Chapter 25

CHAPTER 25

F or the first few hours after dinner, Allan felt nothing but self-satisfaction. He had done the right thing, and he knew it, pointing out to Lady Edwina how foolish she was being. How naive it was of her to expect a love match, when such things were so rare. She ought to have been grateful for his attention!

But then, a voice in the back of his mind reminded him, she had never truly had his attention, had she? He had never intended to take things seriously. He had never meant to offer her a proposal or anything like one. And he had made that abundantly clear to her. Could he really be angry with her now when she failed to show him appreciation? What was she supposed to appreciate him for? He’d done nothing for her.

By the time the majority of the party guests had retired, Allan no longer felt as though he had done the right thing. He felt guilty and ashamed instead. All she had done was tell him that she didn’t want to see him anymore. He had intended to respect that, but he had failed at the first test.

He owed her an apology.

But how was he going to give her that? After the way she had walked out on dinner, it couldn’t be any more apparent that she wanted nothing to do with him. And he couldn’t even blame her for that, given the way he had antagonized her. He wouldn’t have wanted to speak to himself again either had he been in her shoes.

Still, he knew that he had to try. He woke early the following morning after a fitful night of sleep and went down to breakfast, hoping that he might encounter her there before too many others joined them.

She wasn’t there, but the Duchess of Loxburgh was, and perhaps the correct way to make amends was by beginning with the sister. Allan approached her. “Good morning, Your Grace.”

“Good morning, Your Grace,” Lavinia returned, smiling at him. It was something of a game between the two of them to refer to one another so formally. They were as close as family to one another—Seth was like a brother to Allan.

“I wonder—have you seen your sister this morning?” Allan asked.

The smile faded from Lavinia’s face. “I haven’t,” she said. “She went to her room in the middle of dinner last night—as I believe you observed—and she hasn’t come out since.”

“I’m afraid I might have said something to upset her.” Had Lavinia overheard their conversation last night?

“She does seem rather easily upset lately,” Lavinia said. “And I know that something happened between the two of you, Allan—something to make her wish to end her association with you. I certainly hope it was nothing untoward.”

So, she hadn’t been told about the kiss. Allan certainly wasn’t going to confess to it. “I assure you, it was nothing of the sort,” he replied. “I think she didn’t care for me very much—she knew I wasn’t looking for marriage, and so she saw me as a waste of her time.”

“My sister isn’t looking for marriage either—or so she says,” Lavinia argued. “I find it hard to believe that the fact you do not wish to marry would be troubling to her.”

“Well, I don’t know what else the problem could have been,” Allan said. “All I know is that she decided she didn’t want to see me anymore, and I wanted to respect her wishes, so I pulled away from her.”

“I see.”

“But I fear I upset her at dinner last night. We exchanged words, you see, and I’m afraid she may have felt uneasy with what I had to say to her. I may have been rude. I would like to apologize to her, but I’m not sure she’ll be willing to hear it.”

“Perhaps she shouldn’t hear it,” Lavinia said rather fiercely. “I’ve been your strongest ally when it comes to my sister, but if you’re going to hurt her and be unkind to her, you lose my loyalty. Perhaps my brother was right about you from the very start. Perhaps we should never have allowed you to associate with Edwina in the first place.”

“Truly, what happened last night was a case of poor judgment on my part,” Allan explained. “That’s the reason I so strongly wish to apologize for it. But do you think there’s any chance you can convince Lady Edwina to hear my apology? I know that if she’ll listen to anyone in the world, it’s you, Your Grace. But I also know how stubborn she is. Perhaps even you won’t be able to persuade her—but I hope you’ll try. That’s all I can ask.”

“I can speak to her,” Lavinia decided. “But I must tell you that I don’t feel sure I’m doing the right thing. I’m beginning to think the best choice would be to protect my sister from the likes of you.”

“Your sister is more than capable of protecting herself,” Allan pointed out. “She had no trouble getting rid of me when she was finished with me. She had no trouble leaving the dinner table last night when she tired of my company. I only want her to hear me out, Lavinia. And I’m not going to try to convince her of anything beyond my regret for the way I acted.”

“What did you say to her, anyway?” Lavinia asked. “What could you have said that’s moved you to such regret? It isn’t like you, is it, to respond this way?”

“No, I suppose it’s not,” Allan agreed. “But this is the way I feel. It takes me by surprise just as much as it does you, Lavinia. Last night I was sure I had done the right thing in speaking to her the way I did. It’s only now that I see what a mistake I made—and I regret it deeply.”

“Well, I suppose I can try to help you,” Lavinia said slowly.

“It would mean a great deal to me. I know that I’ve put you in a difficult situation by asking you to do this.”

“That’s right, you have,” Lavinia said sternly. “And yet, you and Edwina do seem to bring out unforeseen qualities in one another. I’ve never seen her show such interest in another person as she does with you.”

“You think she shows interest in me?” He hadn’t expected to hear that.”

“You mustn’t read into it,” Lavinia urged. “I don’t think she has a particular fondness for you. If anything, I suspect she dislikes you at the moment—and based on what you’re telling me, who could blame her for that? But I also think that you’ve gotten her attention in a way that took us all by surprise. All I keep thinking is that if she wasn’t enjoying someone’s company, the way she wasn’t enjoying yours, her usual way would be to suffer through politely, knowing that the objectionable person would eventually go away. She must have especially disliked you if she felt the need to call an early halt to your dates.”

“I suppose she did.”

“And you truly don’t know the reason why?”

“I wounded her pride, I think, by suggesting that I would make her fall for me. I suppose she didn’t want to hear that. Maybe she felt as if I was insulting her.”

“It sounds to me as though that’s exactly what you were doing,” Lavinia said sharply. “Acting as if her mind is so malleable that you can convince her of affection for you when she doesn’t truly feel it?”

“We both got into this with the intent of convincing Lady Edwina that she might feel something,” Allan pointed out. “She wishes to remain unmarried, and you have been doing nothing but attempting to change her mind.”

“It’s very different. I’m her elder sister. I’ve only ever acted with her best interests in mind, and even when she disagrees with what I’m doing, she can trust that fact,” Lavinia said. “But you—you’re just a bit of a rake who likes to stroke his own ego by making ladies fall in love with you. I should have listened to Matthew right from the start and kept you away from Edwina. I’m only glad she had the wisdom to see what I didn’t.”

“Do you truly think me such a villain?”

“That’s exactly what I think,” she declared. “A villain is what you are. You may be a friend of my husband and my brother, but you are no friend to any of the ladies of the ton, and I should have known it before allowing you to involve yourself with my sister. I will help you apologize to her because she deserves to hear an apology, and I want her to have that. But I will no longer help you to court her, or even to spend time with her, and from now on, I will trust her judgment when it comes to gentlemen. That’s the lesson you’ve taught me.”

“So long as you’ll help me today,” Allan said evenly. “I can deal with the rest of that.”

She nodded. “There’s to be a treasure hunt on the lawn this afternoon,” she related. “It will be played in partners. The pairs are meant to be random, but I can rig the game and ensure that you have Edwina as your partner. That will give you the chance to say whatever you might wish to say to her. Will that do?”

“Very nicely,” Allan agreed. “I appreciate your help, Lavinia, truly.”

“If I hear that you’ve done anything to torment my sister any further, I’ll involve my brother and my husband,” she warned him. “They won’t like that at all.”

No, they wouldn’t. Allan nodded. “You needn’t worry,” he said. “Lady Edwina and I will have a good time together today. I’ll apologize for my misconduct, and then we’ll simply enjoy the treasure hunt together, and it will be as easy as that.”

“I hope you’re right,” Lavinia replied. “You’re not the only one who has cause for regret, you know. I am not blind to how troubled my sister has been lately, and I know it would never have happened had I not brought you into her life the way I did at the auction. Don’t give me reason to regret any further. I only wish to see her happy.”

“Of course, you want that,” Allan said. “Can you believe that’s what I want as well?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think you care about my sister’s happiness.”

Allan did care about Lady Edwina’s happiness—but he understood why Lavinia might doubt him. He certainly hadn’t done a very good job of proving himself. He wished he could explain to her that concern for Edwina’s well-being was the only reason he had pulled away from their relationship in the first place. She didn’t want to see him anymore, and he couldn’t seem to control his actions around her, so, of course, it was time to bring things to an end. There was no other responsible choice.

He would be partnered with her for the scavenger hunt. That would do. It would give him the opportunity to say what he needed to say, and they could finally close the book on everything that had happened between the two of them. They could finally leave the past in the past where it belonged and move on from one another.

He would never treat her as he had over dinner last night again. That had been disgraceful—and more to the point, it had been far too personal. She wasn’t someone he felt that personally about. She was just a young lady with whom he had had a temporary liaison. He needed to remember that.

There was nothing between the two of them.

Not anymore.