Chapter 12

Chapter

Twelve

Autumn and Jarom exited the house and met retired Captain Chad Millecan on the porch. Aiden had sent her the pedigrees of the Coleville ranch hands when they first started working with them over a year ago. Chad was a thirty-something, burly ranch hand who’d served with the Navy SEALs and now had a wife and two young daughters. She, Easton, and Jared carried a gun and a knife at all times, but this guy was armed with a P226 MK25 pistol and SRK knife visible and an M4A1 slung over his back.

“Thank you for taking the time to escort us, kind sir,” Jarom said with his usual flair, shaking Chad’s hand.

Chad blinked at him. He probably thought Jarom was a preppy guy he’d never relate to. Autumn knew Chad’s type. Former military, ultra-tough and skilled; great guy, but he had trouble relating to anyone who wasn’t as burly and manly as he was. Her spine straightened. Chad might be a former SEAL captain and more heavily armed than her, but she’d fight him if he disparaged Jarom.

A slow smile spread across Chad’s face. “It is an honor, Mr. Love.” He inclined his head to him like a knight of old. “My wife is enamored with you. She follows you on all your social media sites. I can’t tell her you’re here, but would you sign something for me and after you’re home safe I’ll give it to her? She knows the Colevilles have famous friends like Elizabeth Oliver so that’ll explain how I met you. I have to tell you she became even more of a ‘fan girl’ when you pretended to be engaged to Elizabeth and protected and rescued her from her father.”

Jarom smiled as if this response was normal. Autumn was stunned. Everybody was a Jarom groupie, apparently. Wasn’t Chad bothered his wife was enamored with an ultra-hot and famous billionaire?

Ugh. She could keep stacking up the reasons she couldn’t be with Jarom. Being associated with someone as famous and recognizable as him would change the jobs she could do.

Selfishly, she didn’t want to share him with the world or be jealous of every woman who had a crush on him. She’d assumed it was simply every un-attached woman, but apparently the married women had crushes on him too, with the approval of their beefy husbands. It was perplexing.

“I’m the one who is honored, Chad.” Jarom gave him a winning smile. “If you live on the property, can we not simply go meet her and I can sign something for her then?”

“No,” Autumn interjected. “The Colevilles’ security personnel and their families are vetted and trustworthy, but the fewer people who know you’re here the better. What if his wife decides to share with the world she met you?”

“Chad’s lovely wife would never do that,” Jarom protested.

Chad lifted his hands. “No, she wouldn’t, but think how excited she’d be about meeting you.” He arched his brows. “What if she slipped and accidentally told her mom or her sister or her friend? She’d say something like ‘You can’t tell anyone and then she’d squeal, ‘I met Jarom Love!’.” And the tough, burly guy waved his hands in fake excitement and squealed—actually squealed.

Autumn could only stare. She rarely felt behind or out of touch. Right now, she felt both. She couldn’t comprehend how Jarom won hearts from every walk of life and made even a bodyguard act unlike himself.

Yet she could. She’d seen firsthand how gracious, magnanimous, and unselfish he’d been with everyone. She was another groupie. He’d easily won her heart, and instead of wanting to knock him down, she craved his words, smile, glance, and touch. She was decidedly not acting like herself. How could she get back to the real Autumn Cardon when she couldn’t distance herself from the enticing icon that was Jarom Love? The deeper problem was she felt like she had an inside track to the ‘real’ Jarom Love. It was ridiculous. The agony when they went their separate ways would destroy her. Panic pressed into her chest. She resisted rubbing at it.

“I adore my Missy,” Chad continued, “but all she knows about the protection details is that they happen. She respects my work and checks with me before she goes to visit Mama Millie or takes the girls for a walk or to see the horses at the main barn. She thinks the ranch is a safe, beautiful place to raise our girls and she loves the Colevilles. Besides everyone in Coleville knowing about Jacey and Elizabeth Oliver coming, she assumes most details are a rich person with a stalker or a woman escaping an abusive ex.”

“Ah, I see the problem.” Jarom smiled conspiratorially at his new friend. “If I meet your impressive wife, and Missy is so thrilled she can’t hold that squeal in, then that sweet mother-in-law of yours would also leak the secret. She’d tell her friend to please not tell, and it just spirals from there. I’ve heard about tight-knit communities like this. Loads of love, but nothing is kept in confidence.”

“You got it, buddy. But thank you for offering anyway.”

“Just a moment. What is your lovely wife’s full name?” Jarom asked. “Missy, was it?”

“Melissa Millecan.”

“Splendid.” Jarom strode back into the house. Autumn rolled her eyes and followed. Her insides were coiled tightly. She couldn’t riddle out how to keep from falling deeper for this man. She’d crushed on him, fan-girled, and been enamored just like Missy Millecan. She’d let down her guard with him and now she was in a near-impossible situation of guarding her heart. She’d never admit it to anyone, but the iron around her heart was liquefying with Jarom’s blow torch of patience, kindness, and allure. He made her feel special and safe and loved.

The dozens of texts and phone calls on his phone, the social media posts she’d seen of woman after woman on his arm, and even how easily he befriended Chad should help her remember she was nothing special to him.

Jarom strode into the office just off the entry, found a piece of paper and a pen, and started writing. He took longer than she thought he would writing a nice note to Missy.

Autumn was impressed with his thoughtfulness, but she had no clue how to rein in her desire for him. Every interaction proved how impressive and out of her league he was. She was idiotically letting herself fall for a player who befriended every man and was loved by every woman. Their initial agreement of flirting and not get invested proved Jarom would move on and hurt her worse than Charles had.

What was she going to do?

Jarom smiled at her and escorted her back out of the house. Autumn stiffened at his hand on her back, trying not to feel the warmth and pulse of it. He handed the note off to Chad with a flourish and a slight bow. “I’m sure Missy is charming.”

“She’s the best. I’m blessed for sure.”

Blessed. Believers anyway. Why wasn’t Autumn ever blessed? The only thing she’d been ‘blessed’ at was learning how to fight from Jed, and being able to protect innocents and destroy evil people. She’d never be blessed to have Jarom in her life. The good Lord above wouldn’t want that to happen any more than Jarom’s adoring female admirers. Autumn’s darkness, warrior heart, and unwillingness to submit to God would dim or extinguish Jarom’s light. Soon enough, Jarom would see what she was capable of and then he’d run like Charles had. And she would be decimated.

Chad pocketed the note. “Thanks, man. I’ll hold on to this until Christmas.”

“I pray my case is resolved long before then.”

“I’m sure it will be, but this will be a better Christmas present than anything money can buy.” He gestured. “After you, Mr. Love, Miss Cardon.”

They walked out of the main ranch yard and soon found a trail through the woods. It was a brilliant fall day, the air brisk and the sun bright .

“I thoroughly enjoy how much this mimics my Colorado mountains,” Jarom said as they walked along.

“I’m sure you think your mountains are superior to any mountains in the world,” Autumn teased. She tried to push away all the angst inside her, focus on the assignment, and somehow solidify the iron around her heart.

He smirked at her. “Not superior, but I do love them. I longed for outdoor adventures as a youth, but we were usually too busy working or traveling. Sometimes that travel brought us to beautiful mountains like these and my mountains in Colorado. Then I got to hike, mountain climb, mountain bike, rappel, and paraglide.” He gave her a sidelong look. “The Swiss Alps have a corner on the superior mountain market in my mind.”

“I’ve never been.” She’d traveled on assignments with Aiden but mostly to America, Mexico, and the Caribbean. No European assignments yet.

She appreciated this safe conversation.

“We shall have to remedy that, my love.” His look was significant, as if she were his love and he was already planning a romantic trip to the Alps after they finished this assignment.

This conversation was no longer safe. Not for her heart. She had to be feisty. The appropriate response would be at the minimum to snip back that they would not remedy her lack of travel. Normally she would sucker punch him, but she didn’t want to.

Jarom wrapped his larger hand around hers. She relished the warmth of his fingers and palm. She couldn’t remember how she was supposed to respond or if she even had an articulate thought in her head. What was he doing to her?

His smile was the satisfied, borderline- smug smirk she’d expected after she admitted she’d never let another man hold her while she slept. If any other man smiled like that around her, she’d rearrange his dental work. How far gone was she? Was there any hope of recovery at this point?

She took a breath and searched for the right words. “Just because I’m allowing you to hold my hand for a picturesque walk through the forest does not mean I am falling for you. Understood?”

Jarom chuckled as if her response didn’t bother him at all. “Tell me without telling me, my beauty.”

“Argh!” Autumn tellingly didn’t pull her hand free.

“I won’t make any assumptions from you letting down your guard and for the moment not breaking my arm.” Jarom squeezed her hand. “Can you just enjoy the beautiful scenery and being together? We’re safe here and you’re safe with me.”

“I’m keeping you safe,” she snipped back. “Not the other way around.”

“That is most definitely correct, love.”

Jarom didn’t clarify that he’d meant emotional safety, but she knew that was what he’d intoned. She trusted him and had shared too much. He made her feel safe emotionally, and she’d already fallen for him, but she had to keep in mind that he was a playboy of epic proportions and they had no future. It would be devastating when he rejected her. She’d move on to another assignment and he would return to dating supermodels, actresses, and influencers.

They walked hand in hand along the pine needle and leaf-strewn trail. Just for the moment, Autumn took his advice and let herself enjoy the beautiful scenery, the smell of fall leaves and pine crunching under their feet, and most of all being close to Jarom. This beautiful and famous man somehow understood her, had penetrated her shield, and was dissolving the iron armor around her heart. He’d never chinked at it or tried to break it; he’d softly melted it away with his kindness, patience, understanding, and integrity.

Autumn shoved the future pain and fears away and let herself pretend she was someone else. That she was whole and emotionally healthy. That she didn’t have an iron heart and wasn’t a trained killer who would horrify Jarom at some point. That she had a beautiful heart that was all hers to give, and she wanted to give it to Jarom.

They’d develop and maintain a relationship after this assignment was done. Of course they would.

Autumn had never felt so optimistic and content in her entire life. She asked Jarom about his childhood while they walked, and he regaled her with intriguing stories of being the only child of wealthy parents. They’d expected a lot of him but loved him even more. He’d learned hard work, charity, and business and financial sense from them. He’d also been encouraged with his design talents, expected to work hard and learn at school, and been on exotic trip after exotic trip.

“You traveled more before you were eight than I have my entire life, and I’m twenty-eight,” she exclaimed after he shared story after story.

“I’m sorry, love. I’m bragging away. I wish you’d share more with me.” He gave her a sidelong glance.

“I shared too much last night,” she admitted.

“Anything you share is safe with me,” he said. “I would never judge you, share your secrets, or do anything but fall more deeply in love with you.”

Autumn startled. Somehow she kept placing one foot in front of the other when all she wanted to do was grab him and fuse their lips together. She basked in his words and his blue gaze.

For just that moment, Autumn was the only love of the famous Jarom Love. His fame didn’t matter. His philandering was in the past. She was his entire world, and she’d happily return the favor.

She knew in the back of her mind that being in love, having a ‘normal’ relationship and a happy future weren’t her reality. Those ideologies couldn’t be true. Not for her.

They cleared the trees and came upon a picturesque lake. Rivers entered and exited the otherwise calm lake with mountains soaring above and trees framing it. Except for the clearing they were in.

“Oh.” Autumn looked around. “What a romantic spot.” She regretted her words the moment they exited her mouth. Romance. She didn’t do romance. She was a bodyguard.

Jarom seemed bent on making her think otherwise. He lifted their joined hands to his lips, his warm breath brushing the very knuckles that had slugged him, and then he kissed the back of her hand. “Exactly my thought, beautiful.”

The look in his blue eyes made her knees quiver. He was going to kiss her and change her life’s trajectory forever.

Autumn couldn’t allow that to happen. She had to get some distance. Her mind scrambled for a way to do that without kicking Jarom in the head again.

They had company. Chad would help her. The beefy guard would stay close and interrupt the romance Jarom had planned.

Just as she thought that, Chad approached. “Everything is quiet and secure. I’ll keep a lookout while you two enjoy this beautiful spot.” He winked at Jarom as if the two of them had planned this .

Jarom grinned back at him. “Many thanks, my friend.”

Chad patted his pocket where his note lay. “I’ll never catch up, my friend.” He turned and faded into the forest before Jarom could respond.

Autumn knew Jared Coleville’s family and security team were almost as well trained as Aiden’s people. Chad would keep them safe. She could let down her guard with Jarom’s physical security, but she didn’t know that she could let down her guard with Jarom.

“Is that always the way it goes for you?” she asked, gesturing to where Chad had disappeared.

“What’s that, love?” Jarom quirked an eyebrow.

“You take a burly bodyguard who should have nothing in common with you, should actually be livid and jealous his wife is enamored with you, and you make him your friend?”

“I didn’t do much. Simply wrote a card.”

“I’ve always been impressed with you on social media, but you’re even better in real life.” She ground her teeth as soon as the words escaped. Why had she admitted to that?

“I am thrilled that you follow me on social media,” he said, coming around in front of her and cupping her waistline with his hands.

“I’m sure you are. One more fan girl to add to your very long list.”

“Autumn.” Jarom’s voice got deep and husky. “You are no fan girl, and I think you should know the ploy to flirt and tease and move on was destroyed almost immediately after I spoke those words.”

His blue gaze was sincere and penetrating. Her heart raced out of control. Was he telling her the truth?

“I hoped the idea would help you let down your guard, and it is my usual mode of operation. But with you, a shallow dating relationship could never work. The thought of ever ‘moving on’ from you is ridiculous. I believe you could be the woman I’ve never known I was searching for.”

Autumn was stunned. He’d said earlier he was falling in love with her. Now he was saying she was the woman he wanted to be with. He wasn’t just playing and flirting. He was sincere and reversing their ploy. She almost fell into his arms and admitted she felt just as strongly about him.

She teetered but then remembered their differences and the pain she could cause him, and that he could cause her. She shook her head and pulled away. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” Jarom bent closer. She knew her answer meant everything to him. She knew he was letting down walls and not just flirting or being charming like he usually would do. The only thing she didn’t know was how to respond.

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” She clenched her hands into fists and looked away. “I’m not girlfriend material, especially not for someone famous and well-loved and filled with faith like you are.”

He gently touched her chin and directed her gaze to his. “There was a whole lot loaded into that sentence. Can we dissect?”

Autumn held herself in tight control. Even the simplest touch had her wanting to let down her guard with him. She finally nodded. They could discuss it. That didn’t mean she’d change her mind.

“My fame and religion bother you?”

“Immensely.”

Jarom studied her until she thought she’d break. Break and do what? Kiss him for a long time? Beg him to give her a chance and share his faith, love, and happy world with her? She pretended to be happy, sassy, and have everything under control, but it was all a lie.

“I can’t change my faith or my fame,” he said softly. “Though I could stop all social media posting, social appearances, and being the face of my business.”

“You would do that for me?” she demanded, almost angry that he’d offer that. It was too much. He couldn’t be that invested in her. He didn’t know her. Not like he thought he did.

“I would do anything for you, Autumn.” His blue eyes were so sincere that fear rippled through her. Fear he would claim her heart, change her life, melt all her iron. Only Jarom had the power to do that.

“No.” She shook her head and backed away. “You’ve got to stop.” She pushed out a heavy breath. “You’re a charmer and a flirt and never going to settle down with one woman, especially not a woman like me.”

His gaze didn’t change. “You are exactly the woman I want to settle down with.”

Autumn’s stomach hopped happily, and heat filled her. She was a moment away from telling him all she felt for him and begging him to love her forever.