10. Jax

Jax

G ideon didn't let me look at the photos until after we ate our burritos. He then gave me the bags of photos and disappeared, returning with a glass full of bourbon and the bottle. Three hours have passed. I throw the last batch of photos down on the floor and swear, long and low. I use every single dirty word I've ever heard in my life; it doesn't make me feel better. At all.

"As far as I can tell, the only house he hasn't infiltrated is this one, and we can't be certain about that," I spit in disgust. It feels hopeless. I refuse to say out loud just how terrified I am.

Dane rubs his cheekbone. He looks really upset. I almost don't want to ask.

"What?"

"Are we sure it's just photos? I mean, what if he can hear us?"

I shudder and put my head in my hands. Just thinking about the idea that Louis might have bugged my friends and families' homes just to spy is a new level of stalkerish behaviour that turns my stomach with pure terror.

"All right, let's not just jump straight to the worst," Rafe says. He rubs his eyes, and I can tell he's stressed, too. Gideon is sitting back, calmly glaring at the photos with a glass in his hands that he turns counterclockwise every thirty seconds or so.

"Some of these cameras have to be little ones placed in spots where they can take these with no one noticing. You can tell because they are from repetitive angles." I point them out. Most of those types occur in my private home. He even had a camera in the bathroom, with several shots of me showering. I refuse to look at those photos.

I feel so violated.

Dane leans back on the couch. "I'm impressed with his methodical, obsessive skills. I mean, we can rule out someone who is sick or disabled, elderly. The person who took these is healthy, agile, and, in some cases, strong."

I sit forward, staring at the photos. "You're right, whoever it is was following us several times. They had to have blended in and moved quickly to avoid detection." My excitement fades. "Or they hired someone."

"I don't think so. That would mean giving up control, and Louis seems to be all about control."

"Either way, it needs money, so middle or upper class," Rafe says. He looks around and shrugs, his cheeks red. "Taxis are expensive, and we would have noticed the same car stalking us."

"Unless he was stealing them like I was."

"No, because there would have been a chance he would have been caught." Gideon sniffs and empties his glass. "He can't risk getting caught."

"You know this still leaves just about everyone who knows me, right?" I pick up the photo of me in Sparrow's office and glare at the ring on my finger. I don't know what makes me do it, but I turn the one on my hand and glance up to find the three guys staring at it in various expressions of distaste.

"Why are you wearing that?" Dane asks coldly.

I take it off and put it on the photos. "Because it's mine, and he was watching."

Gideon's eyes clear. "The spectacle, of course. He'd need to see it. "

I shrug. "I hate this thing, but I'd rather have it in my possession than have it keep appearing randomly, freaking me out."

Rafe smirks and gives Dane a look. "That's pretty damn smart."

"Yes, I do smart things occasionally," I snap at the three of them. Damn it, why do I keep taking my temper out on them? "Sorry," I mutter. I look down at the Sparrow photos again. Same angles. Eddie's house has three cameras, all near the roof. There's also a stationary one in the library.

I shake my head. "He anticipated our every move. This is getting old"

"Not all of them," Gideon says evenly. "He hasn't seen me coming."

I rub my eyes. "We can't ignore him any longer. We wasted almost two months while they pumped antipsychotics into me. How are we going to end this?" Before Louis ends one of my guys.

"How did he know we would be at the cemetery?" Dane asks. He reaches out and finds one of the photos.

"He followed us." Rafe sits forward, pulling the stack of cemetery photos out and spreading them across the table. "See."

"No, he didn't. Look at this photo. He's ahead of us. Those trees were further in the cemetery than we went. He's looking back at the gates. He's looking down on us."

I try to visualise the cemetery, and my heart picks up. Holy crap, how did he know we were going there? That was a spur-of-the-moment decision. "We need to go see Jacob."

"Yes." Gideon exhales, leans forward, and starts packing all the photos up.

"What are you doing?" I snap, I lunge forward to stop him, but he turns his body and continues scooping.

"Enough staring at this creep. Let's watch a movie or do something. We can go out. Go up to the lookout," Gideon says calmly. He sounds so much like Mason that my heart twinges, but his expression is pure Terrance.

I almost protest, but he's managed to get all the photos into a box and hands it to Dane, who promptly disappears with it.

"We don't, we have to-"

"No, we don't. How much living have you done since Louis ruined your world?"

I shudder but don't answer. Gideon knows exactly how pitiful my lonely life has been. He watched it all play out as one of the few spectators.

"Come on, let's go out." Gideon grabs my wrist and stands, pulling me up with him. I lose my balance and crash into his chest, but I don't fall. He catches me, steadying me. I stare up at him, aware that I'm falling into his gaze, losing myself, and I don't care. I should be terrified. The last time I fell for a man, he destroyed everything I touched.

Can I trust them?

Dane grabs the glasses and the bourbon and takes them away. Rafe reappears with jackets and my purse.

"I'm feeling outvoted right now," I grumble.

"Yeah, that's gonna happen sometimes," Gideon smiles. "So, we've decided we're all okay dating you," he spits out, and I'm so stunned that I can barely form a coherent word.

My eyebrows raise to my hairline. "You are?"

"Yes. We love you individually. We love each other, too. None of us feel threatened by the other, so if you are happy with it, we're proposing three relationships instead of one."

My eyes are so wide they ache, but I can't even blink. "Wow. I'm not sure what to say."

Gideon snaps his fingers. "Just to formalise whatever this is."

"So I would be your girlfriend, and his, and his?" I ask, pointing at them one by one. "Are you sure? "

Gideon snorts and shakes his head. "Of course, we're sure." He smirks and heads for the door.

"Hey, she might not want this!" Rafe calls out.

Gideon turns halfway around and raises his eyebrow mockingly. "She wants it."

"Gideon, you can't just decide for her and us," Rafe says in frustration.

"She can't choose. In all the world of bad things, we are the only good that has broken through. She can't choose, and she won't, and we don't expect her to. I'm not asking if she's dating us. We know she is, she knows she is. I'm telling her we are okay with sharing her so she can squish that little vine of doubt that's creeping through her mind and focus on enjoying the moments with us."

My blush is instant and unexpected. I stand there, unable to think of a single intelligent thing to say. There may be some drawbacks to having a ghost who knows me this well date me.

But the relief of having an answer where I don't choose, I don't have to hurt anyone. Where I'm free to love multiple people. The relationship would look nothing like what I had and that, much to my self-disgust, is a huge part of why I'm comfortable pursuing this. I need a different way of being with someone.

I hear that truth and then embrace it and take it into me. I need different now, and that's okay.

Rafe touches my arm. I can tell it's him by the scent.

"You don't have to do this."

I open my eyes and smile. "I want to. It feels right."

The relief on his face is instant. "All right. So we just talk and figure things out as we go?"

"Yes."

"Cool. "

"Can you two stop mooning at each other and get in the car?" Gideon asks bluntly.

I scowl at him. "I liked you better when you were a tall, scary, dark-shaped hallucination."

"No, you didn't," Gideon says and slides into the driver's seat.

Half an hour later, I jump out and spin in a circle. Gideon lifts me by the waist and spins me around.

"We did it," he crows.

I laugh, and when he puts me down, I lunge into his arms. Being here with him, being here with him in a body, is like a dream I never let myself dream. I let go of him and step up to Dane. He raises a brow and watches, his arms crossed over his chest, as I approach.

I slide into his space and smirk as his arms drop, landing on my hips and squeezing.

"Are you happy?"

I close my eyes. "I'm happier than I've been in a long time."

He kisses the tip of my nose. "Good."

Rafe presses against me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder. I lean my head back and smile.

"It feels like a dream. There's the nightmare part of it and the dream part. You three are the dream. I don't want to wake up."

The car cuts off suddenly, the music stopping. The lights turn off a moment later, and I inhale sharply.

It's so thick with ghosts we're almost surrounded. There are dozens of them. I recognise most of them even if I'm not familiar with them. But Bob the Bastard makes himself known, jerking and shuffling in our direction.

Rafe and Dane draw me back.

"Um…"

Gideon stands around, his head cocked to the side. A heavy hand hits my head, and I stumble back .

"WAKE UP!"

I jump, my eyes wide, fear trotting through me. I look around, I can't see her, but I can hear her. This is ridiculous.

"That's my mum," I say to Rafe.

She shouts again, and this time, Gideon turns in her direction.

"They say you haven't been listening."

I think rapidly and then wince. "It's the drugs. They are out of my system now. They stop me from hearing them."

Gideon cocks his head to the side. "You heard us in the psych ward the first time."

"Yes, but the new concoction turned my world silent." I shrug. "I hadn't put two and two together."

"They're happy you're back."

I nod my head, not as happy as the ghosts that I'm back.

Gideon says something to them, and they gradually thin out and disappear, but the appearance has been a hard crash back to reality.

I lean into Dane's side and watch as Gideon walks around. It's still strange seeing him in Mason's body. Terrence was about the same build, but his colouring was all different, darker. The gold is working, but it still feels odd. It feels worse that I'm not having any issues accepting that he isn't Mason.

"Do you think Mason is happy wherever he is?"

Dane squeezes. "I don't know, but I think for those that pass, it's peaceful. A place of rest."

"So why do they stay?"

"Unfinished business, powerful will, something they need to do, fear. Love. Hate. Envy. Greed. Guilt. Denial."

Rafe goes back to the car and flicks the lights back on. The remaining ghosts disappear .

Gideon stomps back towards us and walks straight into me, lifting me up. I lock my legs around his hips and wrap my arms around his neck, holding on.

"We're going to survive this," he growls.

I stare at him, confused by the desperation in his eyes. "What's wrong, G?"

"Your mother has a message."

My shock makes my mouth dry. "What was it?"

"She said, ‘It's not right, it's broken, it has to be fixed, the natural order.' Then she screamed into my face."

"What did she scream?"

"She said, ‘Find him'."

I blink. "That's new."

"Is it? I wouldn't know. You have an interesting family." His mouth tilts up at the side.

I sigh, guilt swamping me. "Do you know why River is avoiding me?" I ask.

Gideon shakes his head. "He's avoiding all of us. I haven't been able to get close to him," he admits gently.

"All right. A problem for another day," I concede.

He buries his face against my throat and then drags his teeth before sinking them in hard enough to bruise. I cry out at the sudden feeling, but it centers me, I'm back in his arms, feeling what's right here in front of my face.

He lets go and taps the underside of my thigh. "Let's go get ice-cream or something. I don't want to go home yet, but I really don't want to stay here."

The light extends across the gravel car park, and the dark shape of trees take on a sinister appearance. Suddenly, I want nothing more than to go somewhere light and fun.

I agree with him and let myself drop down. Rafe steadies me, and I turn in his arms, reaching up to kiss him softly .

"Thank you. Thank you." I direct the second thanks to Dane.

He winks at me before getting into the car and pulling the door shut. Rafael smiles as he cups my cheek.

He guides me into the backseat and climbs in behind me. I turn and look out the window as we drive away, seeing the black specters start to reemerge, twisting and dancing in their agitation.