Chapter Sixteen

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

BEAU

R omancing Trevor is easy. Every time I make him smile, make him blush, I know this is where he belongs. With me. But sometimes that reservation lingers, like when we were still playing pretend. As if maybe he thinks he’s not worth every ounce of my love.

I can only pray that time will help me solve that particular problem. He settles into my house like he’s always been there. Maybe there’s always been a Trevor-shaped hole in my life.

We spend my next day off wandering aimlessly around town. I show Trevor my preferred Publix, buy him some foods that he likes to keep in the house. We grab Pub Subs and eat them on the tailgate of my truck with our legs dangling over the edge. The smile he aims at me over such a simple activity is enough to send my heart into overdrive. I want to make him smile like that for the rest of my life. Even after.

This whole taking-it-slow thing is my decision, and for a good reason. Sleeping at night with him in the other room is nearly a form of torture. Sometimes I hear him get up at night to use the bathroom, his feet softly padding down the hall. Might be my imagination, but sometimes I think he pauses outside my room. I almost wish he’d just stroll right in, climb into my bed, and collapse into my waiting arms.

But he doesn’t.

Because Trevor respects my wish, endearing him to me even further.

I haven’t dated much in my life, always too busy with the farm. I used to think maybe there was something wrong with me because I didn’t mind being single. But now maybe I was just waiting for Trevor to come along. Fate, destiny, I’m not sure what to call it. How can I explain how easily he slotted into my life like he was always made to be there?

Friday night after a long week has me dragging my feet towards the house. Trevor’s waiting on the back porch for me, with a solitary beer in the loose grip of his fingers.

“Hey,” Trevor calls out once he catches sight of me.

Tightness around his lips alerts me to the fact that I was right. Something’s been going on.

I take the offered beer from him, but don’t drink even a sip. Instead, I set it on the porch railing. Tucking my fingers into his belt loops, I tug him closer, until his face is just a few inches from mine.

“It’s been a long week, sweetheart. You gonna tell me what’s on your mind finally?”

Trevor lets out a weary sigh. “My parents… sometimes they ask me to come visit them. It’s like they know when everything is good in my life, and they reach out.” Trevor blows an annoyed raspberry. “Like they have radar for when I’m happy.”

“They want you to come visit?”

“Yeah.” Trevor scrubs an angry hand over his face, agitation clear through his jerky movement. I loop my fingers around his wrist and tug his hand to my chest, letting it rest over my heart. He tightens his fingers in my shirt, face thoughtful. “They ask me for money too sometimes. Usually, I give it to them.”

“What worries you the most?”

A worry line appears on his forehead as he squints up at me in thought. The fear and trepidation pours off him, making me feel absolutely awful that I can’t instantly solve this for him. Something inside me tells me this will be a permanent issue moving forward. So, I’ve got to say the right things now to lessen his worries about coming to me in the future.

“If they find out I’m with you and that your family has money… I don’t know. I just worry about the power they can wield over me.”

“They’ve got no power over you now, not when you’re here with me. You know that, right?”

Trevor turns his head to the side to look out at the yard. When his gaze swings back to me, tears line his eyes. I watch on helplessly as he fights to blink them away, to hold it all in. My heart breaks for him.

“My father leaves me voicemails,” Trevor admits calmly. His tone is very matter of fact, but I know Trevor by now. Hurt and anxiety radiate off of him in large, terrifying waves.

“You got one I can hear?”

Trevor nods tightly, then pulls out his phone with a trembling hand. He presses buttons on his phone screen, before finding the most recent voicemail at the top. Pressing play, he hands me the phone, still not able to meet my gaze.

“Levi,” the gruff male voice comes through the phone. “Listen, we keep calling and you don’t respond. I need money in my account and so does your mother. We do the jobs they ask but we get paid pennies. If you won’t give me money, then at least send some to your mother. The place she’s in is a hellhole… they have her working in the yard for God's sake. I’m afraid she’ll do something stupid if we can’t take care of her. You get me, son? Come on. Be good and send us each some money. You could go visit your mother too, you know. Anyway. I’ll keep an eye out for the money.”

Not even an I love you to spare. Rage overwhelms me for a second, that someone would even have a kid and then treat them this way astounds me.

“What do you want to do, Trevor?”

He angrily wipes a tear away from his cheek. “I want to not hear from them ever again. I change my phone number, and somehow, he gets it. I don’t know what to do. It’s so…” Trevor breaks off with an enraged sound. He clenches his fist tight for a second, then shakes it out as if he hurt himself.

Not wanting him to hurt himself, I gently tangle our fingers together, breathing a sigh of relief when he tightly squeezes my fingers. “Trevor, if you don’t want to hear from them again, we can make that happen.”

His nose scrunches up as he visibly wills himself to not cry. Realizing now isn’t the time for fruitless words, I tug him into my arms to comfort him with my touch instead. He slumps against me in utter relief, breaths sharp as he fights against the urge to cry. My sweet Trevor. The cool air whips around us in a gentle breeze, blowing Trevor’s hair into my face. I bury my nose into his hair and inhale the comforting scent of him.

After a bit, he seemingly gathers himself, tipping his head back enough to shyly gaze up at me. I swipe my thumb under his eyes to catch the lingering tears on his splotchy-from-crying skin.

“It’s alright, sweetheart.”

He hiccups a little. “You promise?”

I nod, because this I can guarantee. “It’s okay now.”

Trevor blows out a relieved breath at my reassuring words. “I trust you.”

“Here’s what we’re gonna do.” I press a hard kiss to his temple. “I’ve got a cousin that’s a cop. I’ll get with him to figure out how to get you a totally private number. One that they can’t find. How’s that sound?”

Trevor sharply narrows his eyes. “Is everyone here your cousin?”

“In some way or another, probably.” I press another kiss to his temple, this one lingering. “Now, it’s been a long week. Tomorrow night’s movie night at the farm. You gonna be my date?”

“Depends on the movie.”

“You’ll like it. I promise.”

Trevor laughs softly. “Okay.”

“Okay.” When I tug him inside the house for the evening, he comes easily.

Dinner is an easy stir-fry on the stovetop. We cut vegetables side by side as music softly floats from my phone. Trevor set up some playlist where we can both add songs we like to it, so it’s mostly old-school country and songs that sound like they belong in an eighties cyberpunk movie. Oddly, the songs kind of blend together. Much like Trevor and me.

After dinner, Trevor cleans up the kitchen, while I start a load of our laundry. The easy domesticity of our life together reaffirms that Trevor belongs here with me. Never has someone's presence been such a blessing, so easy, so comforting. In the middle of dropping our mixed laundry into the washer, I realize that for the first time loneliness isn’t eating away at the edges of my life.

I’m not lonely when I’m with Trevor.

“Okay?” Trevor asks from the laundry room doorway.

I drop the rest of the clothes into the machine and press start before turning to face him. His eyes flick over my face, searching for signs of what's on my mind.

“I was so lonely before you,” I admit before I can stop myself.

Trevor smiles, soft and slow. “Not anymore though.”

“Not anymore.”

“We should do a double date with Colby and Eli,” Trevor announces, apropos of nothing.

He follows me down the hall towards my bedroom. “Works for me.”

“Eli knows I was a fake boyfriend for you.”

Turning around, Trevor stops just short of running into me with a surprised sound. My hands land on his hips, holding him still so that he can feel the lack of tension in my body. So he can know there’s no danger here, not with me.

“Colby knows already,” I tell him.

Trevor releases a relieved sigh, shoulders relaxing. “Good.”

“I wasn’t planning on telling anyone else. Is that okay?”

He waves his hand dismissively. “Totally. I just didn’t want you to be taken by surprise if Eli blurted it out. Sometimes his mouth-to-brain filter doesn’t work.”

“Are you fine with Colby knowing?”

“Sure.” Trevor presses a little closer. “As long as you’re fine.”

“I’m fine,” I murmur just before giving Trevor a slow, sweet kiss. When I pull away, Trevor’s eyes are closed, and a blissful smile tilts his lips up.

“Are you always going to kiss me when I’m riled up?”

With a chuckle, I twirl a piece of his hair around my finger, tugging gently. “Only when you need it most. Did it work?”

“Surprisingly.”

“Good.”

“Can I sleep with you yet? No funny stuff, just sleeping.”

I run my fingers through his hair, detangling the knots, then cup the nape of his neck in my palms. His skin is searing hot against mine, seeping into me to warm me from the outside in. Pressing a kiss to his cheek, his stubble rough against my lips, I nod slowly.

“Alright, sweetheart.”

“Made your heart skip a beat?”

“You made it skip two.”

“What does that earn me?”

Humming in thought, I rain kisses across his face, smiling when he laughs at my antics. “You can be the big spoon.”

“A true reward,” Trevor murmurs happily, a sweet smirk on his lips.

Falling asleep with Trevor pressed tight to my back is enough to convince me that maybe he should be the big spoon more often.

Saturdays are restful for most people. Never have been for me. The farm is in between seasons for U-pick, since strawberries and blueberries are in the spring, but the fall festival starts early in Florida. Kids run around the farm in our play area, their joyful shouts following me as I do my best to work around them.

A frantic Joey hanging out of the food truck window waves me over, so I carefully steer through the crowd towards him. Pumpkins lie scattered around now that the patch is in full swing at the farm. I watch as a little kid tries to pick up one that’s too heavy, his father rushing to stop him. A small smile tugs at my lips as the father carefully takes the pumpkin from the overly excited boy.

“I’ve got to close up. We’re out of everything,” Joey says in a frenzied rush once I reach the food truck.

Crap. It’ll have to be fine.

“That’s fine. You’ve been open for a few hours. The girls are still serving smoothies.”

Joey hangs out the window to glance to his left. He chuckles as he looks at the forming line at the smoothie cart. The smoothies use fruit right from the farm, blueberries, strawberries, peaches, anything we grow that can be put into a blender. Not sunflowers though. Although I tried once as a kid, and it went over awfully.

A family with a few young kids grabs smoothies, then wanders off at a leisurely pace towards the pumpkins. My heart does a little skip at the sight of them, and my mind immediately wanders to Trevor. He’s hanging out with Eli today, doing something that I have no clue about. Which is just fine with me. I want him to be comfortable here, feel like he’s at home. Not feeling like he always has to count on me. Although, I do like him counting on me, needing me.

“I’m closing up, then. You staying for the movie tonight?” Joey asks as he hops out of the truck, apron flapping in the breeze. He tugs the bandana off his head, letting his sweaty curls flop onto his forehead.

“Yeah,” I say. “Trevor’s joining me soon.”

“Nice.” Joey’s eyes flick behind me for a brief second. Just long enough for me to trace his gaze back to Lee talking with a few parents at the edge of the property. Things between them have been odd lately, I wish one of them would open up to me about it.

“All good, Joe?”

He grunts in affirmation, then slaps my arm. “I’m going to go home, clean up, then I’ll come back for movie night. Give Trevor a good, Clay Springs welcome.”

“Thanks, buddy,” I call out as he walks towards the employee parking lot. When I look over towards Lee, his gaze is zeroed in on Joey’s back. His expression is sort of pained, but also a bit wistful. I know that look.

Lee’s gaze snaps to mine and immediately averts his gaze when he notices me watching. Interesting. I’m torn from my thoughts because someone needs my help loading pumpkins into their cart. Typical farm Saturday.

By the time the early evening crowd is leaving, before the ticketed attendees arrive for the movie, I’m beat. When my truck rolls down the road, my tired heart wakes back up. Something about seeing Trevor drive my truck feels natural. He hops out, his gaze pinging around the property as he searches for me.

Waving from my position right outside the office, his gaze finally zeroes in on me. The smile that blooms across his face sends dizzying butterflies to flight in my chest. I’m so done for when it comes to him. The other door of the truck opens to reveal an excited Elijah. No sight of Colby though.

“We’re a little early,” Trevor admits sheepishly, as if that’s a problem.

“Good.” I tilt his head up with a finger under his chin to kiss him. “Hi.”

His lips twitch as he fights a smile. “Hi.”

“Oh, you guys are just barf city,” Elijah comments from behind Trevor. “So cute though. Love it.”

“Where’s Colby?” I ask without tearing my gaze from Trevor.

“Work dinner,” Elijah says around an annoyed sigh. “I’m third-wheeling tonight.”

“There will be a lot of people here.” I tangle my fingers with Trevor’s. “You won’t be third-wheeling. Plus, it’s movie night. Those are quieter nights at the farm.”

“Colby sent me with a blanket and those comfortable camping type of chairs,” Elijah replies absentmindedly. He cups a hand over his eyes to look at the farm. “I can’t believe this is my first time at the farm.”

I frown. That can’t be true. “Really?”

“Yeah. We’ve just been busy with other things since I came into town. Colby probably meant to bring me sooner. But you know. Life.”

Trevor snorts and shoves an elbow into Elijah’s ribs. “You mean you haven’t come up for air until now.”

Elijah bites his lip. “That too.”

“Well, since y’all are here early, I can show y’all around.”

“Two y’alls in one statement.” Elijah pretends to fan himself, earning a chuckle from me.

“Show us around,” Trevor demands softly, eyes practically sparkling. It takes every ounce of restraint inside me to not pull him to me and kiss him senseless.

Keeping our fingers tangled together, I guide Elijah and Trevor over to the small pumpkin patch. A few families remain, but the crowd has thinned from earlier. After they’ve had their fill of the pumpkins, I lead them over to where the sunflower fields begin. The sun is still high enough in the sky to shine right on the flowers, so they’re facing the sky, with bees buzzing around.

“God, they go on forever,” Elijah says in complete awe.

“I’d almost forgotten how magical this place can be,” Trevor whispers. I squeeze his fingers, so his gaze swings back to me.

“I’ll remind you.”

A crimson flush paints his cheeks. Trevor dips his head to avoid my gaze, but the happy smile on his lips is enough for me.

“Barf,” Elijah teases, voice full of laughter. He grabs Trevor and drags him into the field of sunflowers, while simultaneously throwing his phone at me. I just narrowly catch it. “Take photos of us!”

Taking photos for people isn’t my greatest gift. It’s definitely more Andy’s job than mine. But I bend my knees like she taught me and try to get the best angle of the beautiful boys out in the field. The sun makes it hard for me to see the screen. Best option is to just hit the capture button as many times as I can which they both seem to appreciate. They go from serious to funny to flirty in the span of seconds.

Elijah runs towards me to grab his phone. He looks through the pictures with a considering look, then smiles up at me. “Good job. Now go out there and take a photo with that gorgeous boy.”

He doesn’t have to tell me twice. I check behind us to make sure we’re alone, save Elijah, then dip Trevor and smother him with a kiss. Trevor laughs against my mouth, and I enthusiastically swallow the taste of his happiness down. The taste of his laugh, of his joy, will always be pure heaven to me. His fingers loosely tangle in my shirt, tugging me closer even as I straighten us back to standing. When I pull away, both of our smiles are dopey. We aim our dazed gazes towards the camera, with our bodies still turned toward one another. Like our bodies are sunflowers searching for the sun, but instead finding one another.

Elijah sends a wink our way. “Those are keepers.”

“What time does everything start?” Trevor asks quietly, eyes searching mine.

“Couple of hours.”

Trevor bites his lip, hard enough to bruise. His gaze flicks down to my mouth for a moment, before meeting my gaze again.

“You make me happy,” Trevor murmurs softly.

I let out a small chuckle. “Same, sweetheart. Wanna know tonight’s movie?”

“I want to know!” Elijah shouts from where he’s tenderly touching the petals of a sunflower.

Trevor chuckles and pinches my bicep. “Well?”

“One of my mama’s favorite fall movies. Practical Magic .”

Elijah practically swoons. “I love that one!”

“That is a good one,” Trevor agrees before sneaking one more kiss.

We spend the next hour or so touring the farm. I shove the two of them into my truck, then take them on a tour of the back property that’s not available to the outsiders. Fields of blueberries, strawberries, sunflowers, peaches, and watermelons roll beside us. Most of the berries are past season, so they’re just plants now, along with the melons. Those are at their best in spring and early summer. Fall is when the farm winds down, instead focusing on events, and preparing the land for the harvest to come the next spring.

But seeing Trevor in the truck beside me, hair blowing in the wind, looking at the land in awe… well, the feelings rustling around inside me are quickly getting a name. He absorbs every ounce of information from me, eager to learn, to know about the farm that’s in my blood. And that his eager attention makes the feelings inside me grow at a scarily rapid rate.

By the time we’re done with the tour, people are starting to arrive early for the movie. I help Trevor and Eli get settled towards the front with the blanket and camping chairs Colby sent along with them. Once they’re all set, Elijah asks for another photo, and I happily oblige. Of course, that’s when Joey finds us.

Joey comes to stand beside me with a teasing smirk. “You’re an Instagram boyfriend now, Beau?”

“Shut up.” But I send a wink his way.

“Hey, guys.” Joey waves at them both with one of his most charming grins. “This is my daughter, Savannah.”

Savannah smiles shyly but waves at everyone. Eli dips down to his knees with a warm grin.

“Nice to meet you.” Elijah holds out his hand. Savannah looks up at Joey in question, when Joey nods, she gently shakes Elijah’s hand. “That’s a strong grip you’ve got there.”

“Thank you,” Savannah says, voice still shy.

“Sit down, angel.”

Folding his long legs to sit, Joey tugs Savannah down to sit beside him. He’s got a band holding his black waves out of his eyes, a white T-shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and weathered jeans. Joey’s always been a go-with-the-flow type of guy, a friend that I can count on. Back when I was entertaining the whole food-truck thing, Joey had basically told me he’d be running the show. No arguing with him either. It just happened.

Families join us on the slight hill where the projector screen is set up. Murmurs of voices float over us as we all settle on the blanket. It’s nice to not have to work an event, to just be able to attend. Leaning back on the blanket, I pull Trevor to me until he’s sitting between my legs, his back to my chest. I wrap an arm around him, tucking my face into his neck.

Trevor’s fingers dance along my arm. “Pretty heavy on the PDA.”

“Wanna be close to you.”

“Yeah?” Trevor asks, sounding just shy of breathless.

I nuzzle behind his ear, inhaling the soft scent of him, the comfort of him. “Always wanna be close to you.”

Trevor hums in agreement, then settles more deeply into my arms. He wiggles a little, until we’re as close as physically possible. I bite at his neck to get him to stop wiggling. His laugh is breathy and his fingers bite into my forearm.

“Hey, Lee,” Joey says, breaking me out of my Trevor-induced reverie.

Lee flushes a little at the sight of Joey, but folds to the ground beside Savannah with a sweet smile.

“Hey, bug.” Lee nudges Savannah with his knee.

Her grin is blinding as she stares up at Lee. “I was named line leader for next week, Uncle Lee!”

“Oh my God, finally! Such a serious job. Are you prepared?”

Savannah nods eagerly, eyes bright. “Mostly. I think I deserve it more than Shelby. She can’t keep anyone on track.”

“You are the best choice.” Lee nods seriously in agreement. “What’s the Halloween plan for this year?”

Sitting up on her knees, she grabs Lee’s face between her palms. “I want to be a werewolf, but Dad won’t let me.”

“Well, I’ll have to wear him down,” Lee says, but his words are muffled by her small hands.

“You want popcorn, Lee?” Joey asks as he stands up, brushing his hands on his jeans.

Lee shakes his head. “I’m good.”

Joey skewers him with a decidedly frustrated look. “Do you want popcorn , Lee.”

“Fine,” Lee grumbles without looking at Joey.

Joey disappears towards the stand where popcorn is sold. Shoulders tense as he walks, his hands are shoved deep into his jean pockets. When I swing my gaze back to Lee, he’s steadfastly ignoring my gaze, and giving Savannah all his attention.

The movie starts before I can ask Lee any leading questions. A few moments later Joey returns with multiple popcorn bags for all of us and a bottle of soda. He hands the soda to Lee without looking at him and takes a handful of popcorn for himself.

Honestly, I don’t focus much on the movie. My mind stays firmly planted on the man tucked against me. Every now and then he turns his head to sweetly kiss my forearm, sending a surge of emotion so strong through me that I’m afraid it’ll topple me over.

Finally, just giving up on the movie, I pay close attention to Trevor’s face. His eyes are such a gorgeous shade of blue, like the color of the springs. A small scar sits at the bottom of his chin, faded with age, but I can tell it was gnarly when he first got it. One single mole rests just below his right ear. My eyes drift over his face to memorize him, memorize this perfect moment. Even though I know he’ll never leave me again, just knowing his face like the back of my own hand feels like an astonishing accomplishment.

“You’re missing the movie,” Trevor points out, tone teasing.

“I’m not missing a thing.”

Trevor turns to look at me, eyes hooded, lips slightly parted. “Yeah?”

“Can I take you home, sweetheart?” I whisper against his ear.

He shivers, the vibration rolling through his entire body. “Beau, the answer to that question is always going to be yes.”

I laugh weakly against his neck. “If we leave now, we’ll have to answer questions.”

“My God, please leave now. You’re making us sick.” Joey throws a handful of popcorn at us. “I’ll drive Elijah home.”

I turn my questioning gaze to Elijah. “That okay?”

Elijah shrugs with a dreamy smile. “You two lovebirds get out of here. Joey will get me home safely or endure Colby’s wrath.”

Joey winces but laughs. “I’ll definitely get you home safely.”

That’s all the permission I need. Standing in one fluid motion, I pull Trevor up with me, guiding him away from the movie. Multiple people try to stop us, but I don’t allow it. I plow right through until we’re at the truck. And I can’t hold myself back any longer. I press him against the cold metal and take his mouth in a savage kiss. He opens for me, letting my tongue into his mouth to taste him.

His fingers bite into my shoulders, tugging me closer, as his lips move against mine.

I tear from his addictive mouth. “Sweetheart.”

He blinks up at me in the dark. “Yeah?”

“Can I have you?” I ask quietly, fingers curling in his hair.

Trevor nods, eyes firmly on me. That’s the only answer I need. I safely tuck him into the truck, even buckling him in, earning me a delighted smile from Trevor. I’ll have to do that more often just to bring that sort of smile out of him. The road is dark on the drive home, but the night wind is soft as it blows through the window. I mostly keep my eyes on the road, but I can’t stop from sneaking looks at him as we drive back home.

Pure happiness radiates from Trevor. The fact that I've made him that way, made him so happy, makes me want to scream with joy. If only I can make him happy for the rest of our lives.

The night is eerily similar to the last time we rushed into the house. When I made love to him. Because that is what happened last time. I was making love to him then, whether either of us could admit it or not. The air is humid, cicadas sing their lullabies, but everything between us is molasses slow. No urgency this time. Tonight isn’t for rushing.

Trevor leans against me as we make our way inside under the cloak of darkness. I flip just one light on when we walk in, keeping the house warm, just bright enough to find our way to the bedroom. We take our shoes off together at the front door. I tangle my fingers with Trevor’s and tug him towards the bedroom behind me.

At the foot of the bed, I kiss his sweet mouth. Tenderly, lovingly, I pour every ounce of what I feel for him into the kiss. His hair is soft between my fingers, like golden strands of pure silk. The night dips into a drowsy sensual haze as I gently shove Trevor onto the bed, then follow his body with my own. Sitting up halfway, I tug his shirt off, then kiss down his chest. His stomach caves in under the gentle glide of my lips on his skin, and he lets out a sigh full of so much want that my head spins.

His hands on my shoulders stop me at the waistband of his jeans. When I look up at him, his eyes are pleading, bright baby blues shine in the dark of the room.

“Take your shirt off too,” Trevor asks breathlessly.

Smirking, I roll to my knees. His gaze travels down my chest, appreciation lighting his gaze. Tossing the shirt to the ground, I run my hands down his sides, squeeze his hips, then tug him closer to me.

“That’s your one request for the night. The rest of tonight is gonna go how I want it to go. You understand?”

Trevor swallows loudly. “How do you want it to go?”

“Well,” I trail off and run my fingers along the golden skin of his stomach. “First, I’m going to suck you until you’re begging me to fuck you. Then I’ll fuck you, in as many positions as you can handle, eating at your mouth the entire time. Only when you can’t handle any more, when you’ve begged sweetly, will I allow you to come.”

“Jesus,” Trevor whispers, eyes dark and stormy. “What about you?”

“Don’t you worry about me, sweetheart. I can go all night as long as I’ve got you on the edge. Tonight is about you.”

“No.” Trevor angrily shakes his head and leans up to get close to my face. “Tonight’s about us.”

I take his face in my palms and devour his mouth. The kiss is rough, just shy of painful, but it unlocks something inside of my heart all the same. Suddenly, the night isn’t going how I thought it would. How I imagined. Trevor fights me for dominance, pushing at me until I fall to my back with my head at the end of the bed. He climbs on top of me, takes my wrists in his tight grip, and holds them over my head.

His chest heaves, his eyes blown wide with burning desire. From this close I can count his dark blond eyelashes, see the flecks of light blue around the edge of his irises. The emotion in his eyes echoes inside of me.

“You gonna be in charge tonight, sweetheart?”

Trevor nods, swallowing so hard that his throat bobs. “Can I?”

“You can have me.”

Despite the inches and pounds of muscle I have on Trevor, he makes me feel small when he leans over me to take my mouth in a syrupy-sweet kiss. Like drinking lemonade in the sunflower fields in the middle of June is how his kiss makes me feel. Free and unworried.

He lets go of my wrists to kiss down my neck, biting at the tender skin there, before slowly kissing down my chest. Tongue dipping around my belly button, I tremble with need beneath him. Bottoming isn’t a frequent occurrence for me, just a handful of times over the years, and every time is ranked pretty low on my list of sexual encounters. Doesn’t mean I don’t like to be fucked. A dildo can go a long way in that department.

My size usually makes me the easy choice to top when it comes to sex. But Trevor doesn’t make me feel that way at all. I might be bigger and broader, but Trevor is just as strong as me. He works hard for his muscles, and he easily makes me feel small, in a way that I never expected to love, maybe even crave.

Once my jeans are unbuckled and halfway down my thighs, he mouths at my clothed cock, soaking my underwear. Jesus. Pleasure simmers low in my gut. Trevor’s going to ruin me and I’m going to be happy about it. Thrilled. Overjoyed. Happy doesn’t cut it.

My jeans fall to the floor of the bedroom in a hush of sound. When I blink back Trevor’s way, he’s struggling out of his jeans, swear words falling from his lips. I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. I like knowing I’ve got him so caught up that he can’t remain composed, that he needs me so badly he’s struggling to get undressed.

He lies back over me, face close enough to kiss, but just out of reach.

“So, first on the list was sucking me until I couldn’t handle it anymore, right?”

I nod and he smiles sweetly down at me. “Yeah.”

“Mmm.” Trevor kisses my eyebrow, making my chest tighten with desire. He rubs his clean-shaven cheek against my own bearded one. “You are so good, Beau. You deserve to be cherished and worshiped. By the time we’re done, you won’t remember your own name, but you’ll remember mine.”

A wicked smirk curls Trevor’s lips up as he slowly crawls down my body. He kisses just under my belly button before sliding my underwear off without an ounce of fanfare. Before I can even steel myself for what’s to come next, he takes my cock all the way to the back of his throat, choking on it, and aiming those cerulean eyes at me.

“Fuck,” I mutter around a shocked gasp.

Trevor works his shoulders under my thighs so that my legs are draped over them, heels resting on his lower back. He works me over slowly, covering my cock with his spit, sending sparks of ecstasy dancing down my spine. The edge is already perilously close. My fingers twitch at my sides, aching to grip his hair, forcing him to choke on my cock until tears pour from his eyes.

But he’s steering the ship tonight.

Right when I’m at the edge of bursting, he abruptly pulls off my cock. He smirks up at me, fingers digging painfully into my hips.

“That was one.”

I blink rapidly in confusion until I realize what he’s saying. “How many times should I prepare to be edged?”

Trevor shrugs easily, eyes still on me. “Let’s see how I feel in an hour.”

An hour? He’s going to kill me. He takes me back into the warmth of his mouth, sucking me down, then rolls his tongue around the head of my cock. My body quakes underneath him, thighs trembling, sweat dotting every inch of my flaming skin. I throw my arm over my eyes to block the sight of him out, hoping maybe that’ll help me last. But it was fruitless, because Trevor could suck me off in a dark room and I’d still be at the edge with just one touch of his lips to my cock.

“Please,” I whisper as he pulls off again, leaving my cock angry and weeping.

“Please what?” Trevor asks sweetly.

“I want to come.”

“There’s a difference between want and need, love.”

And then he takes me back into his mouth again. I lose count of how many times we repeat the same process. When he pulls off me again, I almost cry. Tears swim in my eyes. No one has ever edged me before, at least not like this. Not to the point that I feel like I’m going to crawl out of my skin if I don’t come. Just on the edge of pain.

I swallow a cry and toss my forearm back over my eyes.

“Beau,” Trevor whispers softly. He tugs my forearm from my eyes, forcing me to look up into his tender gaze. “You need to come?”

I nod quickly. “Please let me come. I can’t… I can’t do it anymore. It’s too much.”

Trevor nods once in understanding. “You want to come in my mouth? Or with my cock inside you?”

“Are those my only choices?”

Cocking his head to the side, he stares down at me, eyes filled with heat. His fingers affectionately brush the hair on my chest.

“You want something else?”

“I want to come in your mouth, then you fuck me after, use my body.”

Trevor lets out a small rush of air. “Yeah?”

I nod just before Trevor devours my mouth. He tastes like me and him, like us. I close my eyes against the swirl of emotions inside me. The urge to cry is still there, but for different reasons than just seconds ago.

This is the man that came back for me. Even after waiting, he still came back, and he held me in one of the worst, hardest moments of my life. Trusting him to take me apart and put me back together is one of the easiest things I’ll ever do. Because he’ll always put me back together. Just like I have his back, he’s got mine. My Trevor. My Levi. My man.

Trevor pulls away from my mouth and murmurs, “I’ll get you ready while I suck you off, okay?”

Instead of answering with words, I roughly shove Trevor down my body, eliciting the most gorgeous laugh from him. Sex without laughter is miserable. Laughter in the bedroom is a level of honesty that makes it even more pleasurable for me. Always has. And Trevor’s laugh lights me up inside, adding to the quaking need coursing through my veins.

He dives back down on my cock, like a man possessed. I gasp as pleasure rolls through me like a gentle wave. The pleasure ramps up when a lubed finger presses against me for entry. I bear down and an unabashed moan escapes me as his finger slips in past the resistance. By the time he’s got two fingers inside me, I’m beyond sure that my orgasm is going to cause a natural event.

I try to warn him, but words won’t come. All I can do is squeeze my thighs to his head, feeling his hair fall over my sweat-dampened skin, and ride out my orgasm as it takes over. Shivers wrack my entire body as he continues to swallow me down until I’m wrung completely dry. Nothing left inside me. All of it for him.

“Perfect, Beau.” Trevor leans up to kiss the corner of my eye. “Now I’m going to fuck you.”

My body is pleasantly loose as he gently guides me onto my stomach. Instead of positioning me onto my knees, he keeps my chest on the bed, then splays my legs out wide. The position is a little awkward, but I trust Trevor. Kisses rain down on my back as he rubs his bare cock over my hole. A moan rattles through me, just at the idea of him fucking me bare.

“Let me in,” Trevor demands, voice hush quiet in the dark of the room.

A quiet moan leaves me as he slides past the first ring of muscle, giving me just a few moments to adjust before sliding the rest of the way in. His warm breath washes over my neck as he bottoms out. Every few seconds he grinds into me, forcing needy whimpers to fall from my parted lips.

“So good.” Trevor nips at my ear as he grinds his cock deeper into me. Sweat drips from him and down onto my flushed skin, sending a ripple of pleasure down my spine. “You feel so good around my cock. Made for me. You know what your name means? It means handsome. Handsome and beautiful,” Trevor says roughly against my cheek before sweetly gliding his lips over mine in a tease of a kiss. “The most beautiful soul on earth.”

The words light me up inside, infusing me with delicious warmth. Warm with Trevor’s love. Warm with his adoration. He abruptly stills inside me, panting roughly against my neck. A shiver rolls through me at the feel of him so hard inside me, his lips wet against my overheated skin. The weight of his body over me, shielding me from the world, is the most glorious thing I’ve ever felt.

“Fuck. I wanted to last longer but you feel so good.”

“Come inside me,” I beg, voice broken, hallowed out.

Trevor bites my shoulder hard with a pained groan. “Jesus.”

Pushing his forehead against my cheek, Trevor barrels into me. The gentle lovemaking evaporates as he seeks his own pleasure in my lax body. He tangles his fingers with my own, thrusting one final time, trembling over my body while he comes with an almost pained gasp. Emotion overwhelms me at the feel of his cum deep inside me, adding to my already heightened emotional state. For the first time in my life, someone made love to me, to my body, and to my heart.

“Beau,” Trevor says reverently.

“I love you,” I admit, too wrung out to hold the words back.

Trevor gently turns my face on the bed, so he can look deeply into my eyes. His lips quirk up on one side. “I love you too. Have for a long time. Probably since the moment I walked through those airport doors and saw you standing beside the truck. My heart has been yours ever since.”

“You won’t leave me again, right?” I ask, heart tender and bruised.

Trevor sighs softly, dropping his forehead to my cheek. “Never again, I promise. We take care of each other now.”

He pulls slowly out of me, treating me with enough tenderness to make my heart ache. I lie there quietly as he moves around the room, waiting for him to rejoin me at the bed. His hands are exceedingly gentle as he helps me up and guides me to the bathroom. The shower is small, but he somehow makes us both fit. Gently, he washes me under the hot water, placing gentle kisses along the skin he deems kiss-worthy. His fingers work at the muscles of my back until I’m a puddle in his arms. Trevor chuckles against my cheek and murmurs softly, “I’ve got you, Beau.”

I’ve never believed a sentence more. He does have me; in every way a person can have someone.

By the time Trevor’s got us clean, dry, and bundled back in the bed, sleep comes for me like a thief in the night. Quick and easy.