16. Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

" S o, Emma, how was your date?" Mary asked the next morning as I came downstairs to grab a bagel for breakfast. She was already moving about the kitchen, dressed and ready for work with an oversized pink t-shirt and black leggings. Her blond wavy hair framed her face as she turned to look at me with a smile, waiting for me to respond.

"It wasn't a date, Mary," I said, grabbing a bagel from the counter and the cream cheese from the fridge.

"Uh, it kind of was. Did he pay for you?" Her smile was growing. I grabbed a butter knife from the drawer, a plate from the cupboard, and sat down on the stool at the kitchen bar.

"Yes."

"Hold your hand?"

"Yes," I said as I swiped cream cheese on the bagel. I didn't bother toasting it as it took too long, and my stomach was already growling.

"Then it was so, a date," she said with her widest smile as she walked to the fridge, grabbed the orange juice, then a cup in the cupboard, and began to pour herself a glass. It was nice to see her so happy, but it was confusing at the same time. I stopped spreading the cream cheese.

"I thought you didn't like Shad," I said, raising a brow and setting the knife down on the counter. She drank her cup of orange juice in one go, then set her empty cup on the granite countertop and leaned her back against it, crossing her arms. I took a small bite of my bagel, waiting for her answer while enjoying my breakfast immensely with my generous serving of cream cheese. The more cream cheese the better , I always thought.

"Well, he isn't my favorite person, but I talked to Ryker, and he assured me that Shad is safe."

"Safe?" I almost choked on a piece of my bagel. I coughed as I tried to clear my throat.

"Yes, safe . That's important, Emma," she said, uncrossing her arms and placing her hands on her hips.

"I am surprised Ryker said he was safe. Ryker hates Shad," I said, once my throat was cleared.

"He did say he disliked him, but it was all personal," she shrugged.

Safe, what is that about? Is Mary worried she will lose me, too, in a car crash or something, like my parents? He was a safe driver. He was pretty much the most put together and responsible person I knew. Mary filled up a glass of water and handed it to me. I took a few large gulps.

"He is a safe driver, Mary. You don't need to worry," I said, not looking at her, but the last few bites left of my uneaten bagel.

"Well, good. I am glad Ryker was right," she said.

I rolled my eyes and tried not to groan. Ryker was really on my last nerve.

"Ryker said Homecoming is coming up. You two plan on going?" Mary asked. I looked up as she pulled her blond hair up into a messy bun. "We need to get you a dress if so."

I twisted a piece of bagel in my fingers, as I looked at her, with my cheeks heating up. "I actually have a date. I'm not going with Ryker."

"You have a date!" she said, smiling as she finished her bun and sat down on the stool beside me..

"I mean, Shad asked me last night. I, of course, said ‘yes'; I really like him, Mary."

Her smile vanished.

"Really, Mary. I like him. Can you try?" I begged.

She smiled and nodded, "anything for you, sweetheart."

"Thanks."

"How about we go dress shopping this week? You can even bring that girl, what was her name—"

"Ash?"

"Yes, Ash, you can bring Ash along. Does she have a date?"

"Not sure, but this guy named Sam is always flirting with her. I bet he asks." I took another sip of my water.

"Okay, wonderful! Okay, I have to head into the shop. I will see you tonight." She smiled, kissed the top of my head, and walked out of the kitchen. I finished my bagel in silence.

I headed towards Ash's locker with pep in my step. The halls were mostly quiet as it was still early. While I walked through the hallways, I kept thinking back to Shad and to our date, or whatever it was. I wanted to do that again. Ash was standing with her back against the tan lockers, talking to some boy with dark brown hair whose face I could not see. He towered over Ash. He wore a black leather Jacket, black shirt, and black pants. Ash had her arms crossed, and even with her small body, attitude and annoyance radiated from her.

"So, Ashlyn?" the boy asked as I approached.

Ash looked at me, embarrassment written all over her face. "Emma!" she shouted and smiled. "Glass, this is Emma. Emma, this is Glass."

He looked at me, and I stood back in shock. He was handsome, but what surprised me was the large scar across the right side of his face.

"We will talk later," the guy said; then he strode off with an angry growl. Ash stuck out her tongue at him and stomped her foot.

"What was that all about?" I asked, motioning to the guy, with a chuckle at her behavior.

"He doesn't go to this school," was all she said.

"Okay, so why is he so mad at you, and why is he here at school?"

"He just thinks he can control me, like everyone else in my life. But I am my own person, and I make the calls, or I mean, call the shots." She fumbled around inside her locker for her hot pink backpack and faced me after she slammed the locker shut. She wore a hot pink crop top and high waisted black flared leggings, with a pair of high-top, black Converse shoes.

"Sorry. Your brother?" I asked.

"No, it doesn't matter; he's annoying. He's a family friend, and he checks in on me from time to time. Don't worry; he won't bother me again at school. I will make sure of that." She was still frowning.

"Is he dangerous?" I didn't want my new friend to get hurt. Can I help her?

"No, he is all bark . Really, Emma, don't worry. I can handle him," she said with a flick of her wrist.

"Okay, if you are sure," I said.

She nodded, then smiled.

Is this a good time to ask her about going shopping with Mary and me? Now or never, I thought. "So, do you want to go dress shopping with my Aunt Mary and me?"

"For Homecoming!?" she asked, jumping slightly up and down. There is the Ash I know. "Yes," I smiled. Her enthusiasm was addictive.

She frowned. "I don't have a date yet."

"Well, it's still early, and Sam is in love with you. I am sure he will ask you, soon," I said playfully.

"Sam? Are you sure? I do like him," she giggled.

"So, you wanna come with us?"

"Even if I don't go to the dance, I would love to come, yes! I haven't been to a formal event, or even seen formal dresses in so long," She added with a sigh of longing and her hand pressed to her heart. "That boy better ask me soon!" She smiled.

"I am sure he will. See you at lunch."

"Bye!" she called in her sing-song voice.

I walked down the hall to my locker. I turned the dial to enter my combination when Shad came up from behind me. I didn't see him right away, but I knew he was there because the familiar song began playing in my head. I turned when I saw him, and smiled. I loved the connection we had, even if I didn't understand it.

"Good morning," I said with a full smile, still facing my locker.

"Good morning," he replied from behind me.

I turned to look at him as I closed my locker.

"Um, Emma?" Shad asked.

"Yes?"

"Didn't you need your books?"

I grunted, turned, and opened my locker again. "You know, if you didn't distract me so much with that beautiful face—" I stopped turning the dial and clasped a hand over my mouth.

"So you think my face is beautiful?" he said, sounding amused as he stepped to the side of me.

"No, boys aren't beautiful," I said, unzipping my backpack and shoving my books inside, not making eye contact with him. Gah, why do I have to be so embarrassing?

"No, except for me?" He sounded all too happy.

I shook my head. "Shad—" I embarrassingly whined.

He took my hand and entangled our fingers, making me finally look up at his bright eyes and handsome smile. "Sorry, Emma, I like your blush too much. I will try not to tease you." He winked.

"I embarrass myself enough on my own, you know. You don't need to make the embarrassment last longer," I fake pouted. He touched my bottom lip, and I felt an electric shock pulse through me, there.

"You are not embarrassing. Not at all."

I was still frozen in place with my eyes locked onto Shad's as he pressed his finger against my lips, tracing them so softly, and all I wanted was for him to bend down and press those soft, perfect lips against mine. He leaned closer.

Kiss me.

Kiss me.

I pleaded inside myself, praying, hoping, willing him–to kiss me.

"Emma, I—" he said, looking from my eyes over to my lips.

"Yes?" I asked, moving an inch closer. His eyes went wider, and his lips twitched into a soft smile. He touched my chin, moving it up at a much better angle, I was sure, for a kiss—

"Hey, Emma, What's—" I heard someone say from behind us.

Shad dropped his hand as I turned around to see Ryker in his white and blue football jersey, his backpack on, and hanging over one shoulder was his blue gym bag–a very classic Ryker look, usually endearing to me, but not at that moment. Not only was I enraged about him lying to our classmates about me, but I was pretty sure that I was just about to get my first kiss. Of course, he ruined it. I glared at him and his unruly curly blond locks across his forehead. His glare back was painful. He looked at Shad and then at me, and then to our clasped hands.

"—Up?" Ryker finally finished with a snap. He had no right to be angry—even though part of me wanted to comfort him, because he was my friend—a stronger part of me was too angry to do anything but speak my mind.

"Oh, hey Ryker," I responded in irritation. His eyes left our tangled hands and met Shad's eyes.

"Don't touch her," Ryker glared at Shad moving forward as if to grab me, but Shad moved me behind him.

"Ryker, you need to stop this. You are hurting Emma. Is that what you want?" Shad asked.

Ryker looked at me, and I watched his face change for only a moment to softness, but then back to rough as he spat: "She doesn't know what she is getting into. Do you plan on explaining things to her before you take away all of her choices?"

"Like you did?" Shad asked calmly, and even though I could sense his frustration, Ryker was so different with his obvious anger toward the situation—which was clear from his hand movements and glares.

"Do not compare us. We are nothing alike."

"Now, Ryker, that I agree with. We are absolutely nothing alike," Shad said.

"So tell her then," Ryker urged.

"I have not lied to her. Have you?" Shad raised a brow, and I could not help but wonder what they were talking about. I knew Ryker had lied to me, though, telling everyone I was his girlfriend and never telling me about it. Was there another lie? When would he stop lying?

"So, I heard something interesting—" I finally spoke, moving into view from behind Shad, not caring about their guy drama. Ryker turned to me, and I moved to stand directly in front of him. "You've been telling people I'm your girlfriend?" I accused him.

"Yeah, so?" he said with a shrug.

"What do you mean, ‘ so '?" I shrugged back to mock him.

"No big deal. People asked, and I just needed to tell them something. I thought it was funny."

"‘Funny'? Lying to everyone–about me –is ‘ funny ' to you? You didn't think it might have been something I should know about?" I raised my voice.

"Sorry, I didn't think it would bother you. You don't really seem that interested in dating. I thought it would be nice to not worry about turning guys down." He met my gaze. Those blue eyes I used to find so comforting felt so ice cold.

"What? Ryker, I should be the one making that choice–not you!"

"Well, you haven't even been on one date," he shouted with hands raised in the air.

I clutched my fingers together in irritation. That was just about the most embarrassing thing he could have said in front of Shad.

"Well, thanks for that, Ryker. Yell it out to the whole world, why don't you!" I said clenching my fists tightly at my sides.

"I didn't think you cared about that stuff!" His eyes held so much anger as he yelled at me. He was always mad over the past few months; he never used to be so angry and never used to yell at me.

Where is my best friend?

"That ‘stuff'? You mean dating ? Of course, I want to date! Of course, I care about ‘that stuff.' You never let me," I said, raising a finger at him, hoping my words stung at least a little. He sighed and tossed his curly hair back out of his face and clutched his football bag tighter before tossing it onto the ground to the side of us.

"What is going on with you?" I had just about enough of Ryker.

"I am sorry," he huffed as he walked closer to me. "I didn't mean to make you upset," Ryker said without yelling.

I nodded, too angry to speak at the moment. Who was he becoming? Why is he keeping things from me? Would I lose him, too? This isn't my Ryker; this isn't my friend. What is happening to him?

"Well, Emma, we should probably head to class," I heard Shad say from behind me.

"Yeah, okay," I responded, taking one last look at Ryker.

"Emma, I am really sorry," Ryker pleaded.

"She said she was fine, Ryker," Shad said.

Before I knew it, Shad placed his arm around my shoulders and led me away from Ryker, my past world, my best friend. I was so frustrated with Ryker, so hurt and confused, that I didn't even look back. I was grateful to be pulled away from him. Our fight wasn't going anywhere.

"What I wouldn't do to punch that—" Shad nearly growled, seemingly very angry, himself. "I cannot believe what he just said to you, Emma. I am so sorry. I know you care about him." He pulled the mess of waves from my face, tucking a few strands behind my ears.

I was surprised by his gentleness, surprised that he cared enough to be that irritated with Ryker, and then, I wasn't—because Shad was my friend, and he had only ever been gentle and kind to me.

"I wish he would talk to me; we used to tell each other everything."

Shad turned my chin so that I was looking at him. At his touch, more hot flutters flew through me. He quickly wiped my tears away softly with his fingers and looked at me.

I did not realize that I was crying.

"Men are stupid. In every land, in every place, and in every age; they are dumb," he smirked.

"What do you mean? You are a guy," I sniffled and tried to calm myself down.

"Of course, and I am dumb, sometimes, when it comes to females, especially you. You haven't known me for long enough yet, but I will make my own fair share of mistakes, my darling. Regardless of my appearance, I am not perfect." He gave me a sweet smile.

" Darling ?" I almost whispered the word.

"What?" he asked, looking at me as if he had just called me Emma , as if calling me "darling" was as normal as breathing.

"I just—I mean, I haven't heard anyone call someone ‘darling' before," I said, looking into his eyes.

"Ah, yes, sorry about that, if you do not like it–"

"No, I like it—" I started, then paused.

He smiled wide.

"Good. But, everyone makes mistakes, Emma; you cannot let a beautiful face distract you," he winked with a wicked grin.

"Wow, you really won't leave me alone about calling you beautiful, will you?" I asked with a smile. He touched the tip of my nose and shook his head in a no .

I laughed.

He had done a good job of distracting me for a moment, and I was grateful.

"Ryker has always been there for me. He was there when my parents died. He helps me with everything, and I owe him everything."

"Is he always so controlling of your life?" he asked, stiffening beside me, his hands dropping from my face. Why did he seem upset?

"Well, yeah, but that's what friends do–I mean, recently, I told him it was time for me to make my own choices–"

"No, Emma. That is what a parent would do, but not even. It is almost like he is afraid for you to live , to experience life. I would never want you to live in such a way that years from now, you would resent me because I kept you in some cage and never let you fly. My father kept me in a cage, and I missed out on so much of life. I wish I had been able to have a childhood filled with friendships and memories of days playing and being carefree. I will always wish I had that. I was raised to grow up fast, and I did."He looked up to me; his eyes looked over every feature of my face before meeting my gaze. He was opening up to me more and more, and I loved it. I wanted to know him, every single thing about him.

I forgot about Ryker in that moment.

"Men? Boys? We are stupid," he finally said after a long pause.

"You said that."

"Still true." Then the bell rang. I jumped and clutched his shirt in my hands, placing my cheek to his chest. I wanted to stay there forever. I didn't want to move. The electric charge that flooded through me was pulsating from where we had touched, I did not want to–but I pulled away.

"Sorry," I said, letting go of his shirt and trying to smooth over the wrinkles my hands had made.

"Don't say, ‘ sorry ,'" he said, grasping my hand. "I am not sorry."

I tried to clear my brain. "I have to go to class now." I started walking, thinking of a million different things. Most of them revolved around Shad's comforting presence and words. But, as I turned down the hall, a picture of Ryker's sad and hurt face popped into my head, and it wouldn't go away.

I had a hard time focusing on my classes that day. It was difficult to think of anything but the two boys who had become my world. Ryker was hiding things from me and was having random outbursts of anger. Then there was Shad. He sent my heart in a flutter and made my knees weak. But even more than that, he was kind and sweet, and being around him made me feel like I was circling the sun. I needed him in my life; I knew it to my very core.

At least, Math class was a high point in my day.

I wiggled my pencil while watching Shad work on a problem.

"So, Shad, what do you like to do?"

He held up a ruler he had used to make a chart as I spoke. "I enjoy reading." He looked at me and asked, "Why?"

"Oh, come on, there has to be something else, other than reading and roses." I paused before continuing, "Anything you do with your guardian?"

"We should probably get to work, or we will never finish this," he replied as he lifted up my paper and placed his hand over it.

"I want to know more about you, Shad," I spoke softly, almost as if I didn't want him to hear, which let's be honest, was true.

"I want to know you, too, Emma, but during Math class, it is a hard time to divulge secrets, is it not?" he smiled.

"I just need to talk right now, if you don't mind?" I leaned back with worry and disappointment, and then looked at my paper.

But then, Shad spoke.

"I miss my mother and my younger sister. I wish I could see them again," he said. I looked up at his serious expression.

"Where are they?" I asked.

"They are far away from me, I can not travel there, though I wish to."

"Could they not take care of you or something?" I asked.

"No, nothing like that—" he began and sat back, running a hand through his hair.

"I am so sorry, Shad."

"Thank you, Emma," he said with a sweet smile that made my stomach twist. "I'd love to share more with you. Perhaps, we should get together outside of school??"

"I would like that."

He took my hand and rubbed it gently. "It is just a rather complicated story, and I'd rather recount it in private." He looked at me, his eyes drenched with sadness.

"After my parents—" I whispered, wanting to ease his pain. I looked at him, "I thought I could never be really happy again. I thought I deserved to die, too, but then—" I gulped, trying to hold back tears.

"Oh, Em-ma," his voice broke in the middle of my name as if he was in agony with me.

"It's getting better, but sometimes—I still feel so lonely and sad. The nightmares have stopped for a little while now. I am grateful for that. But my parents' absence, it haunts me. It's been the hardest thing I've ever been through, and I am so sorry that you miss your family, so sorry you can't be with them when you know they are still alive. I can't even imagine that."

"I am alright. Do not worry about me."

"I am sorry, though."

He nodded, squeezing my hand again.

I cleared my throat. "Pain does fade with time. I will always miss my family as I am sure you will, too; however, it does become less painful—with time."

I nodded. Time. Time seemed to be the remedy for most things. As I considered ‘time,' all I could think of was that watch, which my dad had worn on his wrist, and the splatters of blood that had dripped onto its face. I could see it, and it made my stomach churn. I shook my head, trying hard not to get stuck in that memory. Time? Is it a friend or a foe? I was not sure, but I did hope that it would heal me as everyone seemed to believe it could.

"So, this equation—" I asked, gulping, refocusing on math in an effort to clear the nightmare from my brain. As I watched him explain the equation to me for the second time, I could not help but think about what I had told him. I had just let him in. He was the first person I had ever told about my parents, that they had died–well, other than Mary and Ryker. I had never said those words to anyone else, and it stung. It also felt freeing, as if I wasn't alone—it felt like I could accept it, perhaps, someday.

The next day, Ash and I were going to go with Mary to pick out Homecoming dresses. Ryker and Shad were not at school, and I missed them both. At lunch, I listened as Sam talked to Ash and me about football. I really didn't know much about the sport, which was surprising because Ryker loved football. I watched as Sam flirted with Ash, and it made me smile. I wondered if Sam would ever just go on and ask her to Homecoming, already. I mean, was it so hard?

Last period, and I had a small hope that Shad would be there, sitting at his desk near the teacher, but his seat was empty. Where is he? I found myself growing angry as I walked to the parking lot to wait for Mary and Ash after school got out. As I stood there waiting, Shad walked from the parking lot, over to me, where I stood near the front entrance of the school.

"Wow, how odd to see you here," I said, not looking at him, still bothered.

"I go to school here," he said, and I could tell he was smiling from the sound of his voice.

"Not today, it would seem," I grunted.

He stood in front of me, forcing me to see his handsome face. "Are you upset?"

"No," I lied, turning away from him.

"You are upset. Why?"

"Because I didn't see you all day after Math class yesterday, and then all of today. I didn't know where you were."

"Emma Warren, were you worried about me?" The small smile that crept up to his lips made my insides flip, but I tried to control my face, so I was still glaring at him. I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Next time could you text me?" I asked. "I thought you could have died or something."

He nodded. "I am alive and well. Sorry for making you worry. I truly apologize, Emma. Would you like a ride?"

"No, I have one," I said, lifting up my chin in defiance.

"You have one?" He looked around as if he would see the person I was riding with.

Where is Ash?

"Yep," I answered with a smile.

"Who?" he asked.

"Well, Mary is picking me up; she took the afternoon off to take me shopping," I said, letting a smile escape. I was looking forward to finding a dress.

"Shopping? Sounds fun—" he said, then paused. "My sister loved trying on dresses."

"How old is your sister?" I asked, forgetting I was irritated with him.

"She'd be about seventeen, now," he said, moving his black hair from his eyes.

"Well, I am sure she understands how exciting it is to go dress shopping for homecoming."

Shad's eyes grew wide and his mouth opened partly.

"What's wrong?" I asked as his face changed to some sort of amazed look and a smile.

"So, you really will go with me?" he asked as if it was some sort of miracle.

I was the one who should have been shocked. He was the real catch there.

"Yes, I said I would."

He grabbed me by the waist and spun me around.

I giggled and squealed in surprise, wrapping my arms around his neck. I loved being so close to him. My face was only a few inches from his.

"This is wonderful. I am so very much looking forward to escorting you to the Homecoming dance, Emma." He put me down with a wide grin.

"You have a funny way of talking, sometimes," I said, giving him a playful smirk.

"I do?" he asked, surprised, removing his hands from my waist and moving some hair from his eyes.

"Yes, so proper and formal. I like it a lot."

"I guess, I am glad you approve," he beamed. "I will see you tomorrow?"

"I don't know. Will you be coming to school?" I asked, stepping back a few steps.

"I will be here. Have fun Emma," he added. Then he turned and walked to his car. Mary pulled up soon after Shad started his car; she giggled as she got out and gave me the biggest hug.

"I am so excited. I really need a girl's day—with my girl! Where is Ash?"

My phone beeped. Hopefully, it was Ash. I checked and sure enough it was.

"She just texted. She will be here soon," I said, putting my phone back in my pocket.

Ash, soon, came running from the school with a huge smile on her face.

"I am so excited! Thanks for letting me come."

"Of course," I said, happy that she was with us.