14. Jax

Jax

M y brother turns to me, glaring from under that faded baseball cap that he's had forever with an anger that I haven't seen on his face before.

"You said this was an emergency," he snarls.

"It is," I say succinctly and lean back in the seat. The underground wizzes past, and then the sun is there, bright with unusually blue skies. He turns and drives us out of the city, up to my lookout point. Neither of us says a word until he turns the car off.

"What did you call me for?"

I get out of the car and wander towards the train tracks. River sits in the car, arms folded over the steering wheel, glaring at me. I turn back and wait for him. With a sigh I can see from where I'm standing, he reluctantly climbs out of the car and stomps over to me.

"Jax, if you don't start talking, I'll leave you here."

"With a serial killer out and about, that's cold, little brother."

"Don't even joke about that!" he shouts. River takes his hat off and slaps it against his thigh before slamming it back on his head. "Start talking."

His anger is not something I'm used to. River has always been a happy guy. Something bad has happened.

"You want to tell me?" I say in an icy voice.

He looks at me and looks away. "Nope. "

"Come on, River. You hate me. Is it because I survived? Did you want me to die?" I say it as a joke, but when he doesn't answer, something tickles in my stomach, uncomfortably reminding me that there is a serial killer after, specifically, me. "I forgive you for telling Sparrow that information."

"I didn't want you dead," River says at last in a stiff tone that doesn't make me feel better.

"Wow, that's, like, totally believable and comforting." I fold my arms under my breasts, feeling defensive.

River stalks away from me and then paces back. In the distance, I hear the sound of the train blaring its horn. He grips my upper arms and shakes me. "Damn it! Why couldn't you just leave me alone?"

"Because you're my brother, and I love you, even when you're being a giant walking moron."

River grumbles and lets go. "I received some threats from a guy named Louis. Sounds like it might be your guy. I didn't take them seriously until he told me things about me that only we would have known. And the stuff I told Titan and Sparrow was accidental. I didn't know what they were like. I thought he was helping you, and..."

"They drugged you," I snap at him. "You were drugged, River. That's Titan's M.O. They were working together."

River stares at me in horror.

My head jerks up. Suddenly, the world around me seems so quiet, so still. I can hear my heart thudding in my ears. I can see everything in crystal clear quality. "Wait, you got threats? From a guy named Louis? My Louis?"

"Yes, Jax, threats, the ones where if I don't stay away from you, my two younger sisters will suffer for it. My mother will pay for it. My father will be punished for it."

I wince. "You couldn't have said something? "

River glowers. "There are some indicators that I'm being watched." He looks up and rubs his hand against his mouth, looking exhausted. He spreads his arms wide. "Come here."

I hug him tight. "You should have found a way to tell me."

"I couldn't risk it. You have too many things on your plate, and this was just another." He breaks away from me and takes a large step back. "We can't be close from now on. I have to protect them. Those three idiots we both hate to call family."

"I understand."

"But it's not fair," River says quietly.

"Not even a little bit."

"I haven't missed you at all."

"Barely noticed you were gone."

"Having the time of my life."

"Might throw a party."

River hugs me again, tighter this time. "Stay alive, Jax, or I swear to that secret supply of sugar you hide all the time that I will hunt you down, bring you back, and kick your ass."

A car pulls into the car park, and through the windshield, I spot Rafael and Gideon.

"You messaged them," I accuse.

"Of course," River says. He takes a step back. "I'll be seeing you, Jax. Stay alive."

My throat squeezes closed. "You, too, River," I manage to squeak out.

I watch him drive away. Dane gets out of the car and stalks over to me. He scoops me up, hugging me tight. The train going out of Hurricane screams past. The rocks vibrate, and the whole world seems to rattle as it passes.

If only we could be on that train. Escaping this nightmare together.

"It's going to be okay. We're going to fix this. "

"We have no idea who he is, and he's just going to keep killing until there's no one left but me. He's taking everything from me. Now, River," I growl.

"That's not going to happen," Dane snarls.

"How do you know? He's effectively cutting off all my family and friends. I don't have a job, Dane. Hell, I don't even have money. He took that. I can't see my family. River is being threatened now. I have no friends because everyone thinks I'm involved. I have no idea who he is because he should be fucking dead, and at every point, there are people who think that his sins are mine and want to punish me for it."

"You have me," Dare roars, cutting my argument off at the knees. We stare at each other, those words throbbing in the air between us. "You have me."

Everything in me calms. The panic ebbs, and I stare at him, amazed and shocked that he's right. "I have you, and that's enough," I whisper.

"You have me, and I'm not going anywhere," He confirms.

He angles his head, ducking down, pausing to search my eyes. I close the distance between us, kissing him like he's the last kiss I'll ever have. Dane is everything to me. They all are. I lose track of time, hell; I lose track of where we are. My body heats and then turns to fire. I want him so badly.

"I need you," I whisper.

Dane groans. "We have to go. We have an appointment."

I raise my brows. "With who?"

"With a very important man in this city, or so I got told."

I scowl, but when he takes my hand, I follow him back to the car.

"Who?"

"Titan's left-hand man. Gage. "

Gage is an older guy, maybe about twenty years older than me, but tough as bricks. But unlike the others in Titan's gang, he's got a clear head and common sense.

"Oh, okay," I say while I play with his fingers.

"And we have to see your doctor. You need to get some blood work done."

My stomach cramps with fear. "I haven't been taking my meds."

"I know. We'll take care of it," Dane assures me and opens the door.

I slide into the car, my stomach in knots, as the car door closes. Rafe leans around the seat, and his smile dims.

"Dane, we said we'd wait."

"Why not rip the bandaid off?"

Gideon laughs softly. "Good to know you two haven't changed at all."

"How exactly are you going to fake my blood work?" I interrupt and lean back in the slightly stinky car seats. They smell like old socks and perfume.

"We aren't going to fake it. We're going to buy it," Gideon says confidently.

I scoff. "What makes you think it's possible?"

"Because I already found someone and have a price."

I exhale, shocked at Gideon's words. "How?"

"Mason knows people." Was all he'd say.

The doctor's appointment went exactly as they said. They told the doctor what to write, supervised him writing it, and then paid the man. They did the same with the woman who took my blood. It was all done so quickly and under the radar that I walked out with my head spinning, unable to grasp what the hell just happened.

When the car pulls up outside the Red Shard, my stomach tightens painfully, and I find myself staring at the door. I don't know if I want to see Lisha, or Titan, or Astaire, or all three of them, but by the time I'm standing in front of the door, where Astaire should be, my hands are sweaty, and my heart is racing.

"You okay?"

"Ah, just thinking that if my heart continues to race like this, I might need to see that doctor again."

Dane laughs. "Come on, Jax, you'll be okay."

"I know. I just…"

Rafael grips my cheeks and presses a chaste kiss to my lips. "I know, Jax. We all get it. But you can do this."

He lets me go and holds out his hand. I take it and allow him to guide me into the club. The walls are painted red, and they're clean. The scent of urine is almost gone, the scent of booze is still here, but only faintly.

I walk into the main area, and my eyes immediately go to the spot where Titan blew his brains out. There is no sign whatsoever of it happening. In fact, the renovation looks amazing. But my mind remembers.

"Welcome."

I look up and see Gage. We've never really spoken before, but we've remained cordial. He's still got muscles that make him look like a wrestler, a short grey beard, and small eyes that have a shrewd intelligence shining out.

"Gage."

"Well, when we set up the meeting, this is not what I was thinking." Gage leans on the bar and strokes his cheek while he eyes me coldly. All the bottles of booze have been cleaned and put back in front of the mirror. They shine and glow like a wall of flowers.

"We're here for information."

Gage tilts his head back. "I'm not inclined to give it now I know she's here. "

I scoff and turn away from him.

"Watch your mouth, bitch."

"Hey!" Gideon snaps. "Don't you speak to her like that."

I whip around and bare my teeth. "I didn't do anything to your boss."

"Nah, but I reckon you got him killed. That's the word on the street. You mess with Jax Shade, and you end up under the Black Dahlia Killer's knife. So, I prefer you get out of my fine establishment. Boss, he wasn't no fucking serial!"

I roll my shoulders and glare up at him. "I didn't do anything."

"Fine. I hear that, but facts are you're a plague bearer. One touch, and death comes."

I walk towards him but stop just out of his reach. "Listen to me, Gage Marcel. I need to know who was blackmailing Titan. Who did he see before he died?"

Gage's eyes flicker with surprise. "Blackmail?"

"Titan wasn't involved in the killings. Louis hated people who used their fists. So, someone blackmailed Titan into doing this. The person must have had something on him or on his family."

"He had no family other than us." Gage shakes his head. "I figured he was messed up that night, just the stress of everything…you telling me someone hurt my boy?"

"I don't know, I think so. But I need to know anyone he saw before…"

"I don't know. I have no idea. The police tossed his house, too, destroyed anything left. The boys went through and took things. It's been three months. I don't see that you'd find anything now."

"You're still paying rent?"

"No."

My hope crashes.

"We own it outright."

I exchange a look with Dane. "Can we take a look? "

"Sure, his loft is above the bar."

Gage leads us through a corridor behind the bar to a set of stairs. He hands Gideon a key. I take the stairs two at a time. The place compared to the rest of the club is wrecked. It's a dank little room with a king-sized bed and very little else. There's a funky smell in the air, and the sheets are stained. I look around and feel a little hopeless.

I can't help but notice the parallels between how I was living and how Titan was. We weren't living with any kind of pride or joy. It was just a place to put our heads at the end of the long nights. We took no pride or comfort in our homes. I wonder if he hated himself as much as I hated myself.

I wander around, opening a door that leads to a bathroom. With a muttered curse, I turn on a flickering light. I look up and into the mirror. I can see Titan standing here, facing himself and all the demons in the morning light. He smiles at me, in my memory, and it's a cruel and cold smile full of violence.

What was he hiding? No, I know what he was hiding. Where was he hiding it?

I shut it all down, turning off my emotion, and start searching like I'm trying to find a spot to hide the presents Louis leaves me. I'm good at that.

It takes me thirty minutes, and I find it by mistake. Gideon, Rafe, and Dane are leaning against the wall. After the third time of snapping at them, Gideon moved them out of the way and let me work.

"Uh-ha!" I climb up on the bed and reach up, but I'm too short. "Gideon, come and lift me up."

He walks over and slowly lifts me up. I take note of the sultry look on his face but reach up to the lightbulb socket and twist sharply. It comes out of the room, dangling down. I push my fingers into the roof and feel an envelope; it takes me a second of wiggling, but I manage to pull it down.

Gideon lowers me to the ground, letting my entire body slide down his, feeling every inch of his hard shape. I give him a flat stare and pat his chest when I'm down.

"Thank you, G."

"Your welcome," he purrs.

I step back and open the envelope. My heart is racing, and I don't know what I want. I pour over Titan's writing, reading the sordid details over and over. I memorise everything written. Every. Name.

My mind gets very, very quiet.

I give the letter to Gideon to read and watch as his face tightens. He passes it to Dane, and finally, Rafe reads it and hands it back to me.

I don't let them say anything, just walk past them, ducking my head when Rafe opens his mouth. Titan is more fucked up than I ever believed, and right now, I'm grateful to Louis. I feel gross, like I've swum in a vat of oil. It has left a coating of corruption on my skin.

I lead them down the stairs, and when Gage steps forward; I hand him the key and the letters.

He reads them and turns ghostly white. "What are you going to do?"

I look down at my hands. On the one hand, I should hand them over to the police, but on the other, Titan is dead. He can't hurt any more women.

"Burn them," I say evenly.

Gage stares at me. We both know this could bring down the last of Titan's club. But they aren't all bad guys. There were just a few who were truly rotten. Some of them found homes here. Like Astaire and Gage. "Are you sure? "

I hate that Louis has put me in this position. I hate Titan even more.

I hate it, and I hate the fact that my name is on that list. The list of women that Titan raped. Seeing my body laying there, covered in bruises, after he'd stolen what I refused to give has just brought all those bad memories back. I don't even remember him taking my photo.

Titan is the lesser of two evils. I hate that I can't give those women justice. More than anything, I hate it. But I can't allow Louis to use it, either. "Yes. Burn them all. He's dead, and it won't erase our memories. It won't fix anything now. So, let it burn."

Burn it all.