Chapter 18

The next few days passed in a surprising flurry of activity. Preparations for the ball continued and Mrs. Driscoll and The dowager duchess often had their heads together, planning decorations or refreshments. On one occasion Audrey smiled as she walked through the great hall, hearing the sound of cook's voice coming from the morning room.

"Your Grace, I might be speaking out of turn, but I've provided refreshments, hot dinners in fact for more balls than I remember. There have been no complaints so far. You would like the food to look like the moon and the stars this time. I can do that, but only if you let me get on and do it."

She could not tell what the dowager duchess said in response, but the placating tone of her words was clear.

Audrey smiled. It was only because there was such a close relationship between the mistress of the house and staff, that this type of honest conversation was possible. It made Clairville into a very special place in her opinion.

She saw nothing of the duke. When Rosie told her he was away for a few days, with Mr. Young, she felt more relaxed, knowing she would not catch a glimpse of him in the distance. Every time she saw him, she felt sadness spreading throughout her body, but she knew she had to stand firm and be true to herself.

Sasha dashed up to her in excitement. "Grandmama says you must come quickly to meet the dressmaker. I'm to have a dress too, even though I'm too young to attend the ball," she continued. Audrey smiled at the ease with which Sasha had begun to call the dowager duchess her Grandmama.

Audrey looked at the little girl, her heart filled with joy at the transformation. Sasha was bright, and chirpy, and threw herself into all opportunities. As the days passed, she grew more confident at the spinet, and the dowager duchess was now searching for a teacher, skilled in pianoforte, to continue this musical education.

For now, they spent time every afternoon playing the spinet together, often followed by an impromptu recital with Mrs. Driscoll, Rosie, and Her Grace as the audience. Sasha, a born performer, knew how to bow and accept applause, and it was a delight to see such emerging confidence.

Taking the little girl's hand, they walked together to the morning room, where Her Grace, along with Elspeth, Beatrice, Jane, and Grace were all gathered. The sound of excited chatter had floated down the corridor to meet them. They had passed Mrs. Driscoll on the way, and she took Audrey's arm, pausing briefly to tell her the teapot would be ready in an hour, and to come and find her. Audrey nodded acceptance, before being pulled along by Sasha.

"Look, Miss Lettie, look at the colors," she said as she raced into the room.

The dowager duchess looked up and nodded in greeting, while continuing to listen to her daughters talking excitedly.

"You must have that sprig muslin Bea, it suits your hair and skin tone. Don't you think so Mama?" said Elspeth.

"Indeed, a lovely color," responded her mother distracted.

Audrey stepped forward, taking on the society role she had trained for all her life. "That color does suit you, Miss Beatrice. Take it over there to the light by the window. I like the apricot, but wonder if a bright winter white, or a yellow moonlight shade, with a brighter sash, might match the starlight theme? Here." Audrey pointed at a bolt of muslin on the table. "How about this one?" Beatrice picked it up and went to the window.

The dowager duchess nodded her thanks.

"Now, Miss Elspeth, you need your dress to be demure as you are coming out into society, and that's what will be expected. However, because your ball has a theme, I think we can add some shimmery gossamer, and maybe even embroidered stars on the skirt," Audrey said, and then beckoned to the seamstress. "Mrs. Caruthers, can Elspeth have stars on the skirt in a silvery thread."

"Of course," responded Mrs. Caruthers. "In fact this cloth would be perfect for that," she continued, beckoning for her assistant to take a white silk material and hold it up against Elspeth's face. "We can add a shimmery overskirt with the stars, and it will be quite lovely, and very suitable for the young lady's first season."

"What gowns did Alice and Mary have for their balls Mama?" asked Grace and Jane

"Ah, Alice chose ivory silk and Mary a light lemon muslin. I think their dresses are still here, if you ask Rosie, she will find them for you," said their mother, her face filled with pleasure at the memory of her older daughter's ball gowns.

"And what did you wear, Your Grace?" asked Audrey, noticing from her smile that she was happy to be asked the question.

"My dears, you take me back too many years. It was a special evening though, that first ball, as it was the first time I set eyes on Charles, your dear Papa." She sighed, "He looked so handsome."

‘Your dress, Mama?" chimed the twins.

"I broke with tradition girls. My mother was most anxious, but I knew the color was right for my chestnut hair. I chose the green of the forest and wore emerald ribbons in my hair. We may even have my dress somewhere in the attic."

"Now Mrs. Caruthers, what do you suggest for two young ladies of fifteen years, not yet out, but who want to be dressed for the occasion? Have you anything in sky blue with a train the gold of the sun on a summer's day?" asked Audrey, moving over to pick up the bolts of cloth. Mrs. Caruthers suggested an azure hazy blue and Jane and Grace looked as though they were floating on a cloud.

Audrey looked at little Sasha, watching closely, entranced by the cloth and colors. "And you, ma petite, what shall you wear?"

Sasha, unusually quiet and serious, walked to the table, looking at the colors. After a few moments she chose the brightest sunshine colored muslin, smiled at the dowager duchess and Audrey, announcing she would be as bright as the sun. Once chosen she dashed to the window to join Grace and Jane, jumping up excitedly to look at the ribbons they were choosing to dress their hair.

The dowager duchess looked around the room, and then gave a smile of appreciation for Audrey's support. "Thank you my dear. You arrived at just the right time."

Audrey nodded. "They will all look beautiful at the ball," she murmured.

"We are missing one dress, Mrs. Caruthers. What do you suggest for this lady?" the dowager duchess said, gesturing to Audrey."

Audrey gasped. "But?"

"No buts my dear. I insist you attend the ball as our guest. I meant to tell you that I've invited Mrs. Weston to stay and join us for the ball."

Audrey was almost speechless, overwhelmed by this kindness. "That's wonderful!" she whispered.

"You need to begin to go out and about again in society. You're safe now from your brother and his schemes. Mrs. Weston and I shall support you in your return to society and of course, finding a husband," she continued.

‘Why thank you Your Grace," were all the words Audrey could find. A husband? Returning to society? This was all happening too quickly.

"Now Mrs. Caruthers, what do you suggest?"

Mrs. Caruthers scrutinized Audrey's light blonde hair and moved around several bolts of cloth. "In view of the theme of the ball I think this will suit the young lady. It isn't a usual choice, but I think it will complement the color of her hair." Audrey couldn't see the bolt of cloth from where she was standing and watched as the dowager duchess reached out to touch the fabric and nod at the seamstress. "It's perfect for her." She gestured to Audrey to come and look.

Audrey thought she had moved away from any interest in fine clothes and fripperies, but the gauzy, gossamer material with a silvery weave took her breath away. ‘It's quite beautiful. I love it," she said simply.

"We're all going to have a wonderful time at Elspeth's Celestial Ball," said the dowager duchess. "Now it's time for Sasha to go and find Nurse, for tea in the Nursery, and I'll leave you here to choose ribbons and baubles for your hair. I need to check on the decorations in the ball room." She left with a swish of her skirts.

***

Later, in the Housekeeper's parlor, Audrey took a cup of hot tea into her hands. The warmth of the porcelain refreshing her spirits.

"We're at sixes and sevens with the preparation for this ball," said Mrs. Driscoll. "I'm glad my staff are organized. Her ladyship has a new idea most days. I don't mind telling you Lettie, in confidence, that I'll be glad when this ball is over."

Careful what she said, Audrey smiled. "It's certainly going to be an event that people remember. Did you know, Diana, that I'm invited to the ball. I just found out. Her ladyship is inviting my friend, Mrs. Weston, to stay and we shall attend the ball. I wish you could be there."

"Now, Lettie, and I shall call you that until you tell me to change to Lady Audrey, I had my taste of balls and a season in London, courtesy of the duke and his mother. You know I'm a very distant cousin and spent holidays here on the estate as a child. Indeed, I remember you visiting with your brother, though you will be too young to remember. I quickly realized I had no wish to marry, and my fortune was miniscule, so it was unlikely anyone would have offered for me. I had an honest conversation with the dowager duchess, and they found me a position as companion for Alice and Mary, and in due course this role of housekeeper. I have my own place, my independence and I'm happy."

Audrey listened intently, knowing every word was true. Diana Driscoll had a happy life she had forged for herself. "I had no idea we'd met before," she said.

"As I say Miss, you were only a tiny moppet, barely speaking, and following everyone else around, carrying your rag doll." She stopped, hesitating how to continue, "I didn't like your brother then, and I'm not surprised how he has turned out. He was unkind to you and that hasn't changed. You must always be wary of him. He will use you to his advantage if he can find a way."

"I know. I tried to think the best of him, but I believe he has no heart. I struggle to believe he is my brother sometimes." She traced the pattern of a green leaf along the china cup. "I know I have to leave here," she continued, her voice catching in her throat, "but the idea of leaving little Sasha is tearing me apart," she finished as tears welled up in her eyes.

"You can write and visit. I know Her Grace will want you to stay involved in Sasha's life. My dear Lettie, please don't worry."

"Once His Grace is married to Lady Caroline, I know I won't be welcome at Clairville," said Audrey with bitterness. "For some reason she detests me."

"And you can think of no reason why that might be?" queried Diana, with a hint of laughter in her eyes.

"Well no, surely you can't mean….?"

"I can and I do. I've seen how His Grace looks at you when he thinks no one is watching. Don't forget how Nurse and I were there when you were so ill the doctor thought there was no hope. His Grace is a caring man, but he wouldn't usually behave that way toward one of his household. He barely left your side till you were out of danger." She reached across to pour Audrey another cup of tea. "I hate to say this, but it is unlikely he will marry you. Rich men don't usually marry their governesses, but he cares for you a great deal."

Audrey could see a thought struck Diana as she offered Audrey the sugar tongs. "Of course, you're more than a governess, you're a Lady yourself." She clapped her hands together. "Miss Lettie Banks, I believe you might just be giving Lady Caroline Ridlington some serious competition."

At that point Audrey burst into floods of tears. "Whatever is the matter?" asked Diana, taking Audrey's arm, patting it with concern.

"He asked me to stay. I explained I needed some time and space to recover from all that has happened to me in the last few months. I said the wrong thing, Diana. It all went wrong, and I told him I would leave as soon as there was a replacement. He hasn't spoken to me since."

Diana Driscoll held a sobbing Audrey in her arms, reassuring her that all would be well. Audrey heard the words, knowing that any brief chance of happiness had been lost in that conversation by the maypole.

A sharp knock on the door and Diana went to open it, rather than call to enter. Audrey heard a maid's voice "There's a visitor arrived. A grand lady with her own French lady's maid. She's asking for a Lady Audrey Rowe and her ladyship says that's Miss Banks."

Audrey took a deep breath and wiped her eyes on the fine lace edged handkerchief pressed into her hands by Diana Driscoll. She was now the talking point of the house. No matter. She would continue to be Miss Lettie Banks for Sasha until she could find time to tell the little girl some of her story. The household could ask questions, and she would hold her head high as Lady Audrey Rowe.

This must be her friend Franny Weston arriving, earlier than expected, and such a surprise. She now had a friend at Clairville. She stopped herself suddenly, knowing instantly that she already had more than one friend, withDiana Driscoll, Nurse Walters, Rosie, and the even the dowager duchess herself, all becoming dear friends.

With her head held high, she took and heldDiana Driscoll's hand, whispered, "will you come with me," thenwalked out to greet Franny Weston, smiling broadly as she embraced her friend.

"Audrey, there you are. No one here seemed to know your name. I am so sorry I forgot you were living under a disguised identity."

"It doesn't matter Franny, the Lightholders know who I am. I'm choosing to remain as Miss Lettie Banks for the sake of little Sasha, who has gotten used to me being Lettie. Now come and take tea, I must introduce you to the dowager duchess, and her daughters. The duke is away on business."

"Ah. I am acquainted with Her Grace, as we move in the same circles. I gather there is to be a ball."

"Indeed there is, and it has a celestial theme. We're all very excited," said Audrey, gradually relaxing into being Lady Audrey in front of the household staff.

"Now my dear, I must speak with you about some information I've unearthed about your brother. All the evidence points to your inheritance being intact. Ethan may have been hoping for a marriage settlement from The Duke of Batton, but under the term of the inheritance he cannot access your money. You need not worry financially. I'll explain later, but wanted you to hear the good news. You can work as a governess or companion if you choose, but you don't need to work."

Audrey stared at her friend, "You mean my inheritance was there all along?"

Suddenly a ball rolled across the stone flags of the great hall, followed by a puppy, lolloping after it. A tiny figure chased after the puppy, calling Flossie to come and be good.

Looking up Sasha noticed the flamboyantly dressed grand lady, in a purple turban, with an ostrich feather and a cloak of many shades of blue and pink. Her mouth opened as she stared openly at Franny.

"Mrs. Weston, may I present Miss Sasha, ward of The Duke of Clairville."

"Delighted to make your acquaintance Miss Sasha," said Franny, holding her hand out to the child.

Sasha took Mrs. Weston's hand and bobbed a curtsy, saying, "Enchantée."

Audrey looked on with a sense of contentment and pride. In that moment Clairville Hall felt like home."Franny, I've missed you so much. Come and have that cup of tea."