34. Ben

BEN

Remy and I weren't the only alphas in Haven + Nest, but we were definitely the only ones squabbling this much.

"Not that one," Remy said instantly before my hand even touched the mattress.

I'm surprised smoke didn't puff out of my nostrils. "Why the fuck not?"

Remy pointed at the tiny asterisk on the price tag that read preorder for November delivery.

I debated punching that smarmy grin off his face.

"Whatever, let's keep looking for one that we can get today," I muttered, turning my back on him.

Without Hazel as a buffer between us we were back to our baser instincts. I hadn't contested another alpha before but I was pretty sure there was meant to be a winner. One submitting and the other rising as more dominant.

What the fuck happened when Remy and I met, then?

It was very hard to maintain a decent level of annoyance with someone when testing mattresses. Remy and I lay on the opposite edges of one together, as far away from each other as possible, bouncing our bodies angrily and feeling stupid.

"This one," I said shortly. "It's probably the closest to the one I have at home and she sleeps well in that one."

Remy pointed at the previous one we tried. "That feels like her Sierra nest one and we don't sleep in that one."

My god I would love to find out if a whole mattress could fit up someone's ass.

"We can fuck on any surface," I hissed at him. "She needs to sleep well in this one."

He rolled his eyes and I stalked off towards the pillows.

"So…you only realised you were an alpha recently?"

We were both holding plastic wrapped pillows, the crinkling sound distracting as we squashed them in our arms.

"Mmhm," I replied. Remy was testing me again. Little strikes against my armour.

Remy discarded a back sleeper pillow and picked up a high profile one. "Come on, seriously?"

"Why would I lie?" I held up my own pillow, also high profile. "This one," I shot back. "It's the fluffiest."

"Yeah," Remy agreed grudgingly. "Eight?"

"At least."

The wall of quilts and duvets stretched the entire length of the back of the store. Remy and I stood in front of it, staring at all the testers and accompanying charts explaining down to feather ratio and pros and cons of cotton, wool and polyester.

"Fuck," Remy swore under his breath.

I pointed at the far end. "Start there. I'll go from the other end and meet you in the middle. Pick which one you think is best from your half and we'll decide between our two."

It felt like a pistol duel. At dawn. With our imaginary seconds watching on as we strode our 10 yards.

Except we were going to compare duvets instead of shooting each other.

We met in the middle with very similar options.

"Did you just pick the most expensive one?" I asked him suspiciously.

"Yup. You?"

I couldn't lie. "Yeah."

"Great, we'll get both then."

The lighting section was blinding, with all the display lights switched on for demonstration purposes. We silently vetoed anything except the extravagant built in canopy options.

"So you've known about me for a while, I guess," Remy said, inspecting a dimmer switch.

"Yes. Since after Hazel's heat," I replied without looking at him. I tugged robotically on two different ropes, watching how each canopy bloomed outward. "You were too rough with her, by the way."

Remy's hackles rose. "Heat services pulled me up on that. I don't need you to tell me as well."

"I can tell you you were too rough with my omega any day of the fucking week, Remy," I retorted tersely.

He refused to stand down. "I'd like to see you tend to her heat and try not to bond her."

I glanced at the rope in my hand, wondering if Hazel would mind if I strangled him a tiny bit with it. Instead, I yanked hard on it and the sheer canopy above me opened like a spring flower, oblivious to our sparring. "This one."

"We can't get it installed today."

"Obviously. But we're not sleeping in it so we can wait for it to be delivered. Or do you want to go back to floor lamps?"

"Yeah, no."

That's what I fucking thought.

We made it to the section we were dreading — the quilt cover sets. Matching throws and accessories. Thousands of colours, patterns and textures. It would require a lot of thought about things we knew nothing about. And hell to pay if we got it wrong.

I picked up a gingham printed set and immediately set it back down. Hazel's teasing voice rang in my head. Ben, you brought me a picnic rug instead of nesting materials.

"Have you not told her how you feel about her because you're afraid of scaring her off or do you actually not know how you feel?"

Remy's hand froze, outstretched towards some decorative pillows.

Oh for Christ's sake.

"I swear, Remy, if it's the second one—"

"It's neither, ok?" he snapped.

I wasn't going to let this slide. "Then what is it?"

"My mother is trapped in a bond with my father. It was never something I looked at and thought ‘hey, one day I'd like to have that'," Remy said quietly.

I absentmindedly wondered if Hazel knew she was collecting a misfit pack filled with parental issues. Or maybe somehow she did, knowing we would need a family with each other. "When you think about bonding her, are you thinking about how you can keep her under your thumb?"

He looked outraged. "No! Of course not."

"Then what?"

Remy's face grew wistful, distant. "She feels like…what I'm meant to shape the rest of my life around."

My body relaxed.

"I didn't expect her, you know," he continued, almost stoic. "I didn't expect to ever feel this way about someone."

That was certainly relatable. "I don't think any of us did, Remy. Including her." I picked up an olive green sheet set with some sort of shiny finish that the label promised was very luxurious. "This one."

Remy had a quilt cover in his hands in a slightly different shade of green. "Think it can go with this one? It's a little mismatched but—"

"No, they work though." I nodded my approval. "I think she'll like it."

The lady checking us out abandoned her attempt at small talk quite quickly once she figured out neither of us were in the mood for it.

"I'll get this," Remy said, pushing in front of me slightly.

I held my ground, refusing to let him shove me aside. "You already know we're splitting it," I gritted out.

One of us was going to be prime of our pack eventually.

Remy was just taking a little longer to realise it was going to be me.

We returned to the apartment to find Aleks' hand down Hazel's pants as a string of expletives fell from his lips.

"Fuck you needed this, didn't you? How long were you sitting here soaked for?"

They were both still fully clothed despite our absence for a good couple of hours.

In all honesty, I was pleasantly surprised by Aleks' restraint considering Hazel was injured. Putting his omega's wellbeing ahead of his dick? If that didn't make him a shoo-in as a packmate I didn't know what did.

"Is she close?" I asked breezily.

They both jumped. "Ben," Hazel pouted. "I only just convinced him I was allowed to have an orgasm."

Remy was right behind me. "The mattress guys aren't far away in their truck so I would work quickly," he told Aleks gamely.

"This is…so weird," Aleks muttered under his breath.

I looked at Hazel. "You want to come?"

She nodded enthusiastically.

Well, we could all remedy that easily.

"Remy," I said sharply.

We both dropped what we were holding and converged on her. Remy slid in on Hazel's other side, trapping her between him and Aleks.

"She likes it when you grab her throat," Remy advised, right before he pulled her cropped bra top down on one side and sucked her taut nipple into his mouth.

"F-fuck. Oh my god." Hazel's hand flew into Remy's hair, the dark strands twisting in her clenched fingers.

I gave Aleks an assist, dragging her leggings off her long limbs. She squirmed, gripping Aleks' wrist with both hands as his fingers pushed back inside her. Her back arched and I bracketed my hand around her neck. Hazel whined as I leaned closer. I scent marked her and tightened my grip on the sides of her throat.

"Come for us, Hazel," I purred. "All of us."

The detonation of her scent almost brought me to my knees. A summer midnight moon, linen sheets and lowered inhibitions. Four writhing bodies, one pack. I covered her mouth with mine, swallowing her jagged breaths.

I caressed her cheek with the backs of my fingers. "Go have a cuddle with Aleks in his room. We'll come grab you when we're done so you can arrange it exactly the way you like. How does that sound, sweetness?"

Hazel's eyelids fluttered. "Uh huh," she mumbled.

I ignored the fact that I was hard as a fucking rock as Remy and I got back to work. Everything was brought upstairs and I supervised the mattress delivery, paying extra to have the old one taken away. Clean slate. Only then did I let Remy into the room where he couldn"t see what Hazel trusted me with.

I kept reminding myself that I was making it better. That she wouldn't sleep another second like this.

I needed to understand exactly why. I felt compelled to unravel the tangle on her soul. It had to be slow. Careful. Pulling the strands wide to see how they criss-crossed and following the threads home.

Hoping I wouldn't pull so hard it snapped.