CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Antoni spent the morning listening to an audiobook as he vacuumed, mopped, and scrubbed the rental house. He patched a few holes and when he decided he'd done enough to get their security deposit back, he drove to the leasing office to turn in his keys.

He felt good as he returned to Matty's house, like he was leaving a stressful chapter of his life behind.

When he pulled into the garage, Matty was already back from practice.

This morning, Antoni's parents had walked over from their house and watched the kids while he was cleaning and Matty was at practice, so he assumed they were still there too.

It was so nice to know that they didn't have to go out of their way so much anymore. It would be less driving for them. Less stress and hassle for everyone, really.

They were all eating lunch when Antoni walked into the house, seated at the long dining room table Antoni suspected was rarely used.

They all looked up and smiled.

"All done?" his mom asked.

"Yep, keys turned in!" he said. "And I don't think we'll have any trouble getting the deposit back."

"Oh good! There's food on the island if you'd like it," she said.

"Thanks, I'm starving." Antoni walked over and loaded his plate with salad and fruit then debated what he wanted on his sandwich. "How was everyone's morning?"

"So good!" Alexis said. "I tried out the synthetic ice with Uncle Enzo."

Antoni shot his dad an amused smile. He just gave Antoni a sheepish grin back.

"That sounds fun," Antoni said, then paused. "Wait, I thought your skates were too small. I was going to pick some up for you today when we went back-to-school shopping."

"Umm," Matty said, looking guilty.

Antoni shook his head and kept piling turkey onto whole wheat bread. "You bought skates for the kids?"

"Uhh, well I had a few pairs available for Macky's kids or any other kids who come over. That's what Alexis used today. But I miiight have also talked to someone at the head office about gear from our sponsors."

"Oh, you didn't have to—"

"No, listen, the team does this all the time. We have a skating program for kids who are—who maybe don't have access to gear or lessons otherwise. I might have pulled a tiny little string to get Alexis and Eli into the program—if they want to and if you're okay with that—and if they join, they'll get full gear. All of the kids in the program do."

Antoni blinked, frozen with a jar of mustard in his hand. "Oh, well—"

"Please, Uncle Antoni," Alexis begged. "I wanna play hockey so bad."

He looked into her earnest eyes and the last of his resistance crumpled. "We'll have to figure out if we can make the times work," he said slowly. "And you can't let your schoolwork slide. But as long as we can figure out both of those things … yeah, you can do it."

"Oh my God, thank you. Thank you, Matty. Oh my God, I still can't believe it! I'm so freaking excited!"

Matty beamed. "Good!"

"What about you, Eli?" Antoni asked. "Do you want to learn to play hockey?"

"Umm, I dunno," Eli said. "Can I? I mean, I'm not … do they allow kids like me?"

"They fu-reaking better," Matty said. "Or I'm gonna make them."

Eli smiled and Antoni did too. Because he definitely believed that. And while he might be a little uncomfortable with Matty throwing his weight around, that was one situation where he'd never argue about it.

Eli needed people to fight for them. For all of the kids like them.

"Well, why don't we look into that?" Antoni offered as he carried his food to the table and took a seat next to Alexis. "And you can take some time to decide, Eli."

"Skate! Me skate too!" River said.

Matty grinned and lifted her onto his knee. "You wanna skate too, huh?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, you're too little for this program," Matty said. "But don't be sad! Because I can teach you to skate. And I bet my teammates and some of the SAPs would too."

Antoni's parents had been watching them curiously and his mom tilted her head. "The SAPs?"

"Yeah. WAGs was kinda outdated so that's what we call the spouses and partners on the team now."

She smiled. "Oh, cute."

Matty turned back to River. "You can play hockey someday if you want to or if you wanna figure skate you can do that too. Honestly, it's good to learn both. That's what our captain does and he's one of the best skaters in the league."

"Yay! Skate, skate!"

Antoni smiled. "Well, someone's excited."

"It wouldn't take much to be more excited than you were, son. We tried to teach you when you were a kid and you wanted nothing to do with it," Enzo teased.

Antoni laughed. "Well, it was freezing cold and I kept falling on my butt. How is that supposed to be fun?"

"And there were no books," his mom teased. "All you wanted was books!"

"I'm sorry," Antoni said with a laugh, "but curling up by the fire with a book and hot chocolate just sounded way better to me."

Matty chuckled. "Weirdo."

"Yeah, that's me," Antoni agreed.

They spent the rest of lunch playfully joking around and Antoni was in a great mood as he helped his mom clean the kitchen.

The kids were napping or doing something quiet in their rooms, and Matty and Antoni's dad were in the basement talking about the synthetic ice.

"Well," his mom said with a smile as she wiped off the counter. "It looks like you're all settled in here."

"Yeah, it went pretty fast with the help from the team."

"It's nice to see you this relaxed and happy."

"It feels nice," Antoni admitted. "I actually got to sleep in this morning. Matty made breakfast—"

"Oh, I heard," she said drily. "The kids wouldn't stop raving about his pancakes."

"He's … been really good to us already."

"The kids' rooms are beautiful. What a nice gesture."

"Wasn't it? My room too, it's … God, he's spoiling us."

"Are you sure you're not dating?" his mom asked under her breath. "Because it kinda seems like you are."

"We're not," Antoni protested. "Matty's just … a very generous human."

"Well that much is obvious," she teased. "And for what it's worth, I think he'd be a lovely man to date."

"He probably would be," Antoni agreed. "But this is just … we're friends."

"Mmhmm," his mom said with a knowing look. "Of course it is."

"Look, I'm not saying I wouldn't want to date him. And uh, it turns out you were right. He is bi."

Her knowing look deepened.

"But I can't … even if he was interested in dating me, I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize things for the kids!" Antoni protested.

"Oh, I know that. I'm just saying …"

"I know what you're saying and what you're not saying," he shot back. "But I—I have to be careful here. I don't want things to get complicated."

She softened. "I know that, sweetheart. And that's smart. I just hope someday you find someone like him is all. Someone who is that sweet and kind-hearted and caring."

Antoni's throat felt thick. "Me too."

"He's what Keith should have been," she said and Antoni nodded.

Because yeah, if Antoni and Matty had been dating when Antoni had suddenly inherited four children, Matty would have thrown himself into it with his whole heart.

But maybe that wasn't fair to Keith. He'd wanted kids but not yet and even though early on in their dating relationship, Antoni had offhandedly mentioned that he was named guardian in his friends' will and that theoretically this could happen, neither of them had expected it.

No one had.

"I still think it's best Keith ducked out before the kids got attached," Antoni said firmly. "And that's what scares me about Matty. I … they adore him already."

"Who wouldn't?"

"But what if he gets bored of us? What if he meets someone else?"

"Are we talking about the kids or you?"

"I don't know," Antoni admitted, his voice cracking. "But I do know I don't want to put the kids through that."

"For what it's worth, I think if that does happen, he'd do his best to stay in their lives."

"He could get traded," Antoni pointed out.

"Look at you throwing out sports lingo already." Her eyes danced with amusement. "We'll make a hockey fan of you yet."

"Shut up," Antoni said, laughing. "Don't call me out like that, Mom."

She pursed her lips but she was laughing too. "I'm just saying …"

"I know. But like … shit happens," Antoni pointed out. "We discovered that the hard way with Bethany and Corey."

She sobered. "We did. And yes, sometimes things happen that we have no control over. I understand why you're wary."

"It's been a little over three weeks since we met and"—Antoni checked the time on the microwave—"less than 24 hours since we officially moved in and already I …"

Already he wanted to throw himself at Matty and show him exactly how appreciative he was for all that he'd done. And hell, sweet gestures aside, Antoni was incredibly attracted to Matty.

His looks and his personality.

"I don't know," Antoni finished with a sigh. "I feel happy to be here, happy to be around Matty. It's just a little scary trusting that it's not all going to disappear."

"I get that. And taking it slow is never a bad thing. It's smart that you're worried about the complications and how it could impact the kids."

"I just don't want to fuck this up," he admitted.

"That's what being a parent is. Sometimes, you're just gonna fuck things up. But you love those kids and you're doing as much as anyone can to learn from your mistakes. And that's all that really matters."

"Thanks, Mom," Antoni said thickly. "I appreciate the pep talk."

"Any time. But now, I believe you have back-to-school shopping to do?"

"Ahh, yeah. We need to get going as soon as the kids wake up from their nap."

"Your dad and I already said goodbye to the kids so we'll get out of your hair now. If I can pry your father away from Matty, that is."

Antoni chuckled. "How embarrassing was he?"

"Oh, horrific. I've never heard him babble that much, even on our first date. But I do love him so I suppose I'll eventually let him live this down. In another thirty years or so."

Antoni grinned. His parents had met in college. Apparently, his father had taken one look at this mother as they passed in front of the library between classes and vowed that he'd marry her.

Thirty odd years later, they were still going strong.

It was the sort of love he'd always hoped to find.

With some effort, they finally got Enzo pried away from Matty and Antoni said goodbye to his parents.

The kids were just starting to wake up from their naps so, together, he and Matty got them wrangled.

River was sleepy as Antoni helped her into her car seat in the SUV and he crossed his fingers that she wouldn't fall asleep on the drive to the store.

"You can drive," Antoni said, nodding at Matty who had just strapped Reese into his car seat. "I need to review my lists."

"Okay." Matty smiled. "Everyone buckled up?"

"I am!" Eli said and Alexis gave them a distracted wave, face already buried in her tablet.

Antoni let Matty know which store to go to first, then pulled up a list on his phone to be sure he hadn't forgotten anything.

He'd gotten lists from Alexis and Eli's teachers and the people at River's preschool.

She wasn't ready for kindergarten yet but she'd gone to preschool half a day last year and this year it would be a full day.

They'd been working with her on her language and other developmental skills since last spring and it would give her more of a chance to socialize with other kids.

This past summer, Antoni had taken some of the online and in person workshops the program offered on parenting and they'd really helped. Hopefully, the full day there would be even more beneficial.

When they arrived at the store, Antoni got out of the vehicle and stopped Matty before he could get the kids out.

"I am going to pay today," he said quietly. "I know you're going to want to help but I can manage it."

Matty's expression turned serious. "You're not just saying that?"

"No. With what I'm saving in rent and utilities, I can afford it. And it's important to me that I do this."

"Okay," Matty said with a nod. "I promise, I'll be good."

"Thanks." Antoni smiled. "That means a lot to me."

Matty reached out and touched his hip. "Hey, what do you think about going to the park after?" he asked quietly. "It might encourage the kids to move a little faster while we're shopping."

"Hmm. I suppose we'd have time. We don't have to worry about groceries since you picked some up on the way home from practice …"

Matty grinned. "I needed stuff for the meals I'm going to teach you how to make this week."

"Mmhmm," Antoni said skeptically. The refrigerator had been bursting with food, including stuff for kids' lunches, stuff the kids begged for that he hadn't been able to afford, but he couldn't be mad about it, not when Matty looked so pleased with himself.

As long as he reined himself in today like he'd promised, Antoni wouldn't argue.

"So, the park," Matty said eagerly. "Yes?"

Antoni grinned. "Well, there are worse bribes. You sure you don't mind?"

"Dude, I've been trying to get you to let me take them to the park for weeks." Matty squeezed his hip.

Antoni laughed, tingles spreading through his body at the casual touch. "True. Yeah, okay, that sounds good."

"Okay," Matty said, opening the door and smiling at the kids. "Here's the plan, peeps. If we get through shopping quick enough, we're gonna go to the park after. But that means you need to stay focused."

Antoni hid a smile as he walked around the car. Matty was going to be an amazing father someday.

That thought just continued to grow as they picked out new clothes and shoes and folders and pencil cases.

Antoni had been dreading back-to-school shopping for weeks, and not just because of the money he'd have to spend. He'd helped Bethany with it last year when Corey was out of town for a conference so he'd known exactly what he was in for.

Although the selection was fairly well picked over by now, the shopping was easier with someone else there to help the kids focus. And Matty's gentle reminders to the kids that the sooner they were done, the faster they could get to the park, was brilliant.

By the time they were done shopping, Antoni was tired but not nearly as exhausted as he'd expected.

When everyone was loaded up in the SUV, Matty turned to face the back. "So what'll it be? Park or no park?"

"Park!" River said, clapping her hands.

"Full sentences please," Antoni reminded her.

"I want … to go … to … the park," she said.

"Great job." Matty reached back to give her a fist bump.

"How about the rest of you?" Antoni asked. "Are you up for it?"

Eli said yes and even Alexis nodded.

"Cool. How about we grab some takeout on the way there and have a picnic dinner?" Matty glanced at Antoni. "I dunno about these guys but I'm getting hungry."

Antoni laughed. The best he could tell, hockey players were just like toddlers. They needed afternoon naps and to be fed every 3-4 hours.

"Sounds perfect."