CHAPTER ELEVEN

Antoni shook his head in disbelief as he took in his new bedroom. The space was huge. The room, the bed, the adjoining bathroom, and the walk-in closet … all of them were enormous.

So much more space than he needed.

But he couldn't deny that it was beautiful. Everything was peaceful and serene with soft white walls and neutral shades. The room overlooked the big backyard and there was a tree out there that would probably be gorgeous once the leaves changed later in the fall.

The bed was enormous and soft-looking, with pillows and blankets that he was tempted to just roll around in because he knew they'd feel nice against his skin.

He loved the sitting area where someone had stacked the boxes marked "Antoni-teaching stuff". His laptop bag waited on the chair and the desk had notepads and pens and a light to work by already set out.

It was more than Antoni needed but God, a little part of him was already anticipating how good it would feel to retreat here at night.

He yawned, exhausted from the long day.

But he couldn't go to bed quite yet. Eli and Alexis had a later bedtime than their younger siblings and he wanted to be sure they were all set for the night.

But Antoni could shower.

He shook his head in amazement again as he flipped on the light in the enormous bathroom. Two sinks with a wide vanity and tons of storage. This was a bathroom designed for a couple, not for a single man.

It made sense that Matty felt lonely here, especially when he'd once shared this space with his ex.

Frowning, Antoni flipped on the water in the shower to let it heat, then stripped off his clothes.

He'd seen some pictures of Matty's ex.

Courtney something or other. She was pretty. Platinum blonde and a bit younger than Matty. Which, maybe it was a stereotype, but that was exactly the kind of person Antoni would expect an NHL player to marry.

But clearly the marriage hadn't lasted and some of the guys on the team had more similar tastes to Antoni.

Mostly, having male partners.

None of those guys were really Antoni's type but it was good to know that everyone was so comfortable with the whole thing. And they'd all been so sweet to the kids today.

They'd been so careful to get Eli's pronouns right.

Steam rolled out of the shower so Antoni stepped into it, letting out a sigh when the hot water hit his shoulders.

God, the water pressure was incredible.

Never mind the fact that there was enough room to have half of Matty's team in here with him.

Which … Antoni considered that idea. He didn't hate the thought. They were all very good-looking.

It seemed like most of them were in relationships—though he hadn't heard anything about Dominic.

And yet, Matty was the one Antoni's thoughts kept returning to.

Those soft brown eyes and those big arms and … and yeah, that ass.

Antoni groaned, tipping his head back. "Fuck," he muttered, scrubbing his face with his palms.

Because he really shouldn't be thinking about Matty this way.

It was, God, rude or something. The man had opened his home. Given Antoni his bedroom!

And, no, Antoni was not going to think about the fact that at some point recently Matty had been naked in this shower.

Smooth chest or hairy?Antoni wondered. Hairy, he hoped.

Not that it mattered! He was never going to find out unless they all went swimming or something. And even then, all he'd be able to do was look.

Antoni sighed. Matty had given them a little space tonight but he could already see that this wasn't just going to be some polite but distant sharing of space.

Matty was probably going to be in the house playing with the kids and cooking and watching TV and helping as much as Antoni would let him. Because that was just who Matty was. He seemed to thrive on having people around, having this big, loving community.

None of which was going to make Antoni's crush any easier. Because damn had it been a long time since he'd felt so drawn to someone.

And an equally long time since he'd had sex. A painfully long time.

Now that his brain wasn't in panic mode about where they were going to live and how he was going to pay the bills … his sex drive was coming back with a vengeance.

Antoni felt safe here, like he wasn't walking the narrowest tightrope, juggling his career and parenting and grief and finances all at once, hoping that he wouldn't make a misstep that would send him—or worse, the kids—tumbling into disaster.

He could think clearly again. And his body had urges that his brain was finally catching up on. Maybe tonight he'd dig one of his toys out—he'd packed that bag himself, thank you very much—and get off before he went to sleep. It had been so long since he'd had the privacy to do that.

He got out of the shower, toweled dry, then slipped on a pair of shorts.

He double-checked the video monitor on the nightstand, glad to see Reese snoozing in his crib and River sleeping deeply in her room, the light softly glowing around her.

When Antoni contemplated how to spend the evening, he felt sort of adrift. Like he didn't know what to do with himself.

And yeah, maybe he should do some more prep for the upcoming school year—there was no shortage of that he still needed to take care of—but it wasn't urgent and he didn't think that was quite where the feeling was coming from either.

Maybe it was just that it had been so long since he'd relaxed, it felt unfamiliar now. He was too restless to read and couldn't even remember what else he used to do.

With a shrug, Antoni grabbed the monitor and left the bedroom.

He checked in with the older kids. "You look all cozy in here," he said, smiling at Eli from the doorway.

They were tucked under the covers with the overhead light out, reading by the glow of a thoughtfully placed lamp attached to the bed canopy.

Eli glanced up from their book. "I am. This room is great. I'm never going to leave."

Antoni laughed. "I think you better come out to shower and eat sometimes and, on Monday, you're gonna have to start school."

"Aww, man," Eli said, but they were grinning. "I guess I can do that."

"Glad to hear it." Antoni glanced at the clock on the dresser. "Lights out in thirty, okay?"

"Okay."

"Want a hug?" Antoni asked.

"Sure." Eli set their book aside.

Antoni walked over and crouched down to give them a hug. "G'night."

"Night." Eli smiled. "I like it here. I'm glad we didn't find somewhere else to stay."

"Good. I'm really glad you like it." Antoni smoothed an affectionate hand across Eli's hair. "Sweet dreams."

"You too."

With a smile, Antoni closed their door behind him, then knocked on Alexis'. "Yeah?" she called out.

"Can I come in for a sec?"

"Sure."

"You getting ready for bed?" he asked, poking his head through the door.

She looked up guiltily. "Uhh, not yet. Getting photos hung."

There were pictures of Corey, Bethany, and the kids spread out all over the desk and a few already displayed on the board above.

"Well, thirty minutes max for that," he said. "I know it's important but you can do some more tomorrow too, okay?"

She sighed. "Yeah, okay."

"Then get ready for bed. Lights out in an hour."

She made a face. That was the annoyed, ‘I don't wanna but I know I'm not going to win this argument' face. He was pretty good at reading them now.

"I know but school is starting Monday," he reminded her. "I want you on a semi-normal sleep schedule for that."

"Okay, okay." She made another annoyed face but nodded. "G'night."

He took that as a hint and wished her a good night before he closed the door behind him.

He should probably go to bed too but he wasn't really sleepy anymore.

Restless, he wandered the house, poking his head into random rooms in the hope that Matty was around somewhere. Nope, he must be in the guest house.

It felt too intrusive to cross the yard and knock on his door or text him to see if he wanted to hang out.

Curious to see more of the finished basement, Antoni jogged down the carpeted stairs and blinked at the sight of Matty hanging out in the home theater area, drinking a beer and watching TV.

In addition to the skating pad, there was a fully fitted home gym and a roomy bathroom with a steam shower that he'd been in awe of when he'd toured the house with his Aunt Sharon.

There was also a bar near the home theater space and Antoni skirted around it, intending to say hi to Matty. Matty must not have heard him come down though because he jerked in surprise.

"Shit, didn't realize you were there." Matty pressed a hand to his chest.

"Sorry."

"No, you're good." Matty patted the roomy couch. "Want to watch TV with me? There's beer in the fridge under the bar you can help yourself too as well."

"Cool, you don't mind?" Antoni set the baby monitor on an end table.

Matty shook his head. "Nope. Honestly, I'd love the company."

Antoni poked around in the refrigerator, picked a beer he liked—nice microbrew stuff that he hadn't been able to afford in months—and took a seat on the other end of the couch from Matty. "Thanks for the invite. I, uh, wasn't sure if you wanted space from us or …"

"Nah, I thought about coming over for dinner but I didn't want to intrude."

Antoni gave him a helpless little smile.

So they'd both wanted to hang out but had been trying to be polite and not be annoying. God, this awkward tiptoeing around each other was going to get old fast.

"You can come over whenever you want," Antoni said earnestly. "If you want the space, of course I don't want you to feel obligated but I get the feeling that wanting space isn't really your thing."

Matty shot him a lopsided smile. "Nope. I like being around people."

"Well, we like having you around."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, and not just because you're a much better cook than I am. That pizza … I'm still thinking about it."

Matty laughed. "What did you make for dinner tonight?"

"Grilled cheese and tomato soup," Antoni admitted with a sigh.

Matty's look was amused. "Maybe we could cook dinners together? At least before the season starts. I could teach you a few new dishes."

"I'd love that. And the kids would too. I am sure they're sick of my pathetic offerings. I don't want to impose though."

"You wouldn't be. Honestly, it would be so much better than cooking for myself and eating alone."

Antoni nodded. "Yeah, then if you're up for it, that would be great."

"Let's start tomorrow."

"Sounds good."

Matty glanced over. "I see you found the shower in your room."

"Oh, yeah," Antoni said, glancing down and feeling awkward when he realized he was only wearing shorts. "I, uh, I guess should probably put on a shirt or something, huh?"

Matty shrugged. "Well, you don't have to on my account. I spend half my life surrounded by naked men."

Antoni nearly choked on his mouthful of beer. "Wow. Well, if I'd known that when I was a teenager, I might have actually gotten into hockey."

Matty laughed. "I'm just saying, I don't even notice anymore."

Right. Antoni stifled a sigh. Ahh well, that was a good reminded that Matty was straight, whatever the gossip pages said.

Antoni shouldn't get any ideas.

"Yeah, well, I used to sleep in briefs but the kids sometimes crawl in with me, especially River, so I switched to pajamas."

"Man, I bet a lot of your life has changed in the past few months," Matty said. He took a slow pull on his beer.

"Yeah, it has," Antoni agreed. "Not all of it's bad. I mean, I always wanted kids. I wouldn't have necessarily had four and especially not all at once this way but …"

"But you love them."

"I do. It's just been hard. Trying to be enough for them. I'm just one guy. I'm having to be mom and dad for them but I'm not their parent at all and … it's just a lot."

"Hey, you're doing a good job," Matty said, scooting closer. "You know that, right?"

He settled a hand on Antoni's back. His palm was huge and warm and all Antoni wanted to do was sink into the feeling. Slide closer to Matty and put his head on his broad shoulder and feel wrapped up and safe.

"I hope so," Antoni muttered, shifting a little so he could look at Matty.

His hand fell away and he draped his arm over the back of the couch.

They fell silent for a minute and Antoni took a long sip of his beer, suddenly feeling awkward.

"So what about you?" Antoni asked. "You said kids were something you wanted but that it didn't work out. I don't want to be nosy but …"

Matty grimaced. "Yeah, I'll tell you more sometime but not tonight."

"That's fair," Antoni said. "No pressure if you don't want to talk about it at all."

"Nah. It's fine. Just not tonight. I had a good day," Matty said with a smile. "I don't want to lose that feeling."

"I get that," Antoni said. "Really though? Moving me and the kids into your home was a good day?"

"Sure." Matty took a sip of his beer. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"I don't know."

"I meant it. I like having people here. I like making people happy. And having your kids around? It's a total bonus on top of all the rest. Love them already. It really feels good to know I made all your lives a little easier."

"More than a little," Antoni admitted. "A lot. You've turned my whole life around."

"Even better." Matty smiled and Antoni's heart fluttered in response.

Matty swallowed hard, mouth going dry.

Antoni looked good without a shirt on. He had a lean, strong build with nice shoulders, flat abs, and a narrow waist.

"Hey, do you work out?" Matty asked, aiming for casual and probably missing it by a mile.

Antoni shrugged. "Not as much as I used to. I'm lucky if I get in a short bodyweight workout or a quick jog a couple of times a week."

"Well, you can use all of the equipment down here whenever you want. And let me know if you ever need a spotter when you're weightlifting."

"Yeah, that would be great. Thanks."

They both fell silent. Antoni seemed content to sip his beer and watch the TV in silence but when he shivered, Matty shrugged out of his hoodie. "Here, put this on."

"Oh, I can get a shirt—"

"Nah, this is right here. And it's already pre-warmed." Matty grinned.

"You don't need it?"

"Nope. Just threw it on, expecting it to be colder out when I walked across the yard. I was getting too warm, actually." Although, the house was air-conditioned, the basement cooler than the main floor. But if Matty got too cold later, he could always grab a blanket.

"Still muggy out?" Antoni shrugged on the hoodie.

Matty felt a little twinge, deep in his core, liking the way Antoni looked all soft and comfortable in it. He looked good in the Fisher Cats gear. Even if it was way too big on him.

"Matty?"

"Huh?"

"I asked if it was still muggy out."

"Oh, yeah. Sounds like it's supposed to stay warm into next week, then cool off."

"Nice. I'm looking forward to fall weather. I'll have to take the kids to the park soon though. Let them enjoy the last of the summer."

"Can I come?" Matty asked hopefully.

Antoni laughed and Matty noticed what a nice laugh it was. Warm and soft and low. It made something curl in Matty's belly. "Sure, I guess we never did get around to that."

"It would be a lot of fun," Matty admitted.

"Sure, you can come, big guy," Antoni said with a smile. "Whatever makes you happy."

You might.Matty let out a shaky breath as it hit him what he'd thought. What he kept feeling.

He was … he was feeling things for Antoni. More than friendship.

It always started with friendship for Matty though. He liked to get to know someone, learn who they were. And he'd had tons of friendships that had never gone beyond that.

But the people he was attracted to … yeah, he needed that connection first.

For most of Matty's life, he'd felt like he was missing something everyone else had. Like something in him was broken or off. But a few years ago, after Zane Murphy came out, there had been a big article about his relationship with his winger, Ryan Hartinger.

Matty had been super happy for them and a little bit envious but it was the part where Zane had talked about being demisexual that had hit hard for Matty. Made him realize he wasn't alone. That maybe he wasn't exactly like everyone else but that didn't mean there was anything wrong with him.

It had given him hope that he could find his person, the way Murphy had found his Hartinger.

So Matty got it now, got why he was so slow to be turned on by someone, why he needed that connection and friendship first before he felt any spark of attraction.

Those lines were beginning to blur with Antoni now.

It had confused Matty at first because this seemed so fast.

It usually took months for him to get to that level, where he felt his belly go tight and his skin tingle when he touched someone. Where it went from happiness to see them to wanting to be with them.

Matty was a hugger and a cuddler with everyone. He liked to snuggle up on a hotel room bed, shoulder-to-shoulder with a teammate while they watched movies. He liked long, lingering hugs with friends and teammates.

Baby snuggles were his favorite.

But it was rare that Matty looked at anyone—man or woman—and thought, I want to hold you close. I want to touch you and kiss you and …

But he could feel that need growing in him every time he was around Antoni.

It seemed too soon. So much sooner than it had ever been with anyone before.

But the more Matty thought about it, the more sense it made.

How could he not feel a connection to Antoni?

Sure, they hadn't known each other long but it had been intense.

They hadn't started out with small talk about movies and video games and hockey; they'd started out talking about Antoni's fears and worries about losing custody of the kids. And Matty had shared some of his own feelings.

Antoni had listened and been sympathetic and kind. Like someone Matty could be really honest with.

So different from Courtney—who'd made him feel stupid and like less of a man for talking about his feelings.

Matty probably wasn't a very deep guy. He'd heard that enough times in his life, but that didn't mean he didn't want that with someone.

He saw the way Macky and Elena were together. The deep love Dustin and Charlie had. He knew what his parents were like and his sisters and their husbands.

At first, he'd talked himself into believing Courtney was someone she wasn't. Someone he was genuinely in love with and attracted to.

He'd ignored the wrong, wrong, wrong feeling in his head and tried to push through it. Tried to be the typical guy who wanted to fuck the pretty girl and marry her and have kids with her, even though she wasn't nice. Or kind. She didn't understand him. She didn't accept him.

It hadn't taken long after their marriage to see she was nothing like what he'd hoped.

And their sex life had suffered for it.

She didn't make him feel the things he thought he could feel for Antoni.

And no, that didn't mean he wanted to throw Antoni down on the couch and fuck him right this second, but yeah, a kiss … Matty was starting to wonder what Antoni's lips would feel like against his.

"So, do you watch this show a lot?" Antoni asked. "It's been so long since I've seen much TV. First it was being in school, then it was work, and then it was the kids …"

"Oh." Matty glanced back at the screen, his ears a little warm when he realized the only thing he'd been watching was Antoni. Taking in the slope of his nose and the fullness of his lower lip. "Um, I watch a lot of these silly baking competitions, yeah. Probably not really your thing though, huh?"

"They're not necessarily what I'd pick but I don't mind watching. They're usually kinda funny and it's cool to see the stuff they make."

"Nah, let's do something we'll both enjoy. Let me see, what do we have …" Matty grabbed the remote and browsed through some of the offerings.

"Hey, wait, is that Preston Graves?" Antoni said.

"Yep," Matty said, clicking back up to the image of him. "How do you know him? I thought you didn't watch much TV."

"I don't but he's one of the biggest gay icons in Hollywood right now. Of course I recognize him."

Matty grinned. "Fair enough. Well, he's been on this show for a few years. Northdale Heights. Ever watched it?"

"No, but I've heard about it," Antoni said, glancing over. "It was like this sort of indie sleeper show that got really big after it came out, right?"

"Yeah. I didn't think it would really be my thing but it's kind of interesting," Matty admitted.

"What's it about?"

"Well, it's like a bunch of friends who live in the same apartment building and it's all about their love lives and the drama around that."

Antoni took another sip of his beer. "A bunch of the characters in it are queer, right?"

"Yeah," Matty said. "It's super popular. I think most people got into it because they were curious about the kink thing but then they stuck around because it's just a really good show."

Antoni blinked. "Wait, it's about kink?"

"I mean, some of it is," Matty said with a shrug. "It's just a mix of people into a bunch of different things in their dating lives. That's just a part of it."

"Huh." Antoni shot him a sidelong glance. "Are you, uh, into it for those reasons?"

"The kink? Nah." Matty shrugged. "Honestly, I'm pretty boring in bed. I guess I was curious though. I don't want to do any of the really kinky stuff they talk about or whatever but it's still interesting to watch. I do like seeing how many different things people are into. And they treat it like it's all normal."

There was even a demi character like Matty.

"No, I totally get that," Antoni said. "I'm not into really kinky stuff either or anything. But I definitely think it's great that there's such diverse representation."

"It kinda reminds me of the team," Matty admitted.

"The Fisher Cats?"

"Yeah, you know. Some guys are gay, some are bi or pan, some are straight … we've got a little bit of everything."

Antoni smiled. "I think that's so amazing that everyone is so accepting. I never wouldn't have expected sports to be like that."

"Oh, it's not like that everywhere," Matty admitted. "But yeah, Toronto … we have something special here."

"Cool."

"You wanna watch the show?" Matty gestured to the TV with his remote.

"Sure."

"I'll start at the beginning."

"Oh, no you don't have to—"

But Matty had already found season one, episode one and hit Play.

"You really are the nicest person ever," Antoni said with a sigh as the intro played.

Matty glanced over, embarrassed but pleased. "I dunno about that."

"You are though. You just have such a big heart. I was thinking earlier how grateful I am that you found me crying in your driveway."

"Aww, man," Matty said, hooking his arm around Antoni and dragging their bodies a little closer. "Now you're gonna make me cry."

Antoni chuckled and looked up, his lips parted and Matty swallowed hard, sparks fizzing through him. God, yeah, this was definitely way, way more than just friendship.

Matty wanted to press their mouths together and taste the beer on Antoni's tongue. And he'd definitely never thought that about Dustin or Dom or Jordan or any of the guys on the team.

"We wouldn't want that," Antoni said. He sounded sorta breathless and his tongue peeped out, sweeping across his lips.

Was that … did Antoni want him too? Matty swallowed hard, searching Antoni's eyes for some clue that they were feeling the same thing.

He tightened his grip on Antoni's shoulder and tilted his head, still studying his face.

Matty really hadn't expected this. Hadn't thought that he'd want Antoni this way. It wasn't why he'd asked him to move in—that thought was like a bucket of cold water to the face and Matty flinched, pulling away.

He was Antoni's landlord!

Friends too, at least he hoped so, he wanted to be his friend. But there was also a rental contract that had been signed and Antoni was in a really fucking bad place in his life right now.

It would be like taking advantage of him or something if Matty kissed him. It wasn't right.

He dropped his arm to the back of the sofa and drained the last of his beer.

Antoni made a soft, confused noise, then turned back to face the TV.

They watched in silence for a while before Antoni said, "Preston's a great actor, isn't he?"

Matty relaxed, glad Antoni seemed normal about everything. "Yeah, there's this unbelievable scene in season two. So heartbreaking and emotional. He should've won an Oscar for it."

"Emmy," Antoni said absently. "Oscars are film."

"Oh, right. I always mix those two up."

Antoni reached out and patted his thigh. "You should see me trying to remember the difference between affect and effect, and then trying to teach my students."

Matty chuckled, trying not to be disappointed when Antoni took his hand away. "I'm not sure I ever learned."

Antoni chuckled. "Well, I don't imagine it comes up a lot in hockey. And honestly, the secret to good writing is really just re-writing so you can avoid using the stuff that confuses you."

Matty grinned. "Next time I have to do a speech, I'm coming to you, man."

"Do you do a lot of them?" Antoni asked, tone curious.

"Nah. Not really. Sometimes I do talk at schools or whatever. But I'm not really the guy who wins at the NHL awards so there aren't too many big speeches for me."

"They don't have a nicest guy trophy?"

Matty chuckled. "Technically, they do. The Lady Byng trophy is for sportsmanship and gentlemanly conduct. But uh, that's only for on-ice behavior and that's not me when I have the gear on. I'm a mean motherfucker."

"That's such a wild contrast," Antoni murmured.

Matty shrugged. "I mean, it's my job. Do you act exactly the same way at home as you do at work?"

"I suppose not," Antoni said. "But the difference isn't that extreme."

"Yeah, fair." Matty rolled the beer bottle between his palms. "Maybe it's like a job plus a little bit of acting."

"Like a persona?"

"Um." Matty tried to remember if he actually knew what that word meant. He kinda wished he'd paid more attention in school growing up. Then again, wasn't like they'd really encouraged him once he showed he was good at sports.

Antoni seemed so smart though and Matty was kinda envious.

"Or a role?" Antoni offered.

"Yeah," Matty said gratefully. "It's kind of a role. Not exactly a character. I mean, I really do get pissed off when people go after Dustin or Colton or Dom or whatever but when we're off the ice, I'll have a beer with the guy who gave me a black eye. No hard feelings, you know?"

"I get that, I guess," Antoni said. "Not so different from acting really then."

"Probably." Matty had tried acting in a car commercial once and been really, really bad. No one had ever asked him to do it again.

"I mean … think about straight actors who do scenes like this." Antoni nodded at the screen to where Preston Graves was kissing his co-star. "I dunno who the other guy is, but even if he's straight, he probably feels something in the moment, even if he's not gonna act on it outside of the scene. Though probably having tons of cameras makes everything less sexy."

"Probably," Matty agreed. "But I guess we never know who is really straight or gay or bi or whatever anyway. That guy could be totally into it for a lot of reasons."

"True," Antoni agreed. "I do know it was a big deal when Preston Graves came out."

"I remember that," Matty said. "There was a big scandal, right?"

"Yeah, he got caught doing kinky stuff in real life."

"Ugh," Matty made a face. "I hate the gossip crap."

"Yeah, must be weird," Antoni agreed. "I know Preston and his husband did some interviews talking about how the scandal got them back together. So maybe it wasn't all bad. They are really cute together, even if his husband is super shy."

"Yeah?" Matty glanced over. "I don't think I know what the husband looks like."

"You've never seen pics of them together?"

Matty shook his head. "No, I don't think so. Or if I did, I didn't pay a lot of attention."

"Oh, so they're …" Antoni patted his pocket. "Crap, I left my phone upstairs."

Matty pulled his out, unlocked it, and handed it over. "Use mine."

"Cool, thanks." Antoni typed something in and held the phone out. "There. Preston Graves and Blake Aldrich."

Matty studied the screen. "Oh, huh. You look a little like him."

"Who? Blake Aldrich?" Antoni's forehead wrinkled.

"No, Preston. I didn't really think about it before but you know, the dark hair and the jaw and stuff, maybe." They kinda had similar lips too.

"Mmm." Antoni didn't look convinced. "If you say so. I don't think I look anything like a Hollywood actor. You kinda look like Blake Aldrich though."

"You think so?" Matty squinted at the picture. "I guess we have a similar build."

"Yeah, he's ho—uh, pretty strong-looking."

Matty had been thinking more like thick around the middle but he'd take the compliment.

"I'm kinda surprised a Hollywood star like Preston went for a regular guy like Blake Aldrich," Matty admitted. "He's an artist or something, right?"

"Yeah. A potter. He makes amazing stuff. And, well, they were childhood sweethearts."

"Oh, I know. I remember hearing that. I just … like I feel like Preston Graves is way out of Blake Aldrich's league."

Antoni frowned. "Why? Because Preston's famous?"

"No, 'cause he's better looking."

"Is he?" Antoni shrugged. "I dunno. I'm way more into guys like Blake."

"Yeah?" Matty asked.

"I dig bears." Antoni licked his lips.

"That's gay for bigger guys, right?"

Antoni laughed. "More or less."

"That's something you're into, huh?" Matty asked, knowing he should stop pushing but unable to do it.

"I … yeah. I kinda have a type, I suppose." Antoni swallowed loudly enough for Matty to hear.

"I don't … I don't think I have a type when it comes to guys," Matty said, his heart hammering way too fast.

Antoni froze, his beer halfway to his mouth for a moment before he lowered it to look at Matty. "You like guys?"

"Yeah?" Matty said. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Not that I've really dated any or done that much with a guy but, um, I do."

"I—I didn't know that," Antoni said faintly.

Matty took a deep breath. "Well, now you do."