34. Crossroads Jax

I couldn’t call Annie ; she would’ve told me I was wrong to wait until now, and she was right. Couldn’t call Jax, he was driving, and being pathetic wouldn’t help my case. So I called the only other soul who wouldn’t need an explanation and would almost surely not make me feel any worse.

“Sweetheart?” Mom answered, groggy, but concerned. “It’s so late.”

“Mom, I fucked up.” I sobbed, collapsed on my living room floor after a full half hour of crying so hard I couldn’t breathe. “I went out with Jax, and I told him the truth. Now he hates me for lying to him.”

“Oh, Tabby.” She sighed and clicked her tongue a few times. “Where is he now?”

“He left in a huff. I’m thinking about going after him.”

“This late? Please don’t, not when it’s so dark. You didn’t drive tonight, did you?”

“No, he drove. I was worried about him when he left, but Jax is careful.” I sniffed and rubbed my temples, putting Mom on speakerphone. “I can’t believe I let it go this far without saying anything. It got out of hand so fast.”

Mom hummed in an understanding way, but she couldn’t offer me much comfort. We’d already argued about it more than once.

“Well, on the bright side,” I said, trying to think like Jax and bringing something light to the subject, “I can get you his dad’s number if you want it.”

She snickered. “I don’t think that will be necessary.”

“Oh, Mom. What the hell am I going to do?”

“Well, put yourself in his shoes.” She groaned as if sitting up in bed. It was well past her usual late-night movie marathon. “If somebody upset you, what would you want them to do to make it up to you?”

I closed my eyes and thought of all the times I wanted Rob to make up for something, and he never did. What was I hoping for? “I guess...I would want them to own it.”

“Right. You’re always looking for the good in all people. Doesn’t Jax do the same?”

“Yeah. Yeah, he does. He gives everybody the benefit of the doubt.” Talking to Mom helped calm me down so I could think more clearly. “First thing in the morning, I’m going over there. He just needs to sleep it off. Jax doesn’t hold grudges. That’s not how he operates.”

“I suggest you get some good sleep too, so you’re fresh to talk to him like an adult. Promise me you’ll wait until the sun’s up, and you’ll drive safe.”

“Of course, Mom.”

“Goodnight, son.”

“Night.” Click.

––––––––

M y alarm went off at 6 a.m. It was still quite dark outside, but I couldn’t wait to get ready to see him. I jumped in the shower and scrubbed the night off me the best that I could, and dressed in the book-print shirt I was wearing the first night he came here. We’d be at nearly the same place, and I could introduce myself again.

A clean slate. I just needed him to listen for five minutes.

Hope made my drive over lighter than ever. I hit every green light, even the pesky ones through the construction zone. Sunday made for a light-traffic day through the city. As if my mission was blessed by a guardian angel, I made it to him easily and found his car in the garage. When I got out of mine, I stroked his hood. Thanks for making it home safe, Wah.

Somehow, I had a feeling he would wake and be grateful to see me, even welcome me with open arms in spite of how we left everything. My gut said he needed me. I came to answer the call, hell or high water, across space and time. Whatever my soulmate needed, I would provide.

My hands and feet practically buzzed when I knocked on Jax and Ethan’s door. It was too early for the store to be open, so either one of them could have answered. I stood with my hands meekly behind my back and regretted not picking up something else to offer besides myself.

To my chagrin, Ethan swung the door wide. “Oh. Hey, Tabby.”

“Hi. I’m here to see Jax. Can I come in?”

Ethan blocked my way. “No. Sorry, he’s not in.”

My heart sank. “Look, Ethan. I know you’re still pissed about me and Rob—”

“No, that’s not—”

“But you don’t understand what’s going on between me and Jax, so you don’t get a right to play goalie here. Let me in.” I charged forward.

He slapped a hand on the opposite side of the door jamb, barring me completely. “Okay, number one, I’m not playing goalie. In fact, if I was, I wouldn’t let you in anyway, because leading Jax on for six months was a real shitty thing to do.”

Oh, no. I swallowed hard, wishing I didn’t have to defend myself to someone else. “Did...did Jax tell you that?”

“Not exactly. But he told me he knew you a long time ago, and you didn’t come clean. You were his, how did he put it? Oh, yeah. ‘The one that got away’,” he said in flippant air quotes. “Let me tell ‘ya, if it were me, I’d be just as pissed as he was last night.”

“Ethan, I’m trying to make up for it. Neither of you can imagine how terrifying it—”

“Number two, he really isn’t fucking here, so bug off. I’ve got a girl in my room.”

“That’s bullshit. His car’s here.”

“He must’ve taken a cab to the airport then.”

“The airport?” I scoffed. “Why the hell would he go to the airport?”

Ethan shrugged. “I don’t know. Got a call and was really shaken up. Said he was going home to his dad. Headed to some hospital.”

Colorado? “Did he say which one?”

“Yeah, but I don’t know—”

I pushed Ethan inside and slammed him against the wall behind him. “Rack your brain, dammit. Which hospital?”

“Fine. Started with a P. Meg, do you remember that hospital Jax said last night?” he yelled, holding his hands up. I was a shrimp compared to him, but Ethan knew I was serious.

“Yeah, uh, Porter, I think?” Megan called from the back bedroom.

“There ya have it. Are we done now?” he asked, beyond annoyed.

“Yeah. Porter? Shit. Shit. ” I ran down the stairs, hailing a cab like Jax did. Good idea in a panic.

Even if I was too late, Jax needed me. I’m keeping my promise, Wah. I won’t let you down.