14. Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

R egardless of my lack of a social life, I had gotten through another one of my parents' boxes in the attic. I found another letter and was saving it until later. Their letters always seemed to pull too heavy on my emotions. The box I went through was full of baby things that were mine. There were post-it notes attached to different items of clothing, indicating when and where I had worn the clothing and how old I was when wearing it. It was fun to go through my baby clothes and see what I wore at my first Christmas and other holidays. I sat back against the box and held up a little lavender baby romper with a tag on it, noting: "First Birthday." I smiled and felt the fabric. It reminded me of the lavender rose, the one Shad had given to me.

I made my way from the attic to the living room. Mary was working late that night at the flower shop, and I had the house to myself. I checked the digital clock on the mantel as I made my way to my room. That digital clock was a new addition after my parent's death. Mary had removed all the face clocks from the house, as we learned during those first weeks after the loss, that they were a trigger for me. She purchased all new digital clocks. The watch my father had been wearing the night he died had been stored away so I would never have to see it again.

I got ready to take a shower, moving about my room then making my way into the bathroom. I pulled off my clothes, turned on the hot water, and got in. Once I was finished, I wrapped a towel around me and wiped the fogged up mirror. That's when I noticed that the rose I had taped to the wall had been removed. The tape was cut into two pieces making an X, and the rose was gone. I looked at the counter, and sitting by the sink was a face watch.

I began to shake.

No.

I jumped back with a scream, as if it would attack me, and I stared at the minute hand as it ticked, looking at the blood stains on the leather and the face glass. I shuffled out of the bathroom and fell onto my bed. I pulled the covers over my head and tried to breathe. I knew it was all in my head. It had to be. The watch was not there. Mary promised she would keep it away until I was ready to have it. Memories again came to life.

My dad—"I'm so sorry" his choked words—his dead, open eyes—the dripping of blood—I tried to focus my breathing and tried to stay calm. I climbed off the bed and quickly and carelessly pulled on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, because I realized that I was still naked, with only a towel around me.

I gulped in air and walked to the edge of the room.

"It's not there. It's not there—you are okay," I said out loud between heavy breaths. I closed my eyes, took one last huge breath and turned the corner, looked down at the bathroom counter and screamed.

It was there.

I screamed over and over and over again. My throat hurt and felt raw, but I couldn't stop. I felt my body go limp. It was there— it was still there–my father's bloody watch.

"Emma!" I felt a hand touch my face as a song floated into my soul. I felt a warm breath on my face and a strong body against my own, lifting me up. I opened my eyes. "Emma, are you okay?"

I shook my head, and for a moment, because of his dark features, I thought it was him who held me, the man from my nightmares. When I realized it wasn't, I was puzzled to see Shad.

How did he know I wasn't okay? Why is he here? Did I scream so loud that he heard me from across the street? I didn't care, and I pulled closer to him, his arms wrapping tighter around me as I pulled his shirt into my hands, clutching the fabric as if–had I let go of it—I would have died. I was shaking and sobbing, but he held me. He held me tight so I was cradled in his arms as he stood there. I realized that I must have been on the bathroom floor when he discovered me.

"Take me out of here. Please, I cannot be in here," I begged, pulling his shirt in my hands tighter, pleading with his beautiful, golden eyes.

"Of course," he said, leaving the bathroom and even closing the door behind us, somehow. "What happened? What is going on? Did you have a nightmare, Emma?" Shad, himself, looked terribly frightened and worried as he carried me into my room.

"The watch, his watch—it's in there, and I didn't put it in there! At the hospital, they gave us the bag of his things, and I told Mary to keep it away, and there it is, and the tape and the rose!" I was nearly screaming in hysterics.

"Emma, Emma, it's okay," Shad said calmly as he carried me to my bed. He tucked the blankets around me, and I could not fight the exhaustion that took over me, and I fell into black nothingness only moments later, dreaming of golden eyes.

When I woke up later, it was dark, but there was someone with me in the room. His song floated around me, keeping me safe, keeping me calm.

Shad.

I sat up.

"Emma, are you okay?" A light turned on, illuminating Shad sitting beside my bed on the floor. He stood up. He looked impossible at that moment—I was looking at something that was made up—because Shad stood there in a t-shirt and basketball shorts. I bit my lip.

"Shad?" I asked, reaching out for him.

"Yes, Emma. It's me. Are you okay?" He grasped my hands in his.

"Are you wearing a t-shirt? I must be dreaming."

He chuckled. "I was about to work out. I can't do that in my usual clothes."

"Oh," I said, realizing I had no idea how I looked, and I started touching my hair.

He pulled my hands away from my head and smiled. "You are so pretty, Emma," he said with a soft smile, making me feel as if it didn't matter how my hair appeared.

"Yes, I am sure I look great right now," I said, rolling my eyes.

"You look sleepy and adorable."

I tried to tame the flutters inside me that wanted to be free with his words. "Is it still there?"

"The watch? No, I moved it. I will give it to your aunt when she gets here."

"You don't have to stay. Just let me know where it is, and I will let her know."

"I don't mind staying with you," he said after telling me where he hid it.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"It's after midnight."

"Oh, my gosh," I said, standing up.

Shad pushed me back down.

"Lay down. You passed out. You need rest, Emma."

"Thank you for not calling 911," I said.

"I almost did, but I remembered Ryker telling me that you go into shock, sometimes, and all you need is sleep."

"Ryker told you that?" My eyes widened.

"Yes, he cares a lot about you—"

I heard the door unlock, and Mary called down the hall.

"Maybe you should just go. I don't know if I have the energy to explain why you are here," I whispered. He looked to my closed door, running a hand through his hair, then nodded.

"Are you sure? I can tell her—"

"No, it's fine, really. Thank you. I will be okay."

"Okay," Shad said with a worried look.

"She will just ask me a million questions; I am not ashamed of you or anything, but she has been acting less enthusiastic lately about new people, so I don't think right now would be a good time."

He nodded. "We'll talk later?" He asked.

"Yes, and thank you so much Shad, truly—"

"Emma?" I heard Mary's voice, getting closer to my room.

"Mary?" I answered back and looked at the door as it opened. I quickly looked back to where Shad was standing a moment earlier. He was gone. Where did he go? I looked around the room; I noticed that my window was open with the curtain moving in a slight breeze.

Did he—did he just—jump out of my second floor window? Fey! Oh, shut up, Emma. I told myself. It seemed I just would not let the fantastical idea die.

"Are you okay?" Mary spoke as she walked beside my bed. "Shad called and told me that you weren't feeling well. I didn't get the message until fifteen minutes ago. My phone was on silent, and I had so much to do before tomorrow."

"I am fine, but I found dad's watch. If you could get rid of it for me–" I told her.

"How did you find it? I had it well hidden in my room."

"It was on the counter in my bathroom. Shad put it in the kitchen in the silverware drawer. Please, keep it away from me."

"I am so sorry, Emma. Of course, sweetheart." I felt her hand clasp mine and then I found sleep.

"Something is going on, Ryker," I said, two days later. Ryker had taken the watch from Mary. He said he got rid of it, and I would never see it again. I thanked him endlessly for that, but still, I didn't feel safe. Ryker assured me that it must have been me misplacing it, but I knew something else was going on. Mary had stashed it somewhere, and there was no way either of us had moved it, knowing how it affected me to see it. I was honestly annoyed that Ryker did not seem to be taking it seriously–especially if he thought my parents had been murdered and that their murderer had kept me alive for some reason. Perhaps, that man was coming for me. But for what? What could anyone want with me? A sixteen year old girl? Still, the feelings in my gut told me something was wrong. No matter how hard I tried to ignore those feelings, they persisted.

"Emma, this isn't this murderer's style," Ryker said as we walked home from school on the only day he didn't have to stay after school for practice.

"Style? Seriously? They are insane . I don't think they have a style ."

He pulled me to him on the sidewalk as a car zoomed past. "Emma, you are safe. I promise. Please don't worry about it so much, I will take care of it." I looked up into his cold blue eyes—they were not comforting.

"How can I not worry? You are just a kid like me. This is bigger than either of us! We have to go to the police or something. You are so busy all the time; I barely see you, and you are my best friend, and I need my best friend right now."

"I feel horrible that I wasn't the one who helped you that night," Ryker sighed.

I thought back to Shad, and falling apart in his arms, him carrying me off to my bed and watching over me—and my heart fluttered.

"Shad was there. I was fine once he got there."

He snorted and let me go, walking away. "Look, the intel I have on this guy is really good. I have to get some more people working on it. I am so close, but if he were near here at all, I would know; the intel would know." He stopped walking, turning around to meet my gaze. "Emma, just trust me. I will never let anything happen to you again."

I nodded because I didn't know what else to do. I walked to him, and we were silent for a few minutes as we walked. I couldn't help but look over at Ryker as he walked beside me, noticing that he was so different from Shad. Ryker's hair was the color of sunshine; his eyes were a cold ocean blue-gray, and he wore a baseball cap, with jeans and a t-shirt.

Shad was such a stark contrast to him. Shad was there for me when I needed him. Ryker was, too, at the beginning, when I first lost my parents, and I would never forget that. But, I still needed someone, and Shad had been with me, saved me from the horror of my memories. He had asked me if I was okay. I told him I would get better with time, and he seemed to understand. He held my hand and touched my shoulder when we were together, as if he knew all I needed was his electric touch, and that with his touch I could survive, I would be okay. Which was true. If Shad never left my side, I would always be okay—forever.