Chapter 17

Jude was filling his days with estate business, glad to have the arrival of his attorney, and friend, Daniel as a distraction. They spent hours in the library working through estate ledgers, planning renovations and future directions. Jude hoped to buy a run-down neighboring estate and there was much legal work needed before the purchase could proceed.

He succeeded in avoiding Lady Audrey, their paths had not crossed since the incident the previous week. He had been mistaken in her, totally taken in by what seemed like kindness to Sasha.

When her face intruded into his thoughts, as it did quite often, then he forcefully pushed it aside. He had even begun to consider a future with Lady Audrey, but all she just saw him as a controlling, calculating man like her brother.

Daniel had brought news of some progress with the search to find Sasha's family. It seemed likely the family had gone into hiding after abandoning their property, a chateau in the southern Loire Valley.

The property had been taken into government hands, but locals in the area had recognized descriptions of Sasha and her mother. The lady of the chateau had indeed been an opera singer in Paris before marrying the Marquis, so there was a possibility this was Sasha's family.

The father had disappeared in the first wave of the French Revolution and was widely believed to be dead. If this is her family, then Sasha is Comtesse Alexandra Emillion, with very historic French and Austrian ancestors.

"My investigator thinks that there might be an elderly grandmother, living in exile in Italy, but so far he has had no success in locating her," Daniel informed Jude.

Jude was relieved, he very much hoped that Sasha would stay at Clairville, as a ward of the family. Yet he knew it would help the child, if in the future she knew her family, and the bravery of her mother, trying to escape from terror in France and forge a new life in England.

Despite his anger towards Audrey, he instructed Daniel to make enquiries into Lady Audrey Rowe and her financial situation. This was clearly something which was unclear and troubling her. He suggested talking with Mrs. Weston, who might have specific information. Had the Duke of Cheshire been gambling away his family fortune at the card tables? Was that why he had been determined to marry his sister to the Duke of Batton?

Daniel made notes, "You're sure you want me to look into this?" he queried, quill pen scratching on parchment paper. "This young woman is a governess here and has already given notice of her intention to leave. Why waste good money on this?"

"It's something I need to do, Daniel," replied Jude, unable to tell his friend how Lady Audrey Rowe haunted his thoughts, day and night. "I met her brother, when we were in town, and it would be difficult to imagine a more unpleasant fellow."

"Very well. I'll set those enquiries in motion, though for the life of me, I still don't understand why."

"Just humor me Daniel," Jude said laughing. "You've always said that little I do makes any sense."

***

The next morning, Jude worked at his desk in the library, while Daniel rode out to visit the adjoining property Jude planned to buy. He heard a knock on the door and called to enter, smiling when he saw his mother.

"Mama. How delightful to see you. I'm ready for a break. Can you ring for tea, and I'll be with you in a moment?"

"Of course," said his mother, "I have quite a lot to discuss with you."

After instructing Rosie to bring them tea, his mother started to check the china ornaments on the sideboard. Jude walked over to join her.

"Your grandmother loved porcelain. I confess I have little interest in it, other than a set which looks good at the table when we entertain," his mother said, then looking at him seriously continued. "Let's talk." She moved to sit on the chair near the fire, and pour a cup of fragrant china tea. "I'm glad there is news of Sasha's family, even if Daniel hasn't yet traced her grandmother. It will help her to know her family. Of course, I hope she will stay here. Nurse is delighted to have another charge in the nursery."

"Sasha will stay here as my ward. The situation may change in France in future, but we've made sure she is well provided for. That poor woman, escaping from France, then falling ill just as she was about to begin a new life. So sad."

"I'm glad to hear that my boy. I see Sasha as a grandchild and part of our family. Speaking of family, everything is in place for Elspeth's ball. I'm going to need some rush torches near the entrance to the house, and on the terrace. Can you ask the ground staff to make those and set them up?"

"Of course. We all want Elspeth to have a wonderful evening."

"That brings me to Lady Audrey," continued his mother. "We need a replacement. Nurse tells me she is not fully recovered from the scarlet fever, and I must admit, Jude, that I had no idea that the poor girl had been so close to death." Jude began to interrupt, but his mother put her hand up to silence him.

"No Jude, I always take Nurse's counsel on these matters. Woe betide you if you do otherwise," she said seriously, but with a twinkling smile in her eyes.

His mother looked at him with an intent expression. "I like Lady Audrey. She is a good addition to our lives. She is kind enough to stay as governess, though most obviously a lady of the ton. Nurse and Mrs. Driscoll both speak highly of her, and your sisters think she is lovely. The most important opinion, is of course, little Sasha and I know she will be sad when Lady Audrey leaves Clairville. In some ways I hope we don't find a replacement, because then we get to keep her till the end of June."

Stunned by his mother's words Jude could merely nod in agreement, while he tried to make sense of it all. Somehow, hearing her called Lady Audrey, by his mother, made him wince inwardly at the way he had talked to her as a governess.

He had been so keen she continue in that role. How would he have felt if someone had urged him to continue in a job as a groomsman, or butler? There was much to reflect on, but his mother hadn't finished.

"Finding a replacement won't be easy, but I've contacted Miss Swann, who taught Jane and Grace, to enquire if she is free. That would be a perfect situation. If not, over the summer months, Alice and Mary will be here at Clairville much of the time with their governess in tow. I can place an advertisement in the Morning Post if necessary. But for now, I agree with Nurse that what the child needs is good wholesome fresh air and an atmosphere of love and affection."

She paused, looking at Jude quizzically. "I half-wondered about asking Lady Audrey to stay on as a house guest, after June, as the girls get on so well with her. What do you think?" Jude gave her a hard stare which made her pause, "Jude? What is it?"

He looked at her, unsure what to say, if anything. Then suddenly, as if he were a small boy of eight, who had fallen from an apple tree, and needed a hug, the words tumbled out.

"Oh mother, it's too late I'm afraid. I tried to get her to stay on longer as a governess and somehow said the wrong things. Miss Banks, Lady Audrey, is determined to leave as soon as possible. I made her feel guilty, with harsh, unfair words. I doubt she will ever speak to me again."

‘Oh Jude, I'm sure that's nonsense. I was about to add, though, that if you offer for Lady Caroline, then all matters of the household including the governess, generally, will be dealt with by her. If you had a duchess, you could focus on your estate and let her manage the household." Studying her son's face, something made her stop and wait for him to speak. She reached across and patted his hand.

Finally, he spoke. "It won't work Mama. I can't marry Lady Caroline." He looked directly at her with eyes which reminded her so much of his Papa "I don't love her." He laughed and held her hand in his, maintaining eye contact as he spoke. "I remember my Papa every day. I saw how you loved each other. Dammit, mother, you were inseparable. That was true love."

His mother nodded, tears forming in her eyes.

"How can I, who witnessed such love in my parents, choose a wife whom I don't love? Lady Caroline would, I agree, make a perfect Duchess of Clairville, but although I admire her, I feel no spark of love. It would be a society marriage of convenience. I can't offer for her, every instinct tells me that would be wrong."

"I know," his mother said gently. "I just want you to be settled and happy."

"Well, I think I have just driven away the one woman who might make me happy."

His mother took a breath and gasped. "You don't mean, surely not?"

"I'm afraid so Mama. These matters of the heart are rarely predictable. I love Lady Audrey Rowe. I only realized it recently, though I have felt an attraction, a pull towards her, since the moment when I set eyes on her."

"Oh Jude," whispered his mother.

‘I fought against it. Even before I knew she was a lady of quality I felt closer to her than I have ever felt to anyone."

"Well, you know what to do," were the simple words his mother spoke. "Happiness is what is important in life."

"All, my life, ever since Papa died, I've been trying to be the earnest, austere Duke of Clairville. I fear it has become part of my character. I spoke harsh words to Lady Audrey. Words which I cannot take back, and I suspect I caused her great hurt. I don't believe it can be repaired."

His mother stood and walked to the window, gazing across to the park. She saw Lady Audrey racing alongside little Sasha towards a swing seat in the rose garden. The pair were laughing and giggling together, and it filled her heart with joy to watch them.

"It may be as you say. However, I believe you will regret it for the rest of your life if you don't try to repair things between the two of you. We have the ball within the week and what more romantic occasion for a reconciliation." She stopped to think for a moment, before continuing. "I believe I shall invite Lady Audrey Rowe to the ball. I can also think of an ally to support us in this matter. Leave it with me. In fact, I suggest you make yourself scarce for a few days. Go off to town with Daniel and Robert, or travel to the Hunting Lodge at Markham. I've always believed," and she turned to smile brightly, "that absence makes the heart grow fonder."

Turning away from the window, where Lady Audrey could be seen pushing Sasha on the swing, now joined by Jane and Grace, his mother walked back to him. He rose to meet her. She took his hands in hers and then held him close. "It will work out. I know it will work out. You are quite right, I was wrong to push that match with Lady Caroline. I just hoped there would be a spark between you, and she seemed so perfect in so many ways."

"Hush Mama, you only wanted me to be happy," he spoke in a soft, reassuring tone.

"That, Jude, is all that is important." She moved away and smiled briskly. "Now you've held me up long enough. This is typical behavior of a man under the sign of Pisces, hiding your true self away. So typical."

"Really mother, you can't believe all that zodiac business?"

"I admit to finding it diverting, that's all."

"If I'm this Pisces, then what sign are you, Mama?"

"I'm the Lion of course, my summer birthday makes me Leo. I think that quite appropriate, don't you?"

Jude laughed, wondering for a moment if there was anything in these zodiac birth signs. His mother could certainly summon the power of a lion and was always protective of her cubs.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a ball to plan," she said, and with that she whirled out of the room, leaving him staring at a polished oak door.