”

“I don’t do sweets.”

Felix turned to face him. “Sweets won’t kill you. Maybe your Mum thinks they’re Devil, but they’re not. Juice is sweet.”

“That’s not the same to me.”

“Pretend it’s juice. It’s warm, and it’ll help you. I noticed you had goosebumps.”

Rainier sat at the table. The warmth of the cup on his cold hands was a relief. Inky came to rub on his ankles before he wandered off to the bedroom.

Felix sat in his usual spot. “I’m trying to understand how you feel about stuff and listen to you, but I know I’ll never really get it because it’s not something I experience. I’ve never thought I was fat or worried about my body in that way.”

Lucky man.

“I know you see yourself one way, but that’s because of the bullshit your Mum’s been throwing at you for years, just like your sister. I’m not really sure what she sees, but she’s clearly got some messed up ideas in her head. Other people see you as different. I know that for a fact. The physician’s mad at me too.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not feeding you enough.”

Rainier took a sip of his drink. Fuck. Why did it have to taste so good? “I don’t want more.”

Felix sighed. “I know. I guess he thought the stress tea would help. He’s annoyed because you won’t drink the stuff for your appetite and thinks I should be forcing it on you. He doesn’t seem to actually get what you’re feeling.”

“I know.”

The physician had come after breakfast, and in private, he’d asked if the appetite tea was working. Rainier wasn’t touching that stuff. How would he control himself if it made him ravenous? What if he ate a whole meal. He’d fucking despise himself even more.

He’d admitted to the physician what he’d told Felix. The fairy looked at him like he was crazy, said he wasn’t fat, and it was stress making him project concern elsewhere. He needed to eat proper small meals because juice and toasted bread wasn’t enough along with whatever he managed to force down at dinner.

“I don’t think the appetite tea will help you,” said Felix. “It’ll probably make you miserable because it’s not like you suddenly had some stomach issue and lost the desire to eat. That stuff probably works better for old people or children that aren’t growing right. Or something like that. Anyway, you do need to start eating more.”

“I don’t want to.” Rainier gulped some of the drink to get it over with faster.

“I thought you wanted to sit in a rocking chair with me fifty years from now,” said Felix.

“I do, but-”

“Then you need to start eating a little more because I want to do that too. Do you like almond milk or something else better?”

“I like it better than cow or mookie milk.”

Felix paused. “Who picked the names for animals here?”

“Supposedly, Elira let a child name some of them.”

“Oh. Well, if you like almond milk, that has fat, so how about if you start drinking that now? I can buy more in Rosewood as needed, and you don’t have to have cacao in it all of the time, okay?”

It would save Felix the trouble of cutting and dealing with fruit.

“Fine.”

“And two slices of bread.”

Rainier’s stomach clenched as he stared at the pale brown liquid in his cup. “One feels like too much. I’m not used to eating this often.”

Felix bit the tip of his thumb. “How about if you have two slices at breakfast, two at lunch, two for an afternoon snack, and dinner? You can have one slice before bed and skip the morning snack. Or if you want, you can skip the afternoon snack and have it in the morning instead.”

It was still more food overall, and the fatty almond milk worried Rainier. He was pretty sure he could feel fat growing on his body right at that moment. Two slices of toasted bread was a lot, but Felix was trying to let him have some control. If the physician was here all day, he’d be trying to force all sorts of foods into Rainier. He’d probably run out of patience pretty fast too.

“All right.”

“Do you want to play cards for a bit?”

“Sure.”

Felix had found an old deck in the bedside drawer, and the lord who owned this house surely wouldn’t mind if they used it. It was a good thing they weren’t playing for money because Felix kept kicking Rainier’s ass at most of the games.

Felix had dealt out their hands when they heard hooves outside. He got up to look through the window, and he opened the door. “Er, hi?”

Two of the servants were outside, and they seemed to have ridden up there on one horse. Rainier recognized Sally and Bella although he didn’t see them too much. They usually cleaned Mum’s floor and took care of guestrooms.

“Rainier’s here, right?” Sally’s orange butterfly wings fluttered with excitement.

“Yeah, but-”

Bella spotted Rainier and started pushing her way in.

“Hey!” snapped Felix.

“It’s an emergency!”

“It’s fine, Felix,” said Rainier. “What happened? Did Mum sack you or something?”

Both looked a bit shocked at his appearance, and he suddenly remembered he hadn’t bothered to comb his damp hair. Also, he was in sleep clothes. “She’s going to get rid of you,” said Bella, and Sally nodded as they both came to stand by the table. “We heard some things.”

Sally reddened. “We might have listened at her door.”

Rainier tilted his head. “What do you mean she’s going to get rid of me? I’m her son.”

Bella put her hands on the table and leaned toward him. “Your Majesty, I swear I’m not making this up. We noticed she’s been angry lately, but about a week ago, Princess Natalie went out, and the Queen was with Princess Betty in her sitting room. They were arguing because Queen Eliza wants to take you off the succession and put Natalie up instead.”

“That doesn’t make sense. If anything happened to Mum and I, Betty would come next. Natalie would be last. She wouldn’t take me off anyway.”

“She’s doing it. They were fighting because Princess Betty said that makes no sense too. She’s the Crown Princess, but she doesn’t want the throne, and she doesn’t want Natalie dragged into this. Queen Eliza said you’re not fit to rule. Betty says you are, and you’re just in a rough patch. Eliza said you’re disgusting and you’re not right in the head especially because you’d rather stay here with your, er-” Sally glanced at Felix. “She called you a gem digger and a slut. Sorry.”

Felix heavily sat in his chair and rolled his eyes. “Great. What else did they say about Rainier and Natalie?”

“Um, Betty said she’s not discussing this with her daughter, and when they went home, she better not ever hear of such nonsense again. We didn’t catch everything, but I think Bett-I mean, Princess Betty wanted to sweep that under the rug and pretend it never happened.”

Bella nodded. “This isn’t like your Aunt and cousin are plotting to push you aside, but the Queen is.”

Rainier’s stomach twisted. Despite everything, she’d never threatened to tear him down. He’d thought about potentially walking away, but that wasn’t the same. Rosewood and the Castle was his home. No one had the right to shove him out.

“Rainier,” said Felix. “She can’t do this. It’s not right.”

“She’s above me.”

“I don’t think everyone is inclined to listen.”

Rainier was pretty sure she would at least have a loyal guard or two who would be willing to obey her. If she decided to hold a grudge against Felix…

“So if she takes me off, what then?” asked Rainier. “Would I be kicked out or something?”

“We didn’t hear anything like that, so I’m not sure.”

He had a feeling she wouldn’t be content to let him go away with Felix. She probably thought he was a bad influence. She may have let Felix get away with staying there for a bit while she plotted in secret, but he highly doubted she’d be content to leave him be for good if he was with Rainier. She’d always want to control things.

Betty frowned. “All the servants aren’t happy with her. We’ve been talking about you.”

“We didn’t mean to gossip,” Sally hastily added, even though they all clearly had. “Some of us know the guard’s wives, and a few are distantly related, so things have been going around Rosewood, and others have started talking too.”

“About what?”

“Your Mother’s cruel.” Bella folded her arms. “She’s our Queen, and we servants kept our mouths shut for a long time to avoid angering her, but this is ridiculous. We’ve all heard the way she speaks to you at one time or another even though we’ve pretended not to.”

Rainier remembered Mum didn’t always lay off Addy just because a servant came to take plates or refill their drinks.

“We notice you don’t finish your meals, and that you got so thin. If she’s stressed out you to this point…“ She waved a hand at Rainier. “I don’t have children, but I’d never speak like that if I did.”

It was more than stress, but he wasn’t about to explain that.

“It’s abuse,” Sally said in a blunt tone. “She did it to Addy too, and if she puts Natalie up as next in line, what if she starts doing it to her?”

If Natalie was forced to be the Crown Princess, Mum might grow hard on her too. Maybe she’d only held back because their chances of getting the throne before were pretty small. Her reasoning for a lot of stuff seemed to be control over Rainier, but she also had a certain image of how a ruler should be.

Natalie was more free-spirited, and if given the opportunity, she certainly did like to eat. Mum probably thought her niece was a slob even though she was skinny, and she likely didn’t understand that her niece only ate like that there because it was the first tasty meal she’d had in a while. She probably thought Natalie would end up overweight like Betty although Rainier couldn’t imagine that happening.

“When Felix came down to the kitchen that one night, he asked why no one did anything because you look sick,” said Bella. “He’s right. We should have said something to the physician or someone. We’ve all been scared that your Mum might fire one if they did anything.”

“There isn’t much you could do.” Rainier tried to think of what his options were.

“A lot of the guards are talking about quitting,” added Sally. “There was something about someone being paid off to hurt Felix?”

“She worked that out with Lance when he was my guard,” said Rainier.

“She’s gone to the dressmaker,” said Sally. “If you want to do something…the servants are getting the guards to agree with it.”

She clearly didn’t want to say the exact words, but it was clear they must have been expecting him to do something he’d never considered before today.

“So they’d support me?” asked Rainier. “It’s treason.”

“It’s not treason anymore for the winner.”

Felix looked at him. “It might be your only option. Where’s the crown? Is it in the Castle?”

“No, the High Mage keeps it locked away,” said Rainier. “We only bring it out for special times because it’s the original, and the copy is kept with it for the spouse to be crowned too.”

“Maybe we should have a gathering,” said Sally. “If you want to get your horse, maybe we could all have a little walk to the Temple. If you want to get ready…”

Rainier nodded. “Do it.”

It was almost lunch, but if Mum had gone to her dressmaker, she wouldn’t be in a hurry to go home. He assumed the dressmaker made her snacks, or perhaps she didn’t bother to eat. He’d never gone with her to see since he’d be bored out of his mind while they discussed what she wanted.

The two women left, and Rainier took a deep breath. “If the people side with me and I take control of the Castle and the guards, she’ll be powerless. Even if some side with her, it’ll be us against them, and ‘they’ might be outnumbered and likely unwilling to harm fellow fairies they’ve known for years. Having more support could sway the other side. We all live in the same city and are the same people.”

Felix nodded. “This is the last kind of stress you need, but she’s probably planning to do this in a couple of days. She’ll consider how to write the edict and everything she needs to do.”

“And plot to get rid of you, I bet,” said Rainier, and Felix’s face grew pinched. “It’s the wrong order of doing things, but do you want to be coronated today too?”

Felix’s mouth dropped slightly. “Huh?”

Rainier slowly stood. “Do you want to be coronated today too?”

“I’m not the Crown Prince or royalty. I’m moral support.”

“If you still want us to sit in rocking chairs together fifty years from now, there is a lot we could do in the meantime before we get old. I’m not going to keep you as just a lover, and we can get married later if you want me. I’d rather not do that in a rush, and treason isn’t a very romantic activity to do afterward.”

“You really want to marry me?”

“You’ve stuck with me this long, and while others are showing support now, you were the first to say anything and actually do something. I think you standing up to her outside probably helped too.”

Felix stood to hug him. “I’ll marry you, but you don’t have to coronate me. I’m just a commoner, and this whole thing isn’t about me. I didn’t come back or stay to get anything out of you either.”

Rainier squeezed him. “I know you didn’t. You came to take care of me when no one else did, and I’d like for us to take care of each other. You can be my Kitten and my husband. Besides, what King wouldn’t coronate his husband?”

***

Rainier didn’t feel like getting dressed and going out, but they couldn’t wait too long. Felix insisted he eat some toasted and buttered bread on the way back. He let Felix control the horse and sat behind him while he ate. He was tempted to drop the bread, but he forced in each bite since he would need energy for this.

Even though Felix had said yes, he couldn’t get the tension out of his gut. Becoming the King always seemed like a set deal in the future when Mum grew older and decided to hand over the throne so she could retire.

Treason had never crossed his mind, especially when it came to the woman who had given birth to him. He had the sudden thought that Father would be ashamed if he knew.

But he’d probably be ashamed of his wife for what she’d done to their children. Even though he’d defied her wishes and snuck his children sweets and snacks, he probably never imagined her cruel words, insults, and demands would lead to one child dead and the other sick.

This was the only way to keep what was rightfully his and ensure Felix was safe.

The horse was rather average, and with Rainier’s dark cloak, he was sure nobody recognized him. He hadn’t expected to see several citizens sitting in the grass outside of the gate to the Castle grounds. He recognized a couple of servants talking with them, and Felix paused the horse.

“That’s the two guards who quit,” he whispered. “Toward the edge.”

The two men were sitting with their wives, and one had a toddler in his lap. A couple of the citizens realized who was on the horse, and they shouted as Felix walked the horse toward the gate.

“Rainier! Rainier!”

“Use all of the spare horses for the servants,” Rainier told a guard at the gate after he’d pushed his hood back. “We’re going to the Temple.”

The guard nodded. Since Mum had gone to get new clothes made, she must not have had a single clue that the mood toward her had been slowly shifting. Felix wasn’t the only one who saw her behavior as abusive.

The servants had all gathered in the yard, and someone had already gotten Rainier’s horse prepared.

“What exactly are we doing?” asked one. “When Queen Eliza returns, what are we supposed to do?”

“Whoever cleans her rooms is to pack her things for her,” said Rainier. “She won’t be living here anymore.”