Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

He didn’t deserve Felix.

Rainier couldn’t give him a straight answer, and even with the physician right there because Felix had brought him, he didn’t know what to say after he’d been checked over. The physician tsked over his cold hands and said no one should have a bluish tint to their fingernails.

Rainier didn’t have symptoms that pointed to wasting disease of the stomach or any other serious illnesses in that area like food intolerances, so once the physician sat, he asked another question.

“Are you throwing up like Addy?”

“No.”

“You’re awfully thin.”

Lies. Rainier felt as big as a horse with the physician staring at him. “I don’t eat much. I don’t have stomach pains or anything wrong with me like that, so you can stop wondering.”

“Er, why don’t you eat? Do you feel stressed because that’s the only thing I can think of?”

Rainier shrugged. How was he supposed to explain everything?

“I think the fix is quite simple. You have to eat frequent meals. I’d say a small one every two or three hours is best so you have a steady stream of nutritious food. I’d add in things with fat like oils and nuts, and overtime, you’ll gain weight. I’ll give you herbs for appetite and something to calm you so you can eat again.”

Dear Elira, no. Rainier could barely face dinner lately. He didn’t even care that he’d tossed his plate down the privy, although he felt guilt for trying to fool Felix. Couldn’t he just go without food ever again?

“Prince Rainier?”

“What?”

“I can tell the kitchen to make you frequent meals,” said the physician. “If there’s something particular you’d like-”

“I won’t be here. I’m going somewhere with Felix.”

“I don’t think you should travel or do any kind of physical activity,” said the physician. “No sex, no riding, and no training. In fact, I think you need to stay in bed or remain sitting at least. Your pulse isn’t good, and your extremities are cold. Your hair is dull, and even though it’s not cold in here, you’ve got a blanket. You’re not in a condition to be doing anything, and if your appetite is poor, you should have said something a long time ago because that’s easier to remedy before it gets too bad. I can’t believe your Mother said nothing and let you get to this point.”

“I’m only going somewhere so I can rest and…it’s-I need a change of scenery. Felix is going to stay with me.”

The physician fiddled with a little booklet and his quill. “Fine. While you’re there, you need to eat frequent meals and rest to try to get your weight up. If there are no other underlying problems, the answer is food. If you stay like this, it’ll affect your heart and other organs. I’ve studied the effects of famine and starvation on people. The body can deal with a lot in some ways, but after a while, there’s a point where it can’t take anymore.”

Rainier hadn’t been able to take Mum in a while.

“Where are you going?” asked the physician.

Rainier told him, and the physician said he’d write out a list of things for Felix to feed him. He’d also bring herbs early tomorrow morning too.

When he left, Inky jumped up to knead the blanket, and Rainier tugged him closer. Felix shouldn’t have come and seen him like this. He didn’t need something else to worry about.

When Felix returned, he had a pack. “Before I left, I made some of the servants take some stuff over. They’ll air out the house and the sheets, sweep-that kind of thing. What did the physician say?”

“He’ll bring some herbs tomorrow, but I don’t want them.”

Felix bit his lip. “If he has something that can help, you need to take it.”

Rainier shifted Inky off of him and sat up. “Maybe we shouldn’t go.”

“I don’t think staying here is a good idea. You need some time away so you can relax. You don’t have to worry about office work or petitions.”

“I haven’t been doing that.”

Felix sat next to him and scooped up Inky. “You’ve truly only been up here?”

“I don’t want to see her, speak to her, or even look at her anymore.” Rainier wished he had a Mum like Felix. She probably didn’t pry in his personal life, and if she had any power, she probably wouldn’t set anybody on his friends or let them loose after the crime.

“You won’t have to see her for a bit, okay?”

For how long? Even though Rainier had been avoiding her, it couldn’t last forever, and the same shit would start again.

“Do you want to go to bed?”

“All right.”

He didn’t have to think about it now. When Felix got into bed with him, Rainier hugged him close as he tried to get warm under the cool sheets. Felix put an arm under him to stroke his back, and Inky curled up near his legs.

“I missed you,” said Felix. “I’m sorry I thought you didn’t bother to write.”

“It’s not your fault,” said Rainier. “With no letter, what were you supposed to think?”

Most Mums didn’t interfere so much in their children’s lives.

“Is your Mum really that mad at you?” asked Felix. “I mean…”

He probably couldn’t imagine his being like that, and Rainier patted him. “Don’t worry about it, Kitten.”

His sleep was shit for the most part, and he thought Felix would make it better, but he kept waking up. It was hard to get comfortable in bed. Laying on his side for too long made his hip ache. He tried to force himself to stay still so he didn’t wake Felix, but it was hard when he couldn’t seem to find a good position for long.

Felix seemed to sleep as far as he could tell. It was late when Rainier finally slipped into dreams that made no sense, and he awoke to Felix’s voice.

“Rainier, I already packed stuff for you.”

“You’ve been up?” He hadn’t heard a thing.

“Yeah, and we’ll take a carriage soon. A horse is going to follow since I’ll need to go to Rosewood to do some shopping. Come eat. The servant left trays for us.”

Rainier’s empty stomach twisted. “I’m not hungry right now.”

“I know you’re stressed, but I want you to try to eat something since you didn’t have anything to eat last night. Come sit.”

“You can go eat first. I want to take a bath.”

“I’d rather you at least have some toast.”

“I hate breakfast,” said Rainier. “You know this, Felix.”

“Will you at least eat something before we go?”

“I can eat later, but you know I don’t like breakfast in the morning.”

Felix’s face grew so pinched, guilt punched Rainier’s stomach, and he almost wanted to say they shouldn’t go to the house. This wasn’t fair on him, but Rainier didn’t want to stay alone here either.

“I’m going to have a bath. You can sit and eat.”

Rainier had been sitting in the tub for a good fifteen minutes and trying to let the warmth soak into him when Felix came into the privy room with an odd expression.

“Natalie said she’s kept Aunt Betty away, but she thinks you should see her. I said we’re leaving.”

“I don’t want to. I don’t have a problem with my Aunt, but I just don’t feel up to it,” said Rainier.

“That’s fine. Natalie said she’ll come by at some point later.”

Felix’s expression was still off, and Rainier squinted at him. “What?”

“Nothing.”

***

Rainier was leaving the rooms with Felix when Mum came storming down the hall.

“I found the servants taking your things out. Just where do you think you’re going? You pout for weeks-”

“I’m not doing this.” Rainier took Felix’s hand and pulled him around so they could head to the stairs.

Her eyes bored into Felix who was holding Inky with his spare arm. “Is that your whore? You’re leaving to go be with him?”

Rainier ignored her.

“Why are you wearing your cloak inside? You’ve gained weight, haven’t you? I can tell you’re fatter, and I bet you’ve been stuffing your face the whole time in your rooms.”

The words hit like knives. He was wearing his cloak with the hood up because he couldn’t seem to get warm enough.

Felix’s hand tightened as he glanced at the Queen. “What the fuck?”

“What did you say to me?!”

“Come on.” Rainier pulled on Felix’s arm while his face burned. “Ignore her.”

“Rainier, you’re not leaving unless I say,” said Mum. “This is ridiculous.”

Rainier kept Felix by him as they went down the stairs, and the effort quickly wore him out while he tried to block out the earlier words. They kept ringing in his head even when they were outside. A carriage waited, and a spare horse on a lead huffed.

He didn’t want to come back here to live with the same shit day after day, but he wouldn’t have Felix for that long either. He stopped as his mind scrambled for some way out of everything.

“Come on,” said Felix. “She can’t stop you.”

Mum already had stopped him from having a lot.