Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

T he last thing Edwina wanted after the conversation with her sister was to go down to dinner. Instead, she wanted to stay in her room and consider her feelings about the Duke of Harbeck.

It felt as though those feelings were something that could be dispensed with if only they were pondered long enough, like a knot in her hair that would give way to enough brushing. If she gave enough attention to the problem, it would disappear under her efforts. It felt as if it had to.

But that didn’t seem to be happening, and eventually, she was forced to accept the fact that this wasn’t going to be resolved easily. Certainly, it wasn’t going to be resolved tonight. She had no choice but to put her feelings aside and go down to dinner—she would be better off dealing with this later.

Everyone was already gathering in the dining room when Edwina arrived. A seat had been reserved for her beside her brother, and she noticed that Lord Kentrow had been installed in the seat on her other side. Her feelings about that were mixed. She didn’t mind sitting beside him. She had meant it when she’d said that he was good company. But she was also very aware, now, that everyone around her perceived their interactions as leading toward courtship or even marriage. That wasn’t her intent, so did she have some sort of obligation to put a distance between the two of them?

She didn’t feel as if she was deceiving Lord Kentrow or leading him on. He smiled at her as she sat down, and she thought how easy it was to be around him. If only they could simply be friends with one another and not have to worry about love or courtship.

Perhaps they could. He had never given her any reason to believe that he would try to push things farther than what she was comfortable with.

She leaned over to him. “Good evening,” she said.

He beamed at her attention. “Lady Edwina, it’s always such a pleasure to see you.”

“I didn’t know whether you would be attending this party,” she said.

“If there was a chance to spend time with you, I’d never miss it.”

“No, of course you wouldn’t.” She smiled teasingly at him, but then she became serious. “In truth, I’m very glad you’re here,” she said. “I always find you so easy to talk to.”

“You flatter me.”

“Not at all. You’re simply a very calming presence, My Lord. I’m happy to spend time with you.”

“Then I have much to look forward to this week,” Lord Kentrow said with a smile.

Edwina was about to answer, but she was distracted by an all-too-familiar sight—the Duke of Harbeck had just appeared, and now, he took a seat directly across the table from her.

Had he done that on purpose? Was he sitting there out of a desire to look at her or to make her look at him? If that was the case, he was going to be disappointed. She was determined not to give him what he wanted from her.

She kept her eyes firmly on Lord Kentrow as he began to share a story, nodding and smiling at everything he said. The truth was that she wasn’t even following his words. She had no attention to spare for him. All she could do was track the Duke out of the corner of her eye. He had made it very clear that he didn’t like her paying attention to Lord Kentrow—though why he should feel that way, Edwina still didn’t understand—so she was glad that he was being forced to watch her speaking with Lord Kentrow now. Let him see that she had moved on from him. She had never cared about him in the first place. Let him think on that.

“What do you think, Lady Edwina?” Lord Kentrow said.

Edwina was jerked back to attention. “I’m sorry,” she said, aware that she had made a fool of herself by failing to follow the conversation. “I’m afraid I missed the question—would you repeat it?”

Lord Kentrow smiled, unperturbed as he always was. Edwina had never known him to be bothered by anything, and for the first time, she felt rather ashamed of the way she was acting toward him. What if he did think this was heading toward a proposal? What if he believed he might be able to marry her?

If he believes that, it’s his own fault. Haven’t I been as clear as glass, letting everyone know that I am unattainable? How could anyone still believe otherwise?

“It’s no trouble at all,” Lord Kentrow said mildly. “I was merely asking you whether you might be interested in a promenade during the coming days? If the weather continues to be fine, it might be pleasant to go into town.”

“I would be happy enough to go,” Edwina said because it was the truth. The idea of a day out of the house spending time with Lord Kentrow was more than just tolerable, it was downright appealing. It would mean a day away from the watchful eye of the Duke, and that was something she badly wanted.

“Well, that’s wonderful.” Lord Kentrow sounded delighted. “I’ll make the arrangements.”

It seemed the Duke had been listening, for now, he spoke up from across the table. “Are you intending to go out on your own with no chaperone, then?”

Edwina was furious. How dare he interfere like this in her business? “It’s no concern of yours if I am,” she said.

“But of course I wouldn’t dream of taking a lady out without a chaperone,” Lord Kentrow assured with a smile. “I’m sure your brother would be only too happy to accompany us.”

Of course, he would. Edwina knew that. Matthew wanted to see a proposal here, so he would do whatever it took to facilitate that. Thinking about it in those terms made her want to go on the promenade less than she had before because she was concerned about giving the wrong impression. But at a certain point, Lord Kentrow simply had to take responsibility for his own perceptions. She hadn’t promised him anything, and she’d made no secret about who she was or what she wanted in life. If he had failed to understand those things, there was very little she could do about it.

“Perhaps it would be best if a group of us went into town on this promenade,” the Duke suggested, his eyes on Edwina. “Perhaps it would make for a fun excursion, and everyone would have a good time together. You wouldn’t object to that, Lord Kentrow, would you?”

“Oh, certainly not,” Lord Kentrow said. He smiled again. Edwina usually found that smile charming, but at the moment, it irked her. Didn’t the man ever stand up for himself? Didn’t he ever have anything to say on his own behalf? Or was he so determined to be easygoing that he would simply agree with whatever anyone else said? If he wanted time with her, surely, he shouldn’t be so amenable to someone else joining them.

She reminded herself that she was not supposed to want him to want to be alone with her. She was supposed to keep him at arm’s length. In fact, she ought to consider it a good thing that more people would be joining them at their promenade. It was a good thing.

There was only one thing that wasn’t good about it, and that was the fact that now the Duke would be with them. She had looked forward to this promenade as a way of putting space between the Duke and herself, but that opportunity was lost. He would be right there. He would probably spend the whole time in her company, trying to speak to her…she wouldn’t get a moment’s peace.

Or worse yet—what if he ignored her altogether? That shouldn’t be worse, and yet it was.

“It’s a wonderful idea,” Lord Kentrow said. “I’m so pleased you brought it up, Your Grace. We’ll have that much more fun, won’t we, if we go as a group?”

“I think so,” the Duke agreed. He sipped his wine. “Now, I hear, Lord Kentrow, that you’ve been spending quite a lot of time with our unattainable spinster lately.”

“Lady Edwina is a delight,” Lord Kentrow said. “As I’m sure you know yourself from the time you spent in her company. Tell me, have your five dates come to an end?”

“They have indeed,” the Duke replied. “She’s all yours now.”

“Excuse you,” Edwina objected. “I belong to no one, Your Grace.”

“Of course not. Heaven forbid anyone should try to take possession of the unattainable spinster.”

“Well, if anyone ever did, it would be because I’d fallen in love,” Edwina said. “It certainly wouldn’t be because I’d been charmed against my will or maneuvered into marriage by someone who thought himself more clever than me.”

Lord Kentrow looked from one of them to the other, confusion etched on his face.

“I never expected this of you,” the Duke said.

“You never expected what?”

“To hear you talk of love like this,” he replied. “I would have thought you more sensible than that.”

“I see—you thought me too sensible to talk of love.”

“Well, there must be some reason you’ve dedicated yourself to a spinster’s life, and we all know that it isn’t because you’re unable to attract the attention of a gentleman,” the Duke said. “But perhaps I misunderstood you. I thought it was your choice, being alone as you are.”

“It is my choice.”

“Perhaps. Perhaps you simply waste your time in pursuit of something that doesn’t exist.”

“You believe love doesn’t exist, Your Grace?” Lord Kentrow asked. “I daresay I have experienced it myself.”

“Maybe you have. I wouldn’t know. What I do know is that ladies have an unfortunate tendency to seek fairy tales. I must say, I did believe Lady Edwina was different, but perhaps she isn’t. It would go a long way toward explaining why she has remained a spinster all these years, wouldn’t it? Because we know the trouble isn’t that she can’t catch a gentleman’s eye. She was the diamond of her season. She could have had any gentleman she fancies, but she chooses to be alone. Why? Perhaps because she doesn’t understand the true nature of love, and so has passed it up when it has been offered to her in the past.”

Edwina was fuming. “You’ve no idea what I do and don’t understand about love, Your Grace,” she informed him coldly.

“Well, I know that you are a spinster. How much can someone know of love who has never experienced it?”

Edwina felt the urge to retort that she had , in fact, experienced what she believed to be love. But how could she say that? How could she let the Duke know that she had discovered feelings for him? She would be humiliated.

“I don’t believe you’ve been in love yourself, Your Grace,” she said. “Am I wrong?”

She held her breath, a part of her hoping that he might disagree and declare himself, as preposterous as the idea sounded.

It didn’t happen. “Of course, I haven’t known love,” he told her. “But unlike you, I don’t seek a love match. I will be happy to marry for practical reasons—for social advancement and the benefit of my family—a thing I would have thought you might do yourself, Lady Edwina—but it’s as I said, Ladies do have their preoccupation with fairy tales.”

Edwina rose from the table. “Excuse me, please,” she said to her sister and brother. “I believe I’ve eaten my fill for this evening.”

She retreated from the room quickly, unable to bear the thought of another moment in the presence of the Duke. He thought he knew her so well! But he understood nothing about her. Nothing at all.