Chapter 22

Paige

A fter spending the entire day beside Varek in the mines, a male guard brought him a plate of food. My mate looks me over to make sure my leathers are in place before pushing me to my feet.

“Go. Eat. Get some rest in our furs,” he orders.

I shake my head. “Absolutely not. I’m staying here.”

He shoots the guard a look and barks an order to drag me away.

“Wait!” I shout when the guard does as Varek says. “You can’t just–”

But Varek just chuckles.

Jerk.

It nearly breaks my heart to see the light from his chest flicker out the further I walk away. But maybe he’s right. I’m exhausted. I need to check on my friends and I have too many questions to ignore.

I emerge from the mines to the common halls, the soft trickling rays from the skylight almost burning my eyes. I rub them and blink to adjust to the light and turn to my escort. “Where’s Draxel?”

I need to get some insight on what the council might decide. Varek wouldn’t answer my questions and the longer I sit with my worries, the worse I feel.

“The council sent Draxel and the other hunters out to bring back a strid to accommodate the new females. More mouths to feed,” he says. “Plus—” he looks me up and down, his face pinched in disgust. “We need more leathers for clothing.”

I choke out a laugh. He’s looking at me like I’m the alien.

Well, I suppose for him I am.

I nod. “Thanks.”

He turns to leave, but my curiosity gets the best of me and I can’t stop myself. “Wait! Um, have you seen Kylor?”

“He’s meeting with the tradesmen before they set off for Treven’s crossing.”

“Where?” I ask. The chances of Kylor answering all my questions doesn’t give me hope, but at this point I’m desperate. If I can’t talk to him, I’ll march my ass back into the mines and shackle myself beside Varek if I have to.

“In the armory.”

My brows pinch. Shit, a place Varek never showed me.

The male points behind my back. “Past the kitchens in the inner cove.”

I nod like I know what that means and then take my chances.

My jaw aches from gritting my teeth as I pad across the soft dirt ground. I keep my head down, refusing to look at any Vrut who crosses my path. Embarrassment floods through me.

The council allowed me to stay and this is how I repay them? Getting one of their Highseers in trouble and draining their resources?

I run my hands down my face and force myself to think about anything else but my own failures.

But they are everywhere.

I pass the kitchens, the scent of fresh fruit and ruvash stirring hunger pains in my belly. I wonder about Varek, if they’re bringing him enough food. Maybe after I talk to Kylor I can sneak him some more.

My eyes peeled, I press further until I hear faint voices down a rocky and dark path into the center of the mountain. These tunnel systems are vast and though I’m getting the hang of the main areas, and our private chambers, there’s still so much of it I haven’t explored.

I look around, making sure no one is watching me as I slip down the path. There’s an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach as I press on, following the echoing voices. Around a sharp corner, the chamber opens up to a large arena. Along the wall are hand carved racks straight into the rock holding spears, blades, and what look like human spears. The dimensions are different and the bow looks like bone, but I recognize it all.

This is the armory.

Someone clears their throat and my heart stalls.

“Paige?” Kylor asks. “Have you gotten lost?”

He’s talking to three males. Two I don’t recognize but the other is Lyzar, the one who led me down to the mines the other day.

I scratch the back of my head, wondering if I should just play dumb and turn around, and run out of here before I get myself or Varek into more trouble.

Lyzar nods as if he can read my damn mind, boosting my confidence. I suck in a deep breath, steeling myself.

“I came to speak with you.”

Kylor hangs his head and nods. He communicates something under his breath to the three males and then dismisses them with a wave of his hand. Each male carries a large sack on his back and enough leathers to make even me sweat. Treven’s crossing must be far away.

“You wished to speak with me?” Kylor asks.

Ever the calm demeanor, he lifts his chin and clasps his hands in front of him. I swallow down the lump in my throat and cut the distance between us, joining him in the center of the room.

“About Varek,” I start. “I was wondering what to expect from the trial.”

His lips press together. “The council will list all of Varek’s wrongdoings and then give his punishment.”

“Will there be others?” I ask. I’m imagining a courtroom with my friends and me sitting in the rows behind the bench as Kylor hands down a life sentence. “I mean, am I allowed to be there?”

“Do you want to be?”

I nod.

“Then you may.”

I press. “And what if I want more people there? Like an audience?”

“An audience?” he echoes, frowning back at me. “And what would be the purpose?”

To explain his innocence. To tell everyone the reason why he chose to betray his people. To ultimately reveal the true villain in the glowhollow.

Me.

“To explain,” I say, biting the inside of my cheek to keep my emotions in check. Needles prickle my throat.

Kylor goes silent, breathing through his wide nose.

“What should I—” I wait until I know I can get the question out without my voice wavering. “What should I expect?”

The Highseer in front of me opens his mouth as if to say something, then closes it again.

I think I’m going to lose my mind if he doesn’t put me out of my misery.

“Prepare to say goodbye.”

I feel like the ground rips out from under me. Kylor bows his head and steps around me, seeing himself out.

I blink, wrapping my arms around myself as a chill tears down my body. Say goodbye?

How could I?

It hasn’t even been two weeks since I met Varek and now he’s…

He’s everything.

He’s become everything.

I twist around to argue with him, beg him to give us a chance, but Kylor is gone. I’m alone and I can’t hold it back any longer.

I sink to the dirt floor. A heavy pressure crushes my rib cage and I can’t breathe. Hot tears streak down my cheeks as the first true sob falls from my lips—a mixture of an anguished cry and a painful breath mixing into a pitiful sound I don’t even recognize.

Say goodbye?

I don’t think it’s possible

I feel dizzy, my heartbeat in my throat. Pulling my knees to my chest, I hug myself tight and imagine he’s here—holding me.

But he’s not. And this is what it will feel like to say goodbye. A caved-in chest and a heart that doesn’t want to keep beating.

“No,” I whimper and sniffle. “No.”