4. Luke

4

luke

“Do you plan on telling me what’s going on, or are you just going to stomp around this place and make life difficult for those who actually work here?”

I glared at Susan. Not that she cared one bit. Susan waited, with her hands on her hips until I closed out the book keeping software I had been fiddling in.

“That’s my business,” I reminded her.

“In name, sure. But I seem to remember you announcing your retirement last year. ‘Susan, there’s no one I trust more than you to run this for me. I’m going to spend time with my grandkids,’” she mocked. “Yet here you are, fiddling and interfering with things that need no such things, and not a grandkid in sight.”

I scoffed. “Miri is way too young to be here.”

“Maybe, which is just another reason for you not to be. But Ro isn’t too young. Besides, you completely missed my point. Go home. Go be with your family, your boyfriend. Be anywhere but here. You’re retired, Luke. Enjoy it.”

I groaned and leaned against the desk. “Sorry. I just have a lot on my mind and didn’t know where else to go. This place was always where I thought the best.”

Susan’s expression softened. “What’s going on Luke? Are you and Joel having troubles?”

Outside of my family, Susan was one of the few people who knew about Joel. It wasn’t that I was ashamed or anything, but it still felt weird to tell people I was with a guy when I’d thought I was straight my whole life. I always got surprised looks and awkward questions, so I just tried to avoid bringing it up.

“No, not really troubles.” Except that I’d been avoiding him for the last three days. I’d ignored all his calls, his messages, his texts. I just didn’t know what to say to him.

“I call bullshit. You don’t have a quiet face. I can see everything you’re thinking.”

I groaned and scrubbed at said not quiet face. “Why do I put up with you again?”

Susan grinned. “Because you love me. And you know I’ll never bullshit you. Tell me what’s really going on?

“Alright, fine, but let’s go into the office. The whole place doesn’t need to hear my issues.”

Susan followed me and took a seat on the edge of the desk, waiting patiently.

When I was done telling her everything, I felt a little better. I had been so up in my head and hadn’t shared it with anyone. Not that I had anyone to share with. I was avoiding Joel, and I couldn’t talk to my kids, not about this.

She chewed on her lip. “Okay, so is the issue that Joel’s dating River’s best friend or that he has another boyfriend in general?”

“That it’s Cam.” Mostly. “I knew he was poly. That was the whole point of going to dinner.”

I wasn’t fooling her though. She rolled her eyes. “Correct me if I’m wrong, because I’ll admit I’m not super familiar with the lifestyle, but no one is asking you to date Cam, right? Really, you don’t have to have a relationship at all, do you?”

I groaned. Of course she was going there. “Well, no. That’s what Joel was saying. But you still don’t think it’s weird? That’s River’s best friend.”

“What does River think about all this?”

I nearly choked. “He doesn’t know. Well, at least I don’t think he does.” I’d imagine that if Cameron had told him, he’d be calling me about it by now.

“Do you want to know what I think?” Susan asked.

“Not really. But I have a feeling you’re going to tell me anyway.”

The woman just smiled sweetly at me. “You know me so well, Luke.”

I just raised my eyebrow and waited for her to tell me her opinion that I knew I wasn’t going to like.

“I think you’re having second thoughts about dating someone who’s poly and you’re using Cam as an excuse to pull away.”

“Damn, woman. You really don’t hold your punches, do you?”

“You wouldn’t be talking to me about this if that was what you really wanted.”

“Ugh. Okay, maybe that’s part of the issue. Though, I am still uncomfortable with Cameron being involved. I may have said something to Joel about him going behind my back and fucking my kid’s best friend. It wasn’t my best moment.”

Susan whistled. “Yeah, no shit. Listen, it’s fine for you to have second thoughts or change your mind. This is a lot. Nobody would blame you for that. What is shitty is twisting it around and making it Joel’s fault when he’s been nothing but open and honest about it from the beginning.”

I scowled. Standing up, I started to pace the small space. I needed to do something to keep my hands busy before I lost it. It was tempting to leave here and go to one of the construction sites. It had been a while since I stopped by on site, and it would be enough to distract me from my spiraling thoughts. Though I seriously doubt Susan would let me leave without finishing this conversation.

“I feel like an asshole. Not just turning it on Joel, but for even having these thoughts. I— I really like him. I want to be with him, but this is a lot.”

Susan looked sympathetic. “It is a lot. No one blames you for that. It doesn’t make you an asshole. That kind of relationship isn’t for everyone. But you have to think long and hard about it. First, can you truly handle Joel being poly? And not Cameron specifically because that might not be the only person he dates. What if he gets another boyfriend or girlfriend? How would you feel about that? Then, if you decide that you’re okay with it, that you can truly handle a relationship with a poly man, with Joel, then you have to consider this situation. From everything you said, his thing with Cam is fairly serious?”

I nodded miserably.

Susan walked over and squeezed my arm affectionately. “Then it looks like you have some decisions to make.”

My phone buzzed as I was finally walking out of the office later that day. My stomach turned to knots, just like every other time I’d gotten a notification since I’d run out of the pub, expecting it to be another message from Joel. I smiled when I saw it was River with a video of little Miri dancing at story time at the library.

River made sure to send me videos or pictures almost every day of his daughter, and I couldn’t get enough. I’d never expected to get grandchildren the way I had. I mean, no one had expected the omega gene to come back, and then for my son to be the first omega pregnant? Yeah, I hadn’t had that on my bingo card, as my daughter Essie would say. But Miri was the light of my life and I thanked the gods every day for bringing her into this world.

Then my other son, Lake, had adopted Ro last year. That was another thing I’d never seen coming. That poor boy had been through hell, but Lake and his partners, Logan and Evander, had gotten him out and eventually were able to foster him. They were still working on legally adopting him, but I considered him my grandson as much as Miri was my granddaughter. Even when everything else around me felt like it was falling apart, those two made me feel whole again.

I was too focused on the video that I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings until I bumped into someone.

“Oh, sorry about that.”

“Mr. Simmons?” Fuck. I looked away from my phone and came face-to-face with Cameron. My heart skipped a beat. He was an objectively handsome young man, but I never really looked at him like that before. He was my son’s friend for gods’ sake.

“Cameron, uh, what are you doing here?”

He blinked up at me, his eyelashes unnaturally long, like maybe he was wearing makeup. His hair was up in a half up, half down style with a fuzzy looking scrunchy. He had a sky-blue hoodie on that was cropped short so his stomach was showing, and my eyes fell to the diamond stud in his belly button. His jeans were whitewashed and tight with more holes cut into them than fabric. He always dressed like this, it was no different than 100 other outfits I’d seen him in over the years, yet this time I couldn’t look away.

“I, um, can we talk? I know you’ve been avoiding Joel. I wanted him to come with me too, but he’s giving you time and not violating your privacy.” Cameron rolled his eyes and waved his hand away, like those very considerate thoughts were a waste of time. “I don’t have patience for all that. My Daddy’s sad and stressed and that’s partially my fault, so I’m here to fix it.”

I scrubbed my face. Shit. My brain couldn’t even comprehend the Daddy thing, not yet. My life had done a complete 180 in the last year or so, and I didn’t have enough brain cells to comprehend it all.

“Cameron, this isn’t your fault. It’s my own issues I gotta work through. There’s nothing to talk about.”

Cameron placed his hands on his hips and scowled at me. “Yeah, I don’t give up that easily. I have a major headache and am dying for a macchiato. There’s a place around the block. Can we go there and talk? Please?” Cameron pouted, and I was a fucking goner. How the hell did Joel ever say no to that?