11. The Godless

The Godless

We hit the ground twice, rolling and flying through the air before we land in a crater of pumice and brimstone and my demon never once loosens his grip on me.

I expect him to tell me he told me so.

He doesn't.

"I'm sorry I left you." I clutch him tightly so he can't toss me away, into the pits of the toiling dead, but he holds me tighter, too.

"You had to." He pulls me up his body, holding me up so he can meet my eyes. "You didn't belong here before."

"Do I now?"

"Yes." He looks past me and lets me turn to look up at the sky.

The once red clouds are struck through with what looks like lightning, except it isn't gone in a flash.

What I've done has left cracks in the veil that separates heaven and hell.

"They'll close themselves up soon," he says, "but no one's done that since Lucifer fell."

I look at the halo in my hand. "I was never going to get to heaven on my own."

"No one ever does." He pulls me to him with gentle fingers and kisses me.

"What now?" I ask, tears still welling in my eyes.

He wipes away the tears that fall. "Now you have to return what you took and we both have to beg forgiveness for our sins."

He doesn't release me as his wings and tail push him to standing, and I melt into his arms as he carries me back across the burning wastes.

Vulture demons circle overhead and tortured souls try to climb out of their pits up to us.

Both scream for him to give me to them. To play… or flay… or even just to gnaw on.

He doesn't acknowledge them.

He doesn't take me back to the vault either. He flies us—in little hopping bursts, climbing up the side of the cathedral—to the Devil's throne room.

A purple dress, similar to the one Skye picked out, falls down my body before he sets me on my own two feet again.

Unlike heaven, there are people here.

The two women I saw dancing.

They're stained like me. I don't have to guess what they are to the creatures with them.

The one painted gold sits beside an angel—one with black wings, cloaked in gold to hide their many eyes. And the woman whispering in Lucifer's ear is as red as a cartoon devil.

"You should have gone home months ago, Iona." The Devil's goat-like muzzle twitches. "I did not expect the Nameless to hide a mortal from me. Nor did I expect that he would give you the means and opportunity to steal what is mine."

He looks up at my demon. "How long have you guarded my halo?"

"From the day it broke, when you fell."

The Devil's gaze returns to me. "And he betrayed me, for you."

The red woman next to him snorts. "Stop pretending like you're going to punish either of them. She broke heaven. That's worth losing your halo for three days."

Three days.

I don't know why knowing how long it took to climb the staircase makes my exhausted limbs heavier.

My demon leans close and whispers, "Keres is the Devil's dame, and Zuriel belongs to her sister, Thea."

"What was so important that you were willing to defy hell itself?" the Devil asks, coming down from his throne to glare at me.

There's no reason to lie anymore. "I came to steal your halo and exchange it for a miracle."

"God doesn't perform miracles," the Devil looks down at me with eyes full of pupils.

I shrink back against my demon.

"Humans do." He laughs—just a barked breath of a sound—and then glances at the red woman behind him. "It's funny how easily your kind can forget that."

"I killed her," I say. "God is dead."

Thea and Keres' eyes go wide, but the other two don't look surprised.

"Welcome to the ranks of a very few." The Devil inspects me for a long moment before returning to his throne and his dame moves to his lap. "She won't stay dead. You can kill God, but she always comes back."

"Sometimes, I think she created weeds in her own image." Zuriel says with contempt.

Thea reaches up, her golden hand disappearing into her angel's shroud…

"Why was heaven empty? There were angels, but no… no humans."

The two of them share a glance and for once, the Devil looks uncomfortable.

Zuriel wraps his arms around Thea, as if he expects her to act on what he is about to say. "Because God hates your kind."

"I don't believe that." I can't… can I?

The angel tips his head to the side. "You don't have to."

"Your sister," Keres asks. "What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know. No one does. That's why I needed a miracle."

"That's why you performed a miracle." Thea says.

"I failed."

Thea looks at me like my mother used to, and gently says, "Traversing hell, climbing the stairway to heaven, killing God. You performed multiple miracles trying to save her."

"And none of them will." If my demon didn't have a hold on me, that admission might have dropped me to my knees.

"She is not a sinner." The Devil traces a scarred name on his Dame's thigh. "I cannot bring her here. But, if she dances next year, you can keep her here."

Would life in hell be better than hell on Earth?

"Will she last that long?"

The Devil dips his head. "Yes. Your sister is sick, but she is not dying."

"God won't retaliate?"

"It will take her time to regain her strength. She has to pull all of her power back into herself… and she has to find it to do that."

I take a deep breath and it feels like the first time my lungs have been full in three days. "Okay."

The four of them relax, as if everything is settled, but…

"What now?" I ask.

"You made your choice. You're damned, now and forever," the Devil says.

"I understand." I raise my hand and hold out the halo to him, looking at the place where it burned my hand.

But it's my demon who takes it.

"Your eternal punishment will be guarding it," the Devil says. "I'm sure the two of you will be able to manage it together without any more trouble."

Arm wrapped around my waist, my demon leads me away from them, he turns me to him, twirling…

"Are we dancing?"

"Yes."

My feet off the floor, he spins us along the Devil's hallways.

"You let me take it," I say, and he hums in agreement, kissing me, but I refuse to be distracted. "Why did you let me go?"

"Because you had to go."

His dark eyes search mine and I know he knows that answer isn't good enough when he stops beside one of the many balconies and sets me on the rail, even though he still holds me close.

Looking out over hell, his gaze stops on the stairway. "If you hadn't gone, you would have spent eternity trying."

"What if I hadn't come back?"

He smiles down at me with sharp teeth. "I had faith."

He lifts me up and carries me down the uneven stairs.

"There are months between now and the next Devil's Dance." He pauses beside the plinth until I've placed the halo where it belongs. "I plan to spend that time teaching you."

"Teaching me how to guard the halo?"

He shakes his head and dips his head to nip at my lip. "Teaching you how to be loved."