CHAPTER TEN

After all of Antoni's and the kids' belongings were moved in and mostly unpacked, everyone met in the living room. Antoni made a nice speech to the guys, thanking them for their help today and got a hug from most of the guys and a slap on the arm from Dominic.

But his suspicious friend aside, Matty was happy with how the day had gone. And it was only noon.

Antoni was now snuggled up on the couch with River and a couple of the guys were playing with Reese on the floor.

Alexis was talking to Jonah about something hockey-related, Andrea was in a deep discussion with August about refereeing, and it made Matty feel a sense of rightness to see his new friends and his teammates get along.

This was how this house was supposed to feel. Warm and full of people.

It was like something clicked into place deep inside him. Like this was the life he was supposed to have.

"Okay, who's up for some pizza?" Matty said as he rubbed his hands together.

"Oh hel—heck yes," Felix said. "I love your homemade pizza."

Antoni looked up. "You make your own pizza?"

"Sure," Matty said. "Charlie started it though."

Charlie smiled. "My bestie—Taylor—he and I started making homemade pizza together a few years ago. And we started doing it as a team last season."

"And I have a pizza oven in the backyard," Matty said with a shrug. "So it's pretty easy."

"Want help?" Antoni asked, straightening. "I feel like that's the least I can do after all you've done for us today."

"I thought you could only cook ten things," Matty teased.

Antoni shot him a lopsided grin. "True. But I'm good at learning."

"Okay," Matty said, holding a hand out to help him up. "C'mon then. I'll teach the teach."

Antoni rolled his eyes but he took Matty's hand and let him pull him to his feet. He must not have been anticipating Matty's strength though because he stumbled forward, bumping into Matty's chest.

"Sorry," he said with a laugh.

"No worries." Matty steadied him. "Maybe don't go so hard on the root beer though."

Antoni laughed again and God, that was nice too. He looked so much more relaxed today.

Matty had really worried earlier that he'd fucked up but since their talk in the bedroom and seeing how much the kids liked their rooms, Antoni had seemed much lighter. He'd been laughing and joking with the team since and all of the kids had responded to it too, the mood happy and cheerful as the guys helped unpack boxes and settle things into place.

It made Matty feel good. Like he'd really done something right. Like he'd taken away the weight that Antoni had been carrying around for months. Maybe not all of it, but some.

Enough that he was smiling and happy as he followed Matty into the kitchen. But Matty was surprised when he felt something bump into his legs.

"I help too!" River said, tugging on his shirt.

"Of course you can help!" Matty said.

"River, can you say, ‘May I help too?'" Antoni coaxed. He glanced over at Matty. "River is working on her speech and it helps if we prompt her to use full sentences."

"Okay," Matty agreed.

"May … I help … too?" she sounded out slowly.

"Great job!" Matty said, holding out his hand for a knuckle bump. She looked confused so he demonstrated using his other hand. "That's like a high five but for hockey players."

She giggled and mimicked him.

"You got it on the first try!" he said. "I can tell you're smart."

She beamed. "Thanks!"

"That means I'm going to put you in charge of pizza making," Matty said, pointing to the stool by the island. "After we wash our hands, should I set you up on your throne there, Queen River?"

"Yes, please."

Matty smiled as he helped her lather up, then plopped her on the stool. She was just the cutest. Well, they were all cute. He didn't want to pick favorites.

"Now, this is how we make pizza," he said as he sprinkled some flour on the counter and dumped out two large bowls of dough.

Last night, he'd mixed the ingredients, then put the dough in the refrigerator.

He'd gotten the bowls out earlier so the dough had enough time to rise in the warm house and he'd pre-heated the pizza oven so they were all ready to start.

The dough was perfect now, all puffy and delicious-looking, and Charlie made an appreciative noise as he trailed into the kitchen and leaned against the counter to observe. "You're getting so good at this, Matty."

Matty beamed at Charlie. "It's cause I had such a good teacher."

"Well, I can't deny that," Charlie teased and they all laughed.

Matty showed Antoni and River how to stretch the dough out into rough circles, then left them to it while he and Charlie unloaded the refrigerator, setting out the various toppings.

"You there," he said to Antoni, when there were little blobs of dough spread out all over the island counter.

"Who me?" Antoni widened his eyes.

They were dark brown, kinda like the root beer Antoni had been drinking earlier. He must not have had time to shave this morning because he had some stubble along his jaw and his brown hair was sort of curly and fluffy from the humid air outside. He looked good. Happy and relaxed and Matty wanted to pull him close, like he had earlier.

It had just felt right to have Antoni in his arms.

"Uh, yeah," Matty said, shaking his head to clear the confusing thoughts from it. He'd worry about them later, when he had time to really think about them and why they were coming out of nowhere. "Are you up for chopping mushrooms?"

"Yes." Antoni rubbed the back of his hand across his nose like it itched. "But I need to wash my hands first. I'm all covered in dough."

He wriggled his long, slender fingers and Matty noticed the veins crisscrossing the backs of his hands. They were nice hands and he idly wondered if Antoni would ever want to try shooting a puck.

"Sure," Matty said, reaching to flip on the faucet. "I guess we can allow that."

Antoni grinned and as he stepped closer, Matty spotted flour on his cheek.

"Hey. You've got a little …" he said, gesturing to Antoni's face.

"A little what?" Antoni scrunched up his nose.

"Oh, flour," Matty said, reaching out to brush it away. The callous on his thumb made a quiet rasping sound as he brushed the pad of it across Antoni's stubble.

"Yeah?" Antoni said, sounding a little breathless. "Do I?"

"Mmhmm," Matty said. "But I took care of it."

Antoni smiled softly. "You like that, don't you? Taking care of people?"

And Matty nodded. "Yeah, I do."

"I—"

Someone giggled.

"What's so funny?" he asked as he looked at Charlie and River who were laughing about something together.

He also caught a glimpse of the guys in the living room suddenly turning away or ducking behind the sofa. When a few muffled laughs came from that crew, Matty rolled his eyes.

"What is so funny?" he asked, annoyed no one would let him in on the joke.

But no one would answer him so Matty grabbed a can of pineapple with a frown. Why were people being so weird?

Thankfully, they calmed down after that and it wasn't long before everyone was happily assembling pizzas, squabbling over topping preferences and jostling to get to the head of the line.

Matty went out to the yard to do the actual cooking. Dustin had volunteered to help and while that was a little concerning because he couldn't cook that well, it was nice to have a second set of hands.

Dustin and Matty took turns carrying uncooked pizzas out to the oven and cooked ones inside. On Matty's third trip inside, he carried in another perfectly melty and browned pizza, then placed it on the dining room table he never ate at.

It was perfect for serving food buffet-style like this though.

"I've got one sausage, bell peppers, onion, tomato, and olive pizza here!" Matty called out, sliding it onto a platter. "The pineapple, ham, and mushroom will be up next."

The guys immediately jostled to get to the food.

"Get away from me. I'll fight you for the sausage," Colton hissed at Jordan as they elbowed each other. "You're not taking all of it this time!"

Nico cackled. "That's what he said."

"Nico!" August protested. "There are children around!"

"It's not my fault if they get the joke," he said with a wink. "But seriously, they were arguing about the sausage pizza last time."

Matty shook his head fondly. "You're all terrible."

He looked over and winked at Alexis who'd been quietly giggling to herself. Clearly, she got the joke, but the younger ones were oblivious.

When Matty glanced at Antoni, he just shrugged, an amused look on his face.

"Actually, I'm great," Nico said as he turned to face the room.

"Yeah, yeah," Matty said with a snort. "We know you're full of yourself, man."

"Yeah, shut up already!" Colton hollered and several more guys shouted their agreement. "We don't want to hear it!"

"No, seriously. I've got an announcement to make," Nico protested, laughing. "I got the all-clear to practice with you guys. Full-contact and everything!"

"Holy sh—nikes!" Matty said, tackling Nico and nearly knocking his plate out of his hand. "That's awesome! Your head is all healed up, huh?"

"Yup. Turns out my head is pretty damn hard," Nico joked.

"Oh, shocker," Jonah teased. "Never would have guessed."

The team laughed and Matty jostled Nico happily. This was such good news. Everyone took turns hugging and back-slapping Nico, treating him a lot more roughly than they had since his injury, glad to know he wasn't so breakable now.

August looked both happy and worried and Matty imagined how hard it must be for him, knowing Nico would go back on the ice. If the doctors said Nico was ready, that meant he was, but it still had to be scary.

Matty glanced around to see Antoni standing by the table, helping himself to some salad Matty had made last night. There was a puzzled expression on his face as he watched the guys celebrate Nico's good news.

"You look confused," Matty said, stepping closer.

"Uhh, clearly I missed something," Antoni said. "I mean, everyone's happy and that's great but I'm not sure I understand why."

"Nico's had a rough year," Matty said softly. "Last fall, he had a couple of hard hits in a game and had a seizure on the ice."

"Ohh. Yikes. That's really scary."

"It was. But that was the least of it really. It turns out he had a brain tumor. Not cancer but still really scary stuff. They had to open up his skull to remove it. Took a while for him to recover but he's been doing really well since last spring. He's been able to work out and train in other ways for a while. But they wouldn't clear him to get on the ice until his skull was fully healed or whatever, and this is the all-clear. The news he's been waiting for since last winter."

"Full-contact means he can get hit again, yeah?" Antoni asked with a little frown.

"Yeah."

"Huh." Antoni gave him a lopsided grin. "I'm not sure I would call that good news but I'm happy for him. And for you guys. You all seem really excited."

Matty beamed. "We are. I mean, just having Nico back will be amazing. He's an incredible player. Might take him a little bit to get his legs back under him, but man, the team really needs him."

He glanced over to see Alexis hugging Nico and it made Matty happy. If she was a fan of the team, she'd probably seen the hit.

Matty shuddered. If he never saw anything like that happen again, it would be too soon.

"Hey! Where'd the pizza man go?" Dustin hollered from the doorway.

"Be right there!" Matty offered Antoni a little smile. "Sorry, gotta go."

"Sure, no prob," Antoni said, smiling back. "This salad is really good, by the way."

"Glad you like it."

When Matty met Dustin at the door, he raised an eyebrow. "Everything okay?"

"Oh, yeah," Matty assured him. "But you missed Nico's announcement!"

"Yeah, he told me yesterday."

"Ahh. Captain's privilege," Matty said with an understanding nod.

"Something like that," Dustin agreed, smiling. "But I do like that guys are coming to me more with their problems and their good news."

"You're a good captain, D," Matty assured him as he loaded the giant paddle with the final pizza and slid it into the oven. "And I have a great feeling about this season."

"Yeah? Me too."

Smiling, they stood side by side and Matty watched the pizza puff up and brown, the cheese melting. He thought that maybe life was finally coming together.

He had a house full of happy people and hope for the upcoming season. It was a warm, sunny day and the future for the team looked bright.

After the food had been decimated, the party wound down. The kids were yawning and well, so were the hockey players, all of them ready for naps.

Matty was looking forward to spending a lazy afternoon at home.

When the last person had left the house, Matty closed the door behind them and walked back into the main living area.

Antoni was in the dining room, staring at the table. He looked confused. "I thought there would be some left. What … how is it all gone already? We made like a dozen pizzas, I swear."

"Not quite that many," Matty said with a laugh. "But I told you hockey players eat a lot."

"I only got two pieces!" Antoni protested. "I was trying to be polite."

Matty laughed and nudged him with his elbow. "Yeah, we'll cure you of that real quick."

"Huh. Not even a little bit of consideration that I'm a guest?" Antoni asked, loading his plate with salad.

Matty shook his head. "Nope. You live here. That means you're one of us now."

The slow, sweet smile that lit up Antoni's face made Matty want to pull him in for a hug.

"That's what Charlie said earlier."

"That okay?" Matty asked. He knew this team could feel a little overwhelming to people who weren't used to it.

"Yeah. I think I'm going to like being around here," Antoni said softly, like he wasn't sure he was supposed to admit it.

"I think I'm gonna like having you here," Matty said, beaming.

But that was a lie. He already did.

After the team left, River and Reese went down for their naps, Eli went to read, and Alexis disappeared into her bedroom.

Antoni got to work cleaning the kitchen. Matty tried to protest but Antoni wouldn't hear of it.

"You cooked, I'll clean," he insisted. "Besides, it'll help me get familiar with the space."

Matty had finally, grudgingly, gone to take his own nap.

"It's just habit," he'd said sheepishly before he left to go to his bedroom in the guest house. "After a couple of decades of doing pregame naps, my body's just kind of used to it."

A nap sounded amazing to Antoni too but there was a kitchen to clean so he cued up an audiobook from the library to listen to while he got to work scrubbing.

There was a mountain of dishes to wash but a good number of them fit in the dishwasher and he tackled the rest by hand.

When everything was done and the roomy kitchen was spotless, Antoni went to check on the kids.

The two youngest were just waking up so Antoni helped them pick out some toys and set them up in the main living area. River chose wooden trains to play with and Reese got some sensory toys for fine motor development.

Alexis did some drawing on her tablet and Eli stayed in their room reading. It made Antoni smile to see them. He'd been like that as a kid too, happier to be left alone in his own little world.

He was able to do some lesson planning at the dining room table and then they had an easy dinner of grilled cheese and tomato soup. Antoni assumed Matty made his own dinner in the kitchen in the guest house.

He deserved some peace and quiet.

They watched a kids' movie after that and then it was time for bed for the younger ones.

Reese went right to sleep but when Antoni put River down to sleep after her bath, she was unusually fussy. Her eyes were normally drooping by the time he was halfway done with a story but they'd read two tonight and she was still wide awake and unhappy.

"Need Mama," she said fitfully, clutching her new fluffy cloud pillow along with her ratty bunny.

"I know you want your mama," Antoni said softly, stroking her hair, wishing he could do more to help her understand. "But she's gone. It's just me now."

"Need Mama!" she said, her eyes welling up. "Picture!"

"Oh!" Relieved, Antoni stood. "Sorry. Yeah. Let me get it. I know right where it is. I'll get it right now, okay?"

River subsided, watching him with big, wary tear-filled eyes as he strode to the box near the closet. They hadn't quite gotten everything unpacked yet but he should have remembered to get this out first thing.

He dug through the box, sighing with relief when he found the framed picture of Bethany and River at the park.

"Here, River," he said, carrying the frame over. "Here's Mama."

"Mama!" she said happily, taking it from him.

Antoni probably should have pushed her to speak in full sentences but he didn't want to force it when she was so upset.

"Where do you want me to put the picture?" Antoni asked gently. "On the dresser there, maybe?" He pointed at the one across the room. "She can watch over you there."

"Okay." River hugged the frame to her chest for a moment and then handed it to him.

"Do you like your new room?" he asked when the picture was in the right place and she was tucked under the covers.

"Yeah." She blinked sleepily. "Lights pretty."

"Yes, the lights are pretty. I'm glad you like your room. Do you want your nightlight on too? Or are these enough?"

"These enough."

"Okay. Now, you know where my room is if you need anything, right? Down the hall and to the left."

He pointed to show her and she nodded solemnly. "Okay."

"How about I read you one more story because tonight's a special night? And then you need to close your eyes and sleep."

"Okay. Moon story please."

So he got the story about the moon that she loved so much—and he laughed softly to himself because he knew exactly where Charlie had gotten the idea to decorate her room this way.

River's eyes were closed by the time he was halfway through and she was deeply asleep by the time he finished.

He pressed a soft, gentle kiss to the top of her head, then shut the door most of the way, leaving it open just a crack.

Like someone had cut the strings holding him up, Antoni slumped against the wall and took a deep breath. For every good moment, there was a tough one to follow.

There would be for a long time. For years, probably.

And it took so much out of him every time. Trying to anticipate all of the landmines of grief that would hit the kids. Being there for them in the ways they needed. Not fucking it all up horribly.

The counselors who saw the kids kept saying they were doing well but it was so hard. So exhausting.

But as Antoni walked down the hall to his new bedroom, he thought that maybe, just maybe, he could at least get a good night's sleep in the future.

And maybe that would help him feel better prepared to be there for the kids.

His throat went a little thick as he thought of Matty's kindness and generosity.

Antoni had some amazing people in his life but Matty … he really wasn't like anyone Antoni had ever met before.

And Antoni had never been more grateful they'd met.